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@ilacatz
Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority”
and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person”
and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.
This is so well put I am stunned
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Until death, all defeat is psychological.
Caterpillar, moth, snake and cassava plant from Maria Sybilla Meriaen Over de voortteeling en wonderbaerlyke veranderingen der Surinaamsche insecten (1730).
Full text here.
Sybil Ramkin is one of my heroines though
She spends forty-odd years fat and single and obsessed with dragons and loving it and letting nobody give her any shits
And then she meets a dashing-if-drunken forty-something watchman and they think they’re too old for love but they are so, so, so wrong and their relationship starts with mutual respect and trust and grows into an incredible amount of love and affection
But she’s a fat goddess the whole time and there’s never anything wrong with that because the woman is a city
#Because she’s a fat female character who has literally zero jokes about her diet #All the jokes are about her HUSBAND’s diet #She’s vast because she’s highly-bred and her size makes her powerful #Role models yo
There’s some line in some book, I think it’s The Fifth Elephant, about Sybil being a ‘big girl’ and how ‘big girls are taught to make themselves small so other people feel bigger’ WOW YES that is such a true thing though.
Oh my God The Fifth Elephant tho
“Among the other unwanted baggage that had been heaped on the young Sybil to hamper her progress through life was the injunction to be pleasant to people and say helpful things. People took this to mean that she didn’t think.”
and
“She was large and she was kind. She hadn’t enjoyed school much. A society of girls is not a good one in which to be large and kind, because people are inclined to interpret that as ‘stupid’ and, worse, ‘deaf’.”
Within pages of this she is bending iron bars over werewolves’ heads. I really wish she’d been able to have a go at Serafine, though, after the way the woman was talking about her at the beginning of the book, as if being friendly, even with people you don’t like, is some kind of weakness.
The Fifth Elephant is where Sybil really starts to flourish as a character, IMO. And the thing is, she’s far from stupid. She really pays attention to people in a manner possibly only surpassed by Carrot, which is how she memorizes whole dwarfish arias to deploy for maximum emotional impact and extensive notes on fat mining to haggle with the Low King. She notices people, and keeps up with them, and because of that she is able to mobilize the entire of the Sto Plains to watch a Goblin performance at a moment’s notice, changing the fate of an entire race.
Sybil is large and she is kind and she can think. She is not stupid. She is not deaf. She takes such an interest in you and everything that’s happening in your life and you are damn lucky that she is kind.
Discworld Heritage Post
you have permission to pick that 2 year old "abandoned" project back up. it's not mad at you for setting it aside. and maybe time and distance have helped ease or erase the things that made you put it down in the first place.
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imagine wanting to participate in The Discourse.
Like, this is both obvious and revelatory: The people who create and participate in The Discourse are people who look at twitter/threads/whatever and say, "This Discourse seems healthy and productive. I shall participate."
So the only people we end up hearing from on twitter are people who want to post to twitter. which is to say they are definitionally weird.
Behold her radiance!!! The Meatball Supreme!!!!
Meanwhile, Maybe.
can we talk more about hair ties being unsafe for kitties? I have not heard this before and thought they were a safe toy?
They're a choke hazard and can potentially cause fatal intestinal blockages.
Generally when it comes to safe toys for cats, assume that if you wouldn't let a baby/toddler play with and chew on something, probably your cat shouldn't either. (Fuzzyness aside. I probably wouldn't let a baby chew on a wool dryer ball, but I do let the cats do that) They don't have thumbs and if they start swallowing something, they struggle to stop.
So from a size standpoint, you don't generally want to let cats play with stuff small enough to be swallowed. A big puffy scrunchie is probably fine, but this kind of hair tie? nope. Mayhem goes to great lengths to steal these and I'm constantly chasing her down for them.
It’s not just hair ties, it’s anything that is long and stringy in shape. The issue with these^ is that if they are bitten in half they become a long elastic string.
Basically, if these get stuck in the digestive track, it can cause the intestines to bunch up like an accordion. And possibly tear. Not good.
If your pet likes to pick the strings out of rope toys- mine do- then be aware those are not safe toys for them either.
That's a good clarification, thank you for pointing that out! Notably, it's not uncommon for cats to swallow things unintentionally just because the item is in their mouth and it's a reflex. This can happen when they're just playing and not trying to actually eat something.
May also be prudent to say should your cat actually consume a long stringy object don’t attempt to quickly pull the object out of the cats mouth. As tempting as it may be and as much as it is the initial panic response, pulling sharply can also cause tears and internal damage in the stomach and oesophageal tract.
Take hold of your cat, and hold the object to try to ensure it’s not fully consumed, note if they are able to breath around the object. You want to barely be tugging at all on the string, your main focus is to stop it going further in and allow your cat to regurgitate it safely. Get them to a vet afterwards to be safe.
If the string is consumed try to establish how long it may be and what it may be made of and pass that into your vet.
I like to think there's an Ankh-Morpork show (perhaps a live stage show) that's a combination of Great British Bakeoff and Forged in Fire where they bake dwarf bread and then attack a ballistic dummy with it.
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The Odyssey if the suitors were competent…
Go Check out Neet- she’s awesome (her socials are at the bottom of the linked page if you want to see some of the training videos for this and other silliness)
Full respect to the person who signed me up for Donald Trump's email list, thereby signing me up for America's Right Wing Pillow Company (????) emails.
Like, I assume you hate me, and you made me feel that hate. I have had a lot of haters through the years, but you absolutely stand out for your filthiness.
This is gonna surprise you, but when you try to unsubscribe from Trump fundraising emails, Trump does not take you off his list?
Like, who could have imagined that this particular President would show such a fundamental disrespect for unsubscribe requests.
The fastest way to accomplish The Project is to cease being afraid of The Project. The Project cannot maim you. The Project cannot kill you. The Project is more afraid of you than you are of it. It is okay if The Project turns out differently from how it was in your head, and it is okay if it has flaws. You are capable of engaging with The Project.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think it’s worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of one’s lungs
People in my notes who think I’m repressed or dissociating: you will feel better when you learn emotions are not a binary of Not Feeling It vs Being Overwhelmed By It
Ok but How Do I Do That
Learn strategies for enhancing self-regulation skills, and discover the benefits of mastering this essential life skill to help emotional dy
There are many techniques (also, there are drugs)
Thank you, but do you have any advice for teens?
So my FIRST piece of information if you’re still a teen is that genuinely as you get older it will get easier to regulate your emotions. During adolescence our brains are undergoing a lot of growth and change that genuinely does make it harder to do this, on a scientific level. However, practicing emotional regulation skills can still help a lot and if you can find something that works it will make life easier going forward
This page has more information and recommendations for some basic exercises:
Discover effective strategies for teens to manage intense emotions, develop emotional awareness, and improve overall well-being. Expert tips
"Rapid Jottings" by Kitao Keisai Massayoshi from Siegfried Bing's Artistic Japan v.6 (1891).
Full text here.
