IkeaTheMan

*guy who has repressed every feeling he's ever had* yeah I'm just really good at rolling with the punches I guess haha

Hey darling come here. I promise it’ll be okay.

i love you tumblr user isuggestforcefem

can i say something. for years i thought the joke of the song short skirt/long jacket by cake was that he wanted a woman who was hung like a horse. like i thought when he says jacket it was a last-second fakeout because he very obviously meant to say cock. and the rest of the things in the song were just her personality and interests. which were secondary to her awesome penis

scrubbed the bathroom floor this morning. this sense of virtue and industry will last me easily into next week.

some of you would thrive in a monastery

my friends jerk off to more avant-garde concepts than your friends do

if you are reading this i want you to stop for a moment and imagine a crab

stares at you unblinkingly with my big haunted eyes the entire time you're trying to have sex with me

warm baked goods are insane. something so beautiful and almost maddening about absolutely tearing into them when they’re fresh. feeling warm all over after. I really do get vampires for real

“the vampire connection/mention was a jumpscare” Do you know who i am .

shout out to the artists who's "art studio" is just their ugly ass cluttered bedrooms. those aesthetic art studios in instagram with hundreds of perfectly organized copic markers are not real it can't hurt you

One of the worst feelings in the world: when you are just desperate, like claw-your-own-skin-off desperate, to create, but the only thing that even vaguely appeals to you to work on is a nebulous half-feeling that might be dreamily related to some half-formed notion of a concept. I must! Make! No thing! Only make!

Everything is boring. All activity is meaningless. I understand why Sherlock Holmes did cocaine.

I am a friend to all cats. Yes even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

"He would NOT fucking say that" does not apply to yoda, who could plausibly say anything