Pretty Little Baby

I’m so fucking hard to love

It’s weird to grow up in a family where you know you’re loved but you don’t feel loved. And then later in adulthood you understand how almost impossible it seems to cross that distance and let yourself experience closeness, how otherworldly love feels now and how love feels unbearable at times. You flinch when someone tries to wholeheartedly love you. And over and over you see so clearly how you cannot be loved unless it's from afar and love is mixed with that familiar sensation of distance and coldness.

Wow. Me to a T.

oh hey sorry I’ve been distant lately…. I’ve been really busy having a brain that is bad

THIS IS FUCKING TERRIFYING

No thank you.

The columns of smoke in the foreground are telephone poles boiling

This is way cooler to look at than it should be

World Heritage Post

being poor is traumatic. even if you’re not homeless or starving. never being able to get anything nice for yourself, never being able to go out to eat without feeling guilty, never being able to do anything fun that isn’t free, making you housebound in bad weather because you can’t afford to go to a cafe or a movie. it takes a toll. being poor under capitalism makes your life a waking nightmare. this post must be reblogged by everyone.

Addendum: If perchance you do scrape up the money to do something (say buy a computer or phone because you absolutely need the damn thing for work), you get shamed for doing so. “Why did you buy that expensive phone if you are poor?” I spent 20 dollars on it …. “What about that nice computer you got there?” I bought it six years ago, refurbished for about $250. “How about that big ole television you got there?” etc, etc, etc. No matter how poor you are, so many people think you should have less if you are “actually” poor.

There’s no two ways about it: poverty is violence.

Also, even if you get out of poverty, the scars remain in the way you handle your money, your carefulness, your frugality, your constant waiting for the day when it all gets taken away again. You need to have back-ups, contingencies, savings, even at the cost of being kind to yourself and treating yourself in the here and now.

Healthcare. :v