sharpened by hate, strengthened by love

So this is something I should have done so long ago, I’m almost at my 500 followers, but better late than never. I know I’ve been lacking replies here, but I wanted to thank all those cuties that have been following me from the start and to those who arrived later as well. Thanks for giving me some of your precious time and for putting up with me and my crazy plot ideas! I love you all from the bottom of my heart, I really do! This place brings me many smiles and it’s all thanks to you guys! 

Here some special little beans I need to mention!

THE BABES

This is a “small” section for those who went over our rpers relationship and stole my heart forever

@nvpch​ - JFC you’re my oldest RP friend ever, ma babe, my partner in crime, my grumpy lil munchkin that I love with all my heart no matter how much time goes by. I’ve been rping for 8 years and I’ve been friends with you for 7– we’ve had up and down and fuck we don’t even RP much anymore (GUILTY ME!), but it’s so nice to know that I mean much more than that for you as well as you do for me. And even if the Atlantic Ocean decided to stand between us, our friendship and love if the bestest thing in the world! YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN SPECIAL TO ME!! I love you with all my heart Mariana, and let’s hope someday we have enough money to meet each other, I’ll seriously cry if we do!!! Fuck I’m being all mushy, I’ll stop now Hehehe ♥

@wickedxshadows - BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABE you are so damn special to me, like HOW DO I PUT THIS IN WORDS??!! We met what? Like not even a year ago right? Fucking hell, we’ve laugh and cried together and you are the most precious lil thing ever to me, not even kidding. MY PRECIOUS WIFEY THAT I WUV WITH EVERYTHING I HAVE! You have listened to me rant so fucking much and you have dealt with my silly ass more than anyone else Hahaha We are soulmates for life, cutie! You– You and I better meet someday, I swear I’ma hunt you down! PSA. #Wehavethecutestshipsever #Youkillmewitheverysingleoneofthem #Fightme #Fuckthepolice #Iloveyousomuch♥

@adolcscnt​ - HAHA! MY TURN! You thought you could be the only one gross? NOT– This kid right here guys, we met like over a year ago, and we didn’t even planned to get this close, but she stole my heart with her cuteness. The time we started bonding through our ship was amazing– we could seriously spend HOURS talking about Daehui, but most importantly, you’ve opened up to me even though I was a total stranger and at the distance you’ve let me be part of your life and I feel eternally honored because of it. I don’t think I could EVER grow more protective about you, for real. You’re my child, FIGHT ME, I don’t care– you are! I really wish I would be that girl you saw at school so you could run at me and hug me >.< You’re the cutest child ever and I just wanna squish your bunny cheeks! Ma’ love you lots Kei, never forget! ♥

@kaz0ku - LOOK– IT’S MY CUTE HAWAIIAN PRINCESS MAYA!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABBU!!!!! ♥ OuO We are so… I don’t even have words to describe us, so yeah– here goes my mushy message: You’re are seriously miss lil sunshine, you make me laugh and cry, when I thought I lost you JFC I was so fucking depressed, but I’m so glad we could fix things!! NOW YOU’RE STUCK TO ME FOREVER BINCH, YOU HEAR ME?! FOREVER!! I’m glad that I can call you friend and that you gave me the chance to step into your life, you’re honestly a very good friend, very special and dear to my heart, and remember..no matter what you Bubba is here to comfort you and your heart forever! I seriously love you so much, and differently from other friends, I think meeting you will be much easier in some future, so I really hope we can see each other someday! *HUGS HER SUPER TIGHT*

@diimented​ - HI! Hehehe I didn’t forgot you– wow we met over a year ago if I’m not wrong, but you’re one of those types of person I feel I’ve known for years! I’m totally comfortable around you and I love that even though sometimes we get busy and can’t speak, when we find the chance to do so again, it is like we never stopped talking. We can seriously talk and plot about pretty much everything, and the fact that you put up with 90% of my crazy rp ideas makes you and awesome RP partner to me, since not many are willing to rp what we do, so *puts a batch of ‘Favorite RP Partner’ on her* You’re seriously a precious lil’ bean and I love you a lot! I hope we can stay friends for many many years to come, even if we leave RP! Stay safe and don’t stress so much about school, you’ll do fine! I believe in you! FIGHTING!

@jessicastrung​ - MY PRECIOUS SMOOCHIE BOO!! I seriously love you! Over a year ago I met the craziest and most beautiful person! We RP, we stop and start talking about some random shit, you text me fucking drunk and it’s the most hilarious thing in the world, but please don’t hurt yourself while at it again! Hahahaha I hope you’re doing great and school is not stressing you too much, hm? YOU CAN DO THIS MUNCHKIN! *smooches* Love you, my queen!

@astrxyno - MY HUSBANDU!!! You are legit the only person that makes my knees weak (donttellmyhubby) HEHHEHEHE >.< You’re so precious to me, so so dear to my heart, whenever I see you my heart does a lil “!” You’re crazy, fun and weird as fuck because most of the time I don’t know how our conversations give such twists, but I love them. I love how well you understand me, and how willing you are to comfort my soul when this shitty krp world fucks me over and seriously one day we should do a hate list– I swear to the heavens we have a magnet not only for psychos, but for the same ones! We even share that! Hahaha I promise in my next life I’ll marry you girl, thanks for being such an awesome bestie! MWUAH!!! 💋

@mcgnetism​ - I was conflicted if I should tag you here or on the senpai list, because I honestly respect you so much as a writer that I was confused for a moment. But– I also love you tons as a person and even though we plot and plot and never actually complete a thread, I do enjoy talking to you and getting all the crazy ideas together. Also sorry to pester you so much with codes, you’ve saved my life more than once and I’m eternally grateful! You’re truly a senpai that I love! Hehehe

@spilledinnxcence - Sunny GTFO okay! I still can’t believe we even have the same birthday!!! I swear to god we were cloned and separated at the laboratory or something! We like the same things, we have the same birthday, we are like a pair of two puppies together and I truly love your friendship. We’ve supported each other through hard times and we have laughed together as well, so I really couldn’t ask for more! Mars loves you lots! ♥ #PeteChae4Life Hehehehe

@mxortise​ - I SWEAR TO THE HEAVENS YOU’RE HOUDINI’S GRANDCHILD!!! But I still love you!! ♥ I don’t even know how long we’ve been talking, almost 2 years…maybe? It’s been so long and even when you almost drop my ass, I still love you hahahaha JK! But for real, we need to seriously plot for once in a lifetime! I missed you so much and I’m glad I found you, so I could remind you how much I wuv you and how special you are to me cupcake! ♥

@lxtent​ - YOU CUTIE! Seriously, we’ve been friends for almost two years and I still owe you that reply (AND I SWEAR TO THE HEAVENS I WILL REPLY), but besides that is always so nice to talk to you and be all cute together. You’re seriously an angel, never change! You’re also an awesome Rper (Not that I stalk your threads or anything *coughs*), so it’s really an honor to know you and seeing you on dash always makes me happy!

@vnclie​ - I MISS YOU SO DAMN MUCH!!! I know it has been months since we last talked, but I was reading over my Eeru’s profile and I wouldn’t even have her if not for you! I’m so glad I met you and I miss our crazy plotting! I hope you are okay and I hear from you soon! ♥

taken from the comic book series written by neil gaiman

“the price of wisdom is above rubies.”

“when do the nightmares slip out into the daylight?”

“it was a dark and stormy nightmare.”

“I left a monarch. yet I return alone…hungry.”

“never trust a [insert word here]. he has a hundred motives for anything he does - 99 of them, at least, malevolent.”

“I would have dreamed of you…if I could dream.”

“the real problem with stories: if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death.”

“little ghost, get out of my way.”

“I’ve learned from my mistakes, but I’ve had more time to commit more mistakes.”

“I suppose there are worse endings.”

“it is a fool’s prerogative to utter truths no one else will speak.”

“I only have two kinds of dreams: the bad and the terrible.”

“the price of getting what you want is getting what you once wanted.”

“it’s part of growing up, I suppose. you always have to leave something behind you.”

“nobody looks up in the sky anymore.”

“everybody has a secret world inside of them.”

“it is sometimes a mistake to climb, it is always a mistake never even to make the attempt.”

“sometimes you wake up. sometimes the fall kills you. and sometimes, when you fall, you fly.”

“without dreams, there could be no despair.”

“it is unwise to summon what you cannot dismiss.”

“never trust the storyteller. only trust the story.”

“destiny is blind.”

“remember how hard it was for me to leave, and that it was not your fault.”

“life, like time, is a journey through darkness.”

“I like the stars. It’s the illusion of permanence, I think. I can pretend that lives last longer than moments.”

“when something ends, there’s always something left over. a story, or a vision, or a hope.”

“I don’t recommend revenge. it tends to have repercussions.”

“honesty is a somewhat overrated virtue.”

“I suppose the point you grow up is the point you let the dreams go.”

“the things we do make echoes.”

“all journeys leave marks on us.”

“have you ever been in love? horrible, isn’t it? it makes you so vulnerable.”

“when there’s no hope, you might as well be dead.”

“they will haunt your sleep until you die.”

   “I T ‘ S not like I can cry.” A loud sigh echoed through the emptiness around them. Only the sound of the water below made its way to the boy’s ears. For once, he wished the world to be deafening quiet so he could forget about the reality constantly drawing him back in onto the ground, above the waves, waiting for a day to jump. A shy glance to the side, however, gave away who truly was the one in pain.

“You’re hurting more than me.” Ilsung bit down on his tongue to trap any other words from following out. “Should I walk you back home? It’s getting late.”

 In a moment of his weakness, Nari should’ve been the one with the strong front. Someone who could reassure the other and make him feel better. Instead, she chose to cry. Weak willed and unable to resist the tears that just keeps pouring. It was pathetic, she was pathetic.

But there was no denying about the fact that she was hurt. The ache in her heart doesn’t cease (not that it would ever stop in the coming years as she recalls this moment), and Nari could only stand idly by. Looking at her own two feet as she tried to control her emotions. “N-No,” She manages to force words out of her mouth. 

“You’re the one with the bruises. I should be walking you home instead.” She says, as a way for her to do something for Ilsung instead of having it the other way around. Though quite honestly, her words did sound really stupid.

himself. her. them.

twilight glimmers above him for a moment before morphing into a dark ceiling; air thick with humidity winds around him like a bothersome blanket before being replaced with a manufactured cold air running from a humming machine in a gentle stream; cement dirty from years of trampling shoes stares back at him, then dissolves into a darkened bedroom.

he’s ping-ponged between worlds — his and hers and then only what can be described as theirs. falling night and stark darkness join without hesitation, humid air and artificial wind graze his heated skin all the same, cement and wood flooring intertwine like unusual siblings. this not him nor her, but us. 

in the fray of sensory overload comes a voice — jun …

he tries to pack up their connection in a box and store it deep, deep in unspeakable recesses of his mind, somewhere beside the box of The Fire Incident. blood loss weakens him, however, and he cannot find it in him to conjure the vigor necessary to lock her out. the denial requires a great deal of effort when his body is without bullets, and in their presence the task is impossible.

pressing a stiff hand against the most pronounced of his wounds, he manages to maintain a semblance of the cold indifference often directed at her, ❛ go away. i can handle this. ❜ of course, the truth is that he cannot handle this. his colleagues are on their way but his blood, seemingly aware of the incoming brigade, works against him, seeping faster and faster until its crimson fingers touch the cement below.

and in the midst of her sleeps, victoria wakes up involuntarily. panting like a sick dog as she tried to bounce back from what jun had gone through. her legs trembles, and her body was coated with sweat, but the woman doesn’t break under the weight of the situation. her body may be weak at the moment, but her mind wasn’t, and victoria would be damned if she didn’t try to save the other’s life. they may be thousand of miles apart, but certainly, there must’ve been a reason why the younger had reached out to her (or so she assumes).

“don’t you dare,” victoria growls back, showing a certain front that screamed assertive for the first time ever. her appearance of a push over was shed, as she wasn’t going to have any of it from jun. not here, not now. “i will not let you die on my watch. so don’t turn away from me,” she says with a tone that leaves no room for discussion. 

the raven head didn’t know if it was a sense of responsibility from her daily profession that urged her to save the male, or was it because she truly cared for his well being, but one thing is for certain. victoria needed to stop the bleeding. swinging her legs, her feet stood on a different ground now, one that was unfamiliar and cold. different from her bedroom.