“I simply am not there.”

“I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?”

“Hey, I'm a child of divorce, gimme a break!”

“Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It even has a watermark.”

“Well, 4 out of 5 doctors agree that I am actually insane.”

“Just because a girl knows how to imitate a woman does not mean she's ready to do what a woman does.”

“I am every little girl you ever watched, touched, hurt, screwed, killed.”

“I think I'll just Steve Jobs my way through life.”

“You cannot hesitate. The only thing worse than being incompetent, or being unkind, or being evil, is being indecisive.”

“You know, the thing about this town is, the sawdust smells fantastic. But you are still in a hamster cage.”

“I think most of this country's moral norms comes from weird old Puritan bullshit. A human life isn't some sacred thing. There's nothing holy about a dick and a vaj getting together and spitting out a little dude.”

“I'm not depressed, why do you always think I'm depressed? I'm just tired.”

“Why do you have to try so hard to seem crazy ?”

“You want to cry and smile, but instead you just stare and you can't do anything.”

“I wish I didn't care about anything. But I do care. I care about everything too much.”

“Like you care so much about what other people think, boy, you go around here kissing everybody's ass pretending like they're your friend.”

“So if this was a touching romantic story this is probably where a new feeling would wash over me and suddenly we would be furiously making out with the fire of a thousand suns. But this isn't a touching romantic story.”