State Of Grace

shorty still full of love but she’s ain’t soft anymore b

i don’t think i’ve ever been loved as hard as i love

By now you’ve probably realized that I’ve stepped outside of your door into a world where I don’t end up with you. And nothing was harder that having to drag my feet places they didn’t want to go. I never wanted to live and breathe in a world I didn’t get to share with you. And in the aftermath of everything we were, I woke to the realization that I could have never been meant for you. After all our hands never fit together the way I wanted them too. And you never cared enough to read my poems, not even the ones that were about you. At the end of it all, you kept your word in saying that you had not yet learned how to love anything. I should have believed you then. I should have left the morning after you decided my body should come without emotional baggage. And yet I did not. I let you touch me in all the ways you wanted. I became woman enough for you to touch and sunk back into myself on the days when you decided I was too hard to love. I tried to make myself smaller for you. I became less vocal, started to shift my weight towards that of a woman who gave everything to a man who didn’t deserve any of it. And I am sorry for how much I gave to you. I am sorry for the way your bones crushed beneath the weight of all the things I wished we’d become. I am sorry for loving you at a time where it was not what your hands were reaching for. I don’t blame you for it because you were honest from the beginning about all of the ache in your upbringing and I should have listened. I should have hushed the voice of that naive girl who wanted to fix all you broken. Most of all, I am sorry for not leaving sooner. For trying to mold you into someone ready to commit. For trying to make you want the same things out of this as I did because it turns out- we were never on the same page. Your hands were just looking for a place to rest upon, they were never looking for a love to hold on to.

this is so beautiful & so relatable.

you can break and heal at the same time. they forget to tell you that.

not to be corny but if u get to see the person u love everyday i hope ur not taking it for granted

a concept: heavy rainfall when you’re tucked up in bed. like if u agree.