No one talks about the mania that isn’t euphoric. That feels more like anger, annoyance, fear, and a lack of control. The mania where you replay the thought of hurting yourself over and over. The mania where you hurt yourself just to get the energy out. The mania where you keep doing drugs but don’t even know why, it just feels like you have to. The mania where you tell people you love how you would hurt them. The mania where you do hurt them.
No one talks about the mania where you know you’re out of control, but you can’t, and don’t want to stop. The mania where your sleep is erratic instead of just insomnia. The mania where you’re psychotic but still aware you’re just ill. The mania where you can keep yourself composed at work, but lose control at home. The mania where you get physically ill from how much energy is in your body.
No one talks about the mania that causes intense mood swings. Where you may feel sad or even suicidal for a few hours before going back. Where your mind ruminates on the same thought over and over before switching to a new topic. Where your thoughts feel barely even connected to each other. Where your feel like you’re losing your mind. The mania where you just want to get out.
No one really talks about mania. Just the watered down, glorified view of it.
jacobvanloon
gummygunk
snowghoul
germansingergirl
kaledo-art
theartofmadeline
prguitarman
annaxmalina
