the queen is never late

If you aren’t that guy, then why project it? Why project you are that?! I don’t trust you, because you seem like that guy. Joke or not, coming from you, that tweet made me not trust you. 

I’m not projecting anything, dammit. You chose to see me like that. Everyone sees me like that manwhore because I’m not ashamed of the things I did and still do. I’m open and honest, I don’t care if people know too much about me. Now, if you don’t want to trust me, that is your loss. And if you say I’m not your friend, then I’m not. But I also don’t want to sleep with you anymore, Khalil. God, I don’t even wanna look at you.

It is a lie. I told you that I don’t trust you. And you do sleep around alot with alot of people. So…You are not eating the brownies. Get out now.

You know what? I’m done. I’m tired of being seen as the bad guy, like all I think about is sex all the fucking time, just because I got around a lot. You don’t know me, Khalil. Aspen, she knows me very well, she can say whatever she wants about me. But you... You don’t have the right to tell me I’m a bad person. That just makes you an asshole. So, fine. Do whatever you want, I am done. 

Is he wrong? It seems to me all that goes inside your head is sex. And I’m not judging, but I don’t think that’s how guys like Khalil go. Your jokes are not the bed, Nolan. You think you’re way funnier than you are. What did you say anyway?

Of course he is wrong. Of course I do wanna have sex with him, but if that was all I wanted, wouldn’t I have raped him? Instead, we just hung out a lot, we even slept in the same bed and nothing happened, for fuck’s sake. And then he comes to me saying I’m not a real friend. All I said was “Rude, i’m done with this conversation” because he didn’t want to fuck me. As a joke, obviously.

Well, that’s shit. What have you been drinking?

I don’t actually know. I just took a whole bottle of anything with me, because Khalil is about to kick me out, and ate a bunch of those brownies. Have you tried them yet? 

Well, you should restrain if you are lying. I think you should leave.

Except it wasn’t a lie. I think I should leave too, but my pregnant belly is craving for those brownies. This unborn child is already a pothead. I also think you’re being too dramatic, Khai.

Someone please get very heavily intoxicated with me tonight. I’m not certain how much more I can handle of this. Thanks.

I am already way ahead of you. Got you covered, mate.

Aw, babe, learn to carve a day out of the week just for yourself, okay? It’ll keep you sane, I promise. I’ve been in New York, visiting my brother and his fiance, getting a jump start with the wedding plans. We had dinner one night with his soon-to-be in-laws, it was dreadful. I hope that someday I’ll love someone as much as Vaughn loves his girlfriend, because she’s gotta be his soulmate in order for him to put up with that shit.

Oh, no, no, I’m already insane, it feels great. Well, that sounds fun. I don’t really like weddings, but it’s so cute when people love each other like that. And maybe, now that Beckett is gone, you will find your so called soulmate. By the way, if he ever gets tired of the fiance, introduce me to him. I think I have a vague memory of Vaughn. He was hot back in the days.

You weren’t invited, because of your horrible attempt to try and call me out on social media.

I will never restrain myself because I’m in public. You sure should know that by now. But I don’t even care, someone told me there are brownies. Don’t worry, I know my way to the kitchen.

I heard about that. Because you only want to fuck him. Classy, man.

Yeah, that is what he thinks. Apparently I’m a sex addict, can you believe that? Anyways, apparently I’m also very bad at jokes and he got all butthurt and stuff. Usually I don’t care, but he’s like a puppy. Have you ever seen a crying puppy? Depressing.

Why the negativity?

There’s no negativity. But Khalil is pissed with me for no reason, so I’m going to be mean until he realizes I’m super nice.

I never realized how much fun gift shopping for a house warming party could be. Honestly, what better way to return from a stressful, hectic week than to come home to a legitimate reason for some retail therapy? Needless to say I may have gone a little overboard, but I’m sure the party boy won’t mind.

So jealous. I miss going on those shopping sprees sort of things, but lately it feels like the day is only 10 hours long, I don’t even have time to breath. Anyways, where the hell have you been, girl? I haven’t seen you in, like, forever!

I’ve already had to throw out fifteen crashers. I’ve got a pretty good party on my hands.

Pretty sure I wasn’t invited. However, there is no fun party without me, so here I am. 

I’ve been hearing about this party for about three weeks now, so this better not be a flop, or I’m never trusting Khai ever again.

I wouldn’t get my hopes too high, mate.

Yes, I just kind of missed it. Also, bleaching it all the time was ruining it, so it’s back.

Clearly. But you’re kinda cute now, so who knows? Maybe you’ll finally lose your virginity. Are your pubes ginger as well?