myrtle the turtle fan club president

Nightwing, landing on a rooftop where Red Hood's speaking to one of his subordinates: yo, Hood, what's going on?

Jason: hey. just getting the report for that secret shopper thing i was gonna do with the Wayne kids.

Subordinate: yeah... uh, why are Bruce Wayne's kids taking part in this again?

Jason, without missing a beat: because non of their neighbours need their laws mowed and Brucie says it's important for kids their ages to start learning the responsibility of having a job. anyway, Damian was up tonight, right? who was he buying from, 'cause i already know they failed.

Subordinate: yeah, Rick let the kid buy from him, so he needs to be punished i guess. bought two eighths of weed and an ounce of coke without Rick even blinking.

Jason, frowning: yeah, call that guy up for me to 'speak' to-

Jason:

Jason: wait Damian bought what?

Subordinate: ...two eighths of weed and an ounce of coke?

Jason:

Dick: what's wrong?

Jason, shooting off a grapple: that little shit only gave me back the weed-

~

Jason: *crying with laughter in the middle of the street*

Dick, landing nearby: ...you ok Hood?

Jason: *wheezing*

Duke, faintly, from Jason's phone: ITS NOT FUNNY.

Dick: what's happened?

Jason: Duke- *wheeze* Duke was supposed to do his secret shopper assignment tonight, but he didn't read the memo properly and tried to buy from a group of four of my guys as Signal instead of himself,

Duke: -SHUT UP JASON.

Jason: *still struggling to breathe* so he- so he rocked up and asked to buy as Signal, and my guys all assumed he was arresting them for possession,

Dick: oh my god.

Jason: they dropped him everything they fucking had and bolted, and now he's panicking on the other end of Crime Alley because four peoples' entire product inventory is too much for him to carry in one go and he's scared of leaving any behind for kids to wander across, so he's- *collapses into more laughter*

Dick, in awe: he's just stuck guarding it?!

Duke, from Jason's phone, incredibly distressed: THE RATS ARE CIRCLING IN. I'M NOT USUALLY OUT THIS LATE. SOMEBODY NEEDS TO COME AND FUCKING HELP ME-

Jason: *loses it*

~

Dick: hey, Tim did his secret shopper thing tonight, right? how'd that go?

Jason: *head in his hands*

Dick: ...did the guy fail?

Jason, muffled: no.

Dick: then what happened?

Jason: i had him try to buy from the same guy as Damian, to see if he'd 'learned his lesson', and he refused to sell to Tim point blank.

Dick: ok...?

Jason: but then Tim got offended that he'd sold to Damian and not him, so he pulled a gun on the guy and robbed him instead.

Dick:

Dick: the fuck did he get a gun from-

Jason: i don't fucking know Dick.

~

*Dick and Jason getting food on patrol when Steph calls Jason*

Steph: so i did the thing and it didn't work but i don't think it didn't work because i'm a kid.

Jason: ...what do you mean?

Steph: well i walk up to these two guys and ask to buy, right? and they say sure, what do you want? and i go 'four', and these guys say 'four what' and i'm like ??? the fuck do you think? four drugs. and-

Jason: *puts his head in his hands as Dick chokes on his hotdog*

Steph: -they look at me like i'm the fucking idiot, like, you should know how to count if you're gonna be a drug dealer, it's not like you guys have cash registers to help you out, right? and they start arguing with me and telling me that clearly i'm already high—which, fuck you guys, my makeup is awesome tonight, i do not look like i did it while high, how dare you! so i said maybe they're high and i should call their boss and snitch for stealing his supply, and they were like 'nuh uh blondie, nuh uh!' all mocking and shit, so i kicked one guy in the balls and the other guy grabbed me and now they won't let me leave until i prove that you sent me.

Jason:

Dick: *crying*

Steph, brightly: so yeah, if you could come pick me up~

Like a dating simulator, but nobody involved is actually attracted to each other.

Riz Gukgak is the son of The Right Honorable Pok, Lord Gukgak of Vuorinen, a commoner who became a life baron via service to the crown. Upon Pok’s death, Riz and his mother lost their newfound wealth, but kept their social connections. Sklonda is past marrying age and in ill health. Determined to make a better life for his mother, Riz decides to marry a noblewoman… which is complicated by his own lack of interest, social skills, and money.

the two that I see get the most complaints when changed for fics or whatever are Riz being aroace and none of the Bad Kids dating within the group. and like, I get it. the ace spectrum is chronically underrepresented in media, so it can feel yucky when people take one of the very few explicitly ace characters we’ve got and change that. and I’m always the first to complain about there not being enough non-romantic relationships in media! especially m/f ones.

in celebration of Chinese new year and the amount of mahjong I played this week, I present the photosynthekids and how they play the damn game

riz: gets rlly into the statistics and strategy and is lowk a lil too into it

fig: keeps trying to recreate the mahjong scene in crazy rich asians

Gorgug: somehow collects all the flower tiles like the lucky charm he is

Kristen: keeps asking the person next to her to feed her

Fabian: accidentally mixed up the 南 and the 西 tiles

compared to the rest of the crew maxwell objectively lacks in whimsy. but you have to remember he comes from a completely whimsy-less environment. wanting to adventure at ALL is whimsy to an unreasonable enough degree that it gets him berated all the time by his father. the gotch patriarch represents a definitively "realist" point of view that adventuring is a reckless, childish, dangerous endeavor that yields nothing of value--specifically money, thus anybody who chooses to do it is a fool. maxwell's position is having to, within this point of view, defend WANTING to go on an adventure. he has to insist that adventuring IS something, of value, that it can accomplish meaningful things, that it can be not only a viable but a PREFERABLE option, in the eyes of cold, hard reality, and of specifically also his father. this i think is what really colors maxwell's relationship with adventure.

now murph is a plot hound and he plays such a natural straight man that its easy to forget that max genuinely wanted to be here so much that he betrayed his family to do it. but his comparative lack of whimsy when combined with his straightforward methodology is, to me, in itself representative of just how much it means to maxwell that he's on an adventure. drawing from my own feelings here, to come from a whimsy-less, whimsy-dismissing place and want whimsy to be reasonable, to be the objective right choice is a search for an affirmation that justifies you being in the place you so sorely want to be. when you come from an environment that values and are the kind of person yourself that values the best most reasonable choice, you dont want to have to sacrifice an obviously better option in order to choose "adventure" because you want it to be able to be represented BY the best choice otherwise there's always going to be a reason not to choose it. if you walking up to directly ask about a piece of information you need in order to gain more information is not adventure that means adventure is a suboptimal choice. that it is defined by being lesser and worse and there's a you shouldn't ever go on an adventure.

Mordred Manor! (with close-ups under the cut)

edit: i just put up some new drawings on my ko-fi, so if you wanna print this out as a poster or something, you can find it there at full resolution in the 'Misc Art' folder! :) (personal use only!)