A Dash of the Took

i hate it when you're heating something up in the microwave and it starts to go snap crackle pop so you take it out but it's still completely cold. shut up then??

this 'being really tired after work' thing is really getting in the way of this 'pursuing my artistic hopes and dreams' thing has anyone else noticed this

what? oh sweetheart no, you're not weirding me out at all. you're weirding me in. keep talking, freak

adhd will get you thinking "i should make this doctors appointment" every day for 7 months and counting

none of us are making those appointments huh

This is why I have Calls Day once a month

wait you might be onto something with that actually

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

reblog to remind prev they're not a bother and their presence is wanted <3

Obi-Wan is like I got the kids in the divorce. They aren't even my kids. Or my divorce

van chapman grew up eating hard tack and salt beef. she married a chef. her family is cursed to die young at sea. she grew old with someone she loved and opened a pub. she wanted to send him home to protect him. he wants to stay and make her tacos.

Hehehehehe

Can I fucking help you?