Our Fight, My Promise

Today was such a busy day seriously but super fun(ny) too. Hmmm I think I can boil down my day to two points or takeaways.

First this morning I went to the Because We Care food give away service project thing like last time I mostly just bagged potatoes (no joke took 3 hours) but basically a lot of interesting stuff happened. My car got stuck on a hill thing like stuck stuck my wheels were just going in circles. Lolololol but it was really weird usually I think I would have been more concerned with my car, but like I just had a smile on my face and everyone was apologizing and worried and stuff but idk why I was in such a happy mood but I think I just had this deep sense of trust in God that everything would work out. And it did. I called triple AAA (thanks dad this gift just keeps on giving lol) and they moved the car and I was joking around with the tow truck guy lol. Idk but being there I just felt so safe? Idk what the right word is, even though the area is slightly sketchy I just felt so safe to be around a bunch of people who have faith and love God I think more then me probably. Anyway, this deep sense of gratitude and trust I think means that I’m going to a new level in my relationship with God. And I think this was also me kinda practicing what I personally feel like True Mother's been telling young people and I feel like in a way me specifically: to be the light. To be someone who can bring joy to others and be totally completely present in any place I’m at.

The second point is, as the title, 3rd Gen are weird. For the first time ever we had all 3rd Gen come to Dash today. It was only 4 people, but it’s just crazy like HIGH KEY ITS A NEW GENERATION! We really got to make sure we learn from all of our mistakes with 2nd Gen to make sure these guys can grow up better then we did. But let me tell you... this kids are weird. Like weird weird. I don’t even know what’s going on half the time. It’s just yea.. oh man my kids are probably going to be weirder. Rip. Is that even possible? No Heavenly Parent that’s not a challenge...

THANK YOU HEAVENLY PARENT AND TRUE PARENTS FOR AN AMAZING DAY BUT FOR EVEN MORE AMAZING PEOPLE IN MY LIFE!!!! MASEIIIII!

Today was such an interesting day. I got to have a lot of really great conversations including 2 different hour long conversations on the phone back to back lol it was pretty funny actually. I think something interesting was that I talked to a lot of people today that I either don’t know or have a super shallow relationship with. SO yea it was just really cool to talk to them, one of them is going to be a mentor to me and she’s pretty AWESOME! 

I think one of my biggest takeaways from today is that the only reason I’m here (ya know living) and the only reason that I get to have these amazing relationships is because of True Parents. I feel like I talk about gratitude all the time but it honestly is the best way i can repay them for the seriously beautiful life I and the even more amazing people I get to share it with. 

Okay that was just intro stuff... rip this jawt bout to be long as a mug and I appreciate you a lot if you take the time to read all of this. 

During my call with my new mentor I shared a little bit about my personal testimony, about how I came to have a relationship with God. Its been a while since I really shared everything and to be honest it was really nice. I think I forgot home much I really love God. And more specifically towards the mission statement, I think one of the reasons I’m so grateful for True Parents is because they show me what it really means or looks like to truly love God, and to work to heal God’s heart. As a Unificationist we have the best kept secret and from Kaeleigh’s talk tonight at staff night it really made me realize just how important it is that I share this with others because God needs me to and the world needs to know and God deserves to be loved and healed. God can only truly be happy when everyone can come back to him and the only reason I have this deep connection is because of the knowledge and truth True Parents have shared with the world. In the end they are God;s physical manifestation so they can understand God in such a deep and unique way. OH man I hope one day God can trust me enough to truly show me his heart and that I’ll be mature and strong enough to handle it. 

On another point bruh I can not lie PROVIDENCE IS ON FIRE RIGHT NOW!!!! I mean its just s crazy the world is responding in such a unique and beautiful way to True Parents and seriously what a freaking time to be around to really be able to see this. It’s seriously amazing!!! Wow Heavenly Parent you must be so happy right now. 

To close I hope that as we prepare to take on the workshop that we can do it with a heart to seek to understand God and True Parents. The fact that we actually have the opportunity to see True Mother during this workshop is seriously a once in a lifetime opportunity and I’m grateful that er get to do this as a workshop and as a community and as young people who can truly bring joy to Mother and God. Its just crazy how real this workshop is becoming. 

On my drive home today I started listening to this podcast (Sara I’m actually hooked) but basically one thing that was brought was gratitude and how there is no joy with out gratitude. Which I was like AMEN! But the the speaker, Breneé Brown, explained how unfortunately in our life today joy is actually one of the scariest emotions. (Huh?) Basically she was explaining that when people experience joy they often will ask themselves but what if something goes wrong, or life is going to good right now something bad might happen. And the solution to that is practicing gratitude. If we can develop the heart of looking for things to be grateful then our mindsets change from being worried for the future to focused on the present. To connect this back to the mission statement, I think that a lot of times we can get caught up in thinking about the future and how we want to change it up or change ourselves. Which is GREAT. We need to have goals and grow. But we can’t forget to find gratitude in any day and situation we can be in. There’s always something to be grateful for even if it’s just to be alive. In the end I think that’s a way that we can have gratitude for our roots and for true parents, for being grateful for where we’re at since we wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for them. Sorry this is kind of all over the place and I had an awkward meeting with some first gen that was kinda weird and a little negative so it put me in a weird place I think that’s why the podcast stood out to me so much more.

Today was actually a beautiful day. Seriously I think the best part was getting to spend time with some friends m. I haven’t just hung out with friends in so long and I got to have Hochmuth sandwich today! (Omg please don’t tell them I said that Lolololol) haha I high out with Serena before DP study and then after DP study hung out with Gabby and we ended up having a really deep talk lol which is why I’m home so late and doing this so late.

Today was a honestly really nice day. Especially this morning and this evening. I think someing that I’m grateful for that I have because of our roots is THE FUTURE! Lol yea that probably makes no sense. But I guess what I’m really excited about is that we, young people, have the opportunity to take the best of our movement and of first gen’s experience and hopefully really inherit the heart BUT WE CAN GET RID OF THE TRASH!!!! Okay controversial (why am I like this?? Oh well keeps life spicy) but like unfortunately maybe I’m the only one who feels this way but I think that there’s a lot of amazing (mostly amazing I would say) qualities and heart that I really want to inherit and I feel is our responsibility but there’s also some things that I think I really want to change (like I’d say 10-15%).

I think that we as the next generation of this movement have a lot that we can offer to the future but we really need to be able to work together and love each other and support each others ideas and visions. But we also need to learn from the elder generation since they definitely have some good knowledge and wisdom that we’ll never have (well until we’re like 70) and I think making sure we stay future focused and do everything we can for the generations after us, we can help our decedents so much more. This is kinda all over the place but I’m just genuinely really excited about everything happening in our movement and in our local church right now. And I’m so pumped for the future it’s going to me A M A Z I N G!

Amen praise the Lord thank you Jesus and Heavenly Parent and True Parents.

YES! I love this condition sorry to all the haters but there is just something so great and beautiful about reading everyone’s post in their own voices lol its great. 

Today during the ride home from youth group I was reflecting a bit on True Mother and just how freaking AMAZING she is. Seriously that woman don’t ever give up and she invest everything into what shes doing. Like right now as I type this she is at a rally in Cambodia. LIKE WHAT THE HECK??? She was just in Albania I kid you not three weeks ago. And just attending a bunch of rallies and big events in Korea this last week. THIS WOMAN CAN NOT BE STOPPED!!! 

But I guess on a more serious note, she got sick recently and people were afraid when she was speaking that she would faint, so shes seriously giving everything just so that she can bring joy to God by restoring the world. I am just so amazed how much she does, and then at her age? Yea goals AF I can not lie! But with everything she does she does with a grateful and loving heart. Her thoughts are never about herself, she thinks only of the people that she is helping, in the same way any mother cares for her children. 

I guess what I am really grateful for is True Mother of course, but for mothers in general. They do everything for their kids with no complaint no matter how annoying or difficult their child may be. I am also extremely grateful for my own mother and for everything she does for me everyday. I am also so greatful to have all of this incredible love to stand on as a foundation for my own life and for my future marriage and family. 

I think one of my greatest hopes in life is to be able to make True Parents, and my own parents proud by inheriting the heart of all of my Mothers, and really loving people, not just my own kids but all people as my own family. I’m also grateful to be able to practice this now with our own kids in youth group. 

Another week has come and gone! It’s crazy to think that the rally is over and now the next “big event” is the workshop. Ahhh and I’m happy you guys got your teams too! It makes the workshop feel so much realer lol!

I wanted to reflect a bit on something that’s been on my heart recently. I feel like there has been a lot of division and pain in our church recently. Of course the big things like sanctuary and stuff like that but the things that really get to me is the division/disunion in our community. Today’s Sunday service was kinda sad. After reflecting and talking to Kaeleigh a bit tonight I feel more , idk what exactly but I guess conflicted. There seems to be a huge g a p between 1st and 2nd Gen. or young and old.

All around the country today commmunities has PSWM WS and Rally testimonies. We were supposed to have it today to but it didn’t happen. Idk it kinda sucks. I would much rather hear about someone’s experience then watch a power point. Idk it just makes feel kinda desperate. Like how can we get more people, especially young people, coming to church more.

I know going to church service doesn’t make you a better person or idk anything like that but it’s a chance to connect to the community. I mean that’s why we have Sunday service, to get inspired and re energized for the week and to see our friends, family. It actually really bothers me idk it feels like I need to do something but idk what.

Man I have like this desperate feeling that won’t go away. Maybe God is trying to tell me something. I think I need to pray about this a lot more.

Lol I feel awk ending this condition with that reflection but it’s honestly how I’m feeling. I’m super grateful for you guys and I’m grateful for all of the effort and sincerity you guys are giving. This workshop is something most kids look forward to the whole year. I hope you guys recognize how amazing you are and important you are for these kids. The wouldn’t be having this experience if it weren’t for YOU!

Hope you guys have a great week connecting to your teams!!!

Man Bobo you gave a great talk!! I wish I had my notebook out to take notes!

Bobo gave a talk on “how great thou art” (since it’s our theme this month) for Dash and it was sooo good!! It really made me realize that I need to start changing the way I treat myself. It’s interesting because I feel like this theme kinda goes with “Peace start with Me”. But in order to have Peace in yourself you need to love yourself, respect yourself and accept yourself.

One example Bobo gave was he compared the beauty of flowers to the beauty of Christmas lights, they are totally different but still beautiful. Idk I thought that was such a good point. Like we each have our own unique beauty and gifts and we’re all beautiful in our own way. It idk what it’s so hard to reverse this and say this about myself. I always feel like I’m a 3-4 out of 5. Like I always feel like I could do more, be more, give more, etc. and I always feel held back because of that. But if I really want peace in the world, in our community, in my family, then I gotta start by having that peace with myself, and see myself the way God sees me. Regardless of what other people think of me, how does God see me? Who does God want me to be?

Anyway after Dash I had like an awkward car ride home some I was felling kinda ehh but just by reflecting on this I feel more powerful and more centered on my purpose and hopeful.

Thank you so much Bobo and the Dash Squad!

I’ll make this short since it’s super late since I ended up talking to Jesun for like 1.5 hours but like I’m really grateful. I love that kid so much. He literally has so much potential it kills me sometimes.

I feel like I talk about Jesun like once a year and always at this time, like the week we do this condition lolol but anyway we had a good talk that I think actually connects a lot to the talk Luke gave tonight. We all know what it’s like to be free, the feeling of no worries no hiding, just being able to do anything we want, or feel is right. (Principled and with responsibility and all that) but why the heck do people continue to do things they know are wrong or aren’t helping them??? Ugh it makes me so sad like literally some times the answer is so clear yet we don’t do it. Like our actions are so different from our will. I see this in my life too. It’s like I know what changes I need to make to become a better person yet like .. I don’t.

I’m still working to understand this better and I’m not sure how this completely relates to TP’s vision but I I think that if we and I can figure out a way to truly express our freedom and be able to accomplish those things we know we need to do, and want to do then we can become happier and better people for our families and for God.

Today was a nice day. I got to spend some time with my mom and I got to watch some of The Secret documentary (yes I was procrastinating)

Anyway this documentary is all about the Law of Attraction. I didn’t really know what that was tbh but once I started watching it talked about how basically the universe works based on your mindset, so if you think negative things negative things will happen to you because you are attracting that, but if you think positively then you’ll attract positive things. It was a really good film and it had lots of good point. I only got to watch half since well I wasn’t supposed to be watching it in the first place. Anyway it got me thinking a lot.

Is this true? Does it work? Is this principled? But God doe? Do I agree?

I ended coming to the solution that idk if this is true but I think that if I were to live my life in this way, then my life would be better. Not based on if it’s true or not but how I live my life.

This is a similar answer to when people ask me about my faith or why I believe. No I don’t know everything about our faith or the DP. There’s some stuff that I struggle to believe in or I don’t understand and even don’t agree with (okay not that much but still). I believe that even if I get to heaven and everything is wrong or heaven doesn’t exist or idk I’ll still be able to live a great life by following True Parents and believing in God. It’s what Faith is all about right. And in the end that’s kinda like the secret, if we make the choice to believe in something then naturally the universe (or to me spirit world and God) will work to bring it about. But only if we truly believe.

Wow time is going by so fast!! I can’t believe it’s already Wednesday!

Today was a great day!! I kinda used today to rest/catch up on some messages and stuff I’ve been slacking on. And started to think more seriously about the matching.

Pretty meh day.... until DP study.

Man we really gotta make time to work on our spirit body. Like it’s so important to make time for HDH or prayer or anything. Anyway after DP study I had some time to talk to Gabby.

Lolol low key probably most of you now but I’ve been pretty unsuccessfully-not really trying to get matched for like the past 7 years (Nov. 15th 2011 is when I signed some application stuff) lolol rip AF cuase I’m no where near where I want to be and never ever did I think I would still be single/never actually in a process with anyone until now. Like dang. It’s super depressing at times and it kinda kills my confidence. Anyway today a lot of my thoughts were centered on the matching. Maybe because of this significant date idk but I’m actually really grateful for not being in a process/matched. I’m greatful for the opportunities I had to really develop my faith and my self before I involve someone else in my life. I’m grateful for the realizations and learning I’ve been able to have. I’m also really greatful for supportive parents who, even though their struggling in this process too, understand my heart.

I’m just really grateful for the matching process in general. I’ve been able to really protect my heart though all these years by working on my faith and becoming the best possible future spouse I can be. I still have a lot of work to do but I’m grateful for my time being single and all the blessing God has given to be during this time.

I think that if there’s anything I stand by (well I stand by lots of things but ya know what I mean) it’s the matching process. The idea of including your family and loved ones in the process of finding your future spouse is genious! They know you better then you know yourself. And they always want the best for you. And to be able to get to know each other in such a safe environment where the physical stuff isn’t included is also genious. It makes it so that once you are blessed and that deep level of commitment and trust has grown, you can enjoy the physical stuff in the purest way God intended. Anyway idk I just love the matching process. Even though it isn’t over for me LOL I’m just grateful for where I’m at.

Today was a pretty chill day. I had a meeting this evening and cooked dinner for my family.

(This is kinda all over the place so be warned lol that just how my thoughts were today)

It was interesting because I was pretty reflective today. Idk I did a lot of thinking I think because of the WS everything we talked about/did started sinking in more.

At one point today I was thinking about Sara’s post yesterday and what I could say if someone ever challenged me about my faith. It got me thinking (lol thanks Sara!).

When I think about this faith and all the battles and mission TP’s were trying to accomplish I think most of it was solely on helping people become better people. I mean at the core of everything.

At the WS we had Uncle Mark Abernathy (omg his accent is amazing) speak on his perspective of TP’s as a Christian. He genuinely loves True Parents and the blessing. It’s pretty crazy. Anyway he talked a lot about Jesus too.

Okay this is where everything connects:

I think people can become better people by becoming like Jesus. Of course TP’s too. But when talking to Christians I see this disconnect to Jesus heart. If that lady that was saying she didn’t want to hear TM really practiced being like Jesus she would never have left. Jesus would listen to anyone. Even if there was someone who preached about something evil Jesus would still listen and try to help them. It hurts me for some reason when I see this happen. Then I started thinking about role models. Why do we have them? It’s because we look up to them because we want to be like them. And how to we become like them? By doing as they do, following in their footsteps. It’s one of the ways you show someone you love them.

I think this is one of the most important things God wants us to do. To be able to become like Jesus and become like True Parents. Of course this is no easy task. And since we’re not at their level of heart we’re bound to make mistakes. It’s what we do after those mistakes that matter. Do we give up or do we get back up and continue on the path?

Anyway those are my thoughts for today. I genuinely think if I can use TM or TF or Jesus as a model of how to live and how to love then man that’s the ideal world right there.

Wow it’s currently 1:47AM and I just got back from NY. (Lol this still Counts as Monday since ya girl was driving and super busy all day lol rip AF)

Hmmm okay so today was definitely one of the best days of my life. Lol I have lots of good days but today truly was amazing to me. I had so many awesome experiences today and I can only say thank you to God and True Parents for giving me an incredible community.

Today started off with some reflection time since I had to drive alone from UTS to the coliseum. It was nice to have some peace since this whole weekend has been so busy. It was nice to be able to connect to God on a personal level.

Later we gathered again and I was able to connect to my team for the last time. I love those guys so much. Being able to be a team leader again really envigorated my passion for youth ministry. I miss being able to have a team and a partner. They really helped me feel God’s love on a family level.

The rally was so much better then I expected. Idk why but God gave me so many amazing experiences. I got to touch the hand of the lead singer of a hip band (it was super awkward though since well I’m awkward so naturally he went for a High five and I went for a handshake and yea...) also I was able to go on stage (in the back lol) with my girl Yolanda!! It was so fun. Then at the end of the program I was walking and then I turned around and True Mother and Sun Jin Nim we’re RIGHT BEHIND ME!!!!! Lololol I almost died!! Sun Jin Nim said this is one of the youth participants on Generation Peace Academy (Lolololol rip AF) but she told Mother about me (well who she thought I was.. AWK but a blessing still lolol)

Anyway I really felt God’s love at a national and global level. I also felt True Mothers love for America and how important she feels we really are.

Lol sorry I️ had to lololol

Man today was really an awesome day but super jam packed and I️ had a lot of deep thoughts through out it. More than I️ will probably write because as you can maybe tell I’m super duper exausted.

If there’s one word to describe how I️ am feeling it would be blessed. I️ started off today pretty alone. I️ left Philly this morning before anyone woke up and hopped in my car and drove for two plus hours. Usually I️ use that time in the car to reflect but I️ think because I️ was tired I️ was pretty brain dead most of the time. As soon as I got to church though I️ just felt so happy to be home. When I️ saw everyone practicing “I’ll make a man out of you” it was just too good. Then I️ had two meetings which also went pretty well!

Later I️ had a really nice talk with Sara. I️ was reminded of just how deep her heart is for the kids in our community and youth ministry. When she was sharing I️ could really feel and see how much God really trusts and loves Sara. I️t also reminded me of how God also is working through me. At any moment I️ can be a Chanel for God to work through someone but in order for that to happen I️ really need to be in communication with God. Which is harder than it sounds, especially when your tired and are dealing with your own stuff. But when you think about God deals with the most dramatic, tiring crap in the world, and he’s able to push past anything to talk to us or encourage us or remind us to be loved.

Anyway this whole day as reminded me a bit more of the life purpose I️ made for myself in Korea in 2015. To bring joy to God and others. It’s simple but it means a lot to me. I️ want to be someone that can tell God don’t worry you can trust me I️ got You!

Wow today was a loooooong day!!! But it was an awesome day!!!

I️ feel like I️ got to experience different aspects of God today.

I️ ran my first 5K today. Lol I️ actually haven’t done any running in over three weeks so it was actually a lot harder than I️ thought it would be. I really feel God wanted me to push myself to show me that I️ am capable of doing something that I️ really didn’t think was possible. I’m also greatful for the chance to do something with my Dad since he runs 5K’s a lot. I️ normally don’t push myself much especially physically but I️ know that God intended for us to use our bodies to grow and become stronger people.

After I️ went to philly to spend some time with Karen so that we could make teams (lol their really great!) honestly it was a really nice experience. We did it a lot faster than last time and I️ feel like we both felt really good about them. I️ hope and know that God will work through these teams to give the kids and you all a great experience.

Wow today was a long day! Well not really the day but a long evening. We had youth group! It was lit!! I’m super excited for Sunday service like it’s actually going to be the best I️ really hope I️ can go and be there the whole time.

It was weird towards the end since I️ had a pretty weird conversation with one of the kids. It was one of those conversations where you know the other person isn’t really listening to you but just trying to get their point across? Idk if that makes sense but after that I️ got to talk to Cecile and it really lifted my spirit and energy since I️ was at a weird place! Thanks Cecile you are truly such a beautiful sister!

My drive home I️ was just talking to God and praying (since my brother was sleeping) and I️ was just thinking about how everyone is on their own course and that all I️ can do is love people and not judge them, but I️ don’t have to believe in their beliefs or change my beliefs to accommodate them. There’s a difference between loving someone and loving someone’s ideals. To love someone doesn’t mean you have to change yourself. Ultimately helping someone feel loved and listened to is all I️ can do and I️ think that’s all God wants me to do.

I’m supper tired and tomorrow is going to be a looooooong day (lol I’m running a 5K in 8 hours lol I’m sleep) but I’ll end with this quote from Maya Angelo that I️ think sums up my thoughts for today: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”.