I need a nap & a sandwich

Like to charge, reblog to cast

There are a lot of reasons to oppose monarchy but one of the most overlooked is that the king is always getting stuck in some kind of hazardous puzzle chamber filling up with gravel or lava or something. Do your fucking job man

the world gets a lot easier when you learn to be wrong without getting pissed or doubling down. saying, ‘you’re right, that makes sense, I was misinformed, thanks for telling me’ instead of going to war over something your ego’s latched onto will save you time, energy, and the embarrassment of sounding like a whiny little bitch

Nothing slapped my shit back into place like someone pointing out that the "genius gifted child with so much potential who got burnout and mental illness" is just the nerd equivalent to the jock "could have been a pro at sportsball if it wasn't for the injury".

I was born with a curse called ‘I want to know everything’

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

i enjoy that every single human’s reaction to penguin is unrestrained delight

And penguins lack large terrestrial predators, so their reaction to humans tends to be, “HELLO STRANGE GIANT PENGUINS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DO YOU HAVE ANY FISH?”

I will reblog this on my deathbed.

Please let him science 🐧

i think at least half of the million reblabs on this are from me