don't harass anybody seen here

Shinigami eyes was always going to turn out this way. A user submitted system with no moderation or oversight is bound to be manipulated by bad actors. That’s just human nature atp.

But the specific way that it’s been weaponized against anyone who doesn’t fall in line is insane. People will be marked red for:

- Acknowledging that exosexism exists

- Acknowledging that trans men experience a unique form of oppression

- Are a trans woman or trans feminine person who doesn’t go along with any of this

As a result, you have a system where people are being marked red for doing things like talking about their lived experiences as a trans man, and people are being marked green for calling trans men whiny transandrocunts for daring to speak up about any of this. Or better yet telling us to kill ourselves- a tumblr classic.

1. Your body is not your own.

1a. Your body is a site for other’s desires.

If they want you to be beautiful, it is cruel of you to deny them that. If they want you to be feminine, it is cruel of you to deny them that. If they think you should reproduce, it is cruel of you to divest yourself of reproductive duties.

1b. Your body is owned by the state.

Reproductive laws that can affect cis women also affect you, but you cannot weigh in on them, because you are not a woman.

Anti-trans laws affect you, but you must not bring this up; you are never the “real” target, even when you are, because you are not “really” trans.

When the legislation talks about “protecting” your fertility, you should feel lucky to be safeguarded from yourself.

- - -

2. Your experiences are not your own.

Your childhood does not exist. You cannot claim girlhood if you are a man, and you cannot claim boyhood if you did not grow up within it, and no other visions of childhood may exist. Your history, however you define it, is fundamentally incompatible with who you are.

Forms of sexism which are aimed at women, by a binary logic, cannot be aimed at men or mascs. If your experiences contradict this, either you are invalidating your identity, or you are appropriating womanhood.

It is your duty to blithely dissociate yourself from any trauma patriarchy may have inflicted on you. Men cannot be affected by these things even if it happens to them personally. A “real” man must be stoic and uncaring.

- - -

3. You are a “default” body.

You are to be assumed affluent, perisex, binary, and passing, with no legal or situational barriers to medical or social transition, and no reproductive concerns to speak of — unless your nonconformity can be used to dismiss you.

You are assumed to be able-bodied, sane of mind, white, and thin — unless your mental health or appearance is good for mockery.

You are to be treated as essentially cismasculine. Being treated as if you are cis is a compliment, even when it is erasing your lived experiences, and even if it is known and true that transfems have their own unique struggles from cis women too.

- - -

4. You are an “aberrant” body.

4a. Your body is a site of fascination. You (are presumed to) have a gestative capacity, and a fun extra hole. These traits are relevant when others assess your attractiveness and their kinks. They are not relevant in the context of your health. You’re a submissive little bottom, right?

(Your body is something to conquer and claim. This may be done to emphasize your femininity, deny your androgyny, or defang your masculinity.)

4b. Your body is a site of disgust. Any steps you may take to masculinize yourself are “ruining” your “female” features, regardless of any joy you personally take from the changes, and regardless of if you engage with medical transition or not.

(You are killing the woman you are supposed to be. Stand trial.)

4c. Your body is too unattractive to be sexually violenced. It doesn’t happen. When it does, you have anatomical privilege, because you are (presumed to be) in possession of a vulva, and victims with those are of course always believed. But it doesn’t happen, because you are essentially a cis man, and of course men don't get raped.

(It is not possible to be targeted for this violence because you are transmasculine. It is always misaimed violence, intended for someone else. Apologize to her for taking up her space.)

4d. Your body is a proxy for other’s ideas about activism. Womanhood is good, and manhood is bad, and things in-between are uncomfortable and hard to classify; therefore, a detransition back to cisfemininity would be a preferable state of being, wouldn’t it?

(Your transition is at odds with good feminism.)

4e. Your body is a joke. Men don’t menstruate. Men don’t gestate. Men don’t lactate. Men can't have breasts. If the suggestion sends people into hysterics, you must take it lying down.

(Remember; comedy is subversion, and you are an “abberant” body.)

4f. Your body is a hypothetical and not a lived reality. If men could menstruate or gestate, that would fix patriarchy. It would not result in men being denied at the door of the gynecology office, surely.

(To entertain your existence is a rhetorical inconvenience.)

4g. Your body is a source of put-down. You are a cunt, a pussy, a fembrained bitchmoid — and it isn’t sexist to refer to you as such, because you are a man. Your disinclination to be reduced to bioessentialist biogotry is simply proof that your masculinity is fragile. It is not proper for you to object to it, even when it is the same rhetoric spewed by patriarchy itself, and even if it would be equally galling to say to a woman, cis or trans.

(Have you not considered that your trans body is privileged under cis patriarchy?)

4h. Passing is universal to all transmasculine bodies and all life situations. Closeted, clocky, queer, or femme trans men and mascs cannot exist, and are not subjected to the same violence as women or other queer men. Legal gender markers don’t matter. Medical access isn’t a concern. People from your past cannot possibly be vindictive enough to out you, because queer or not, you have male privilege.

(Have you considered that you simply aren’t trying hard enough to pass?)

- - -

5. If you are inadequately masculine, pre-transition, nonbinary, or bi-gendered, you cannot “really” be a man.

Remember; you are a lost little girl when you need to be talked down to.

Remember; manhood and womanhood are diametric opposites, exclusive states of being.

Remember; poverty is not an excuse.

- - -

6. If you are inadequately feminine or too masculine, you cannot “really” be queer.

Remember; you are a “default” body.

Remember; you are essentially cis.

- - -

7. If you are too assertive or too unwilling to serve as a punching bag, you cannot “really” be a feminist.

Remember; men cannot be feminists.

Remember; men cannot need feminism.

Remember; your masculinity is most readily acknowledged when it provides a rhetorical threat.

- - -

8. If you really insist on your masculinity, then it must be in service to others. You owe them labor, defense, money, and deference.

You are not owed equality or reciprocity, because men are responsible for patriarchy. You are on the hook for the patriarch’s debt, and you are presumed to share his wallet.

(A man is a protector and a provider. I thought you wanted to be a man?)

- - -

9. Your interest in your own autonomy is indistinguishable from power-grabbing.

Your self-determination and self-advocacy aligns you with patriarchal interests, or is a sign that you are too battered by patriarchy to self-determine in the first place. Someone else must decide these things for you. Someone else must speculate on your motives. You do not get to speak for yourself.

- - -

10. Your inclusion and representation is not important.

10a. When you notice your absence from culture, art, and storytelling, others ask; why do you not simply project your experiences onto cis men? Remember, you are a default body. Surely you are different from other queer people who need direct representation.

(When you try to do that, you are classically fembrained and illiterate for thinking a given character could have transmasculine subtext or themes.)

Projecting onto cis women is akin to killing them.

Why are you not satisfied with mpreg fanfic?

10b. When you make your own art and stories, you are playing with dolls. It is unimportant, juvenile, and easily dismissed much in the way that people discuss teenage girls who act as culture-makers.

(If transmasculinity is not present in the world of art, it must be because it has no artistic merit.)

- - -

11. Your erasure is proof that you have nothing to offer.

The muffling of violence done to you or your brothers is proof that no violence occurs in the first place.

The muffling of you or your brother’s contributions is proof that none of you contributed in the first place.

The removal of your brothers from the historical narrative is proof that they didn’t exist, or that they never stood in solidarity with other feminists and queers.

Silence is proof that you need not speak.

- - -

12. Denying any danger that you may be in is affirmative to your masculinity, because men cannot be harmed.

There are no statistics that say otherwise if we never read them.

There are no patterns of abuse if we never speak of them.

There are no dead if they are recorded as femicides.

There are no victims if we do not speak their names.

- - -

(If someone could do alt text that would be amazing!)

Here are some of my favorite quotes in text:

"i would say that i become a reflection of whatever dance i find myself doing with whomever i am falling in love with in the moment." (22)

"...who is now entering the garden where he/she, you/me, are inseparable." (27)

"Priest in their religion, priestess in ours." (74)

Oh I see you little racist chunky Dutch deer.

I remember seeing a post from presumably a trans radical feminist talking about the poor representation of trans women in porn compared to “TME porn.” Of course, we all know what these people mean when they say TME. It’s a term designed to put trans men/nonbinary people into the category of cis people, people who have systemic power over us, while having plausible deniability because “it means cis people too! I could totally be talking about just cis people!” But I would like to talk about trans men in porn, and the sexualization of trans men and the fetishes forced onto us.

For starters, the vast majority of transmasculine representation in porn is of white, skinny, fem/androgynous trans men. They are often pre/non op top surgery, and are almost always pre/non op bottom surgery. The vast majority of porn featuring trans men involves trans men having their vaginas penetrated by a penis. Even in porn where a trans man tops, the strap on is never realistic (can’t be having people imagining a trans man with a dick, of course, otherwise they wouldn’t be good little sex objects) and there is always some sort of focus on the trans man’s vagina at some point in the shoot. Same with anal, there will typically also be vaginal penetration at some point.

If you are a trans man who isn’t white, who isn’t skinny, who is more masculine than androgynous hairless twink with a flat chest, post op top surgery and especially post op bottom surgery, or don’t have any interest in having your vagina touched, you will not be represented in the vast majority of porn featuring trans men. This is also true for T4T porn of trans men. It’s not exclusively when trans men are with cis men or cis women.

I post in transmasculine porn subreddits. I am an exhibitionist, it’s a major kink of mine (among other things). I am someone who also doesn’t draw any focus on my vagina in my posts, I am anal only, and I definitely don’t fit the beauty standard for trans men. I am a fat, hairy, bearded trans man who can’t be easily put into the category of “hairy tomboy,” especially given that there’s not that focus on my vagina. This is mainly in transmasculine porn subreddits. I’ve said on my other account on here, but I’ve very much enjoyed posting in gay bear porn subreddits. They have all been very respectful, and any time I’ve experienced any transphobia, it’s been removed, and the vast majority of interaction that I’ve gotten from the other bears there have been positive, because those subreddits are specifically for people who look like me: fat, hairy, bearded, masculine men. Most people don’t care about what I have downstairs, especially seeing as I don’t use it to begin with. When I said that I was getting bottom surgery, I was celebrated for it.

But the majority of interaction that trans men get in transmasculine porn subreddits is content surrounding vaginal penetration. And that’s just the non-kink focused subreddits. When you get into subreddits surrounding trans men with kinks, it’s a whole nother thing.

One of my biggest issues is with the detrans/misgendering kink. I don’t necessarily have an issue with trans men who either use the kink to get money because they are doing sex work (you obviously have to do what you have to do, and we’ll talk about trans men who have to do sex work in a minute) or even trans men who actually have those kinks. However, there is no way to have a conversation about the way that trans men are fetishized without mentioning how many people have the detrans/misgendering kink for trans men. When you look at transmasculine porn subreddits that center kink, the vast majority of interaction is on posts where trans men market that they have a detrans/misgendering kink. It’s not only cis people who partake in this kink. Even outside of reddit, I can’t look at a lot of transfem sT4T domme’s NSFW accounts because the majority of their posts about trans men are detrans/misgendering content. “Fakeboy” content is a big part of the tumblr transmasculine kink scene. I am someone who is a sT4T male sub with a femdom kink, and I can’t relate to most other trans people who post about that kind of deal because a lot of it focuses on detrans/misgendering trans men, and the ones that don’t focus on trans men who use their vaginas during sex. If you find something without that, it’s a trans man who’s a top/dom, and that’s great and is their right, but that’s not me either.

I often find social media NSFW profiles that center around wanting to find transmasculine sexting partners specifically to misgender and detransition them. It’s marketed as a kink, but at some point it’s hard not to at least think that a lot of the non-trans men who post about this kink so frequently just genuinely want to detransition and misgender trans men, and are just calling it a kink. Even other trans people. I don’t really trust any non-trans man who has a misgendering/detrans kink for trans men, even if they’re also trans. Even in the trans community, we are expected to conform to femininity to make other people more comfortable, so forgive me for being distrustful.

The forced impregnation kink is another thing. I have my own kinks, but it’s another thing when it’s forced onto trans men who have no interest in it. Breeding is hot, but we have to be sensitive to the group of people who are both disproportionally affected by forced impregnation in order to detransition them, and the group who specifically has very complicated feelings surrounding pregnancy. I’ve talked about forced impregnation before, and I’ve had several, at least 100 trans men express on a post that I made some time ago that if they ended up pregnant and couldn’t abort, they’d commit suicide. Trans men who want to get pregnant, are pregnant, or who have been pregnant are valid and deserve the space to talk about their experiences, but we can’t erase those of us whom pregnancy is one of the worst things that they can think of happening to them. I had an ex girlfriend try to babytrap me, and she stopped when I said I was sterilized, but it’s still very disturbing to think about. This was the ex girlfriend who repeatedly raped and tried to kill me. The cis man who correctively raped me wore a condom when he did it.

At one point, I got a private message from another trans woman. She was only 18, I’m not that upset with her for saying this because she was young, but I had just had a hysterectomy, and she said that it was “sad that [I] got a hysterectomy,” presumably because she wanted to get me pregnant. I don’t really feel any type of way about pregnancy as somebody who definitely can’t get pregnant on account of not having reproductive organs, and I did/do have a breeding kink, but that message really upset me, because who says something like that? That a trans person’s gender affirming surgery is “sad” because you wanted to fetishize them pre op? It’s one thing for cis people to say inappropriate, transphobic shit like this, but other trans people should know better. It’s so much worse coming from another trans person.

The primary issue with people pushing the forced pregnancy kink onto trans men (besides that a lot of trans men are uncomfortable with that) is that pregnancy is often used as a form of control. Pregnancy leaves you physically dependent on the people around you, and having a child leaves you financially dependent on the people around you. The person that you are often dependent on is the person who impregnated you in the first place. This is something that often happens to cis women in abusive relationships, but it has different implications for trans men. Trans men who are forcibly impregnated by someone who wants them to detransition, and are dependent on that person, often do have to detransition. Pregnancy is often a dysphoric nightmare for trans men, and having to detransition and be dependent on a transandrophobe who impregnated you is a fucking nightmare for all of us I’m sure. When you think about that, the forced impregnation kink with trans men is a lot darker than you might have thought. And trans men can absolutely have that kink and that is their right, but forcing it onto trans men, even just sharing your fantasy to a nonconsenting trans men, is sexual harassment and a threat.

Back on trans men forced into sex work, a lot of them are forced into marketing off the detrans/misgendering kink for money. I’ve seen an account from a transmasculine sex worker, whose bio was something to the extent of “he/they unless you’re paying me, then you can use she. It doesn’t matter if I’m dysphoric about it.” I’ve seen a trans man make a series of photos that I was really into, but he misgendered himself in it. The description was “don’t misgender me please, this was a photo series for work by a paying client.” I’m sure a lot of trans men in sex work market off the detrans/misgendering kink wouldn’t do so if they would get enough money otherwise. Beyond that, I’m sure a lot more of them would get top surgery, and some of them aren’t even on T because they can’t transition because they rely on their pre-medical transition body to get money. When we talk about survival sex work in the trans community, the discussion is very focused on trans women. Which makes sense, trans women disproportionally are made to do survival sex work due to the inherent transmisogyny in our society. But trans men are also forced into survival sex work on account of being trans men, and that does need to be talked about. And trans men also have to degrade and misgender themselves for money. Trans men also have to use slurs and derogatory terms for money. And it doesn’t get easier because they have a vagina.

I also think it’s important to mention the amount of transandrophobic TRFs who post things with the effort to silence trans men on our own struggles and oppression, and then turn around and post that they want to fuck a “tboy” or a “boypussy.” I remember seeing a post on tumblr from a very notable transandrophobic TRF trans woman, that was something to the extent of “idk why TMEs hate me so much, I’m trying to bridge the rift between us in bed.” It had several reblogs. I happened to see it from checking a “transfeminist” account for transandrophobia, which I obviously found. I was so disgusted and uncomfortable that I never screenshotted it, I didn’t even talk about it for at least a week to anybody, because it just left me with a sinking feeling. This particular trans woman is a VERY big name among transandrophobes and TRFs. She’s posted horrible things about trans men, and she obviously fetishizes trans men from the things that she’s said to me and my transmasculine friends. It’s one thing for somebody to fetishize trans men when they don’t have multiple social media accounts dedicated to talking about how much they hate trans men, but she does. A lot of people say that all TRFs/transandrophobic trans women are T4T lesbians, or lesbians in general. This is not true. Many transandrophobic trans women are open to dating trans men or even exclusively date trans men. This is predatory behavior. A trans person exclusively dating trans men isn’t inherently predatory, that’s just called being T4T, but it’s different when the person doing it hates trans men and views trans men as sex objects.

I saw a screenshot from instagram, from presumably a transandrophobic trans woman. The post was parodying “nonbinary people don’t owe you androgyny,” “trans men don’t owe you masculinity,” ect. The bit about trans men was “trans men owe the dolls dinner dates.” Again, posted by somebody who does not believe that trans men should have the language or even ability to talk about our own struggles and oppression, believes that trans men need to shut up and take TRFs on dates. I saw a post several months ago from a TRF saying that a trans man who makes porn is a “model trans man” because he doesn’t talk about trans men’s issues and just does porn. Essentially that he was “a good tboy who knows when to shut up and suck dick.” They went on to call trans men who were upset and uncomfortable with this blatant fetishization and objectification of trans men out on their “dry pussies”. TRFs and other trans people who seek to silence trans men and then fetishize us are a real problem in the trans community. Being T4T isn’t inherently safer than dating cis people for trans men, especially with the state of the trans community and the ideas that trans people have about trans men. I’m obviously T4T but I have experienced violence and other forms of harassment from some of the trans people that I’ve dated. I’ve experienced even more from trans people I’ve encountered on the internet and in IRL trans spaces.

I also think we need to have a discussion about the way that trans men who are tops/doms are treated by the people that they have sex with. Trans men who top/dom are essentially seen as pleasure dispensers. They are expected to make their partner cum and then not receive anything in return. I was sexually abused by both of my subs/bottoms before I stopped topping/domming, and while one of them was of course the cis man who correctively raped me, one was my cis girlfriend from college who wouldn’t take my “no” for an answer when she tried to make me do sexual activities with her when I didn’t want to. I was a highly dysphoric detransed lesbian who detransitioned because of the transandrophobia I had experienced since coming out, and she would make me dysphoric on purpose to “brat” with me. If I ever raised my voice after telling her “no” several times, she would get sad, and I’d have to comfort her, and then she’d do it again. She’s a teacher now. Trans men who bottom/sub are expected to just be holes for people to stick their dicks in. People, and women especially, in the queer/trans community refer to us as being like “cis men who can make women cum” and “if cis men had empathy,” then we are treated with none of the care/tenderness that we provide to the women in our lives. Trans men are expected by the trans/queer community to give up our bodies and our safety for other people’s pleasure. We are expected to be good sex dolls and “protect” the trans/queer community while not being protected when we need it, are abused by the people within our community, and actively being silenced when we talk about our needs from the community and the oppression that we face. We’re human meat shields, whipping boys, scapegoats. We are expected to bear the sins of cishet men by people who don’t have the systemic/social power to oppress/discriminate against cishet men, we are punished for things that disproportionally affect us as trans men, we are silenced when we speak up about this injustice, and then we are expected to be the “protectors” of the trans/queer community, while benefitting from none of the protection that we are forced to provide to others that could not care less if we live or die. If we say that we need to prioritize trans men, we are called misogynists and “tMRAs,” by people who totally aren’t TERFs because they only hate trans men, and being a transmasculine exclusionary radical feminist isn’t really trans exclusionary because we’re not trans in the way that trans women are. Trans men have the highest risk of sexual abuse in the trans community at around 50%, and there are probably even more that don’t disclose. We are sexually abused by the people we date/have sex with, and then they turn around and say that trans men are “very well represented” in porn because they think all trans men are skinny white fem/androgynous twinks who let people fuck our pussies. That’s all they see us as.

(link to the original post below and an Internet Archive link here)

pretty standard post- hey, wait a fuckin second

WAIT JUST A FUCKIN SECOND I KNOW THAT HANDLE

(CW For physical and mental abuse. The descriptions are not particularly graphic, to be clear, but better safe than sorry)

I've been sent some information, and given that the allegations against Tara are very serious, I would like to start with a pattern of behavior rather than the accusations themselves.

Consent

"Against CC, Against Free Love: Toward a Dangerous Freedom" is an essay written by Tara and posted here. I'm only going to show an excerpt, but please read it for full context.

The legitimacy of Tara's claims here rest entirely on her use of hyperbole to make consent out to be something no one expects of it. Literal "documentation", "checklists", etc. are ridiculous claims on their face, which I'm sure is obvious to Tara as well. The purpose served by the exaggeration is making "consent culture" appear ridiculous, cumbersome, inhibiting to "intimacy", and therefor reasonably optional.

The highlighted claim is essentially "consent offers safety but removes passion" for those who don't speak faux intellectual. I don't have any interest in kinkshaming people, this is not framed as a statement on kink, it's framed as broadly applying to "intimacy" as a whole- so just all forms of sex. Decrying the practice of consent as a whole is pretty alarming.

The claim could be made that this statement is about kink, and forms of consensual non-consent. Even if this was the case (kink is not mentioned once in the entire essay) then it's also at best a complete misrepresentation, and at worse willfully removing the things that make cnc ultimately consensual. Cnc still requires consent via prior agreement (no, not necessarily signed, Tara) and safewords. Without these it is rape. Tara's statement on consent makes no room for such things. It makes no room for consent as a whole. What kind of person would advocate against consent?