ien writing reference

How to see whether a Chinese handmade teapot is well done or not - quality of the spout is an important standard. 

and i had the WEIRD thought like “what if spock just straight up called jim ‘water’ or some very logical and bland shit like that”

but then i was thinking. and like. that would actually… kinda??? make sense??

because water is one of the necessities for all life (okay not ALL, but most) and spock comes from VULCAN, which is a fucking. DESERT PLANET. so water is something that’s probably pretty cherished? and also in pon farr, vulcans are like “i burn” and all that dramatic shit. and like. water…… puts out fire?

so basically if a vulcan called you “water” they would be calling you

a necessity in their life

highly cherished and valuable

Mon-masu - Potable Water (”masu” is water)

Savas - Fruit (generic)

Yem-tanek - Nutrient

Kap-yar - Wheat

Kap - Bread

Sazh - Vegetable (generic)

Rau-nol - Shelter/refuge

more along the lines of “honey”:

Slor-tukh - Sugar

Kasa - Fruit (specific) 

Tufeen Hushani - A wedding cake similar to carrot cake. I can’t find another word for “cake” - but I’m just going to pretend that Hushani is.

Prusah Kisan - Fruit Custard Pie (Tart) - Same hat. I’m going with Kisan for pie.

K'vass - A non-alcoholic drink that intoxicates Vulcans.

Bar-kas - Spice (generic)

Pir mah - Strawberry toast

Kreyla / Kreila / Krei'la - Biscuit (eaten for breakfast)

Ameelah - Fried bananas (dessert)

and the closest I could find to honey:

“Replicated food is not as good as real food.”

In a blind taste test, nobody, but nobody, can tell the actual difference between replicated food and “real” food. (Think back to our youth and the New Coke vs. Pepsi taste tests, only worse.) BUT, humans being What We Are, the human Starfleet members insist that “real” food is better than replicated food for reasons including, but certainly not limited to:

1. Hipsters have survived even into the 24th century. “No, you just can’t make good curry from a replicator! You gotta toast the spices yourself right before you cook it or it’s not the same, maaaaaan”

2. All military and para-military members everywhere always grouse and bitch about the food and sigh over What We Get Back Home. It could literally be the same replicator recipe you use at home when someone has to work late or just doesn’t feel like making the effort to cook, but people are people everywhere so they’re going to complain about it.

3. Humans tend to think we’re smarter than we actually are and we can totally tell when something is going on; as a result, human crew members insist they can “taste the difference” because their minds are making shit up, as our brains do.

4. One could presume that, generally speaking, a replicator recipe programmed into a starship or base replicator database would come out the same every time. This is perhaps the 24th century equivalent of mass catering. (I won’t try to account for the nuances of replicator tech that might allow for variances, and leave aside for the moment the fact that some people probably tinker with the standard “recipes” to suit their own taste.) The single thing that would be different in this case about “real” food is the variation, since of course the “real” dish will have slight variances every time due to the whims of the cook, the oven temperature fluctuation, freshness of ingredients, etc.. And since we are an easily bored species who really, really hates boredom, I bet people would jump all over that to lament the lack of “real” food when they’re out exploring strange new worlds and new civilizations and whatnot. (This is the only reason I can think of that might hold up to scrutiny.)

The replicator or replicator + holodeck combo can’t recreate the experience of cooking, nor can it recreate the experience of being cooked for. And that experience makes food taste better. 

Cooking is what makes us human. No other species on this wet rock cooks its food–only us. 

First: if you’re making lamb stew, or phở, or mole, or curry goat, you spend hours puttering around the house doing chores in a cozy sweater, periodically petting the cats and playing with the kids, waiting an anticipating the hour in which you get to eat the soup. All the while: your house smells like lamb stew, or phở, or mole, or curry goat. 

You get a tamale from the replicator: it’s pretty good. You wish it came with a green olive with the pit still in like the kind your abuela puts in her tamales. 

You get a tamale from the tamale lady on the way to work on a clear, crisp fall morning. It’s so hot from her steamer that it nearly burns your fingerprints off and it smells divine; you use all of your Spanish to tell her how good it is and how grateful you are that you pass her every day. On a whim, you buy 30 more tamales to share with the office; they’re still warm at lunch and they taste like friendship. 

You get a tamale from your abuela. It’s Christmas Eve, your entire family has spent the last seven hours making them, your tio Juan just busted out his tuba and it is definitely too hot outside for the fake snow  your baby cousins have started throwing at each other in between begging to open just one present and if you don’t hurry up you’re all going to be late for mass. 

The tamale tastes like home. 

You get a tamale from the replicator. Its neural network reviewed your order against every known tamale recipe and variety and decided that your addition of “green olive, pickled, pit in” was a mistake, and omitted it. 

Your tamale tastes like homesickness. You ball-up the corn husk and 

Second: The replicator is probably not accounting for regional variations in ingredients for its base foods. 

The ingredient library may have jalapeno, red; jalapeno, green, jalapeno, (color slider), (heat slider). It probably does not have: jalapeno, Hatch new mexico, USA, earth, sol system; or jalapeno north face Olympus Mons Mars, sol system. Replicator Parmesan is very likely a scan of a Parmesan and doesn’t duplicate regional variations between, say, a Parmesan from Mantua vs a Parmesan from Parma. 

Did your grandmother use san marzano tomatoes that were actually grown in san marzano in her red sauce (, canned, peeled, whole in juice)? Sucks to be you, the replicator scanned a hydroponically grown plum-type tomato which environment was carefully controlled for optimal nutritional value and “pretty good” taste. 

Is the replicator cilantro a kind bred or genetically engineered for maximum palatability across the broadest spectrum of individuals? Is it missing the gene that makes some people taste soap when they eat it? Is that gene the one that makes it taste good to you, so that the replicator chimichurri is always missing something, some particular specific type of freshness, a unique vegetal taste that you can’t put your finger on, and it’s not important enough to track down when you just like the chimichurri you make at home, from cilantro your grew yourself, much better? 

Third: The recipe database is probably sourced from hundreds of thousands of recipes written over centuries’ time – and then averaged using a combination of median and modal averaging to come up with something that’s Pretty OK to most people, but which is going to leave others wanting–no matter how much they tweak it. 

And then you have many, many people in a state of, “yes but I like my/mom’s/spouse’s/grandparent’s/aunt’s/uncle’s/best friends better”. And that’s OK.

I mean, really. Think about this for a minute.

Fourth:

You go to get a cup of tea from the replicator, because everything is terrible. You know in the darkest depths of your soul that everything will still be terrible with a good cuppa in your hands, but it will be terrible and you’ll have tea, which is a marked improvement. 

The replicator gives you a glass of brewed, iced sweet tea. 

It takes you three more tries to get a cup of hot earl grey. You decide you’ve finished pressing your luck with this positively infernal machine today and don’t even bother asking for a lemon wedge. 

And that really makes you ache for something made just the way you like it, doesn’t it?

Also, it’s a government bureaucracy. We know there are variants, like 14 varieties of tomato soups, and different teas, etc. But each one is going to be programmed by a committee.

They’re going to determine the number of varieties to offer to cover there bases, then make an amalgamation of divergent recipes for each one, so it’s tastes like a middle ground of them all. So is bland and inoffensive. The common denominator.

Replicator food isn’t truly designed to replace real cooking, it serves the purpose of making food available to all, ending hunger and for Starfleet, making food storage and cooks obsolete.

Frozen dinners, MREs in the military, nutrition bars and shakes, etc. That’s what replicated food is. It’s not designed to be the best. Just to be good enough.

As to why some people comment on it and others don’t? It’s clear some have only ever had replicator food. Cooking seems to have become uncommon except maybe at restaurants (I’d imagine replicators at restaurants have the ability to program their own recipes) or with stubborn traditionalists.

And why not? If you can order a full course meal after a day at work or play with your kids instead of cooking for 2 hours, wouldn’t you? Look how much cooking has declined in the last few decades. How many things a week do you have takeout? Or if you cook, it’s a prepared meal.

As for taste, bananas of today are different than the ones of 70 years ago. Give it a Google. The original taste was different and is been lost. Then there’s tomatoes at the grocery. You can get ones my mom used to call “hot house” that are pretty bland. Or super tasteful ones from local gardens. Mass production can alter quality and taste, and you could go your whole life not knowing until you taste the real thing.

So a lot of people who’ve only had replicator food have no idea what real cooked, grown stuff tastes like. Once you do it’s a revelation and you can’t go back, so you complain.

The aroma!

Smell is a part of taste.

- hijabis get really excited over pretty scarves - they also like to collect pins and brooches - we get asked a lot of questions and it can be annoying or it can be amusing, just depends on our mood and personality and how the question is phrased - common questions include: - “not even water?” (referring to fasting) - hijabis hear a lot of “do you sleep in that?” (we don’t) and “where is your hair?” (in a bun or a braid, usually) - “is it mooze-slim or mozzlem?” (the answer is neither, it’s muslim, with a soft s and accent on the first syllable) - “ee-slam or iz-lamb?” (it’s iss-laam, accent on the first syllable) - “hee-job?” (heh-jahb, accent on the second syllable)

- “kor-an?” (no. quran. say it like koor-annn, accent on the second syllable) - people tend to mess up our names really badly and you just get a sigh and a resigned nod or an awkward smile, maybe a nickname instead - long hair is easy to hide, short hair is harder to wrap up - hijab isn’t just covering hair, it’s also showing as little skin as possible with the exception of face, hands, and feet, and not wearing tight/sheer clothing - that applies to men too, people just don’t like to mention it ( i wonder why) - henna/mehendi isn’t just for special occasions, you’ll see people wearing it for fun - henna/mehendi isn’t just for muslims, either, it’s not a religious thing - henna/mehendi is not just for women, men also wear it, especially on their weddings - there are big mehendi parties in the couple of nights before eid where people (usually just women and kids) gather and do each other’s mehendi, usually just hands and feet - five daily prayers - most muslim kids can stutter through a couple verses of quran in the original arabic text by the age of seven or eight, it does not matter where they live or where they’re from or what language they speak natively - muslim families tend to have multiple copies of the quran - there are no “versions” of the quran, there has only ever been one. all muslims follow the exact same book - muslims have no concept of taking God’s name in vain, we call on God at every little inconvenience - don’t use islamic phrases if you don’t know what they mean or how to use them. we use them often, inside and outside of religious settings. in islam, it is encouraged to mention God often and we say these things very casually, but we take them very seriously - Allahu Akbar means “God is Greatest” (often said when something shocks or surprises us, or if we’re scared or daunted, or when something amazing happens, whether it be good or bad; it’s like saying “oh my god”) - Subhan Allah means “Glory be to God” (i say subhan Allah at the sky, at babies, at trees, whatever strikes me as pleasant, especially if it’s in nature) - Bismillah means “in the name of God” and it’s just something you say before you start something like eating or doing your homework - In Shaa Allah means “if God wills” (example: you’ll be famous, in shaa Allah) (it’s a reminder that the future is in God’s hands, so be humble and be hopeful)

- If you want to write mostly irreligious young adult Muslims, it would be humorous to make them literally follow nothing about the religion except making them very averse to eating pork cuz it’s haraam. You have no idea how many Muslims I know who’ll party, get drunk, smoke weed, and engage in, ahem, certain activities, but the one thing they’ll refuse is to eat pork.

- While it’s true that we are very loose with the way we mention God at nearly every occasion, we never make fun of the Prophets, God, or generally the religion. We take the sanctity of the religion and its figures very seriously because it’s blasphemy to insult them. I’ve found it’s very different from the attitude that most Christians and christianized atheists have on their religion / the religion they were raised around (easily making fun of Jesus, the concept of God, making jokes like “snow is god’s c*m”)

- People get surprised when a non-hijabi girl tells them she’s very devout and practices often, Muslim and non-Muslim alike.

- Aunties are nosy and gossip way too much, even though that’s a sin.

- Most Muslims believe in djinn because it’s part of our religion, but this belief oftentimes seems or looks to border on superstition, and a common activity amongst Muslim kids, especially cousins, is to tell djinn stories like ghost stories.