TheOtherMe

When faced with an issue that has the possibility to occur, some people adopt the mindset as to that it has already occurred. For example, if someone such as myself has an incredible and irrational fear of flight, and I know I'm about to get on a flight, my mind adopts the idea that it already knows the plane is going to crash, and it functions accordingly.

I'm sure this is not the case for everyone, yet it still perplexes my why my brain works in this way. I am fully aware that worrying about something I can't control is completely redundant. Yet I still do it, and I apparently do it frequently. I have begun to construct my own hypothesis.

People who tend to plan ahead will also tend live ahead.

I have never really been one to plan ahead, but upon further inspection of my past I realize that I always have made decisions that are somewhat relevant to my future.  

How do we stop worrying about things we can't control?

"9 Worry-Busting Steps No. 1. Make a list of your worries. Identify what you are worried about, says Leahy. No. 2. Analyze the list. "Look at whether your worry is productive or unproductive," Leahy says. A productive worry is one that you can do something about right now. For example, "I am going to Italy, so I may be worried about making plane and hotel reservations," he says. "This is a productive worry because I can take action now by going online to make reservations." By contrast, an unproductive worry is one which you can't do anything about. "It is more of a proliferation of 'what ifs,' over which you have no control and there is no productive action that will lead to a solution," Leahy says. For example, losingsleep and worrying about whether or not you will get cancer is unproductive. No. 3. Embrace uncertainty. Once you have isolated your unproductive worries, it's time to identify what you need to accept in order to get over them, Leahy says. You may need to accept your own limitations or it may be a degree of uncertainty that you need to accept. For example, you very well may get cancer some day as no one really knows what the future holds. "Many worried people equate uncertainty with a bad outcome, but uncertainty is really neutral," he says. "When you accept uncertainty, you don't have to worry anymore. Acceptance means noticing that uncertainty exists and letting go and focusing on the things that you can control, enjoy, or appreciate." No. 4. Bore yourself calm. "Repeat a feared thought over and over and it will become boring and will go away," Leahy says. If your fear is dying of cancer, look in the mirror and say, "I may die of cancer. I may die of cancer." Say it enough and it will lose its power. No 5. Make yourself uncomfortable. "Worriers feel that they can't tolerate discomfort, but if you practice discomfort, you will accomplish a lot more," Leahy says. "The goal is to be able to do what you don't want to do or things that make you uncomfortable." Worriers tend to avoid new things and situations that make them uncomfortable, such as parties or public speaking engagements. The preemptive worry helps them avoid discomfort, but if you force yourself to do the very things that make you uncomfortable, you will rely less on worry as a coping strategy. No 6. Stop the clock. "Worried people often have a sense of urgency," Leahy says. "They think, 'I need the answer right now and if I don't get it then something terrible will happen.'" Look at the advantages and disadvantages of demanding such urgency. "Rather than focus on the sense of urgency, instead focus on what you observe right now," Leahy says. "Ask yourself, 'What can I do in the present moment to make my life more pleasant or meaningful?'" he says. "You can either focus your mind on getting an answer right now or focus on improving the moment." The latter is the better strategy. Take a deep breath, read, or listen to music to stop the clock and curtail your anxiety. No 7. Remember that it's never as bad as you think it will be. Anxiety or worry is all about anticipation. The 'what ifs' are always way worse than how you feel when something actually happens. "Worriers tend to worry about things that even if they happen, they can handle it," Leahy says. "Worriers are actually good at handling real problems." No 8. Cry out loud. "The emotional part of the brain -- the amygdala -- is suppressed when you worry," Leahy explains. "The emotion kicks in later with gastrointestinal symptoms, fatigue or rapid heart rate. Use your emotions; don't try to get rid of them because when you are crying or angry, you are not worried." No 9. Talk about it. Beside the cognitive therapy techniques mentioned above -- which can help change troublesome behaviors -- talk therapy can also help chronic worriers worry less by getting to the root of their issues. Often talk therapy and cognitive behavior therapy can work together, Taub says."

To start, I would like to have a word with feminists. Not to the ones who actually follow the definition, but to the ones that have become the mainstream. I don't like you, and I don't like how you would read my work, so please stay away, unless you have some form of constructive criticism.

Now, to the point.

When someone is faced with a fact that they know to be true, one would assume that the one faced with such would obviously and without hesitation acknowledge it to be fact and true. Through personal experience and the research I have done on theism, this is most definitely not the case.

If I have held onto a hope for my entire life, and were to suddenly have that hope destroyed by reality, I would do everything in my power to support my own hope. I would even go to the extent to defy the most basic facts of the universe.

This is most prevalent within children who have been brainwashed by their theist preaching parents. This is why religion has lived to long within the modern society. They are faced with facts, (although technically they are a theory, i.e. evolution, but one must remember that gravity is also a theory, so this is essentially not a valid argument) that counter their lifelong belief. Instead of changing their obviously flawed opinion into one that is based off of facts, they will fight with these facts till the grave. Interpretation becomes their main source of defense when presented with an argument.

Let's move on from the theistic topic, and into something more relate able.

Trust issues.

I am personal friends with many people who claim to have trust issues. Yes, some of them do, but I believe that there is always a reason for having such issues. I must admit some of my friends just say this for the attention and actually have no such issue. My reasoning behind this belief (which I think to be 100% true) is personal experience. One must be hurt in order to have a reason to fear being hurt. Someone does not develop a fear of a grocery store unless something bad has happened to them in one before. Bad example, I know, but you get the point. I believe not being able to trust anyone without reason irrational. If someone does not believe you when you say you love them, it is because they have been told this or something similar before, and had it only be a lie. Granted, how could they ever learn to trust someone again? Time. If you are the one saying "I love you", prove it. Don't let your words be hollow. Say it often and say it with assurance,

I am not a psychologist by any means, as I'm sure you've figured out, and I write posts that don't always have a definitive purpose.

I was never really one to be good at making decisions. Someone had once told me to flip a coin, and whichever side I hoped it landed on was the way to decide. I had originally laughed at their advice, not being one to care much about what happened in my life. It wasn't until about a week ago that I realized that the coin can show itself in many different ways. I'm sure we all know about the CEO of Apple Inc. who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness. To him, that terminal illness really made him able to realize who he needed and wanted to be. Those last few days he could have on earth were most likely the most real, important, and even possibly the most enjoyable days he had ever had. Only the most important things are what anyone would want to do when faced with certain death.

But let's step away from death and find another example that could be considered the coin. Let's say Tom has made a mistake. Tom does not know if he will be caught, or what the implications of his actions might be. Tom has to sit and wait till a previously determined date till he can find this information out. During this time, Tom sits in agonizing pain and regret caused by stress. He lives in fear that his mistake might change his life forever, even if the chances are small. He becomes paranoid and becomes slightly compulsive. Every detail he sees in the real world is, to him, an apparent obvious sign relating to his mistake. They are always negative, and not in his favor, these "signs" scare him. He is worried about how his peers and family would react. He knows it wouldn't be good. Sometimes Tom might even go to the extent of thinking that death might be worth it to escape all this pain and stress.

But what else does Tom think about?

Tom thinks about all the things he wants to do when or if his mistakes are not caught. Maybe Tom wants to be a writer, maybe he wants to be an athlete, maybe he wants to enjoy a specific meal that he previously had no idea how much he enjoyed. He begins to appreciate the little things, such as how the sun shines through his window, the way his cat loves to rub up against his leg. Tom listens to different genres of music, previously considered to be gross to him. He enjoys them, having not actually ever listened to them before judging.

Even in the presence of things he enjoys so much, Tom can not physically or mental function. He just wants this day to come and go so he can know if he can live his life.