letting it go

I'm really scared that my schizophrenia is severely impairing me.

I don't think anybody I know understands what its like being homesick for more than one place at the same time. It tore me apart and i didn't know what to do.

Is it neglect when your support system isn't a support system?

I needed a little extra help today

I'm fighting a lot of anger. And I think about being spiteful all the time. But that's not what i want.

Here's what it comes down to. I don't care. I don't care that I'm at work crying. I don't care that nobody will to talk to me, just about me. I don't care that I'm not getting better. I don't care that I didn't get the help I needed. I dont care what happens to me. The only thing that kinda registers is that, if I don't care, that really means nobody cares.

No one has any idea how much it fucks with me. I don't know what I did and I think about it all the time. What was I failing at so hard, that someone suggested I get tested for autism.

Sometimes my lifes hard to live because it's the same life I've lived