How to communicate not feeling heard in friendship F27 F26
Hi, this is my first time posting on here but I need advice on how to approach this situation. This involves me, F/27 and my best friend, F/26. So essentially, we like to send each other TikTokās or Instagram reels and weāll have rants about what we see and discuss things. For a while Iāve had some resentment building up because sheāll ignore videos/rants I send her and then a few days later or weeks later sheāll send me the same video I sent with a similar rant. If I bring up a video in public sheāll say itās one she sent me, even if Iād seen the video already or had sent it first but she ignores it. It makes me feel ignored and like she doesnāt care what I have to say, but she says sheāll see some videos from me sheās already seen and doesnāt think itās necessary to respond and miss out on other videos I sent that she hasnāt seen. Whatās kinda been my breaking point is a video I sent months ago, I was really annoyed by the video and sent it to her, sent her a text ranting about the video and even brought it up during a call, which she didnāt really participate in but Iāve discussed this topic multiple times. Today she sends me the EXACT video I sent her with a similar rant and honestly I feel so frustrated. I feel like she doesnāt listen to me or care about what I say. I know thatās not 100% true but I feel at my whits end because Iāve discussed how I go out of my way to make sure she feels heard but I donāt feel she does the same. Iāll also mention that I started doing what she does, ignoring videos Iāve already seen but thatās annoyed and upset her. Iāve also resorted to responding showing Iāve sent the video how many days or weeks ago. I know Iām probably the problem here, I grew up in a household where I was constantly spoken over and ignored. This does trigger my childhood wounds and besides this sheās a great friend but how do I move on from this? Do I sit her down for another conversation or is this something I just need to work out in therapy? It shouldnāt be a big deal but Iām feeling really strong emotions regarding this and would really like some advice.
What's your social circle look like? How many other friends do you ever talk to?
You've already tried talking about it, and that was a pretty fruitless endeavor, and while therapy could be beneficial there's no halfway decent therapist who is going to agree with the goal "I'd like to have more patience to nurture one-sided friendships that make me unhappy". I think this would be easier to put up with, if you believe the overall friendship is worth it, if you had a robust social circle for your needs and didn't have to rely just on one person to feel heard.
