Rage & Love

A praying mantis ghostwrote this

Please credit the actual photographer Tanja Brandt who took these beautiful photos of Ingo (the dog) and Poldi (the owl)!

america has a functioning democracy where one party tries to kill you and the only other party just campaigns around the fact that they aren’t the party that tries to kill you

all these fucking fools on my dashboard talk about how they love bats but only show pictures of fruit bats fuck you start posting pictures of all bats i can’t stand this fucking bat erasure

@smut-smut-in-the-butt

bats have the weirdest faces and i support them 100%

@okami888

looking at bats really makes you think about how fucking unimaginative Star Trek makeup artists are sometimes but also makes you weirdly appreciate Ferengi

More huge ears bats please, I love bats with huge ears.

wakey wakey eggs and bakey

but I’m a vegan

wakey wakey vegetables and sadness

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

please give us updates

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

op will not die of natural causes

he’s the mechanic he’s fixing it

*signs a legal document with a glitter gel pen*

Golden rule of thumb for art kids: reblogging Bob Ross will bless you latest work

i hate public bathrooms for all the obvious reasons but also because one time somebody in the next stall silently reached under and untied my shoe

You’d think it’d be 32 because he’s got a slight weight advantage, but 856 is the underdog.

but where’s my boy 480 Otis?

FUCKING U N I T

This is the only bracket anyone ever needs to care about all other brackets are cancelled.