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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@icyshadewhisper
a powerful duo š„

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Silent Whispers, after Love and Deepspace shot themselves in the foot:
ā± Ū« × ā§ husband!nanami and the attractive things he does pt. 3
tags. established relationship. married life. domestic bliss. gentle love. fluff. pet names (honey). soft!nanami. no angst. ā® author's note. another shorter one woo!! the heatwave is genuinely taking me out so i've not been in the mood to write or do anything else at all pffft hence why this is only 500 words and not a thousand ā® word count. 0.5k
Husband!Nanami who time and time again places a rough, warm hand on your lower back, the heat pooling through the silky dress you're wearing, arching into him the slightest bit, whilst he presses closer to you to avoid bumping into anyone else in this unnecessarily crowded place.Ā
When you look up at him, if itās to ask or say something, itās all the same, because he always bends down a bit, lips brushing the shell of your ear as he whispers his response. When he's done speaking, heāll press a brief kiss to your cheek, perhaps your jaw, and then heāll pull back, seemingly unaware of the effect he has on you.
Husband!Nanami who is pleasantly aware that he's got some centimetres on you, even if you're above the average height for women. So, without having to ask, or not even having to utter a single word about it once throughout your long-lasting marriage, he always slows down while walking.Ā
It's ridiculously silly, you seem to think now and then, but itās enough to make your heart feel warm nonetheless.Ā
Taking a walk in the park? His fingers are entwined with yours, and his long legs seem to stop going at their fast pace so that he can keep up with you. Itās you glancing up at him that does it for Kentoācheeks flushed, pupils slightly dilated, the softest of smiles plastered on your faceāand he can't help but allow his lips to tug up into a gentle smile. Oh, how nice it feels to hold the entire world in his hands.
Husband!Nanami whose tone softens when speaking to you. Usually a bit bored and calm, showcasing his practical and beyond professional demeanour, but when he turns to youālips parting, a gentle hum, tone turning reassuring in every way possible, soothing and sereneāhe melts.
Husband!Nanami who comes home from a long day at work, the front door closing behind him (a little louder than usual, the lock clicking within the span of a second), and his sleek black shoes being left in the entryway whilst he makes his way to the kitchen.
He doesn't waste a second to squeeze his front against your back, hands pressing against either your love handles or soft belly, tugging you impossibly close. Itās only sooner or later that he drops his head in the crook of your neck, presses a kiss to the skin there and finally allows his shoulders to drop while an exhausted sigh escapes his lips.
Husband!Nanami who always looks back at you. It doesn't matter if itās because he's leaving for work in the morning, before you close the front door behind him, heāll glance back over his shoulder, his lips stretching into the tiniest of smiles.Ā
Sometimes his hazel eyes will soften immensely, other times heāll mouth the words āsee you later, honeyā. But one thing he doesn't need to mouth, or say out loud, is that he loves you more than life itself, for he proves it every day.
Ā© loreshonour ā don't repost, translate, or copy any of my works.
I love when artists draw Higuruma as this sexy nerdy lawyer but I am 100% sure he is a nerd and a goof. Like dry humor, dad jokes, kind of goof. I bet he is also a good friend outside work but someone who replies rarely or late. Lmaooo
FR. And he has that cute belly from working in the office too
Oceans
Summary: In a world still flickering after near-collapse, Nanami returns home to find his wife unraveling under years of masked behavior she canāt hold together anymore. What begins as another quiet evening turns into a fracture point: her first admission that something in her mind has never worked the way others assumed. Nanami listens, not with comfort but with precision, piecing together what everyone else ignored. A study of long-term partnership, misread patterns, and the slow, deliberate work of understanding someone who has survived by hiding in plain sight. WC: 2.6K
A/N: For folks who reached out to me for this. This piece was drafted from an interest in masked behavior and how characters like Nanami & Megumi would respond when someone finally stops performing competence for them. The symptoms are intentionally broad so readers can map their own experiences without the fic prescribing a diagnosis. Megumiās section expanded as I wrote, so expect a longer arc than planned. If thereās interest, I can explore other character angles later. Enjoy the chapter. Megumi's will be next & final. Feel free to substitute the mentioned illness for your own.
Playlist | Megumi's TBA.
The world outside their apartment looked like someone had taken a blowtorch to society and left it half-melted. Cities had survived post the almost-apocalyptic events of petrification, barely, but the infrastructure still flickered the way old fluorescent tubes did, humming with the sound of a power grid held together by optimism and duct tape. People lived, worked, and crumbled inside that unstable glow.
Nanami adapted. Because there was no other choice.
And heād survived far worse.
Yet there were still evenings when he came home, crossed the threshold, and felt his pulse stutter. Not from fear, but from an old, quiet ache that had begun forming the day he first realized his wife was unraveling silently in front of everyone, including him, and no one had noticed, not even her.
Not until this moment.
Her silhouette sat curled near the balcony door, back to the room, cheek pressed against her knees, hands dug into the sleeves of her oversized shirt. The cityās failing neon lights flickered across her hair in slow, uneven rhythms. She looked like someone waiting for a disaster sheād already lived through twenty times over.
Nanami loosened his tie. Heād learned long ago to be quieter, because anything louder made her flinch.
He slipped off his glasses and stepped closer, each movement measured and predictable, a choreography he had perfected not because he was a romantic but because he genuinely saw her with the kind of patience born out of loving someone who didnāt know how to be safe around anyone. Even him on rare occasions.
Today, she didnāt look up when he entered the room.
Her breathing was shallow and far too controlled, the way people breathed when they were holding back the edges of panic. Or when they were trying to look ānormalā for someone elseās peace of mind. Her shoulders were stiff and rigid, masking, he realized, not for him specifically, but out of habit, as if she didn't know there was another option.
He sat on the floor beside her, not touching.
Because touch, heād learned, could feel like a hurricane to a nervous system already fighting the world.
So he waited.
It took her a full minute before she whispered, āI think somethingās wrong with me.ā
Nanami closed his eyes for a moment, just a moment, because the sound of her voice like that, raw and cracking, sliced him in a way curses never could.
When he opened them again, his face was steady. āWhat happened?ā
She shrugged, small and tired. āEverything. My entire life. Every relationship. Every job. Every⦠meltdown. I thought it was my upbringing or my trauma. Maybe itās still trauma. But maybe itās,ā
She stopped. Words tangled. The way they did when emotions became heavier than language.
Nanami didnāt finish her sentence for her. She hated that, people assuming her thoughts. People summarizing her feelings like she hadnāt spent years struggling to articulate them in the first place.
She took a breath so sharp it sounded like pain. āI think I might be neurodivergent. Like⦠autistic.ā She laughed once, brittle. āAt this age. Suddenly the universe pulls a plot twist, and Iām the joke.ā
He watched the tremor moving through her shoulders. āYouāre not a joke.ā
āYou donāt know that.ā
āI do,ā Nanami said simply. But there was conviction in his tone, as if the idea was as absurd to him as pigs flying.
She looked away, embarrassed. He could see it, that instinctive recoil, the reflex to shrink, the regret of speaking at all, the fear that sheād overshared, said something stupid, or opened a vulnerability she couldnāt close, and the bracing for judgment that never came. Years of being punished for emotions had carved those reflexes deep into her. Even crying in front of others was treated like an offense. So she learned to save it for the nights when she could bury her face in a pillow and choke down the sound before the misery swallowed her whole.
Nanami knew. Of course he knew. The first time he tried to comfort her, she reacted like sheād been struck, stunned and defensive, then vanished from his orbit for three weeks. He realized then that she might never feel safe enough to hand him all the sharp, broken pieces of herself; too many people had taught her that trust was a trap.
So he didnāt push. He just stayed close enough for her to reach if she ever decided to.
She pulled inward, shoulders tight. āOnly predators ever noticed something was off. No one else.ā
Nanamiās jaw tightened. He didnāt need details. He carried enough fury in his ribs to destroy the world twice over if it meant she never had to say anything aloud that she didnāt want to.
Instead, he asked, vulnerable only with her, voice lowered like he was setting down a weapon, āWhen did it start feeling like this?ā
She paused, then exhaled like the answer had been waiting behind her teeth for years. āAlways? I think? I never liked when people stood too close to me. I stopped speaking when someone interrupted me. I walked in empty places for hours, alone. Pattern recognition and being alone were the only things that calmed me. Well, water calmed me the most, but I didnāt grow up near anything big enough to drown my thoughts.ā
He listened without blinking, shoulders tightening the longer she went on. Not uncomfortable. Protective.
She continued, voice wandering because it needed to. āMy family took me on a trip once, and I saw the ocean for the first time. It scared me and calmed me in a way my brain wasnāt designed for. Ten-year-old me just stood there staring at the waves for hours. And for the first time in my life, everything went quiet.ā She gave a small, self-deprecating snort, shaking herself back to the present. āSorry, Iām getting off topic. My point is⦠people never felt safe or calming until I met you. You made me realize men could be predictable. And safe. Too safe, sometimes.ā
Nanamiās jaw flexed, barely, but it was the kind of movement that came from someone swallowing something sharp. Her words hit him like impact, not flattery.
She sank further into herself. āI thought I was dramatic. Or broken. Or stupid. Like I was faking my emotions even when I was crying. Faking my intelligence. Faking my love for superheroes because the girls where I grew up werenāt like me. They didnāt like games. They didnāt like me, no matter how polite or kind I was.ā
He didnāt interrupt. He looked like he wanted to, but he didnāt. His hand curled once against his knee before he forced it still; restraint felt too hard for him. Overrated, in fact. But he held on to it anyway because she needed him to.
āYou are none of those things,ā he said, quiet but unwavering.
Her breath trembled again. āI donāt get jokes half the time. I say weird stuff. People leave. Or they take advantage. And I never know why.ā
Nanami finally shifted, just enough to tilt his body toward her in a way that wasnāt aggressive, just deliberate. The kind of move meant to counter the weight she was carrying without touching it yet. āYou survived by studying people instead of trusting them. You learned to mask everything because you had no other choice. Anyone would misinterpret you when youāre only showing the version that keeps you safe.ā
Her eyes flickered, hope, doubt, fear crowding each other. āSo you think Iām right?ā
He hesitated for the first time, not because he disagreed, but because he hated that she had to ask.
āI think,ā he said slowly, āyouāve been fighting battles alone that you never shouldāve been left to face. And now youāre finally finding language for the way your mind works.ā
He exhaled, a quiet, controlled thing that still betrayed him. āThat isnāt being dramatic. Thatās clarity. And you deserved it years ago.ā
She swallowed, throat tight, and whispered, āWhy didnāt anyone else notice?ā
Nanami breathed out slowly.
He wanted to tell her the truth:
People rarely notice what isnāt convenient for them.
They only notice things that benefit them: the girls who comply, the girls who over-give, the girls who hurt quietly, the girls who never protest until itās too late. People who are hyper-literal, hyper-empathic, and exhausted from performing ānormalā are the easiest to ignore.
But Nanami Kento wasnāt a man cruel enough to give her the worldās cruelty.Ā
Instead, he gave her what she needed:
āBecause no one ever looked closely enough,ā he said. āExcept the ones who wanted to use you.ā
He watched her face crumple, not fully or even dramatically, but in the small, sharp way people break when they hear a truth they already suspected.
Then he added something else, not just because he loved her and that made him biased but because she didnāt deserve the things that werenāt her fault.
āYouāre not difficult. People just werenāt gentle.ā
Her breath caught.
He let the silence stretch; she was finally letting him witness her edges when tears came faster than she could wipe them.
āYou always notice,ā she murmured finally, voice small. āWhy?ā
Nanami glanced at her hands, clenched, nails digging in, then back to her face, where she was avoiding his eyes out of habit. Not fear. Just⦠overwhelmed.
āBecause I pay attention,ā he said. āTo you. To the way your eyes get glossy when youāre overstimulated. To how you study social cues before responding. To how you regret past conversations in your head without realizing it. To how you tuck yourself into silent smiles when youāre afraid youāll say something strange.ā
Her breath trembled. āThatās embarrassing.ā
āItās human,ā he corrected. āAnd itās you.ā
She hugged her knees tighter. āI hate being me sometimes.ā
Nanami leaned back against the wall, gazing at her with the kind of tenderness that didnāt soften him but deepened him, like gravity, quiet and relentless.
āYou lived through decades of misunderstanding yourself,ā he said, softer still. āOf course youāre tired.ā
Her lips pressed together. āDo you think Iām too much?ā
āNo.ā
āToo broken?ā
āNo.ā
She looked at him then, eyes wet but focused, trying to read him, trying to understand why he wasnāt pulling away the way people always did when the mask slipped.
āThen what am I?ā she whispered.
Nanami didnāt move closer, didnāt touch her, and didnāt make any sudden gesture that could overload her system. He just spoke with the calm certainty she loved him all the more for.
āYouāre someone whose brain was built for depth, not speed. For intensity, not superficiality. For survival, not performance.ā
Her face wavered. āSounds like a curse.ā
āItās a strength.ā His voice was steady as water flowing over small stones. āBut you were never taught how to use it without bleeding yourself dry.ā
She let out a breath that sounded like an entire childhood unraveling.
Nanami continued, more quietly this time. āYou make sense to me.ā
Her throat worked. āEven when I donāt make sense to myself?ā
āEspecially then.ā
She stared, not scared. Never that with him, but startled, as if the idea of being understood without performing was foreign.
āWhy do you⦠stay?ā
Nanami almost smiled, not a soft smile, but a tired one, the kind that came when someone finally admitted to a wound theyād been hiding too long.
āI didnāt marry a performance. I married a person.ā
Her breath hitched; her tears were flowing freely now. āBut what if I get worse? What if I shut down again? What if you get tired of handling me?ā
Nanami looked at her the way a lighthouse might look at a ship returning in a storm: slow, deliberate, and immovable.
āYou are not something to be āhandled,ā and I wonāt get tired,ā he smiled a little more. āI get frustrated at the world, not at you.ā
āBut Iām messy,ā she whispered. āAnd inconsistent. And intense. And sometimes even a little hypocrite. I get overwhelmed. I panic. Iā¦ā
āYouāre human,ā he interrupted gently. āAnd youāre learning who you are as an adult. That takes courage most people will never have.ā
Her shoulders loosened enough that he could see the armor cracking.
Nanami waited a few beats, then held out his hand, not touching her, just offering.
She stared at it like it was a foreign object.
Touch wasnāt something she handled on command.
But after a long second, she slowly placed her fingers into his palm, light, trembling, and hesitant.
Nanami held her hand with the gentleness of someone who knew that too much kindness could feel like violence to a raw nervous system.
āYouāre safe,ā he said eventually.
She exhaled long and shakily, as if the safety was something her body didnāt know how to hold yet.
He shifted closer, just an inch, until their shoulders nearly brushed.
āThis isnāt a flaw,ā he said. āItās a framework. And once you understand it, youāll stop blaming yourself for surviving.ā
She stared at their hands, fingers already intertwined like muscle memory, voice breaking. āIt feels like I wasted so many years.ā
Nanamiās tone softened in a way only she ever heard. āYou didnāt waste anything. You endured things most people canāt comprehend. Thatās not waste; thatās your resilience.ā
Her eyes filled again, but this time the tears didnāt fall. They hung there, shimmering.
Nanami leaned his head back against the wall, voice lower now. āYouāre not alone in this.ā
āEven if it takes years to fix myself?ā She whispered, resting her head on his shoulder.
His fingertips brushed her knuckles, barely there, like he was afraid of startling her. āYouāre not something to fix.ā
She swallowed. āThen?ā
He turned toward her, meeting her gaze without a flicker of doubt.
āYou're mine. And worth putting in the effort to understand.ā
Something in her chest cracked, not beautifully or even neatly like the movies talked about. Just the brittle edge of someone realizing she didnāt have to hold the entire world by herself.
She exhaled, slow and uneven.
Nanami didnāt rush to fill the silence. That wasnāt him.
He just stayed beside her like a quiet pillar planted in the middle of a chaotic city, and his presence alone was enough to pull the air back into her lungs.
And for the first time in longer than she cared to admit, she breathed like someone who wasnāt in the middle of drowning.
Not healed or whole or even something to fix⦠just understood.
And for Nanami, that was the start of something real.
He let the moment settle, then exhaled through his nose, practicality returning like muscle memory. āYou havenāt eaten.ā
She made a face, burrowing deeper in his chest. āI forgot.ā
āI noticed.ā His voice stayed soft, but a faint dry edge slipped in as his arm slid around her back, rubbing slow circles. āDo you want something delivered? Preferably before Gojo realizes Iām off-duty and attempts to involve me in whatever disaster heās cultivating.ā
She huffed into his shoulder. āHeās definitely blowing something up.ā
āOr Yuji is,ā he sighed. āGojo is only supervising the explosion.ā
She shifted then, slowly, exhausted, and instinctively climbed into his lap, arms looping around his shoulders as she tucked her face against his neck. āCan we get fries? Like⦠irresponsible amounts.ā
Nanami let out one low chuckle, already reaching for his phone with his free hand. āOf course. Enough for you, and enough for me to pretend I didnāt also want fries.ā
A laugh slipped out of her, thin and uneven, tangled with the remnants of crying, but undeniably real.
He didnāt mention it. He simply placed the order one-handed, the other moving in quiet, rhythmic circles along her back, more grounding than comforting.
When he finally set his phone down, he rested his head against hers, the contact light but intentional. Close enough for her to reach for him again if she chose.
She did when he asked if she wanted to move to a city near the sea.
A/N: You'd make sense to him.
Masterlist
Beta by @blackrimmedrose. Lana Del Rey lyrics dividers by @saradika-graphics, support banner from @strangergraphics, and line dividers by @omi-resources.
So excited for his birthday for no reason lol; this is my favorite piece I have ever written with him.

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Masterlist
Waiting for your love (AU! Edo Choso x Fem! reader)
Chapters:
Chapter 1: «Birthmarks»
Chapter 2: «We Are the Same».
Chapter 3: «My Savior»
Chapter 4: «The Bleeding Wound of a Broken Heart»
Chapter 5: «Her diary: Y/N and Nanami Kento»
Chapter 6: «Breaking News: Citizen Kidnapped, Danger in the Country!»
Chapter 7:«The Rock of Sisyphus»
Chapter 8: «Born from Pain and Buried in Rejection»
Chapter 9: «The Fear That Comes When Goodbye Arrives»
Chapter 10: «The Fear That Comes When Goodbye Arrives. Part 2»
Chapter 11: «To Suffer and Be Reborn Through Love»
Forever in Malaysia (No magic AU! Nanami Kento x Fem! Reader)
Chapters:
Chapter 1: «The Day It All Began»
Chapter 2: «Tell Me Where You Are»
Chapter 3: «As Beautiful as the Beginning»
Chapter 4: «A Lover's Desperation»
Chapter 5: «We Were Never a Mistake»
Your only option (No magic AU! Hiromi Higuruma x Fem! Lectora)
Chapters:
Chapter 1: «Monday, October 1st»
Chapter 2: «Everything Has a Price»
Chapter 3: «Dissatisfied to the Breaking Point»
Chapter 4: «The Beginning of the End»
Chapter 5: «A Meeting Between Two Miserable People»
Chapter 6: «A Pact Between Two»
Chapter 7: «First Case: Shinjuku Nichome»
Chapter 8: «First Case: Coffee Fever»
Chapter 9: «First Case: Getting Closer»
Chapter 10: «First Case: A Tough Trial»
Painting Our Memories (Medieval AU! Erwin Smith x Fem! reader x Levi Ackerman)
Chapters:
Chapter 1: «Reflection of My Soul and Greatness»
Chapter 2: «Reflection of My Soul and Greatness. part two»
Chapter 3: «Without a Doubt, You Are Unworthy of This Opportunity»
Chapter 4: «Tension in the Palace and Murderous Glances»
Summer Love (Modern AU! Sanji Vinsmoke x Fem! reader)
Chapters:
Chapter 1: «Start of vacation»
Chapter 2: «First Day of Vacation: Welcome, Y/N-Swan!»
Dancing in the flames (Zuko x Isekai Fem! Reader)
Chapters:
Chapter 1: «Inseparable from me»
Chapter 2: «Eternally Doomed»
Written in blood (Victorian AU! Yelena x Fem! Reader)
Chapters:
Chapter 1: «A Family Acquaintance»
⨠The Zuko story banner was created by: @alebrasil0101
like the movies!
abstract: higuruma pissed you off; heās stupidly smart, punctual, and has all the qualities of being a top future lawyer (even if he seems to have the emotional intelligence of a puddle). all the reasons why you would do anything to be at the top of your shared political theory class. even if it means having to play romcom heroine with him.
tags + cw: college au! hiromi higuruma x reader; 13k w.c ; academic rivals to lovers; rom-com + music references; fluff + smut; a bit corny but that's ok; #repost from my old blog -- art by mizuart_bolillo on twt <3
aniyaps: those who remember this fic... but yeah, it's edited ! (the original draft was written in hs jesus christ... i cringed so bad editing this but it's better now, i swear) this shit was legit my magnum opus but hopefully my college au! choso fic can surpass it⦠coming soon!
āLiberty isnāt inherently owed,ā Hiromi said, tapping his black pen against the mahogany of the table. āItās a construct that is shaped and regulated by those in power and in turn, rewards control rather than fairness.ā
Higurumaās words echoed throughout the lecture hallā calm, precise, and annoyingly punctual. His tone was crisp and assertive; like listening to him was like listening to a future litigator (probably was).Ā
āTo negotiate liberty through the lens of moral fairness is to assume that the system is built on fairness. However, it is designed to maintain hierarchy.ā
You thought the pen you held was about to explode considering that you gripped it so tight, your knuckles were turning white. You didnāt even notice the way your jaw clenched at his words.Ā
Itās just that the bastard kept speaking like he knew everything. But thatās the thing. He wasnāt wrongāand that sole fact pissed you off to no avail.
Hiromi Higuruma is smart as hell, top of your class too. However, despite all his academic acclaim, unfortunately, the same praise can't be applied to his... affinity for social interaction. Even a goddamn puddle of spilled coffee would be more charasmatic and warm than him.
For the entire term, you donāt think youāve ever seen him raise his voice or even laugh at anything, despite your professorās occasional corny jokes that you canāt help but laugh out of sheer pity. He just sat there like a statue, except for the occasional clicking of the pen that would also, quite frankly, irk you (maybe you should really reevaluate your anger issues like your friends have told you. Or maybe it's just him).
You constantly hear about the praise he receives, despite not having some courses together; always mentioned for being ābrilliantā and āahead of the curveā. Obviously, given the fact he can be quite a prick, and the fact that he is your "academic rival" as you'd put it, of course you were irritated.
He always came to lecture dressed like he had a deposition afterward. Ironed his clothes perfectly pressed, and his plain expression looked like he was bored with everything.Ā
That shit drove you absolutely insane.
Not to mention, that he simply seems conceitedācocky. He doesnāt greet anyone, and apparently during group presentations, he does his part and leaves everyone else scrambling.Ā
You hated vain people like that. Hated people that thought they were above others and acted that way.
āInteresting, Higuruma. Very interesting.ā Your professor said, looking devastatingly bored. āDoes anyone care to respond? Any commentary or inquiry?ā Again, your professor's tone seriously sounded quite monotone. Granted, this was a 9 A.M..
Suguru, your friend beside you, shot you a glance that was practically screaming ādonāt do itā.Ā
Suguru, along with almost everyone in the class, were already aware of Higurumaās antics. That is who he was known as: the know-it-all that always had his hand raised.
He was also unfortunately aware of your disdain for the guy; how he aggravated you with his constant "raise of the hand" and refusal for human interaction in the hallways.Ā To be fair, he didnāt even want to take the class but had to as a philosophy major. However, that isnāt to say he didnāt find your one-sided beef with the guy not entertaining. Just the sheer mention of Higuruma had you fuming. It was fucking hilarious.
āY/N. Donāt,ā he whispered.
Too late.
You already raised your hand with a prissy little smile etched on your face.Ā
Maybe it was the fact that you woke up late, got your coffee order done wrong, and the fact that you lost your train card. But you werenāt about to deal with Higuruma getting the last word like always.
You didn't back down. And you didn't want to (unfortunately, you were also too prideful to put your hand down given the fact it shot up so fast).
āYes,ā you said, clearing your throat. āWith respect, Higurumaās argument assumes that liberty is transactionalāthat it is something handed down or withheld depending on someoneās access to institutional power, is not libertyās fault rather those systems.ā
You noted the way Higuruma turned to look at you from the front of the lecture hall. He didnāt even look at you with disdain rather interest. His gaze towards you lacked the usual judgement it had when someone said something stupid or redundant during class and his eyebrows were pinched together.Ā
He was listening intently to what you were saying.
āRousseau would argue that liberty must exist independently from power structures and when it doesnāt, that just means the social contract is brokenānot that liberty itself is just leverage. Then that means, we risk reducing liberty to a tool of oppression rather than a foundational principle worth reclaiming.ā
You could hear Suguruās slight chuckle at your words, challenging Mister āDefinitely-Going-To-A-Top-10-Law-Schoolā. He looked at the rest of the class to notice that everyone was looking at youāand how could they not?Ā
You were the first person to really challenge something āthe genius of the classā said. And you kind of had a point with your words?Ā Oh, how could you. How utterly preposterous.
You shot your professor and Higuruma a smile. Higuruma tilted his head towards you almost innocently. Like he wasnāt aware that your words were dripping with malice and opposition.Ā
One to nothing.
Your professor went back to pacing and his expression ceased from looking bored. āYou have a point, Miss L/N. Very valid challenge to Mister Higuruma and his commentary. Now back to page 466ā¦ā
Suguru snickered as he tapped his pen on the table. āThat is probably the first time in the semester that someoneās gone up against him during lecture time. How nice, Y/N.ā
āYeah. No thanks to you,ā you sneered, gaining post-discussion clarity. Ā
However, you never thought that you would really interact with Hiromi Higuruma again after that. He was an uptight know-it-all with his personality depth equivalent to white-out, and you purposefully avoided him even before all of this. Even so, he had his own pretentious clique of future law school students in his work study and internship.Ā
To be fair, the only moments you did was the occasional disagreement in class after the first time, however that itself was rare.
But here you were, emailed a few weeks later regarding your selection to the prestigious school journal for the political science columnāand being paired with that fucker.Ā
The universeāor rather your professorāmust hate you.
āCongratulations! You have been selected by the Liberal Arts department to co-author the semester's Political Science journal piece. The assigned topic is Civil Liberties in Post-Democratic Systems, and the writers will be Y/N L/N andā¦Hiromi Higuruma.ā
You tapped on your phone in disdain when you finished reading the email. āI just got asked to write something for the Political Science journal piece for the LAS department,ā you scoffed. "What a start to my weekend."
The setting you were at was pretty loud, dimly lit, and typical for a Friday at your campus bar. You were already a few drinks in when you got the notification alerting you of the dreaded, fucking email.Ā
You took a dramatic swig of your beverage and placed it on the table. āYou three are smartāto some extent. Tell me why I, such a sophisticated scholar, am being punished like this.āĀ
Suguru raised an amused eyebrow at your reaction and laughed. āYou literally got into the most competitive writing fellowship on campus and youāre calling it punishment? God, youāre such a piece of work.ā
Shoko nodded, taking a drag of her cigarette. āFuck, are you drunk already?ā
You frowned and unlocked your phone to show them the email. Satoru took your phone dramatically and cleared his voice like he was reciting a Shakespearean poem at a slam poetry event.Ā
āCongratulations, Miss Y/N. Yada yada blah blah, selected for Civil Libertiesā¦Writers will beā¦Oh...ā Satoru hummed before letting out a hearty guffaw.Ā āAre you serious? Youāre stuck with Hiromi Higuruma of all people? Holy shit, these jokes write themselves.ā
"Shut up," you groaned, covering your face and hitting your phone on your forehead in an attempt to look dramatic. āNow I'm stuck with a guy that has a damn superiority complex? How thrilling.ā
āAwh. Iām sorry, Y/N,ā Suguru said, mock sympathy dripping from his words.Ā āYou know how that guy is, but I canāt lie, this is quite entertaining.ā
Satoruās eyebrow quirked up. āThe same Higuruma in your Social Justice 201 class who made Yuki cry? Didnāt he say she ādidnāt belong in the classā over a misunderstanding?ā
Shoko laughed. āOh my god. I remember when you told me the story about him submitting an entire paper with case citations for a damn theory class? God, Iām not in liberal arts but that sounds insane. Heās already quite the character in our stats class. Right, Satoru?ā
Satoru laughed and nodded. "That guy might be a bigger piece of work than you, Y/N, and that says a lot."
You paused for a moment before really thinking; you didnāt hate the guy based on everything he did⦠some things were ratherā¦
āFuck, I canāt even lie⦠but that whole ābeing preparedā thing is hot if he isnāt being pretentious about it.ā
The three of your friends went silent before Satoru let out a giggle. You didnāt even catch what you said out loud until Satoru spoke to call you out.
āSoā¦youāre sayinā youāre into him? Ouu shit...ā
Suguru let out a damn giggle at your misfortune. āYou bitch about him all the time during class and now this happens to you? Ā This couldnāt get better.ā Shoko hummed, "oh but it could... Let's just see how Y/N gets after this."
You flicked Satoruās forehead and frowned. āNo. Iām not into him, Iām into winning. Iām into being the first in that class because I need a recommendation letter from that professor.ā
Then you turned to the others. āYou two are really, really full of shit.ā
āWouldnāt you just need a good relationship with the teacher to do so?ā Shoko asked.
You shook your head. āNo. Heās putting a cap for 3 recommendation lettersāor the top person in each of the classes he teaches.ā
Shoko nodded. āGotcha. So youāre into leverage? Smart, smart.ā
You nodded. āExactly. Iām gonna make him so irritated that heāll drop out of the journal and itās gonna be all me. Then Iāll be at that Top Three.ā
āYou sound like a movie villain, holy fuck.ā
āOrā¦ā Satoru said, swirling his drink.
āOh no.ā
āYou seduce him.ā He said, deadpan. It was quiet for a moment between the four of you, with everyone looking at Satoru like he had gained a third head.
āFrom all the shit youāve ever said, Satoru,ā Shoko laughed. āThis might be the smartest yet most stupid idea youāve ever come up with.ā
You frowned. āYou too? Youāre better off watching 10 Things I Hate About You or How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days? I fear thereās no romance happening between me and that guy.ā
Satoru giggled. āNo, this would be ā10 Objections On How To Seduce A Poli Sci Studentā or I donāt know. Whatever legal jargon you future lawyers use.ā
āThink about it,ā Suguru said, taking a drag of his cigarette. āThese guys arenāt wrong and imagine if he did fall for you. This might surprise you to know, but I know some of his āfriendsā and overheard them talk about his type.ā
āHis type?ā Your eyes narrowed at him. Hiromi Higurumahas friends? He has an ideal type? Fuck, wait, why are you even curious about this?
Suguru nodded and dabbed some of the ash onto the little ashtray beside him. āMhm. Heās into those political science girls. And oh my God! Look! You major in that! Well, what a coincidence.ā
You snorted. āUh huh, tough shit. You forget I minor in Economics too... Yāknow, Iāve been thinking of what he reminds me of. Heās like, very Miles Edgeworth in real lifeāand not in a good way. In a bad way. Very.ā
āBut, you could.ā Satoru grinned. āYouāve got the looksābecause youāre pretty, no weird shitāthe brains, and ability to say those weird Latin legal terms without brutally mispronouncing them. He wouldnāt stand a damn chance. Youāre gonna have that guy wrapped around your slimy little finger.ā
āGross... but on some actual serious shit, I don't even think he is capable of romance,ā you said meekly. āWhat if heās likeā¦Gee, I donāt know? Not interested in dating? Iāve never heard of him ever dating anyone. Heās probably better off with his books.ā
You then shrugged. āBesides, heās not my type. Iām not into over-the-top bastards who have an insanely inflated ego.ā
Your eyes widened at Satoru letting out the biggest cackle of the night, his face practically turning red like you said the funniest thing ever. āAre you serious? Letās be honest, your type is shit. Higuruma is a much better option in comparison to the other two guys youāve dated: stupid and utterly incompetent. Let's not forget Naoya, now."
He had a pointā¦Ā
āYouāve got nothing to lose, Y/N.ā Shoko said. āLetās make a bet.ā
You felt your stomach drop at what she said and feared for the worst. āUh huh. What type of bet are you trying to make?ā
She leaned in and put her hand on your shoulder mockingly. āYou make Hiromi HigurumaāMister Top-of-the-Classāfall for you by the end of the semester. Weāll give you 400 bucks from all of us.ā
Suguru shrugged. āI catch him taking a little look at you occasionally. A little here and there. Youāre like practically a quarter there.ā
Satoru snickered at your reaction. āAwh, this is so like the movies. So so cute!ā
You scoffed at the proposition and at the shitty nicknames given to the guy. āHe looks at everyone like heās about to cross-examine them. Donāt start with that bullshit.ā
āThatās what makes it fun,ā Suguru said.
āLetās raise the stakes a bit, then.ā Satoru raised his finger like a little kid attempting to call the teacherās attention and cleared his throat.Ā
āFather dearest is planning to hire some undergrad student shadows for the legal department at our humble family finance group.ā
You froze. āAre you suggestingā¦Corporate law experience..?ā
While Satoru pretends to be ādumbā, he comes from the Gojo financial conglomerate. Heās the epitome of being a ādaddyās moneyā ātrust fundā baby.
He smiled. āPrecisely. Itās paid, prestigious according to some accounts, and exclusive, according to my uncle. But you already have me. He recently told me that they're planning to receive applications and well, you'll be a favorite considering you have me."
āAnd if I lose..?ā
Shoko shot you a saccharine smile. āYou do our stats homework for the rest of the semester. All of it.ā
You frowned, weighing the options of attention from your potential-future legal peers to stats homework. You hate that class. It was too annoying.
Higurumaās face flashed in your mind for a second; his stupid thin wire-frame glasses and that stupid fucking face he makes when someone says something obviously dumb in class. His cocky demeanor also came to mind, making you frown.
You let out a deep exhale. āFine, but when I succeedāand trust me, I willāI expect all of you to kneel to me during graduation.ā
They smiled.Ā
āYouāve got it.ā
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When you entered, the library smelled like old parchment, the smell of wood polish, and the presumable tears of first year students getting through exams. The sun gleamed over the area of the library from the large windows overlooking the rest of campus.
You glanced at your wristwatch and looked at the time, it being 4:25 in the afternoon.Ā
You had emailed Higuruma during your stats class to meet when the afternoon lecture was done at the library at 4:35.
The window seat with the two outlets was bare and you decided to station there while waiting for him.Ā
You placed your things and were finally starting to accommodate yourself and establish your amazing intellectual dominance with your long and cluttered notes. You typed away on a starting document, sharing him on it and sipping on your sadly overpriced matcha from the cafe by campus.
However, just when you were starting to find a bit of solace in your typing and rich matcha, you felt a shift and heard the doors clash open rather dramatically.
He was here.
Your eyes shifted in front of you, where you spotted Hiromi walking towards youāwalking like he just walked out of a courtroom where his client was just fucking sentenced to death.Ā
Yeah, that type of ominous and serious presence.
He was dressed in a dark grey turtleneck, dark colored slacks, and some expensive looking, black leather loafers from the looks of it. And worst of all, he had his stupid little leather satchel that screamed āfuture pretentious law studentā.
He looked like he jumped out of The Secret History; dark academia aesthetic and all.
āL/N,ā he said, acknowledging you while he set his things down across from you on the table.Ā
āHiguruma,ā you replied, not looking up from your laptop in fear of looking him in the eye.Ā
A little beat of silence passed amongst the two of you where he spokeāthe same pretentious authority he usually spoke with. āI didnāt expect you to be early.ā
āI didnāt expect you to show up at all, quite frankly,ā you muttered, taking a sip of your matcha before realizing you actually said that out loud.Ā
You werenāt wrong when saying that. Amongst your peers in your Political Theory class, Higuruma had quite the reputation for being neglectful to his peers when it came to group projects, or so youāve heard.
āMay I look at these?ā You felt relief that he ignored your stupid little quip and you nodded, sliding your notes from class over to him.Ā
You felt your face get warm and looked up to see him already reading your notes; he was taking out a legal pad and fucking Levenger fountain pens. His stupid expression was neutral but focusedāanalysing your notes.Ā
How annoying.
āSo, I thought we could start with outlining the major arguments and split the sections based on the scope,ā he said bluntly. Despite Higuruma being your age, you felt like you were speaking to one of your professors due to his demeanor; even more the reason to mess with him.
āNo foreplay?ā Your voice sounded more deadpanned than usual, which wasnāt on purpose. It slipped out, causing your face to turn warm, but it proved useful when it came to being the cause for Higurumaās expression to be anything but a stone-cold one.
His expression faltered and his eyebrow twitched; the pen he was holding had its ink bleeding through the pages of his legal pad while he appeared to be thinking on what to say to your interesting choice of words.
He cleared his throat awkwardly. ā...Excuse me?ā
You shot him a smile: sweet and extremely fake. āMetaphorically, I meant. I was thinking of starting with a basic thesis breakdown before jumping into the actual structure of what we were going to discussābefore we get too far ahead of ourselves. Then, obviously, construct our abstract of the paper so execution can go smoothly.ā
He stared at you blanklyālike he didnāt know what to say again, before returning to his own notes and placing yours back to your side of the table. āYour choice of metaphor is quiteā¦strange.ā
You kissed your teeth and nodded. āYup. I get that a lot. What can I say?ā
Hiromi paused and glanced up at you, his gaze lingering a bit longer than expected for someone like himālike he was almost examining your face? You felt like a witness in court being cross-examined.
Your eyebrow raised. āProblem, Higuruma?ā
āNoā¦ā he said, leaning his head onto his wrist. āJust confirming that youāre as unconventional as everyone saysā¦ā
Your smirk faltered and you leaned back in your chair. So the little bastard talks bad about you?
āThat sounds like gossip. Didnāt take you for the type to indulge in that, Higuruma.ā His expression was rather plain as his eyes were glued onto his screen as he wrote some things down in his legal pad.
āIām not,ā he said simply. āBut your name has come up before.ā
You blinked.Ā
What the fuck?Ā
You scoffed. āThe hell does that mean?ā
Higuruma didnāt answer, rather just turned his folder and passed you a printed outline of a running bibliography with disgustingly clean formatting of his APA citations and the precis on what he wrote. They were color coded by ideology and in alphabetical order with a key up top.
Fucking show-off.
You narrowed your eyes at him and scoffed a bit. You had barely gotten the email two days prior and he had a running bib that was 7 pages long front and back.Ā
āYou do realize that this is just a student journal piece, right? Not a damn dissertation?ā
He didnāt react, but instead, continued looking over his notes and typing some notes on his MacBook. āIf you are going to write about something like post-democratic systems, itās better to be precise and do it properly.ā
You rolled your eyes at his stiff response and took the outline he placed on the table. From your peripheral, you noted how his eyes went to you and how he watched you do it.
You couldnāt help but admire the organizationāhow neat, logical, and useful it was.Ā
It was, unfortunately, useful and easy to work with.
āOkay,ā you began. āIāll take the opening section of the paper and look at Hobbes and Rousseauāsome basics and classic theory. You can take modern structures. So like Hayek, Schmitt, and all that constitutionalism shit you obsess over during lecture.ā You said the last part rather low in hopes that he wouldnāt hear you.
You looked up to see his expression and his lips twitched upward; he almost cracked a smile. Almost.Ā
āFair.ā
His tone was plain like always, but with a twinge of something else. You felt your stomach turn... For some reason you didn't feel irritated rather...
Your eyes widened a bit. āYou didnāt argue.ā
āYeah,ā he said. āI was hoping you would tell me about the structure. It helps me really look at what youāre good at so we could work together accordingly.ā
What? He was waiting for you to announce who took what? And he thinks you're good at it? Isnāt he just a prick who doesnāt take that into consideration?Ā
Maybe he thinks youāre competent. You both were chosen and recommended by a professor. But he just admitted to talking shit about you?Ā
Or maybe Higuruma just doesnāt know how to word āI think youāre so awesome and deserve the first spotā properly.
His comment caught you off guard and you looked at him for a moment, his eyes already on you.Ā
āCareful, Higuruma. I could mistake that for a compliment.ā
āI know.ā
You stared at him and maintained eye contact before you dropped your gaze back to your laptop and began using the running bib he had given you for some reference. It was a mix of some classic theories from class up to some other commentaries from different professors about this topic from other universities.Ā
But he almost complimented you?!
Shady fucking bastard.
Minutes passed and he didnāt joke, flirt, nor comment. But you felt on edge, like if you breathed too heavily, he could say something. However, you maintained your rhythm, not speaking a word until you were kicked out of the library and you ended your meeting with a simple ābye, see you next classā.Ā
He was rather dry and had you on the edge of your seat, and you hated that with a passion.
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You felt like the sun was going to blind you. You had forgotten your contacts and dealt with your glasses, with the sun specifically shining and reflecting on the glass of your lenses.
But it felt wrong feeling that way; despite it being rather chilly outside and perfect for sweater weather.Ā It was a nice dayāweather wise.
The lecture hall for your Political Inquiry class was still locked and you waited outside, leaning against the ivy-ridden, red brick wall of the building, looking at your surroundings. Your gaze followed the occasional cyclist and jogger who went by the trail in front of you.Ā
You felt your eyes close and you let out a deep exhale. The thought of what happened yesterday left you anticipatingāfor what? You didnāt know.Ā
You never had the chance to properly digest the fact you actually interacted with Higuruma alone. Maybe it was overthinking but, you couldnāt help but feel rather weird about it. Despite the initial joking with your friends, in hindsight, you didnāt know how to feel.
It wasnāt an unpleasant encounter, despite his unexpected quips here and there. Maybe you could work with him. But what about the bet? You needed that recommendation letter.
āL/N?ā Your eyes flickered to the ground, meeting the sight of black leather loafers in front of you. You looked up to see Higuruma, pushing his wire glasses up the bridge of his nose and carrying a textbook. āWhat are you doing out here?ā
āIāI meanā¦lecture?ā You stammered, feeling your face warm for no reason. āWhy? The lecture hall is closed andāā
āDidnāt you catch the email? Our professor wanted to meet in the library. I was just passing by to go.ā His tone wasnāt mean but dryāclinical and superficial. Like you were another stupid classmate who didnāt know the difference between political ideals.
You narrowed your eyes at him, his expression plain. āIā¦didnāt know. Thanks, I guess, for letting me know. Unless youāre joking with me.ā
He shook his head. āIām not.ā
You kissed your teeth and nodded. āAlright.ā
You began walking down the trail and noticed how he walked beside you. The creeping heat in your cheeks returned and you felt like you couldnāt speak.Ā
He walked with such authority, like he was headed to a courtroom. And he smelled goodāmaybe cedarwood? You reached in your sweaterās pocket and pulled out your AirPods to cancel out the silence.
āWhat do you have so far for the paper?ā
Your eyebrows raised and you hesitated. āI have a good 4 paragraphs done so far, but Iām definitely going to revise it when I get back. Iām definitely gonna add some structuralist angles and Rousseau. Then it would be much more intuitive.ā
You noticed the manner in which his brow twitched. He hummed in acknowledgment to your words before he spoke up.Ā
āYou write veryā¦defensively,ā he said looking at you sideways. āItās not bad.ā
You frowned. āGee, thanks.ā
āIām not trying to offend you. It means youāre smart in your own way.ā
You fought off a smile. āIs thatā¦a compliment?ā
āAn observation.ā His tone was flat, forcing you to laugh out of pure awkwardness. āYouāre quoting? Correct?ā
You snorted. āOf course. This isnāt a damn Buzzfeed article.ā
Then you saw how the corners of his mouth twitched like he was going to smile at your quip. āThatāsā¦fair.ā
You took out your AirPod from your ear and placed it in the case snug in your pocket as you walked. Maybe he wasnāt as unbearable as always.Ā
āYou said youāre starting with Hobbes, right?ā
āMhm. Framework-wise and then Iāll tie it all together. You?ā
He nodded. āWell, Iām building off that with Hayek and market structure in constitutional states.ā
You blinked. āThatāsā¦not what I expected.ā
āWhat did you expect?ā
You shrugged. āI donāt know. I guess something more cutthroat. Thatās how you are in class anywayā¦ā
āSo are you,ā he shot back plainly. Like his words were so normal in the context of who he was.Ā
You stopped walking for a moment, your eyebrows furrowed while your mouth was agape at his bluntness. āExcuse me?ā
āWell, I havenāt not noticed the fact that youāre the only person in our Political Theory who has had something to say to my commentary. Iām pretty sure everyone else doesnāt even care to be there.ā
You felt your ego rise and a twinge of disbelief. Since when was he so direct?Ā
āRightā¦so you remember what I said?ā
āIt wasnāt a bad argument.ā
āUh huhā¦Iām honored.ā
The sound of your sneakers clashed with the sound of his sleek loafers on the pavement and before you knew it, Higuruma had tapped you on the shoulder, phone in hand.Ā
āWould it be alright if I got your number?ā
Your eyebrows furrowed at his words and he noticed. āExcuse me?āĀ
He blinked profusely and motioned his hands awkwardly. āStrictly for coordination. Email would be too tedious, especially with our course load. This would be the most convenient for the both of us.ā
You hesitated for a moment before taking it. āSure. But if you send me some political Instagram Reel bullshit at night, consider yourself blocked.ā
A slight twinge of a smile graced his face before he nodded. āNoted.ā
You smirked and shoved the AirPod back in your ear as the two of you walked again in peaceful silence to your lecture.
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āWhat do you think of the edits so far?āĀ
Higuruma is a punctual man, you were already aware of that. So much so that he established a schedule to meet twice a week every week for the next month and a half or so.Ā
Thatās how you found yourself constantly leaving to the library once the afternoon lecture was over. And how you found yourself currently revising his part of the paper on his couch. The library was currently under renovations so you felt a bit surprised that Higuruma waited for you outside your stats class to āwalk over to his placeā to revise the paper.Ā
He had said it in such a calm and casual voice that you didnāt think anything of it. That was until you actually were in front of his apartment door, waiting for him to unlock it and enter.Ā
You were in your academic rivalās apartment. Alone. With him.
This was the last time you were going to revise this since the term was almost over. All that was left was submitting the piece and your final.
The actual apartment wasnāt as cold and scary as you thought. You spotted some pictures of him with his parents and what appeared to be a little novelty figure of a chess rook on a table, along with a little action figure. His apartment was also littered with bookshelves that were aesthetically organized and it was nice.Ā
Not what you thought. You imagined something painfully boring and beige, yet this was actually depicting some type of personality.Ā
You held your red pen and printed copy of your piece tightly, analyzing the structuring of his paragraphs while he did the same to yours.Ā
āFor your Rousseau part,ā he started,Ā āit needs a bit of restructuring. He sounds like he contradicts himself when speaking about natural liberty and civil liberty. The transition is too abrupt. Change it. Other than that, your argument is fairly strong and good.ā
You narrowed your eyes at him from across the couch despite the twinge in your heart from his clear compliment about your writing. The two of you had been making final revisions for hours and you yawned, ignoring his commentary.
āHiromi. Do you ever just turn it off? Like just relax...Okay?ā Now you were full-on ignoring him, yet now, you have gotten to the point where you had gotten comfortable enough to do so. "Do you ever just... get on social media and talk shit or something? Reddit, Quora, maybe you're a little freak and you use Twitter."
His lips curved to a slight smile. āTo do that, Iād need to be on social media constantly in the first place.ā
You snorted. āOh right. God forbid you donāt have the masses begging to access a piece of your intricate little mind.ā
āYou seem to have access just fine.ā
You glared at him to which he looked at you deadpanned and covered his face with the printed paper he held. His ears were pink.
That was something in your mind too when it came to Higuruma, it was like a switch flipped.
When you had first met with him to look at the paper in the library, he was simply stoic and quite dense, dressed like he was to go to a courtroom after your meeting. But now, he still dressed like a pretentious law student, but he almost seemed like he was getting more casual.Ā
His attire shifted from Oxfords to casual Asics or Nike shoes, and from his knit sweaters and cardigans to sweatshirts from your college and such.
He was less blunt and āold manā when he spoke to you. Now, he actually sounded like someone in your age range rather than an 80 year old professor on his 5th divorce (a.k.a, your current Political Theory professor). His tone shifted from completely academic to more human.
You had even started calling each other by your first names.Ā
Truth be told, youāve really gotten quite comfortable with him.
You looked over to check the time on your phone, it being around 8:50.
āWeāre probably gonna be here for a while, and I don't think you'd kick me out so suddenly. Itās the weekend tomorrow,ā you said, yawning. āLetās get some caffeine. I saw a coffee shop by here. Letās go.ā
To your surprise, Hiromi didnāt seem bothered by it. He hummed in agreement and nodded.Ā
He got up from the carpet and stretched. āOkay. Let me get my wallet and keys.ā
You didnāt know why, but you felt your heart slightly flutter at the sound of his raspy voice. Even more so when you accidentally looked at him while he stretched and got the view of his toned lower stomach as his sweater lifted.Ā
Itās not like his outfit was anything out of the ordinary either; he wore his regular old purple sweatshirt that had your college crest embroidered on it and regular old jeansāhowever, it did look good on him. It...kinda...really did.
God, you felt like a 19th century prude. Seriously? Getting flustered over his lower stomach and boxers peeking out? Your ex-boyfriend would strip and you wouldn't feel anything but now?
āAre you okay, Y/N?ā Hiromi looked at you concerned, keys and wallet in hand as he was putting on his shoes by the door of his apartment. You were still on the couch, head against your wrist and daydreaming.
You felt your face get warm and nodded profusely, grabbing your own wallet beside your phone on the coffee table and putting on your own shoes. āYeah. Letās go.ā
The apartment complex he lived in was rather quaint, taking a good 3 minutes to get to the ground level from the emergency stairs. The cafe itself was also quite a short distanceāonly being some 4 blocks away. It seemed familiar but maybe it was because you were familiar with the area already.
The smell of coffee beans and lavender hit you while the two of you went over to the barista taking orders.Ā
āWhat can I get you two?ā They asked, to which Hiromi answered.Ā
āMay I get a medium black coffee and a small iced matcha with brown sugar?ā
ā15.98, please.āĀ
He handed the barista his card and waited for the transaction to pass where you then found yourself waiting for the order with him by the pick-up area.Ā
It was so quick, you didnāt know what to say.
āYou remembered my order? I must be spending too much time with you,ā you joked. āYou didnāt have to pay. I could have.ā
He didnāt say anything and you just went on your phone to see what games you could play while you waited. You felt a strange feeling at the fact that he remembered your order; so mundane and small yetā¦it left you with a weird feeling. You just couldnāt explain what it was. You felt warm.
Maybe it was courtesy on his behalf. You didnāt knowājust that it felt a bit casual.
You placed an AirPod in your ear while waiting for the order to be completed, scrolling through your playlists. The cafe was littered with college students in presumably similar situations to finish their own individual papers.Ā
Maybe it was a bit of a cringe thing, but you began humming the lyrics of the song you listened to, and then noticed Hiromi moving a bit to look at you, specifically looking at the AirPod peeking through your hair.Ā
āWhat is it today?ā He inquired, making note of your habit of listening to your AirPods when you werenāt speaking in public.Ā
āOh. Itās The Smiths.ā
Hiromi nodded slowly before he said something that nearly shook you to your core. āMay I?ā
You blinked slightly at his words.Ā
Never did you think someone like Hiromi Higurumaāthe person you were in such a weird frenemy-ship with, would ask for an AirPod of all things. Something so mundane yet soā¦intimate?Ā Or maybe you were over-thinking... What the hell?
āYou want one?ā
He didnāt verbally respond, rather extended his hand towards you. You looked at his blank face then at his handābig, callousedāand took out your AirPod case to which you gave him the left one and placed it on his palm.Ā
He gently tucked it into his ear and listened to the music resuming for the both of you. It played a song off The Smithsās The Queen Is Dead albumāone of your favorites. You looked over to see Hiromi, slightly smiling.Ā
It was calm and gentle. You felt oddly at peace with the man you nearly professed your hatred to at your first meeting.Ā
You really were calm right now, really. But thenā
āYou bitch!āĀ
Holy shit, you thought your heart was about to jump out of your chest.Ā
You turned around to see lo and behold, your best friends Satoru, Shoko, and Suguru appeared out of thin air. In the fucking flesh. In the cafe right by Hiromiās apartment.Ā Ā
No wonder it felt so familiar. Those three idiots lived nearby.
āNo fucking way,ā you muttered.Ā
Hiromi looked confused and opened his mouth to say something until he noticed your order was ready and walked over to get it, where your triple threat set of friends walked over to you. Except from what you can tell, Suguru was missing, and was rather, next to your project partner.
āYouāre such a slut.ā Satoru said mockingly, pointing at your outfit up and down while giggling like a damn moron.Ā
āOh shut it.ā You sneered. He was right to note your outfitābut you swear it wasnāt to seduce Hiromi. Not in the slightest. The most it did was showcase cleavage.
āTomorrowās laundry day, you idiots.ā You heard Hiromi cough from beside you, covering his face as he turned around with Suguru beside him.
You felt on edge considering their expressions; with Suguru having a smile while Hiromi looked rather contemplative. His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips were pursed, almost like he was anxious.
Shoko snickered. āItās okay, girl.ā
āWell, Satoru, Shoko, we should leave these two on their date. Wouldnāt wanna interrupt.ā Suguru said, a sly smile playing on his lips.Ā
āStudy break,ā you corrected, feeling your face become flushed and warm.Ā
Hiromi nodded and you noticed the way that your friends smiled at each other and exchanged knowing glances.
His face was turning pink.
āOkay then. Bye, Y/N. Bye, Higuruma. Have fun.ā Satoru called out. Rather ominously.Ā
You eyed the three of them as they left the cafe and waved at you from the window.Ā
āAre those your friends?ā Hiromi quietly asked, leaning over to see if he could still spot your friends. His hand was awkwardly placed near his face where it was slightly covered.
āUnfortunately,ā you said with an annoyed smirk. āI swear that their combined IQ is the equivalent that of a carrotās.ā
You heard him let out a slight chuckle. āGotcha.ā
He handed you your drink and the both of you walked over to leave the cafe after that strange encounter. You still were sharing your AirPods with him and the melody of a random, you were pretty sure, Radiohead song filled the silence.Ā
You glanced over to him, who was sipping his coffee rather calmly. You felt the tension and disdain for him slowly disappear and you walked in peace. Then, you turned to him with a teasing smile and asked, āSoā¦what do you think of my lovely friends?ā
Hiromiās lips twitched to a slight smirk. āI recognize Ieiri and Gojo from my statistics class. Then, we have Geto in our political theory class and heās also in my public speaking class. They seem alright. We donāt really speak.ā
You hummed and nodded. āRight.ā
He looked over at you and cleared his throat a bit, noticing the song transition. āWhat song is this?ā
You checked your phone and showed him the screenā the title of "High and Dryā appearing beneath the album cover plastered on the home screen.
He nodded. āItās good. The frontman sings really nice.ā
"Mhm... I like him too." Your eyebrow quirked up. āYou donāt seem the type to like alternative rock. I kinda doubted you'd even like this in the first place. Like yeah, this is quite basic but regardless...āĀ
You snorted. He didnāt seem the type to even like music at all and came off as someone who preferred white noise instead.
His eyebrows raised and he drank his coffee. āDo I really seem that type? Tell me, what music do you think I like?ā
You smiled. āProbably some shit like Mozart? Bach? Dunno. Something smart like that.ā
You felt your muscles relax and felt your cheeks warm. You felt comfortable in his presence despite having thoughts back to the stupid bet you made.Ā
Your heart fluttered at what happened next: he laughed, like an actual laugh.
Your eyes widened as you simply gawked at him laughing. It wasnāt a quick chuckle nor a scoff, he actually laughed.Ā
It was a melodic soundāsomething you didnāt expect from him of all people. It flowed natural and smooth despite his usually tired and deep sounding voice.Ā
You wanted to hear it again.
āReally? I seem like that? I know youāre quite the jokester but Iām not like that.ā He smiled at you, and all you did was simply gawk at him like he gained a third head.
You shrugged. āYou give off those vibes. But hey, Iād love to get music recommendations from the great Hiromi Higuruma someday. Who knows? Maybe Iāll find my next favorite song.ā You said, unaware of his raised eyebrow at your words.Ā
He didnāt seem opposed.Ā
āYou use Spotify, right? We can make a shared playlist. We can listen to it while we make some final edits to the paper.ā
āOh! Sure.ā You stopped for a second before handing him your phone where he made a blank playlist and shared his own Spotify profile.Ā
You took your phone back and raised an eyebrow at the title of the playlist. āPoli-Sci Journal Playlist? Is that the best you could come up with? How dry.ā
āYou choose then, if you have such a problem with my chosen playlist title.ā
And before you were going to respond, he spoke up. āWeāre here.ā
The casualness between you two made you feel warm. Especially considering the fact that he was now initiating it; it made you feel like you werenāt annoying him. Like the quips you let out werenāt just one-sided.Ā
Like you had nothing to really āhateā on him for. You initially hated him for being dry, but as of now he was anything but.
You were lost in thought while taking the elevator to his apartment where he tapped your shoulder.Ā
āCāmon.ā
āRight.ā
Once you reached his apartment, you got readjusted onto the couch, grabbed the coasters he had lying around in the coffee table, and placed your matcha there.Ā
He walked over to the couch and sat by you, on his phone. Surprisingly.
You smiled and attempted to peer over his shoulder to see his screen. āTalking to your girlfriend, Higuruma?ā You didn't know why that quick quip you threw at him made your chest feel heavy. Maybe it was because you were worried about that he would say... but you could always pass it off as you joking...?
His eyebrow raised at your quip and shrugged, handing you his phone. āThatās up for interpretation, I guess,ā he paused and glanced at you, smiling shyly. āHere, I added some songs to the playlist.ā
You took it and looked at it. āāLover, You Shouldāve Come Overā? āAbout Youā? 'To the End'? I think itās safe to assume you donāt have a girlfriend, but hey. These are really good songs.ā Again, your chest began to feel heavy.
āThatās up to your interpretation. But yeah, I enjoy those songs.ā His voice sounded like as if he was nervousālike he was trying something new, but you decided not to question it despite it being out of character from his usual authoritative nature.
You went back onto analyzing the paper and read itāanything to avert your attention from him and his stupid face. His phone was playing the songs the two of you had chosen on the playlist.Ā
As of now, The 1975 was playing, a popular song of their's that you've heard on the radio before, filling the slight silence in the apartment. You loved the songābut felt anxiousāyou felt antsy.
Still, one thing was on your mind: why was he being so cryptic?
You sat on the couch with him, analyzing a draft paragraph on theory of fairness when you noticed his expression changed as you leaned closer.Ā
You noted the change in his gaze from your peripheral; the manner he leaned against the edge of the couch and the way he was just looking at your figure. It was methodical, carefulāalmost reverent.
You glanced back at him. His eyes lingered on the slope of your neck, the pretty shape of your lips, to finally the allure of your eyes.Ā
The lamplight, all warm and dimmed, softened his features.Ā
In the light, he didnāt look like the same harsh classmate that executed everything he did in a precise manner.
The shadows softened his features in a way that could make angels cry and he looked like a muse for a classical Roman statue. The way his pretty lips parted like he was going to say something, the way his eyes softened under your returning gaze and the way his nose looked so sharp yet alluringly sexy.Ā
You felt a clench in your chest at the thought, at the effect he had on you. His expression was unreadable.Ā
You swallowed and cleared your throat. āThis is perfect now, Hiromi. I think that we did pretty goodā¦ā Your voice was a bit shaky, anxious-sounding.Ā
You were just blabbering about the topics covered when he suddenly interrupted you.
āYouāre always so confident, L/N.ā
You became stiff. His voice was lowerādeeper, almost seductive. It had an edge you couldnāt explain.
He tilted his head slightly and the corners of his lips curved. āIs that to ourāmy benefit?ā
The pronunciation of his words left you breathlessāthe way he said āmyā left shivers down your spine.Ā
Maybe it was the caffeine and sleep deprivation making you think in such a manner. Despite that, you couldnāt deny how aggravatingly good he looked. How much you felt drawn to himānot by lust but by the natural law of attraction.Ā
His mannerisms, his rhetoric, everything. His tone wasnāt deadpan, rather lifted by a charm you couldnāt explain.
You slightly smiled, your voice dripping with tease to appear calm. Anything to appear like he didnāt have such a visceral effect on you.Ā
āDo you want it to be, Hiromi?ā
The smooth roll of his name on your tongue felt foreign, usually being said quick and easy but now having a different weight.Ā
āYou donāt even flinch when I speak in class anymore.ā His voice was calm but there was a twinge of dissatisfaction in his words.Ā
āYou would have some type of reaction. A glance, sigh. That little frown you have when you disagree with something I want to say.ā
He leaned his head against his wrist while he looked at you with an analytical gaze. He was looking at you like you were a court case he had to revise for classāsame intense look. āNo reaction from you anymore.ā
So he does that on purpose.Ā
You shot him a grin. āBecause why not? I have nothing of substance to say. What can I say? I only argue when needed.ā
āI think I miss it,ā he muttered. His gaze averted from you and you felt a pang in your chest.Ā
āMaybe Iāve grownā He glanced at you, your words dripping with unexpected sarcasm. āYāknow, selective silence is my new thing. Gotta keep them on their toes.ā
He hummed. āIt keeps the lecture interesting when you do so. You should keep doing that. I at least knew someone paid attention to what I say.ā
You didnāt respond immediately and averted your gaze over to his collarbone out of shyness. Like if you kept staring at his eyes, you would start screaming out of embarrassment.
āI notice,ā you murmured. āYou donāt have to worry about me not listening.ā
He let out a deep exhale. āYouāre difficult, you know that? You say things and sometimes Iām not even sure you mean it.ā
You smiled. āI mean youāre not wrong. Sometimes I just talk and talkā¦ā
His gaze was still on you and you lightly laughed at your predicament. āIām shocked I didnāt talk your ear off yet. Iāve been expecting you to tell me to shut up but nothingā¦ā
āOkay. Then stop talking.ā
Your eyes widened and lips parted. His words werenāt with malice or offense rather low and breathless. Like he didnāt think about what he just said.Ā
āThat simple, hm?ā Your laugh turned almost bitter, dry. He sat closer to you and you could smell his cedarwood cologne closer to the point where your senses were drawn.Ā
āNothing with you is ever that simple.ā
Your fingers were intertwined with your red gel pen, flicking it against the edge of your fingers as you tapped it on your knee. But with his stupid words, you accidentally flung it.Ā
Such a simple move like leaning forward to grab it affected him. You moved your shoulders to prevent them from being stiff and you ran your fingers through your hair without thinking.Ā By the time you turned over to him, you met his gaze. It wasnāt just intense, rather like he was starving.Ā
āShould I be worried?ā You asked. āYou look at me the same way you look at the documents weāre covering. You got this intense look in your eye, so I canāt help but feel a little nervous.ā
He looked like he was caught off guard. āReally?ā
āMhm. Makes me feel like Iām about to be cross-examined, counselor.ā
He pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled sharply, a ghost of a laugh escaping his lips from the stupid nickname. āItās not thatā¦You justā¦throw me off.ā
Your eyebrow raised in an amused manner. āReally, Hiromi? Thatās not very academic of you, I fear. Not very Hiromi of you.ā You shot him a meek smile, like you were unsure... and quite frankly you were. It felt as if you were tethering on the edge of him telling you to either get out, or you on the verge of pouncing on him and kissing him. Hard.Ā
āYeahā¦I know.ā He let out a small, pitiful laugh. For a moment, he didnāt look at you, rather his gaze drifted to the floor. Like he was nervous.
āThe first week of class, I overheard you telling Geto that I spoke like a scary litigator.ā
You blinked. āI did?ā
He nodded. āWas that a moment where you spoke without thinking?ā
You felt that pang in your heart again. This was too intimate, too much to bear. It mirrored a confession scene like in those movies you watched and you felt nervous. You realistically had no reason to; he was someone your friends bet on, not someone you should fall for.
āWell,ā you shot him a nervous smile, āyou kind of do. And you sound professional. Cutthroat.ā
He stayed quiet until he hesitantly spoke. āIf anything, youāre the sameā¦ā
Your breath caught in your throat. That wasnāt flirtingā¦that was something else.
āI donāt really know what to do with that,ā you whispered.Ā
He looked at you again with that same intense gaze. āIāneither do Iā¦ā
The pen youād thrown earlier rolled slightly across the floor with the shift of your knee, but neither of you moved to get it.
You could feel your heartbeat in your ears and felt how warm your face had gotten.Ā
He leaned back slightly, like he was going to speak but slightly hesitated. āI thought that if I acted like this didnāt affect me then it would carry on and notā¦ā
āAnd howās that working for you now?ā you asked.Ā
He hesitated. āNot working. Not in the slightest.ā
The silence engulfed the both of you, except the sound of the train and cars outside along with the playlist still ringing on his phoneā specifically a Radiohead song.Ā
It was impossible to ignore how you felt. Impossible to ignore how he made you feel. So you leaned in ever so slightly; possibly an inch.Ā
He met you the rest of the way.Ā
Just like that. And you didnāt stop him. Not even in the slightest.
He tasted like the black coffee he drank, vanilla chapstick, and smelled like his annoyingly expensive, woody cologne that drove your senses on overdrive.Ā
His lips moved with vigor and desperation. It was a move of pure desireādifferent from pure lusting rather it being anticipation.Ā
Like heās been waiting to do this for a while. And the way he held you was like he was afraid of breaking you.
You didnāt push back rather wrapped your arms around his neck and pushed him onto you; the both of you were laid onto his couch, him on top of you while your lips moved with even more aggression.Ā
Your fingers clutched the hem of your jeans and his hand grazed your cheek. He pulled back slightly, looking in your eyes like he was looking for your reaction.
You shot him a half-frown, albeit flustered. āWas that supposed to shut me up?ā
For the first time, you felt butterflies in the manner that he smiled at you; it was cute and sexy. āIt worked. Didnāt it?ā
āIāve been thinking of doing thatā¦ā he muttered. For the first time, you donāt think youāve ever heard him sound so unsure and not confident in his words. Like he was anxious on your reaction and response.
You swallowed and let out a jagged exhale. āMe tooā¦ā
His gaze brightened towards you. Then you latched your lips onto his with just enough aggression to make him want more as he held your face with one hand and placed the other on your hip.
His hands roamed over your body, hesitant to feel you. You grabbed him by the collars of his stupid sweatshirt and felt his body weight and warmth against yours.Ā
Fuck Hiromi Higuruma.Ā
Him and his nonchalant demeanor, shitty awkward smile, shitty know-it-all personality. Even the way his hair was styled that day and his little wrist-watch pissed you off.Ā
But Godā¦you wanted to fuck him so bad in that moment. You wanted to touch and feel all of him.
āTouch meā¦please,ā you murmured in the heat of the moment. You looked at him, foggy glasses and flushed face. Your tinted lip gloss was smeared on his lips and he blinked profusely at your words.Ā
āOkay.ā His hands fiddled with the front of your jeans as he slid them off. His eyes widened at the sight of your pink panties all soaked and at your beautiful toned legs.Ā
Hiromi looked up at you for reassurance; as if he didnāt know what he was doing.Ā
You smiled. āDo you know how?ā
His face got redder and he blinked, slowly shaking his head ānoā. āIāI want to try.ā
āIāll help you.ā You grabbed his wrists and guided them to the waistline of your panties. His breath became shaky and you leaned forward to kiss him.Ā
āDo you trust me?ā You whispered, eyes filled with need.Ā
He nodded profusely. āYes.ā
You guided his dominant hand down to your folds and clit. Your fingers adjusted his own so that his thumb was on your clit while his ring and middle fingers played with your foldsāaching for his touch.Ā
āOh my Godā¦Hiroā k-keep doing thatā¦ā Your breathing became shaky as he kept rubbing at your clit and his fingers curled into you. He continued his pace while you grabbed at his wrist in reaction to his touch.Ā
You moved your hips to feel his fingers further as they thrusted inside you.Ā
Your lips latched onto his one more time; the action overtaken with lust and need, like you absolutely needed each other.
āDamn itā¦ā he muttered, feeling the way your pussy clenched around his long fingers.Ā
He brought his arousal-slicked fingers and put them in his mouth, savoring the sweet taste of your pussy.Ā
āFuckā¦Youāre so damn sweet.ā
Hiromi glanced at you again and parted his lips in hesitation. āY/N? May I try something?āĀ
You shot him a glance and nodded. āOf course.ā
Hiromi nodded, a smile playing on his lips while he leaned back, positioning his face by your bare pussy; wet, puffy, and desperate for him.Ā
Your lips parted as you felt him go down on you, calloused and large hands gripping your soft, smooth, lush thighs.Ā
āPlease let me know if Iām doing okay.ā
You fought off a smile at his words and nodded. You felt the presence of his tongue licking the slit of your pussy while you felt his nose rub on your clit.Ā
His tongue slowly entered your hole to which you gripped on his black hair in reaction while the point of his nose rubbed on your puffy clit.
Your hips bucked against his face, moving them up and down so deliciously. The sound of him slurping up your pussy drove you mad. His calloused hands gripped your thighs and his thumbs traced circles on your skin: littered with goosebumps at the sensation of him eating your pussy out.Ā
He ate you out like a starved man, gripping your inner thighs with more strength as he tilted his head while working his tongue. You felt your back arch as your breathing turned almost jagged, feeling his moans against your core.
āY-Youāre doing so good, Hiroā¦Fuck.ā You shut your eyes, feeling the way that little knot in your stomach was inching towards release the more his nose rubbed your clit and thrusted his tongue in and out like he was insatiable for your sweet taste.
You felt your legs shake over his shoulders and that knot slowly undo itself; where you came and shuddered as he slurped even louder.Ā
āDid I do alright..?ā He lifted himself up to see you; his face was absolutely pink and his glasses were resting on the top of his head. His lips and nose were glistening with your arousal and you fought off a smile at the sight.
āMore than alright.ā You moved yourself to kneel before him, working with the buckle of his belt and sliding his pants and briefs down. Your legs slightly shook at the foreign position but you began stroking his cock: large, veiny, and certainly girthy.
You took his cute strawberry-tinted tip leaking with pre in your mouth, licking it slightly. Your hand worked at the base of his cock, stroking it while his tip stayed in. The taste of his salty sweet cum in your mouth made you feel almost needy for more as you took him whole.Ā
Tears began brimming at your eyes as you looked up at him, eyes closed and lips parted as he said your name like a prayer. His breathing became more jagged and his forehead gleamed with sweat already, a string of curses leaving his lips.Ā
āMmā¦ā He squeezed his eyes shut cutely as your tongue teased his cock slightly, giving him butterfly kisses until you took him whole again. His cock twitched and you sucked him further, squeezing his thighs from how fast you were going.Ā
You slurped on his cock further, milking him dry from his release in your mouth. His hands gripped on your hair as you did so, his voice cracking with every whine, and youāve never felt more aroused.
You wiped the corners of your lips and swallowed. āNow fuck me. Please, Hiro.ā Your widened doe eyes looked up at him, still on your knees. He blinked, nodding to your immediate request.Ā
He stripped off his upper half and lifted your shirt up as well. You poked his chest for him to sit down on the couch as you unclipped your bra.
His hooded eyes were glued onto your cute breasts, perky from the cold air hitting them.Ā His gaze roamed on your body; all bare and beautiful in the dim, golden light of his lamp illuminating the place.
āGod, youāre beautifulā¦ā he muttered, his gaze mirroring that of before: analytical except there was that hint of gentleness that seemed to overtake the rest of his expression.Ā
āYou flatter me too much,ā you murmured, climbing on top of him slowly as you felt his hard on against the inner of your thighs. Your lips met his neck as you kissed it softly; simultaneously, you felt his hands roam on your body again, massaging your ass as you grind against his cock.Ā
You noticed how he swallowed and touched you like he didnāt know what to do, and you smiled.Ā
āYouāre a damn tease,ā he said, letting out a breathless laugh.
āIām aware, but I know you like it too.āĀ
You grabbed his cock from the small space between the two of you and stroked it slowly, giving it a few pumps. Your hips bucked up as you aligned the tip of his cock to your puffy, wet slit.Ā
āIāve got you,ā he whispered, looking at you as he followed your instruction. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you slowlyĀ adjusted yourself.
You moved your hips to the side and shifted your weight on your knees as you went up and down his cock. You could feel every pulsating vein and how lengthy yet filling his cock was to your tiny pussy, begging for him to fuck you.Ā
āMove. Fuck me. Please.ā You said it in such a manner that your voice cracks and whiny tone almost unlocked something in him. His slow touches on your ass became rougher, with more weight and force.
His hips went at a damn near animalistic pace, rutting into you with vigor as his hands maneuvered your ass. The pitter-patter sound of your soaked thighs meeting his echoed through the apartment loudly and that alone made you whine, feeling the sticky and hot skin with every move of the hips.
āAhhā¦F-Fucking damn it,ā you whined, scratching at his tan toned biceps; they were so defined, strong. Your face was buried in the crook of his neck as you feltĀ him pant against your warm skin. Hiromi had pressed your body closer to his, your perky breasts against his toned chest while he fucked you with finesse.
āDonāt stop, please,ā he groaned, the raspy sound of his voice leaving you with butterflies in your stomach and your pussy fluttering around his cock.
āFuckfuckfuckfuckāY/Nā¦ā he closed his eyes and held you tighter, the sensation of him bottoming out only had you squeezing your eyes shut and knees bucking. It was warm, leaving you filled up with serotonin and his cum.Ā
You kept riding him, feeling how your release was approaching and how your pussy squeezed on him. Hiromi let out such raspy moans that it led you to quicken your pace; such alluring yet seductive sounds coming out of the lips of someone you should hate.Ā
āFuckāHiromi..!ā You felt yourself soon reaching your climax and throwing your head back, wanton moans slipping from your lips as your hips gyrated back and forth slowly until you stopped.
You felt your body slump down against him, panting while a sheen of sweat decorated your skin as you both breathed heavily in attempts to catch your breath. He held you gentlyāwith such care as if you were made of sugar, about to crumble on his fingers.
His fingertips brushed on the skin of your hips while he kissed the crown of your head. You were laid on his chest and could hear how rapid his heartbeat wasāand how it was matching your own.
There was no sassy quip you could come up with nor any dramatic diss you could throw on him. It was silent between you two, except for the beeping of cars and the train outside.Ā
You felt your heart clench at your current state: clung to him while he was still inside you.
You couldnāt deny your feelings at your current situation.Ā
You attempted to get out of his grasp but he held you tighter.Ā
āStay the night,ā he whispered. It was such a simple offering but your face got warm again. You couldnāt.
āIāI donāt knowā¦ā
āPlease, love.ā
There was a beat of silence before you let out a deep exhale, his nickname causing your heart to beat faster. He spoke to you with gentleness, care. The authority in his voice that youād gotten used to was dimmed, and your heartbeat sped up.
āOkay.ā
You couldnāt deny the sensation in your chest just thinking of the vulnerable state you were in. Letting someone like him see.
Youāve come to the unfortunate conclusion that youāve gained feelingsāand now face a weird ultimatum.
Give up your pride, tell him the truth, and risk not getting that rank; or getting that rank no matter the cost.Ā
And at that moment, you didnāt know. So for then, you just stayed in his arms, and closed your eyes.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāĀ
You werenāt one to call for an emergency meeting, but this time, you had no choice but to.Ā
Shoko had barely sat down before raising an eyebrow at your nervous demeanor. āSomething happened. Didnāt it?ā Her voice was flat and deadpan.Ā
Satoru and Suguru were across from you and mid-sip their coffees before they exchanged a knowing glance. They both looked at you, your appearance and demeanor.
āYou slept with him,ā Suguru said bluntly, like he was absolutely positive and all-knowing. "...Right?"
Your lack of response gave you away and Suguru and Shoko lightly laughed while Satoruās jaw dropped.Ā
āHold upā¦ā Satoru leaned in like he was telling you a secret and shot you a shocked look. āYou fucked that guy?ā
Your face burned and you looked away. āStop...:Ā
āNo fucking way,ā he murmured, āYouāre telling me you actually slept with Higuruma? Youāre lyingā¦ā
You let out a deep exhale and buried your face in your hands. āIām not lying.ā
Suguru had an amused look on his face and pointed at the sweatshirt you were wearingāthe law firmās insignia embroidered on the left side of the chest. Specifically the law firmās insignia Higuruma interned at.Ā Ā
āThatās his. Iāve seen him wear it during midterms.ā
You groaned and covered your face meekly. āI didnāt mean for that to happen. I meanāIt just happened. And now I feel like Iām gonna be sick and I donāt know what to doā¦ā
āProbably because you like him. Like really like him,ā Shoko said, matter-of-fact.Ā
You blinked at her like she had three heads. āWhat?ā
āLook, you dense girl,ā Suguru added, āIf you didnāt, you wouldnāt be spiraling like this.ā
You slumped in your seat and groaned, your coffee untouched and cooled. āLook, Iāve been thinkingā¦about ending the bet. Like no more, calling it off for good. Heās not who I thought he was and heās really niceā¦ā
Shoko leaned back smugly and extended her hand towards Satoru, earning a glare from him. āPay up, good sir.ā
He sighed and slapped a crumpled twenty dollar bill from his wallet into her palm.Ā
Suguru chuckled. āYou were the one who said he āprobably had no gameā or am I mistaken?ā
Satoru pouted. āStill does but I guess his wholeā¦melodramatic intense poli-sci vibe worksā¦Maybe I should consider trying that.ā
Shoko snorted. āRightā¦Iām sure every girl on campus would love to hear you rant about the philosophy behind finance bros,ā to which Satoru flipped her off.Ā
They were teasing, sure, but none of it felt mean.Ā
āWe get it,ā Shoko continued, her tone softer and understanding. āYouāre not doing it for just the game anymore. Thatās understandable.ā
You sighed. āI donāt even know if he feels the same wayā¦ā
Satoru shrugged. āTell him regardless. As much of an ass that he might be, he deserves to know.ā
Suguru nodded, a knowing smile gracing his face. āWorst case? He doesnāt feel the same. But now you wouldnāt have to be on eggshells. Do it.āĀ
You nodded slowly, your stomach churning. But even if they might be stupid sometimes, your friends were definitely right.Ā
āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāā
He hadnāt texted you all week, until today.Ā
His message was brief, curtāāLetās go over final revisions before the journal deadline.ā Despite the paper already being turned in to the department head.Ā
Still, there you were: outside his apartment and cold from the wind outside. Your palms felt clammy and your hair was still wet from the shower. You did your routine the best you could for the whole week yet you couldnāt shake the feeling of the pit in your stomach residing every time you thought about him.Ā
That even caused you to sit all the way in the back during lecture; somewhere he couldnāt hear or see you.
āY/Nā¦ā Hiromi looked at you, his gaze shifting from one of hesitance to one of worry. His eyes narrowed at the way you were pacing outside of his door and went to a stop the moment he opened the door. "Are you alright? Come in."
You slowly stepped inside, your body suddenly going stiff as the intimate smell of cedarwood and eucalyptus hit you. The apartment was dimly lit, courtesy of the lamps in Hiromi's living room. Yet, everything felt different.Ā
You turned around, standing in the center of his apartment with your arms crossed to your chest. He shut the door and watched you carefully. "You...didn't bring your laptop."
"No," you said. "I didn't bring it."
You met his gaze for a second and looked away. The view of his eyes: narrowed and emotion practically leaking from his look, made you feel guiltyāsick.Ā
"Hiromi, just...please stop." You whispered softly. Despite the bustling city life of downtown, it was like everything was silent between the two of you, slow.Ā
His eyebrows slightly furrowed but he didn't move from where he was. "Okay."
You swallowed and cleared your throat. "I know this isn't about the paper," you started, your voice low and hesitant. "And I know I've been avoiding you and not speaking to you, but I didn't want to say anything until I knew how...I felt."
"There was a bet.ā
He didnāt reactānot at first.
You kept talking before you lost all your nerve. "Back when we got paired for the journal, my friends thought it would be funny if I got you to fall for me or to piss you off. And if I did, then they would help with getting a recommendation letter from Kitagawa."
You paused for a moment, swallowing the immense guilt you felt bubbling in your chest. "At first...I didn't think it would matter. You were so...closed off, focused. I thought it would be harmless and a joke."
You looked up and you felt your heart crack at his still expression; he was looking at you like you were a person in your lecture saying something stupid. And you didn't blame him, you couldn't. Not in the slightest.
"But then I got to know you. The way your mind works and the way you speak when you think I'm not listening and how kind you are and how you have such strong fucking integrity."
You looked to the side, to the living room, and exhaled sharply. "And it stopped being a joke. And I didn't know how to come clean without ruining everything, so I just...stopped. Because I likedālikeāyou. And I hated myself for it.ā
There was a pregnant pause between the both of you. It was silentābut you didn't feel any hostility. Despite that, you could practically feel your pulse in your ears.
Then he spoke, calm, collected. Like he was restraining himself.Ā
"Thank you for telling me."
You blinked. His tone was completely calm. "Y-You're not mad..?"
He let out a slow breath. "I don't know what I am right now."
Hiromi ran a hand down his face and then looked at you againānot with anger or resentment rather something close to prostration, like he was hurt.Ā
"I had a feeling something was off. Especially after that...night."Ā
He paused and ran his fingers through his hair, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose shortly after. "I didn't reach out because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I thought maybe you regretted it, because you were very quick to leave soon after."
You opened your mouth to speak, to say something, but you literally couldn't.
"I've been thinking about it all week," he said, his voice cracking the slightest amount. "And not just that night but you. The way you laugh when you're trying not to be nervous. The way you argue when you know you're rightāwhich is almost all the damn time. The way you snap your fingers when you figure something out."
Your heart felt like it was going to break.Ā
"I like you," he said, his voice slightly above a whisper. "I really like you. Even if it started with those intentions. Even if I don't know what to do with all of that. All I know is that Iāve never done something like this beforeāliked someone how I like you.ā
Your body moved before you could even process everything he just told you and took a step forward. Then you felt his arms snake around your waist, engulfing you in his pretty cederwood scent that you liked so much.
Then, he spoke softly, face buried in your hair. "For the record, if it even matters, I was going to call you. A dozen damn times."
Your lips curved into a smile. "Why didn't you?"
"Thought I would come across as too strong or pushy. Or that everything that happened was a figment of my imagination."
You snorted at his words, despite the tears brimming at the corners of your eyes. "You didn't."
He smiled tooāa real genuine smile. Not those forced ones he gives professors rather one that simply came about. Your heart clenched at the sight.Ā
Hiromi hummed and he lightly laughed before speaking. "I guess I should go thank Geto."
Your eyebrows furrowed at the mention of your friend and he laughed again. "What the hell? For what?"
"He told me to 'man the hell up because it's obvious'. He said you liked guys who made the first move."
You slightly blinked. "So that's why you were so...confident?"
His smile dropped and a look of concern flashed on his face. "Was it that bad?"
You giggled and covered your face. "A little slutty, I can't lie."
He kissed his teeth and his lips twitched. "Damn. I tried, though."
You extended your hand and held his, intertwining your fingers together. "For what it's worth, though...I liked it. Maybe a bit too much."
And then, before you could make another stupid joke, he caught your face between his warm hands, catching your lips with his in a slow kiss.Ā
You didn't pull away. And you didn't want to.
āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāā
a/n: this has def seen so many edits but i think iām finally happy with this one. i honestly donāt give a fuck if it flops, iām js very happy with this; iāve wanted to post it for this blog since im so proud of the pacing and everything after the editing (since trust me, it was so damn choppy and cringe and very obvious i wrote it in high school) hehehe no glaze. i know itās not perfect, but i tried ok ntm⦠stay tuned for my college au! choso fic thatās still facing the early drafting process!!
like the movies!
abstract: higuruma pissed you off; heās stupidly smart, punctual, and has all the qualities of being a top future lawyer (even if he seems to have the emotional intelligence of a puddle). all the reasons why you would do anything to be at the top of your shared political theory class. even if it means having to play romcom heroine with him.
tags + cw: college au! hiromi higuruma x reader; 13k w.c ; academic rivals to lovers; rom-com + music references; fluff + smut; a bit corny but that's ok; #repost from my old blog -- art by mizuart_bolillo on twt <3
aniyaps: those who remember this fic... but yeah, it's edited ! (the original draft was written in hs jesus christ... i cringed so bad editing this but it's better now, i swear) this shit was legit my magnum opus but hopefully my college au! choso fic can surpass it⦠coming soon!
āLiberty isnāt inherently owed,ā Hiromi said, tapping his black pen against the mahogany of the table. āItās a construct that is shaped and regulated by those in power and in turn, rewards control rather than fairness.ā
Higurumaās words echoed throughout the lecture hallā calm, precise, and annoyingly punctual. His tone was crisp and assertive; like listening to him was like listening to a future litigator (probably was).Ā
āTo negotiate liberty through the lens of moral fairness is to assume that the system is built on fairness. However, it is designed to maintain hierarchy.ā
You thought the pen you held was about to explode considering that you gripped it so tight, your knuckles were turning white. You didnāt even notice the way your jaw clenched at his words.Ā
Itās just that the bastard kept speaking like he knew everything. But thatās the thing. He wasnāt wrongāand that sole fact pissed you off to no avail.
Hiromi Higuruma is smart as hell, top of your class too. However, despite all his academic acclaim, unfortunately, the same praise can't be applied to his... affinity for social interaction. Even a goddamn puddle of spilled coffee would be more charasmatic and warm than him.
For the entire term, you donāt think youāve ever seen him raise his voice or even laugh at anything, despite your professorās occasional corny jokes that you canāt help but laugh out of sheer pity. He just sat there like a statue, except for the occasional clicking of the pen that would also, quite frankly, irk you (maybe you should really reevaluate your anger issues like your friends have told you. Or maybe it's just him.
You constantly hear about the praise he receives, despite not having some courses together; always mentioned for being ābrilliantā and āahead of the curveā. Obviously, given the fact he can be quite a prick, and the fact that he is your "academic rival" as you'd put it, of course you were irritated.
He always came to lecture dressed like he had a deposition afterward. Ironed his clothes perfectly pressed, and his plain expression looked like he was bored with everything.Ā
That shit drove you absolutely insane.
Not to mention, that he simply seems conceitedācocky. He doesnāt greet anyone, and apparently during group presentations, he does his part and leaves everyone else scrambling.Ā
You hated vain people like that. Hated people that thought they were above others and acted that way.
āInteresting, Higuruma. Very interesting.ā Your professor said, looking devastatingly bored. āDoes anyone care to respond? Any commentary or inquiry?ā Again, your professor's tone seriously sounded quite monotone. Granted, this was a 9 A.M..
Suguru, your friend beside you, shot you a glance that was practically screaming ādonāt do itā.Ā
Suguru, along with almost everyone in the class, were already aware of Higurumaās antics. That is who he was known as: the know-it-all that always had his hand raised.
He was also unfortunately aware of your disdain for the guy; how he aggravated you with his constant "raise of the hand" and refusal for human interaction in the hallways.Ā To be fair, he didnāt even want to take the class but had to as a philosophy major. However, that isnāt to say he didnāt find your one-sided beef with the guy not entertaining. Just the sheer mention of Higuruma had you fuming. It was fucking hilarious.
āY/N. Donāt,ā he whispered.
Too late.
You already raised your hand with a prissy little smile etched on your face.Ā
Maybe it was the fact that you woke up late, got your coffee order done wrong, and the fact that you lost your train card. But you werenāt about to deal with Higuruma getting the last word like always.
You didn't back down. And you didn't want to (unfortunately, you were also too prideful to put your hand down given the fact it shot up so fast).
āYes,ā you said, clearing your throat. āWith respect, Higurumaās argument assumes that liberty is transactionalāthat it is something handed down or withheld depending on someoneās access to institutional power, is not libertyās fault rather those systems.ā
You noted the way Higuruma turned to look at you from the front of the lecture hall. He didnāt even look at you with disdain rather interest. His gaze towards you lacked the usual judgement it had when someone said something stupid or redundant during class and his eyebrows were pinched together.Ā
He was listening intently to what you were saying.
āRousseau would argue that liberty must exist independently from power structures and when it doesnāt, that just means the social contract is brokenānot that liberty itself is just leverage. Then that means, we risk reducing liberty to a tool of oppression rather than a foundational principle worth reclaiming.ā
You could hear Suguruās slight chuckle at your words, challenging Mister āDefinitely-Going-To-A-Top-10-Law-Schoolā. He looked at the rest of the class to notice that everyone was looking at youāand how could they not?Ā
You were the first person to really challenge something āthe genius of the classā said. And you kind of had a point with your words?Ā Oh, how could you. How utterly preposterous.
You shot your professor and Higuruma a smile. Higuruma tilted his head towards you almost innocently. Like he wasnāt aware that your words were dripping with malice and opposition.Ā
One to nothing.
Your professor went back to pacing and his expression ceased from looking bored. āYou have a point, Miss L/N. Very valid challenge to Mister Higuruma and his commentary. Now back to page 466ā¦ā
Suguru snickered as he tapped his pen on the table. āThat is probably the first time in the semester that someoneās gone up against him during lecture time. How nice, Y/N.ā
āYeah. No thanks to you,ā you sneered, gaining post-discussion clarity. Ā
However, you never thought that you would really interact with Hiromi Higuruma again after that. He was an uptight know-it-all with his personality depth equivalent to white-out, and you purposefully avoided him even before all of this. Even so, he had his own pretentious clique of future law school students in his work study and internship.Ā
To be fair, the only moments you did was the occasional disagreement in class after the first time, however that itself was rare.
But here you were, emailed a few weeks later regarding your selection to the prestigious school journal for the political science columnāand being paired with that fucker.Ā
The universeāor rather your professorāmust hate you.
āCongratulations! You have been selected by the Liberal Arts department to co-author the semester's Political Science journal piece. The assigned topic is Civil Liberties in Post-Democratic Systems, and the writers will be Y/N L/N andā¦Hiromi Higuruma.ā
You tapped on your phone in disdain when you finished reading the email. āI just got asked to write something for the Political Science journal piece for the LAS department,ā you scoffed. "What a start to my weekend."
The setting you were at was pretty loud, dimly lit, and typical for a Friday at your campus bar. You were already a few drinks in when you got the notification alerting you of the dreaded, fucking email.Ā
You took a dramatic swig of your beverage and placed it on the table. āYou three are smartāto some extent. Tell me why I, such a sophisticated scholar, am being punished like this.āĀ
Suguru raised an amused eyebrow at your reaction and laughed. āYou literally got into the most competitive writing fellowship on campus and youāre calling it punishment? God, youāre such a piece of work.ā
Shoko nodded, taking a drag of her cigarette. āFuck, are you drunk already?ā
You frowned and unlocked your phone to show them the email. Satoru took your phone dramatically and cleared his voice like he was reciting a Shakespearean poem at a slam poetry event.Ā
āCongratulations, Miss Y/N. Yada yada blah blah, selected for Civil Libertiesā¦Writers will beā¦Oh...ā Satoru hummed before letting out a hearty guffaw.Ā āAre you serious? Youāre stuck with Hiromi Higuruma of all people? Holy shit, these jokes write themselves.ā
"Shut up," you groaned, covering your face and hitting your phone on your forehead in an attempt to look dramatic. āNow I'm stuck with a guy that has a damn superiority complex? How thrilling.ā
āAwh. Iām sorry, Y/N,ā Suguru said, mock sympathy dripping from his words.Ā āYou know how that guy is, but I canāt lie, this is quite entertaining.ā
Satoruās eyebrow quirked up. āThe same Higuruma in your Social Justice 201 class who made Yuki cry? Didnāt he say she ādidnāt belong in the classā over a misunderstanding?ā
Shoko laughed. āOh my god. I remember when you told me the story about him submitting an entire paper with case citations for a damn theory class? God, Iām not in liberal arts but that sounds insane. Heās already quite the character in our stats class. Right, Satoru?ā
Satoru laughed and nodded. "That guy might be a bigger piece of work than you, Y/N, and that says a lot."
You paused for a moment before really thinking; you didnāt hate the guy based on everything he did⦠some things were ratherā¦
āFuck, I canāt even lie⦠but that whole ābeing preparedā thing is hot if he isnāt being pretentious about it.ā
The three of your friends went silent before Satoru let out a giggle. You didnāt even catch what you said out loud until Satoru spoke to call you out.
āSoā¦youāre sayinā youāre into him? Ouu shit...ā
Suguru let out a damn giggle at your misfortune. āYou bitch about him all the time during class and now this happens to you? Ā This couldnāt get better.ā Shoko hummed, "oh but it could... Let's just see how Y/N gets after this."
You flicked Satoruās forehead and frowned. āNo. Iām not into him, Iām into winning. Iām into being the first in that class because I need a recommendation letter from that professor.ā
Then you turned to the others. āYou two are really, really full of shit.ā
āWouldnāt you just need a good relationship with the teacher to do so?ā Shoko asked.
You shook your head. āNo. Heās putting a cap for 3 recommendation lettersāor the top person in each of the classes he teaches.ā
Shoko nodded. āGotcha. So youāre into leverage? Smart, smart.ā
You nodded. āExactly. Iām gonna make him so irritated that heāll drop out of the journal and itās gonna be all me. Then Iāll be at that Top Three.ā
āYou sound like a movie villain, holy fuck.ā
āOrā¦ā Satoru said, swirling his drink.
āOh no.ā
āYou seduce him.ā He said, deadpan. It was quiet for a moment between the four of you, with everyone looking at Satoru like he had gained a third head.
āFrom all the shit youāve ever said, Satoru,ā Shoko laughed. āThis might be the smartest yet most stupid idea youāve ever come up with.ā
You frowned. āYou too? Youāre better off watching 10 Things I Hate About You or How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days? I fear thereās no romance happening between me and that guy.ā
Satoru giggled. āNo, this would be ā10 Objections On How To Seduce A Poli Sci Studentā or I donāt know. Whatever legal jargon you future lawyers use.ā
āThink about it,ā Suguru said, taking a drag of his cigarette. āThese guys arenāt wrong and imagine if he did fall for you. This might surprise you to know, but I know some of his āfriendsā and overheard them talk about his type.ā
āHis type?ā Your eyes narrowed at him. Hiromi Higurumahas friends? He has an ideal type? Fuck, wait, why are you even curious about this?
Suguru nodded and dabbed some of the ash onto the little ashtray beside him. āMhm. Heās into those political science girls. And oh my God! Look! You major in that! Well, what a coincidence.ā
You snorted. āUh huh, tough shit. You forget I minor in Economics too... Yāknow, Iāve been thinking of what he reminds me of. Heās like, very Miles Edgeworth in real lifeāand not in a good way. In a bad way. Very.ā
āBut, you could.ā Satoru grinned. āYouāve got the looksābecause youāre pretty, no weird shitāthe brains, and ability to say those weird Latin legal terms without brutally mispronouncing them. He wouldnāt stand a damn chance. Youāre gonna have that guy wrapped around your slimy little finger.ā
āGross... but on some actual serious shit, I don't even think he is capable of romance,ā you said meekly. āWhat if heās likeā¦Gee, I donāt know? Not interested in dating? Iāve never heard of him ever dating anyone. Heās probably better off with his books.ā
You then shrugged. āBesides, heās not my type. Iām not into over-the-top bastards who have an insanely inflated ego.ā
Your eyes widened at Satoru letting out the biggest cackle of the night, his face practically turning red like you said the funniest thing ever. āAre you serious? Letās be honest, your type is shit. Higuruma is a much better option in comparison to the other two guys youāve dated: stupid and utterly incompetent. Let's not forget Naoya, now."
He had a pointā¦Ā
āYouāve got nothing to lose, Y/N.ā Shoko said. āLetās make a bet.ā
You felt your stomach drop at what she said and feared for the worst. āUh huh. What type of bet are you trying to make?ā
She leaned in and put her hand on your shoulder mockingly. āYou make Hiromi HigurumaāMister Top-of-the-Classāfall for you by the end of the semester. Weāll give you 400 bucks from all of us.ā
Suguru shrugged. āI catch him taking a little look at you occasionally. A little here and there. Youāre like practically a quarter there.ā
Satoru snickered at your reaction. āAwh, this is so like the movies. So so cute!ā
You scoffed at the proposition and at the shitty nicknames given to the guy. āHe looks at everyone like heās about to cross-examine them. Donāt start with that bullshit.ā
āThatās what makes it fun,ā Suguru said.
āLetās raise the stakes a bit, then.ā Satoru raised his finger like a little kid attempting to call the teacherās attention and cleared his throat.Ā
āFather dearest is planning to hire some undergrad student shadows for the legal department at our humble family finance group.ā
You froze. āAre you suggestingā¦Corporate law experience..?ā
While Satoru pretends to be ādumbā, he comes from the Gojo financial conglomerate. Heās the epitome of being a ādaddyās moneyā ātrust fundā baby.
He smiled. āPrecisely. Itās paid, prestigious according to some accounts, and exclusive, according to my uncle. But you already have me. He recently told me that they're planning to receive applications and well, you'll be a favorite considering you have me."
āAnd if I lose..?ā
Shoko shot you a saccharine smile. āYou do our stats homework for the rest of the semester. All of it.ā
You frowned, weighing the options of attention from your potential-future legal peers to stats homework. You hate that class. It was too annoying.
Higurumaās face flashed in your mind for a second; his stupid thin wire-frame glasses and that stupid fucking face he makes when someone says something obviously dumb in class. His cocky demeanor also came to mind, making you frown.
You let out a deep exhale. āFine, but when I succeedāand trust me, I willāI expect all of you to kneel to me during graduation.ā
They smiled.Ā
āYouāve got it.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāĀ
When you entered, the library smelled like old parchment, the smell of wood polish, and the presumable tears of first year students getting through exams. The sun gleamed over the area of the library from the large windows overlooking the rest of campus.
You glanced at your wristwatch and looked at the time, it being 4:25 in the afternoon.Ā
You had emailed Higuruma during your stats class to meet when the afternoon lecture was done at the library at 4:35.
The window seat with the two outlets was bare and you decided to station there while waiting for him.Ā
You placed your things and were finally starting to accommodate yourself and establish your amazing intellectual dominance with your long and cluttered notes. You typed away on a starting document, sharing him on it and sipping on your sadly overpriced matcha from the cafe by campus.
However, just when you were starting to find a bit of solace in your typing and rich matcha, you felt a shift and heard the doors clash open rather dramatically.
He was here.
Your eyes shifted in front of you, where you spotted Hiromi walking towards youāwalking like he just walked out of a courtroom where his client was just fucking sentenced to death.Ā
Yeah, that type of ominous and serious presence.
He was dressed in a dark grey turtleneck, dark colored slacks, and some expensive looking, black leather loafers from the looks of it. And worst of all, he had his stupid little leather satchel that screamed āfuture pretentious law studentā.
He looked like he jumped out of The Secret History; dark academia aesthetic and all.
āL/N,ā he said, acknowledging you while he set his things down across from you on the table.Ā
āHiguruma,ā you replied, not looking up from your laptop in fear of looking him in the eye.Ā
A little beat of silence passed amongst the two of you where he spokeāthe same pretentious authority he usually spoke with. āI didnāt expect you to be early.ā
āI didnāt expect you to show up at all, quite frankly,ā you muttered, taking a sip of your matcha before realizing you actually said that out loud.Ā
You werenāt wrong when saying that. Amongst your peers in your Political Theory class, Higuruma had quite the reputation for being neglectful to his peers when it came to group projects, or so youāve heard.
āMay I look at these?ā You felt relief that he ignored your stupid little quip and you nodded, sliding your notes from class over to him.Ā
You felt your face get warm and looked up to see him already reading your notes; he was taking out a legal pad and fucking Levenger fountain pens. His stupid expression was neutral but focusedāanalysing your notes.Ā
How annoying.
āSo, I thought we could start with outlining the major arguments and split the sections based on the scope,ā he said bluntly. Despite Higuruma being your age, you felt like you were speaking to one of your professors due to his demeanor; even more the reason to mess with him.
āNo foreplay?ā Your voice sounded more deadpanned than usual, which wasnāt on purpose. It slipped out, causing your face to turn warm, but it proved useful when it came to being the cause for Higurumaās expression to be anything but a stone-cold one.
His expression faltered and his eyebrow twitched; the pen he was holding had its ink bleeding through the pages of his legal pad while he appeared to be thinking on what to say to your interesting choice of words.
He cleared his throat awkwardly. ā...Excuse me?ā
You shot him a smile: sweet and extremely fake. āMetaphorically, I meant. I was thinking of starting with a basic thesis breakdown before jumping into the actual structure of what we were going to discussābefore we get too far ahead of ourselves. Then, obviously, construct our abstract of the paper so execution can go smoothly.ā
He stared at you blanklyālike he didnāt know what to say again, before returning to his own notes and placing yours back to your side of the table. āYour choice of metaphor is quiteā¦strange.ā
You kissed your teeth and nodded. āYup. I get that a lot. What can I say?ā
Hiromi paused and glanced up at you, his gaze lingering a bit longer than expected for someone like himālike he was almost examining your face? You felt like a witness in court being cross-examined.
Your eyebrow raised. āProblem, Higuruma?ā
āNoā¦ā he said, leaning his head onto his wrist. āJust confirming that youāre as unconventional as everyone saysā¦ā
Your smirk faltered and you leaned back in your chair. So the little bastard talks bad about you?
āThat sounds like gossip. Didnāt take you for the type to indulge in that, Higuruma.ā His expression was rather plain as his eyes were glued onto his screen as he wrote some things down in his legal pad.
āIām not,ā he said simply. āBut your name has come up before.ā
You blinked.Ā
What the fuck?Ā
You scoffed. āThe hell does that mean?ā
Higuruma didnāt answer, rather just turned his folder and passed you a printed outline of a running bibliography with disgustingly clean formatting of his APA citations and the precis on what he wrote. They were color coded by ideology and in alphabetical order with a key up top.
Fucking show-off.
You narrowed your eyes at him and scoffed a bit. You had barely gotten the email two days prior and he had a running bib that was 7 pages long front and back.Ā
āYou do realize that this is just a student journal piece, right? Not a damn dissertation?ā
He didnāt react, but instead, continued looking over his notes and typing some notes on his MacBook. āIf you are going to write about something like post-democratic systems, itās better to be precise and do it properly.ā
You rolled your eyes at his stiff response and took the outline he placed on the table. From your peripheral, you noted how his eyes went to you and how he watched you do it.
You couldnāt help but admire the organizationāhow neat, logical, and useful it was.Ā
It was, unfortunately, useful and easy to work with.
āOkay,ā you began. āIāll take the opening section of the paper and look at Hobbes and Rousseauāsome basics and classic theory. You can take modern structures. So like Hayek, Schmitt, and all that constitutionalism shit you obsess over during lecture.ā You said the last part rather low in hopes that he wouldnāt hear you.
You looked up to see his expression and his lips twitched upward; he almost cracked a smile. Almost.Ā
āFair.ā
His tone was plain like always, but with a twinge of something else. You felt your stomach turn... For some reason you didn't feel irritated rather...
Your eyes widened a bit. āYou didnāt argue.ā
āYeah,ā he said. āI was hoping you would tell me about the structure. It helps me really look at what youāre good at so we could work together accordingly.ā
What? He was waiting for you to announce who took what? And he thinks you're good at it? Isnāt he just a prick who doesnāt take that into consideration?Ā
Maybe he thinks youāre competent. You both were chosen and recommended by a professor. But he just admitted to talking shit about you?Ā
Or maybe Higuruma just doesnāt know how to word āI think youāre so awesome and deserve the first spotā properly.
His comment caught you off guard and you looked at him for a moment, his eyes already on you.Ā
āCareful, Higuruma. I could mistake that for a compliment.ā
āI know.ā
You stared at him and maintained eye contact before you dropped your gaze back to your laptop and began using the running bib he had given you for some reference. It was a mix of some classic theories from class up to some other commentaries from different professors about this topic from other universities.Ā
But he almost complimented you?!
Shady fucking bastard.
Minutes passed and he didnāt joke, flirt, nor comment. But you felt on edge, like if you breathed too heavily, he could say something. However, you maintained your rhythm, not speaking a word until you were kicked out of the library and you ended your meeting with a simple ābye, see you next classā.Ā
He was rather dry and had you on the edge of your seat, and you hated that with a passion.
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You felt like the sun was going to blind you. You had forgotten your contacts and dealt with your glasses, with the sun specifically shining and reflecting on the glass of your lenses.
But it felt wrong feeling that way; despite it being rather chilly outside and perfect for sweater weather.Ā It was a nice dayāweather wise.
The lecture hall for your Political Inquiry class was still locked and you waited outside, leaning against the ivy-ridden, red brick wall of the building, looking at your surroundings. Your gaze followed the occasional cyclist and jogger who went by the trail in front of you.Ā
You felt your eyes close and you let out a deep exhale. The thought of what happened yesterday left you anticipatingāfor what? You didnāt know.Ā
You never had the chance to properly digest the fact you actually interacted with Higuruma alone. Maybe it was overthinking but, you couldnāt help but feel rather weird about it. Despite the initial joking with your friends, in hindsight, you didnāt know how to feel.
It wasnāt an unpleasant encounter, despite his unexpected quips here and there. Maybe you could work with him. But what about the bet? You needed that recommendation letter.
āL/N?ā Your eyes flickered to the ground, meeting the sight of black leather loafers in front of you. You looked up to see Higuruma, pushing his wire glasses up the bridge of his nose and carrying a textbook. āWhat are you doing out here?ā
āIāI meanā¦lecture?ā You stammered, feeling your face warm for no reason. āWhy? The lecture hall is closed andāā
āDidnāt you catch the email? Our professor wanted to meet in the library. I was just passing by to go.ā His tone wasnāt mean but dryāclinical and superficial. Like you were another stupid classmate who didnāt know the difference between political ideals.
You narrowed your eyes at him, his expression plain. āIā¦didnāt know. Thanks, I guess, for letting me know. Unless youāre joking with me.ā
He shook his head. āIām not.ā
You kissed your teeth and nodded. āAlright.ā
You began walking down the trail and noticed how he walked beside you. The creeping heat in your cheeks returned and you felt like you couldnāt speak.Ā
He walked with such authority, like he was headed to a courtroom. And he smelled goodāmaybe cedarwood? You reached in your sweaterās pocket and pulled out your AirPods to cancel out the silence.
āWhat do you have so far for the paper?ā
Your eyebrows raised and you hesitated. āI have a good 4 paragraphs done so far, but Iām definitely going to revise it when I get back. Iām definitely gonna add some structuralist angles and Rousseau. Then it would be much more intuitive.ā
You noticed the manner in which his brow twitched. He hummed in acknowledgment to your words before he spoke up.Ā
āYou write veryā¦defensively,ā he said looking at you sideways. āItās not bad.ā
You frowned. āGee, thanks.ā
āIām not trying to offend you. It means youāre smart in your own way.ā
You fought off a smile. āIs thatā¦a compliment?ā
āAn observation.ā His tone was flat, forcing you to laugh out of pure awkwardness. āYouāre quoting? Correct?ā
You snorted. āOf course. This isnāt a damn Buzzfeed article.ā
Then you saw how the corners of his mouth twitched like he was going to smile at your quip. āThatāsā¦fair.ā
You took out your AirPod from your ear and placed it in the case snug in your pocket as you walked. Maybe he wasnāt as unbearable as always.Ā
āYou said youāre starting with Hobbes, right?ā
āMhm. Framework-wise and then Iāll tie it all together. You?ā
He nodded. āWell, Iām building off that with Hayek and market structure in constitutional states.ā
You blinked. āThatāsā¦not what I expected.ā
āWhat did you expect?ā
You shrugged. āI donāt know. I guess something more cutthroat. Thatās how you are in class anywayā¦ā
āSo are you,ā he shot back plainly. Like his words were so normal in the context of who he was.Ā
You stopped walking for a moment, your eyebrows furrowed while your mouth was agape at his bluntness. āExcuse me?ā
āWell, I havenāt not noticed the fact that youāre the only person in our Political Theory who has had something to say to my commentary. Iām pretty sure everyone else doesnāt even care to be there.ā
You felt your ego rise and a twinge of disbelief. Since when was he so direct?Ā
āRightā¦so you remember what I said?ā
āIt wasnāt a bad argument.ā
āUh huhā¦Iām honored.ā
The sound of your sneakers clashed with the sound of his sleek loafers on the pavement and before you knew it, Higuruma had tapped you on the shoulder, phone in hand.Ā
āWould it be alright if I got your number?ā
Your eyebrows furrowed at his words and he noticed. āExcuse me?āĀ
He blinked profusely and motioned his hands awkwardly. āStrictly for coordination. Email would be too tedious, especially with our course load. This would be the most convenient for the both of us.ā
You hesitated for a moment before taking it. āSure. But if you send me some political Instagram Reel bullshit at night, consider yourself blocked.ā
A slight twinge of a smile graced his face before he nodded. āNoted.ā
You smirked and shoved the AirPod back in your ear as the two of you walked again in peaceful silence to your lecture.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāĀ
āWhat do you think of the edits so far?āĀ
Higuruma is a punctual man, you were already aware of that. So much so that he established a schedule to meet twice a week every week for the next month and a half or so.Ā
Thatās how you found yourself constantly leaving to the library once the afternoon lecture was over. And how you found yourself currently revising his part of the paper on his couch. The library was currently under renovations so you felt a bit surprised that Higuruma waited for you outside your stats class to āwalk over to his placeā to revise the paper.Ā
He had said it in such a calm and casual voice that you didnāt think anything of it. That was until you actually were in front of his apartment door, waiting for him to unlock it and enter.Ā
You were in your academic rivalās apartment. Alone. With him.
This was the last time you were going to revise this since the term was almost over. All that was left was submitting the piece and your final.
The actual apartment wasnāt as cold and scary as you thought. You spotted some pictures of him with his parents and what appeared to be a little novelty figure of a chess rook on a table, along with a little action figure. His apartment was also littered with bookshelves that were aesthetically organized and it was nice.Ā
Not what you thought. You imagined something painfully boring and beige, yet this was actually depicting some type of personality.Ā
You held your red pen and printed copy of your piece tightly, analyzing the structuring of his paragraphs while he did the same to yours.Ā
āFor your Rousseau part,ā he started,Ā āit needs a bit of restructuring. He sounds like he contradicts himself when speaking about natural liberty and civil liberty. The transition is too abrupt. Change it. Other than that, your argument is fairly strong and good.ā
You narrowed your eyes at him from across the couch despite the twinge in your heart from his clear compliment about your writing. The two of you had been making final revisions for hours and you yawned, ignoring his commentary.
āHiromi. Do you ever just turn it off? Like just relax...Okay?ā Now you were full-on ignoring him, yet now, you have gotten to the point where you had gotten comfortable enough to do so. "Do you ever just... get on social media and talk shit or something? Reddit, Quora, maybe you're a little freak and you use Twitter."
His lips curved to a slight smile. āTo do that, Iād need to be on social media constantly in the first place.ā
You snorted. āOh right. God forbid you donāt have the masses begging to access a piece of your intricate little mind.ā
āYou seem to have access just fine.ā
You glared at him to which he looked at you deadpanned and covered his face with the printed paper he held. His ears were pink.
That was something in your mind too when it came to Higuruma, it was like a switch flipped.
When you had first met with him to look at the paper in the library, he was simply stoic and quite dense, dressed like he was to go to a courtroom after your meeting. But now, he still dressed like a pretentious law student, but he almost seemed like he was getting more casual.Ā
His attire shifted from Oxfords to casual Asics or Nike shoes, and from his knit sweaters and cardigans to sweatshirts from your college and such.
He was less blunt and āold manā when he spoke to you. Now, he actually sounded like someone in your age range rather than an 80 year old professor on his 5th divorce (a.k.a, your current Political Theory professor). His tone shifted from completely academic to more human.
You had even started calling each other by your first names.Ā
Truth be told, youāve really gotten quite comfortable with him.
You looked over to check the time on your phone, it being around 8:50.
āWeāre probably gonna be here for a while, and I don't think you'd kick me out so suddenly. Itās the weekend tomorrow,ā you said, yawning. āLetās get some caffeine. I saw a coffee shop by here. Letās go.ā
To your surprise, Hiromi didnāt seem bothered by it. He hummed in agreement and nodded.Ā
He got up from the carpet and stretched. āOkay. Let me get my wallet and keys.ā
You didnāt know why, but you felt your heart slightly flutter at the sound of his raspy voice. Even more so when you accidentally looked at him while he stretched and got the view of his toned lower stomach as his sweater lifted.Ā
Itās not like his outfit was anything out of the ordinary either; he wore his regular old purple sweatshirt that had your college crest embroidered on it and regular old jeansāhowever, it did look good on him. It...kinda...really did.
God, you felt like a 19th century prude. Seriously? Getting flustered over his lower stomach and boxers peeking out? Your ex-boyfriend would strip and you wouldn't feel anything but now?
āAre you okay, Y/N?ā Hiromi looked at you concerned, keys and wallet in hand as he was putting on his shoes by the door of his apartment. You were still on the couch, head against your wrist and daydreaming.
You felt your face get warm and nodded profusely, grabbing your own wallet beside your phone on the coffee table and putting on your own shoes. āYeah. Letās go.ā
The apartment complex he lived in was rather quaint, taking a good 3 minutes to get to the ground level from the emergency stairs. The cafe itself was also quite a short distanceāonly being some 4 blocks away. It seemed familiar but maybe it was because you were familiar with the area already.
The smell of coffee beans and lavender hit you while the two of you went over to the barista taking orders.Ā
āWhat can I get you two?ā They asked, to which Hiromi answered.Ā
āMay I get a medium black coffee and a small iced matcha with brown sugar?ā
ā15.98, please.āĀ
He handed the barista his card and waited for the transaction to pass where you then found yourself waiting for the order with him by the pick-up area.Ā
It was so quick, you didnāt know what to say.
āYou remembered my order? I must be spending too much time with you,ā you joked. āYou didnāt have to pay. I could have.ā
He didnāt say anything and you just went on your phone to see what games you could play while you waited. You felt a strange feeling at the fact that he remembered your order; so mundane and small yetā¦it left you with a weird feeling. You just couldnāt explain what it was. You felt warm.
Maybe it was courtesy on his behalf. You didnāt knowājust that it felt a bit casual.
You placed an AirPod in your ear while waiting for the order to be completed, scrolling through your playlists. The cafe was littered with college students in presumably similar situations to finish their own individual papers.Ā
Maybe it was a bit of a cringe thing, but you began humming the lyrics of the song you listened to, and then noticed Hiromi moving a bit to look at you, specifically looking at the AirPod peeking through your hair.Ā
āWhat is it today?ā He inquired, making note of your habit of listening to your AirPods when you werenāt speaking in public.Ā
āOh. Itās The Smiths.ā
Hiromi nodded slowly before he said something that nearly shook you to your core. āMay I?ā
You blinked slightly at his words.Ā
Never did you think someone like Hiromi Higurumaāthe person you were in such a weird frenemy-ship with, would ask for an AirPod of all things. Something so mundane yet soā¦intimate?Ā Or maybe you were over-thinking... What the hell?
āYou want one?ā
He didnāt verbally respond, rather extended his hand towards you. You looked at his blank face then at his handābig, callousedāand took out your AirPod case to which you gave him the left one and placed it on his palm.Ā
He gently tucked it into his ear and listened to the music resuming for the both of you. It played a song off The Smithsās The Queen Is Dead albumāone of your favorites. You looked over to see Hiromi, slightly smiling.Ā
It was calm and gentle. You felt oddly at peace with the man you nearly professed your hatred to at your first meeting.Ā
You really were calm right now, really. But thenā
āYou bitch!āĀ
Holy shit, you thought your heart was about to jump out of your chest.Ā
You turned around to see lo and behold, your best friends Satoru, Shoko, and Suguru appeared out of thin air. In the fucking flesh. In the cafe right by Hiromiās apartment.Ā Ā
No wonder it felt so familiar. Those three idiots lived nearby.
āNo fucking way,ā you muttered.Ā
Hiromi looked confused and opened his mouth to say something until he noticed your order was ready and walked over to get it, where your triple threat set of friends walked over to you. Except from what you can tell, Suguru was missing, and was rather, next to your project partner.
āYouāre such a slut.ā Satoru said mockingly, pointing at your outfit up and down while giggling like a damn moron.Ā
āOh shut it.ā You sneered. He was right to note your outfitābut you swear it wasnāt to seduce Hiromi. Not in the slightest. The most it did was showcase cleavage.
āTomorrowās laundry day, you idiots.ā You heard Hiromi cough from beside you, covering his face as he turned around with Suguru beside him.
You felt on edge considering their expressions; with Suguru having a smile while Hiromi looked rather contemplative. His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips were pursed, almost like he was anxious.
Shoko snickered. āItās okay, girl.ā
āWell, Satoru, Shoko, we should leave these two on their date. Wouldnāt wanna interrupt.ā Suguru said, a sly smile playing on his lips.Ā
āStudy break,ā you corrected, feeling your face become flushed and warm.Ā
Hiromi nodded and you noticed the way that your friends smiled at each other and exchanged knowing glances.
His face was turning pink.
āOkay then. Bye, Y/N. Bye, Higuruma. Have fun.ā Satoru called out. Rather ominously.Ā
You eyed the three of them as they left the cafe and waved at you from the window.Ā
āAre those your friends?ā Hiromi quietly asked, leaning over to see if he could still spot your friends. His hand was awkwardly placed near his face where it was slightly covered.
āUnfortunately,ā you said with an annoyed smirk. āI swear that their combined IQ is the equivalent that of a carrotās.ā
You heard him let out a slight chuckle. āGotcha.ā
He handed you your drink and the both of you walked over to leave the cafe after that strange encounter. You still were sharing your AirPods with him and the melody of a random, you were pretty sure, Radiohead song filled the silence.Ā
You glanced over to him, who was sipping his coffee rather calmly. You felt the tension and disdain for him slowly disappear and you walked in peace. Then, you turned to him with a teasing smile and asked, āSoā¦what do you think of my lovely friends?ā
Hiromiās lips twitched to a slight smirk. āI recognize Ieiri and Gojo from my statistics class. Then, we have Geto in our political theory class and heās also in my public speaking class. They seem alright. We donāt really speak.ā
You hummed and nodded. āRight.ā
He looked over at you and cleared his throat a bit, noticing the song transition. āWhat song is this?ā
You checked your phone and showed him the screenā the title of "High and Dryā appearing beneath the album cover plastered on the home screen.
He nodded. āItās good. The frontman sings really nice.ā
"Mhm... I like him too." Your eyebrow quirked up. āYou donāt seem the type to like alternative rock. I kinda doubted you'd even like this in the first place. Like yeah, this is quite basic but regardless...āĀ
You snorted. He didnāt seem the type to even like music at all and came off as someone who preferred white noise instead.
His eyebrows raised and he drank his coffee. āDo I really seem that type? Tell me, what music do you think I like?ā
You smiled. āProbably some shit like Mozart? Bach? Dunno. Something smart like that.ā
You felt your muscles relax and felt your cheeks warm. You felt comfortable in his presence despite having thoughts back to the stupid bet you made.Ā
Your heart fluttered at what happened next: he laughed, like an actual laugh.
Your eyes widened as you simply gawked at him laughing. It wasnāt a quick chuckle nor a scoff, he actually laughed.Ā
It was a melodic soundāsomething you didnāt expect from him of all people. It flowed natural and smooth despite his usually tired and deep sounding voice.Ā
You wanted to hear it again.
āReally? I seem like that? I know youāre quite the jokester but Iām not like that.ā He smiled at you, and all you did was simply gawk at him like he gained a third head.
You shrugged. āYou give off those vibes. But hey, Iād love to get music recommendations from the great Hiromi Higuruma someday. Who knows? Maybe Iāll find my next favorite song.ā You said, unaware of his raised eyebrow at your words.Ā
He didnāt seem opposed.Ā
āYou use Spotify, right? We can make a shared playlist. We can listen to it while we make some final edits to the paper.ā
āOh! Sure.ā You stopped for a second before handing him your phone where he made a blank playlist and shared his own Spotify profile.Ā
You took your phone back and raised an eyebrow at the title of the playlist. āPoli-Sci Journal Playlist? Is that the best you could come up with? How dry.ā
āYou choose then, if you have such a problem with my chosen playlist title.ā
And before you were going to respond, he spoke up. āWeāre here.ā
The casualness between you two made you feel warm. Especially considering the fact that he was now initiating it; it made you feel like you werenāt annoying him. Like the quips you let out werenāt just one-sided.Ā
Like you had nothing to really āhateā on him for. You initially hated him for being dry, but as of now he was anything but.
You were lost in thought while taking the elevator to his apartment where he tapped your shoulder.Ā
āCāmon.ā
āRight.ā
Once you reached his apartment, you got readjusted onto the couch, grabbed the coasters he had lying around in the coffee table, and placed your matcha there.Ā
He walked over to the couch and sat by you, on his phone. Surprisingly.
You smiled and attempted to peer over his shoulder to see his screen. āTalking to your girlfriend, Higuruma?ā You didn't know why that quick quip you threw at him made your chest feel heavy. Maybe it was because you were worried about that he would say... but you could always pass it off as you joking...?
His eyebrow raised at your quip and shrugged, handing you his phone. āThatās up for interpretation, I guess,ā he paused and glanced at you, smiling shyly. āHere, I added some songs to the playlist.ā
You took it and looked at it. āāLover, You Shouldāve Come Overā? āAbout Youā? 'To the End'? I think itās safe to assume you donāt have a girlfriend, but hey. These are really good songs.ā Again, your chest began to feel heavy.
āThatās up to your interpretation. But yeah, I enjoy those songs.ā His voice sounded like as if he was nervousālike he was trying something new, but you decided not to question it despite it being out of character from his usual authoritative nature.
You went back onto analyzing the paper and read itāanything to avert your attention from him and his stupid face. His phone was playing the songs the two of you had chosen on the playlist.Ā
As of now, The 1975 was playing, a popular song of their's that you've heard on the radio before, filling the slight silence in the apartment. You loved the songābut felt anxiousāyou felt antsy.
Still, one thing was on your mind: why was he being so cryptic?
You sat on the couch with him, analyzing a draft paragraph on theory of fairness when you noticed his expression changed as you leaned closer.Ā
You noted the change in his gaze from your peripheral; the manner he leaned against the edge of the couch and the way he was just looking at your figure. It was methodical, carefulāalmost reverent.
You glanced back at him. His eyes lingered on the slope of your neck, the pretty shape of your lips, to finally the allure of your eyes.Ā
The lamplight, all warm and dimmed, softened his features.Ā
In the light, he didnāt look like the same harsh classmate that executed everything he did in a precise manner.
The shadows softened his features in a way that could make angels cry and he looked like a muse for a classical Roman statue. The way his pretty lips parted like he was going to say something, the way his eyes softened under your returning gaze and the way his nose looked so sharp yet alluringly sexy.Ā
You felt a clench in your chest at the thought, at the effect he had on you. His expression was unreadable.Ā
You swallowed and cleared your throat. āThis is perfect now, Hiromi. I think that we did pretty goodā¦ā Your voice was a bit shaky, anxious-sounding.Ā
You were just blabbering about the topics covered when he suddenly interrupted you.
āYouāre always so confident, L/N.ā
You became stiff. His voice was lowerādeeper, almost seductive. It had an edge you couldnāt explain.
He tilted his head slightly and the corners of his lips curved. āIs that to ourāmy benefit?ā
The pronunciation of his words left you breathlessāthe way he said āmyā left shivers down your spine.Ā
Maybe it was the caffeine and sleep deprivation making you think in such a manner. Despite that, you couldnāt deny how aggravatingly good he looked. How much you felt drawn to himānot by lust but by the natural law of attraction.Ā
His mannerisms, his rhetoric, everything. His tone wasnāt deadpan, rather lifted by a charm you couldnāt explain.
You slightly smiled, your voice dripping with tease to appear calm. Anything to appear like he didnāt have such a visceral effect on you.Ā
āDo you want it to be, Hiromi?ā
The smooth roll of his name on your tongue felt foreign, usually being said quick and easy but now having a different weight.Ā
āYou donāt even flinch when I speak in class anymore.ā His voice was calm but there was a twinge of dissatisfaction in his words.Ā
āYou would have some type of reaction. A glance, sigh. That little frown you have when you disagree with something I want to say.ā
He leaned his head against his wrist while he looked at you with an analytical gaze. He was looking at you like you were a court case he had to revise for classāsame intense look. āNo reaction from you anymore.ā
So he does that on purpose.Ā
You shot him a grin. āBecause why not? I have nothing of substance to say. What can I say? I only argue when needed.ā
āI think I miss it,ā he muttered. His gaze averted from you and you felt a pang in your chest.Ā
āMaybe Iāve grownā He glanced at you, your words dripping with unexpected sarcasm. āYāknow, selective silence is my new thing. Gotta keep them on their toes.ā
He hummed. āIt keeps the lecture interesting when you do so. You should keep doing that. I at least knew someone paid attention to what I say.ā
You didnāt respond immediately and averted your gaze over to his collarbone out of shyness. Like if you kept staring at his eyes, you would start screaming out of embarrassment.
āI notice,ā you murmured. āYou donāt have to worry about me not listening.ā
He let out a deep exhale. āYouāre difficult, you know that? You say things and sometimes Iām not even sure you mean it.ā
You smiled. āI mean youāre not wrong. Sometimes I just talk and talkā¦ā
His gaze was still on you and you lightly laughed at your predicament. āIām shocked I didnāt talk your ear off yet. Iāve been expecting you to tell me to shut up but nothingā¦ā
āOkay. Then stop talking.ā
Your eyes widened and lips parted. His words werenāt with malice or offense rather low and breathless. Like he didnāt think about what he just said.Ā
āThat simple, hm?ā Your laugh turned almost bitter, dry. He sat closer to you and you could smell his cedarwood cologne closer to the point where your senses were drawn.Ā
āNothing with you is ever that simple.ā
Your fingers were intertwined with your red gel pen, flicking it against the edge of your fingers as you tapped it on your knee. But with his stupid words, you accidentally flung it.Ā
Such a simple move like leaning forward to grab it affected him. You moved your shoulders to prevent them from being stiff and you ran your fingers through your hair without thinking.Ā By the time you turned over to him, you met his gaze. It wasnāt just intense, rather like he was starving.Ā
āShould I be worried?ā You asked. āYou look at me the same way you look at the documents weāre covering. You got this intense look in your eye, so I canāt help but feel a little nervous.ā
He looked like he was caught off guard. āReally?ā
āMhm. Makes me feel like Iām about to be cross-examined, counselor.ā
He pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled sharply, a ghost of a laugh escaping his lips from the stupid nickname. āItās not thatā¦You justā¦throw me off.ā
Your eyebrow raised in an amused manner. āReally, Hiromi? Thatās not very academic of you, I fear. Not very Hiromi of you.ā You shot him a meek smile, like you were unsure... and quite frankly you were. It felt as if you were tethering on the edge of him telling you to either get out, or you on the verge of pouncing on him and kissing him. Hard.Ā
āYeahā¦I know.ā He let out a small, pitiful laugh. For a moment, he didnāt look at you, rather his gaze drifted to the floor. Like he was nervous.
āThe first week of class, I overheard you telling Geto that I spoke like a scary litigator.ā
You blinked. āI did?ā
He nodded. āWas that a moment where you spoke without thinking?ā
You felt that pang in your heart again. This was too intimate, too much to bear. It mirrored a confession scene like in those movies you watched and you felt nervous. You realistically had no reason to; he was someone your friends bet on, not someone you should fall for.
āWell,ā you shot him a nervous smile, āyou kind of do. And you sound professional. Cutthroat.ā
He stayed quiet until he hesitantly spoke. āIf anything, youāre the sameā¦ā
Your breath caught in your throat. That wasnāt flirtingā¦that was something else.
āI donāt really know what to do with that,ā you whispered.Ā
He looked at you again with that same intense gaze. āIāneither do Iā¦ā
The pen youād thrown earlier rolled slightly across the floor with the shift of your knee, but neither of you moved to get it.
You could feel your heartbeat in your ears and felt how warm your face had gotten.Ā
He leaned back slightly, like he was going to speak but slightly hesitated. āI thought that if I acted like this didnāt affect me then it would carry on and notā¦ā
āAnd howās that working for you now?ā you asked.Ā
He hesitated. āNot working. Not in the slightest.ā
The silence engulfed the both of you, except the sound of the train and cars outside along with the playlist still ringing on his phoneā specifically a Radiohead song.Ā
It was impossible to ignore how you felt. Impossible to ignore how he made you feel. So you leaned in ever so slightly; possibly an inch.Ā
He met you the rest of the way.Ā
Just like that. And you didnāt stop him. Not even in the slightest.
He tasted like the black coffee he drank, vanilla chapstick, and smelled like his annoyingly expensive, woody cologne that drove your senses on overdrive.Ā
His lips moved with vigor and desperation. It was a move of pure desireādifferent from pure lusting rather it being anticipation.Ā
Like heās been waiting to do this for a while. And the way he held you was like he was afraid of breaking you.
You didnāt push back rather wrapped your arms around his neck and pushed him onto you; the both of you were laid onto his couch, him on top of you while your lips moved with even more aggression.Ā
Your fingers clutched the hem of your jeans and his hand grazed your cheek. He pulled back slightly, looking in your eyes like he was looking for your reaction.
You shot him a half-frown, albeit flustered. āWas that supposed to shut me up?ā
For the first time, you felt butterflies in the manner that he smiled at you; it was cute and sexy. āIt worked. Didnāt it?ā
āIāve been thinking of doing thatā¦ā he muttered. For the first time, you donāt think youāve ever heard him sound so unsure and not confident in his words. Like he was anxious on your reaction and response.
You swallowed and let out a jagged exhale. āMe tooā¦ā
His gaze brightened towards you. Then you latched your lips onto his with just enough aggression to make him want more as he held your face with one hand and placed the other on your hip.
His hands roamed over your body, hesitant to feel you. You grabbed him by the collars of his stupid sweatshirt and felt his body weight and warmth against yours.Ā
Fuck Hiromi Higuruma.Ā
Him and his nonchalant demeanor, shitty awkward smile, shitty know-it-all personality. Even the way his hair was styled that day and his little wrist-watch pissed you off.Ā
But Godā¦you wanted to fuck him so bad in that moment. You wanted to touch and feel all of him.
āTouch meā¦please,ā you murmured in the heat of the moment. You looked at him, foggy glasses and flushed face. Your tinted lip gloss was smeared on his lips and he blinked profusely at your words.Ā
āOkay.ā His hands fiddled with the front of your jeans as he slid them off. His eyes widened at the sight of your pink panties all soaked and at your beautiful toned legs.Ā
Hiromi looked up at you for reassurance; as if he didnāt know what he was doing.Ā
You smiled. āDo you know how?ā
His face got redder and he blinked, slowly shaking his head ānoā. āIāI want to try.ā
āIāll help you.ā You grabbed his wrists and guided them to the waistline of your panties. His breath became shaky and you leaned forward to kiss him.Ā
āDo you trust me?ā You whispered, eyes filled with need.Ā
He nodded profusely. āYes.ā
You guided his dominant hand down to your folds and clit. Your fingers adjusted his own so that his thumb was on your clit while his ring and middle fingers played with your foldsāaching for his touch.Ā
āOh my Godā¦Hiroā k-keep doing thatā¦ā Your breathing became shaky as he kept rubbing at your clit and his fingers curled into you. He continued his pace while you grabbed at his wrist in reaction to his touch.Ā
You moved your hips to feel his fingers further as they thrusted inside you.Ā
Your lips latched onto his one more time; the action overtaken with lust and need, like you absolutely needed each other.
āDamn itā¦ā he muttered, feeling the way your pussy clenched around his long fingers.Ā
He brought his arousal-slicked fingers and put them in his mouth, savoring the sweet taste of your pussy.Ā
āFuckā¦Youāre so damn sweet.ā
Hiromi glanced at you again and parted his lips in hesitation. āY/N? May I try something?āĀ
You shot him a glance and nodded. āOf course.ā
Hiromi nodded, a smile playing on his lips while he leaned back, positioning his face by your bare pussy; wet, puffy, and desperate for him.Ā
Your lips parted as you felt him go down on you, calloused and large hands gripping your soft, smooth, lush thighs.Ā
āPlease let me know if Iām doing okay.ā
You fought off a smile at his words and nodded. You felt the presence of his tongue licking the slit of your pussy while you felt his nose rub on your clit.Ā
His tongue slowly entered your hole to which you gripped on his black hair in reaction while the point of his nose rubbed on your puffy clit.
Your hips bucked against his face, moving them up and down so deliciously. The sound of him slurping up your pussy drove you mad. His calloused hands gripped your thighs and his thumbs traced circles on your skin: littered with goosebumps at the sensation of him eating your pussy out.Ā
He ate you out like a starved man, gripping your inner thighs with more strength as he tilted his head while working his tongue. You felt your back arch as your breathing turned almost jagged, feeling his moans against your core.
āY-Youāre doing so good, Hiroā¦Fuck.ā You shut your eyes, feeling the way that little knot in your stomach was inching towards release the more his nose rubbed your clit and thrusted his tongue in and out like he was insatiable for your sweet taste.
You felt your legs shake over his shoulders and that knot slowly undo itself; where you came and shuddered as he slurped even louder.Ā
āDid I do alright..?ā He lifted himself up to see you; his face was absolutely pink and his glasses were resting on the top of his head. His lips and nose were glistening with your arousal and you fought off a smile at the sight.
āMore than alright.ā You moved yourself to kneel before him, working with the buckle of his belt and sliding his pants and briefs down. Your legs slightly shook at the foreign position but you began stroking his cock: large, veiny, and certainly girthy.
You took his cute strawberry-tinted tip leaking with pre in your mouth, licking it slightly. Your hand worked at the base of his cock, stroking it while his tip stayed in. The taste of his salty sweet cum in your mouth made you feel almost needy for more as you took him whole.Ā
Tears began brimming at your eyes as you looked up at him, eyes closed and lips parted as he said your name like a prayer. His breathing became more jagged and his forehead gleamed with sweat already, a string of curses leaving his lips.Ā
āMmā¦ā He squeezed his eyes shut cutely as your tongue teased his cock slightly, giving him butterfly kisses until you took him whole again. His cock twitched and you sucked him further, squeezing his thighs from how fast you were going.Ā
You slurped on his cock further, milking him dry from his release in your mouth. His hands gripped on your hair as you did so, his voice cracking with every whine, and youāve never felt more aroused.
You wiped the corners of your lips and swallowed. āNow fuck me. Please, Hiro.ā Your widened doe eyes looked up at him, still on your knees. He blinked, nodding to your immediate request.Ā
He stripped off his upper half and lifted your shirt up as well. You poked his chest for him to sit down on the couch as you unclipped your bra.
His hooded eyes were glued onto your cute breasts, perky from the cold air hitting them.Ā His gaze roamed on your body; all bare and beautiful in the dim, golden light of his lamp illuminating the place.
āGod, youāre beautifulā¦ā he muttered, his gaze mirroring that of before: analytical except there was that hint of gentleness that seemed to overtake the rest of his expression.Ā
āYou flatter me too much,ā you murmured, climbing on top of him slowly as you felt his hard on against the inner of your thighs. Your lips met his neck as you kissed it softly; simultaneously, you felt his hands roam on your body again, massaging your ass as you grind against his cock.Ā
You noticed how he swallowed and touched you like he didnāt know what to do, and you smiled.Ā
āYouāre a damn tease,ā he said, letting out a breathless laugh.
āIām aware, but I know you like it too.āĀ
You grabbed his cock from the small space between the two of you and stroked it slowly, giving it a few pumps. Your hips bucked up as you aligned the tip of his cock to your puffy, wet slit.Ā
āIāve got you,ā he whispered, looking at you as he followed your instruction. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you slowlyĀ adjusted yourself.
You moved your hips to the side and shifted your weight on your knees as you went up and down his cock. You could feel every pulsating vein and how lengthy yet filling his cock was to your tiny pussy, begging for him to fuck you.Ā
āMove. Fuck me. Please.ā You said it in such a manner that your voice cracks and whiny tone almost unlocked something in him. His slow touches on your ass became rougher, with more weight and force.
His hips went at a damn near animalistic pace, rutting into you with vigor as his hands maneuvered your ass. The pitter-patter sound of your soaked thighs meeting his echoed through the apartment loudly and that alone made you whine, feeling the sticky and hot skin with every move of the hips.
āAhhā¦F-Fucking damn it,ā you whined, scratching at his tan toned biceps; they were so defined, strong. Your face was buried in the crook of his neck as you feltĀ him pant against your warm skin. Hiromi had pressed your body closer to his, your perky breasts against his toned chest while he fucked you with finesse.
āDonāt stop, please,ā he groaned, the raspy sound of his voice leaving you with butterflies in your stomach and your pussy fluttering around his cock.
āFuckfuckfuckfuckāY/Nā¦ā he closed his eyes and held you tighter, the sensation of him bottoming out only had you squeezing your eyes shut and knees bucking. It was warm, leaving you filled up with serotonin and his cum.Ā
You kept riding him, feeling how your release was approaching and how your pussy squeezed on him. Hiromi let out such raspy moans that it led you to quicken your pace; such alluring yet seductive sounds coming out of the lips of someone you should hate.Ā
āFuckāHiromi..!ā You felt yourself soon reaching your climax and throwing your head back, wanton moans slipping from your lips as your hips gyrated back and forth slowly until you stopped.
You felt your body slump down against him, panting while a sheen of sweat decorated your skin as you both breathed heavily in attempts to catch your breath. He held you gentlyāwith such care as if you were made of sugar, about to crumble on his fingers.
His fingertips brushed on the skin of your hips while he kissed the crown of your head. You were laid on his chest and could hear how rapid his heartbeat wasāand how it was matching your own.
There was no sassy quip you could come up with nor any dramatic diss you could throw on him. It was silent between you two, except for the beeping of cars and the train outside.Ā
You felt your heart clench at your current state: clung to him while he was still inside you.
You couldnāt deny your feelings at your current situation.Ā
You attempted to get out of his grasp but he held you tighter.Ā
āStay the night,ā he whispered. It was such a simple offering but your face got warm again. You couldnāt.
āIāI donāt knowā¦ā
āPlease, love.ā
There was a beat of silence before you let out a deep exhale, his nickname causing your heart to beat faster. He spoke to you with gentleness, care. The authority in his voice that youād gotten used to was dimmed, and your heartbeat sped up.
āOkay.ā
You couldnāt deny the sensation in your chest just thinking of the vulnerable state you were in. Letting someone like him see.
Youāve come to the unfortunate conclusion that youāve gained feelingsāand now face a weird ultimatum.
Give up your pride, tell him the truth, and risk not getting that rank; or getting that rank no matter the cost.Ā
And at that moment, you didnāt know. So for then, you just stayed in his arms, and closed your eyes.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāĀ
You werenāt one to call for an emergency meeting, but this time, you had no choice but to.Ā
Shoko had barely sat down before raising an eyebrow at your nervous demeanor. āSomething happened. Didnāt it?ā Her voice was flat and deadpan.Ā
Satoru and Suguru were across from you and mid-sip their coffees before they exchanged a knowing glance. They both looked at you, your appearance and demeanor.
āYou slept with him,ā Suguru said bluntly, like he was absolutely positive and all-knowing. "...Right?"
Your lack of response gave you away and Suguru and Shoko lightly laughed while Satoruās jaw dropped.Ā
āHold upā¦ā Satoru leaned in like he was telling you a secret and shot you a shocked look. āYou fucked that guy?ā
Your face burned and you looked away. āStop...:Ā
āNo fucking way,ā he murmured, āYouāre telling me you actually slept with Higuruma? Youāre lyingā¦ā
You let out a deep exhale and buried your face in your hands. āIām not lying.ā
Suguru had an amused look on his face and pointed at the sweatshirt you were wearingāthe law firmās insignia embroidered on the left side of the chest. Specifically the law firmās insignia Higuruma interned at.Ā Ā
āThatās his. Iāve seen him wear it during midterms.ā
You groaned and covered your face meekly. āI didnāt mean for that to happen. I meanāIt just happened. And now I feel like Iām gonna be sick and I donāt know what to doā¦ā
āProbably because you like him. Like really like him,ā Shoko said, matter-of-fact.Ā
You blinked at her like she had three heads. āWhat?ā
āLook, you dense girl,ā Suguru added, āIf you didnāt, you wouldnāt be spiraling like this.ā
You slumped in your seat and groaned, your coffee untouched and cooled. āLook, Iāve been thinkingā¦about ending the bet. Like no more, calling it off for good. Heās not who I thought he was and heās really niceā¦ā
Shoko leaned back smugly and extended her hand towards Satoru, earning a glare from him. āPay up, good sir.ā
He sighed and slapped a crumpled twenty dollar bill from his wallet into her palm.Ā
Suguru chuckled. āYou were the one who said he āprobably had no gameā or am I mistaken?ā
Satoru pouted. āStill does but I guess his wholeā¦melodramatic intense poli-sci vibe worksā¦Maybe I should consider trying that.ā
Shoko snorted. āRightā¦Iām sure every girl on campus would love to hear you rant about the philosophy behind finance bros,ā to which Satoru flipped her off.Ā
They were teasing, sure, but none of it felt mean.Ā
āWe get it,ā Shoko continued, her tone softer and understanding. āYouāre not doing it for just the game anymore. Thatās understandable.ā
You sighed. āI donāt even know if he feels the same wayā¦ā
Satoru shrugged. āTell him regardless. As much of an ass that he might be, he deserves to know.ā
Suguru nodded, a knowing smile gracing his face. āWorst case? He doesnāt feel the same. But now you wouldnāt have to be on eggshells. Do it.āĀ
You nodded slowly, your stomach churning. But even if they might be stupid sometimes, your friends were definitely right.Ā
āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāā
He hadnāt texted you all week, until today.Ā
His message was brief, curtāāLetās go over final revisions before the journal deadline.ā Despite the paper already being turned in to the department head.Ā
Still, there you were: outside his apartment and cold from the wind outside. Your palms felt clammy and your hair was still wet from the shower. You did your routine the best you could for the whole week yet you couldnāt shake the feeling of the pit in your stomach residing every time you thought about him.Ā
That even caused you to sit all the way in the back during lecture; somewhere he couldnāt hear or see you.
āY/Nā¦ā Hiromi looked at you, his gaze shifting from one of hesitance to one of worry. His eyes narrowed at the way you were pacing outside of his door and went to a stop the moment he opened the door. "Are you alright? Come in."
You slowly stepped inside, your body suddenly going stiff as the intimate smell of cedarwood and eucalyptus hit you. The apartment was dimly lit, courtesy of the lamps in Hiromi's living room. Yet, everything felt different.Ā
You turned around, standing in the center of his apartment with your arms crossed to your chest. He shut the door and watched you carefully. "You...didn't bring your laptop."
"No," you said. "I didn't bring it."
You met his gaze for a second and looked away. The view of his eyes: narrowed and emotion practically leaking from his look, made you feel guiltyāsick.Ā
"Hiromi, just...please stop." You whispered softly. Despite the bustling city life of downtown, it was like everything was silent between the two of you, slow.Ā
His eyebrows slightly furrowed but he didn't move from where he was. "Okay."
You swallowed and cleared your throat. "I know this isn't about the paper," you started, your voice low and hesitant. "And I know I've been avoiding you and not speaking to you, but I didn't want to say anything until I knew how...I felt."
"There was a bet.ā
He didnāt reactānot at first.
You kept talking before you lost all your nerve. "Back when we got paired for the journal, my friends thought it would be funny if I got you to fall for me or to piss you off. And if I did, then they would help with getting a recommendation letter from Kitagawa."
You paused for a moment, swallowing the immense guilt you felt bubbling in your chest. "At first...I didn't think it would matter. You were so...closed off, focused. I thought it would be harmless and a joke."
You looked up and you felt your heart crack at his still expression; he was looking at you like you were a person in your lecture saying something stupid. And you didn't blame him, you couldn't. Not in the slightest.
"But then I got to know you. The way your mind works and the way you speak when you think I'm not listening and how kind you are and how you have such strong fucking integrity."
You looked to the side, to the living room, and exhaled sharply. "And it stopped being a joke. And I didn't know how to come clean without ruining everything, so I just...stopped. Because I likedālikeāyou. And I hated myself for it.ā
There was a pregnant pause between the both of you. It was silentābut you didn't feel any hostility. Despite that, you could practically feel your pulse in your ears.
Then he spoke, calm, collected. Like he was restraining himself.Ā
"Thank you for telling me."
You blinked. His tone was completely calm. "Y-You're not mad..?"
He let out a slow breath. "I don't know what I am right now."
Hiromi ran a hand down his face and then looked at you againānot with anger or resentment rather something close to prostration, like he was hurt.Ā
"I had a feeling something was off. Especially after that...night."Ā
He paused and ran his fingers through his hair, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose shortly after. "I didn't reach out because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I thought maybe you regretted it, because you were very quick to leave soon after."
You opened your mouth to speak, to say something, but you literally couldn't.
"I've been thinking about it all week," he said, his voice cracking the slightest amount. "And not just that night but you. The way you laugh when you're trying not to be nervous. The way you argue when you know you're rightāwhich is almost all the damn time. The way you snap your fingers when you figure something out."
Your heart felt like it was going to break.Ā
"I like you," he said, his voice slightly above a whisper. "I really like you. Even if it started with those intentions. Even if I don't know what to do with all of that. All I know is that Iāve never done something like this beforeāliked someone how I like you.ā
Your body moved before you could even process everything he just told you and took a step forward. Then you felt his arms snake around your waist, engulfing you in his pretty cederwood scent that you liked so much.
Then, he spoke softly, face buried in your hair. "For the record, if it even matters, I was going to call you. A dozen damn times."
Your lips curved into a smile. "Why didn't you?"
"Thought I would come across as too strong or pushy. Or that everything that happened was a figment of my imagination."
You snorted at his words, despite the tears brimming at the corners of your eyes. "You didn't."
He smiled tooāa real genuine smile. Not those forced ones he gives professors rather one that simply came about. Your heart clenched at the sight.Ā
Hiromi hummed and he lightly laughed before speaking. "I guess I should go thank Geto."
Your eyebrows furrowed at the mention of your friend and he laughed again. "What the hell? For what?"
"He told me to 'man the hell up because it's obvious'. He said you liked guys who made the first move."
You slightly blinked. "So that's why you were so...confident?"
His smile dropped and a look of concern flashed on his face. "Was it that bad?"
You giggled and covered your face. "A little slutty, I can't lie."
He kissed his teeth and his lips twitched. "Damn. I tried, though."
You extended your hand and held his, intertwining your fingers together. "For what it's worth, though...I liked it. Maybe a bit too much."
And then, before you could make another stupid joke, he caught your face between his warm hands, catching your lips with his in a slow kiss.Ā
You didn't pull away. And you didn't want to.
āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāā
a/n: this has def seen so many edits but i think iām finally happy with this one. i honestly donāt give a fuck if it flops, iām js very happy with this; iāve wanted to post it for a hike since im so proud of the pacing and everything hehehe no glaze ⦠stay tuned for my college au! choso fic thatās still facing the early drafting process!!
CREATURE WITH A KNIFE
āā SEX FOR BUSINESS āā
CHAPTER THREE: For Friendship
executive summary : ⤷ In which you refuse to align sex with anything more than an act committed for the benefit of status gain. Youāre a whore by choice and it works⦠until it doesnāt?
file contents : ⤷ afab!reader, tension, an annoying coworker, light flirting, etc. wc: 4.6k
associated parties (pairings) : ⤷ jjk (office) men x f!reader, gojo x f!reader, nanami x f!reader, higuruma x f!reader, shiu x f!reader, kusakabe x f!reader, & ino x f!reader, (brief yaga x f!reader).
{ m.list }
āāYOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO FUCK HIM. Thatās your first impression of Shiu Kong after a short elevator ride with him and a couple of minutes of small talk. The two of you were quick to exchange this easy-going banter. He managed to ask you how you were enjoying your first day so far and did well in looking at you as if you were the most interesting person in the world.
Not to mention the way he flirted with you so shamelessly. Calling you things like doll and sweetheart without hesitation all throughout your conversation with him.
It was going perfectly until a certain white-haired thorn in your side came walking around Shiu, placing a hand on the manās shoulder and butting into your conversation with a hearty chuckle. āAnd what do we have here, hm?ā Gojo asks all casually, eyes flicking back and forth between you and Shiu.
Shiu, who youāre just now realizing has a cup of coffee in his hand, makes a slight gesture of his cup at you while looking at Gojo, āI was just welcoming in our newest director. Have you two spoken to one another yet?ā He asks.
By this point, youāve got your arms neatly crossed and you donāt think your glare at Gojo could be any more pointed right now. Of course heās the one to interrupt your conversation, why are you not surprised? Gojo, clearly knowing exactly what heās doing, flashes a small grin in your direction.
His eyes settle on you and he removes his hand from Shiuās shoulder, redirecting it out for you to shake. āI havenāt had the pleasure of speaking to Ms. Marketing here but,ā He emphasizes the hand he has out and you slowly take it with a mild roll of your eyes. āItās nice to meet you. Iām sure youāve heardāā
āI havenāt.ā You cut off crisply, reciprocating that fake grin of his with a faux smile of your own. Then your hand grips onto his a bit tighter and both of you share a handshake that extends for a time longer than necessary.
Gojo clears his throat to swallow down the string of curses he surely wouldāve sent your way had you both not been in a professional setting. ā...Iām Gojo Satoru, the financial director here.ā He greets formally.
Uninterestedly, your brows lift and you try your best to act as if he hadnāt left a bad taste on your tongue from all the earlier glares and slammed doors heād sent your way. āItās nice to meet you too, Gojoāā
āMister,ā Gojo corrects with a fake cough.
You pause, āWhat?ā
āItās Mr. Gojo, to you.ā He continues. You watch the grin on his face widen and youāre pretty sure you can feel a vein of annoyance popping out against the skin of your forehead.
Which is why you pluck your hand away from his and force a fake laugh out of your throat, āRight. Itās nice to meet you, Mr. Gojo.ā Turning your attention elsewhere before he has the chance to irritate you any further, a genuine smile takes over your expression as you meet eyes with the man beside him again, āAnyway⦠Shiu, it was a pleasure speaking with you.ā
Shiu opens his mouth to probably repeat himself from earlier but heās cut off by Gojo again, āYou..ā He snorts, turning his head to Shiu with a raised brow, āYou let her call you by your first name? I thought you two just met?ā
āI like the way it sounds on her tongue,ā Shiu explains, lifting his cup up to his face to take a sip of his coffee as if he didnāt just say the most suggestive thing in the world.
A bashful little smirk takes over your face as you look to the floor and Gojo frowns, āYou donāt let me call you by your first name, and Iāve known you for years! Your best friend was my professor in college!ā He huffs.
Shiu shrugs at first but then once heās done with his swig of coffee, he swallows and moves to pat Gojo on his back. āYeah but,ā He clicks his tongue, āIām your boss.ā He comments with an almost cocky chortle.
And with that, he sends you one more look that obviously says he hopes to run into you more often before he taps Gojoās back again and turns to leave. You watch him walk off in the direction of Gojoās office for as long as youāre able to before the man in question steps into your line of vision with his arms all crossed and a frown tugging at his lips.
āYeah so uh,ā Gojo begins, sizing your frame up and down as if to⦠intimidate you? It definitely doesnāt work because if anything youāre more interested in getting back into your office and far away from him. āStay away from my boss, Ms. Marketing.ā
You blink, āOh, Iām sorry. Are you two likeā¦ā You make this gesture with your hands that silently asks him if theyāre together.
āWhat? No,ā Gojo scoffs, āI just donāt want you getting any bright ideas.ā
Itās almost as if every time he opens his mouth, you find yet another reason to dislike him. Scoffing right back, āAre you implying something?ā
āIām not implying anything.ā He tells you with that stupid degrading smirk on his face. God, you canāt stand him one bit. āYou have it written all over your face.ā Gojo lifts a finger and points at your expression, more specifically your eyes, as he studies you.
Obviously, youāre left utterly confused, āHave what written all over my face?ā
To which he puffs out a short laugh through his nose, āYou know what.ā
āI donātā,ā You cut yourself off with an irritated sigh, āYāknow what, this is childish Iām not sure what it is Iāve done to.. offend you but, youāve been glaring at me from the moment I walked in here and Iām not gonna stand here and go back and forth with you.ā
Gojo opens his mouth again, probably to argue with you even more but you cut him off with a lift of your hand. Playing off the gesture with a polite wave, you then flash the man a dismissive smile.
āIāll see you around, Mr. Gojo.ā You huff out as quickly as you can before turning away and carrying your feet back to your office.
Unbeknownst to you, Gojo remains in place for a minute while you walk awayāunable to take his eyes off you for whatever reason. He doesnāt like you but he canāt stop looking at you. Nor could he stop himself from going back and forth with you mere moments ago.
Everything about you seems to irritate him. He doesnāt like how direct you are. He canāt stand how quick you are to fire back at his comments and gestures, nor how perfectly you just evaded the rest of the most recent conversation. Gojo knows heās not an idiot so, he definitely didnāt imagine the little hearts swirling around in your eyes as you spoke to his boss.
Heās seen women flaunt that same look time and time again, whether it be in his direction or in the direction of others, he knows exactly what was going on inside that head of yours. He doubts you even realize how obvious you made yourself out to be. It was clear you wanted to fuck the man. Even a blind guy would have pointed that out!
But what confuses Gojo the most is probably the fact that he swears thatās just the default look in your eyes. Even when you stood in front of him glaring as if you wanted to violently put your hands on him, there was still something else there that he couldnāt quite ignore. And the most bothersome thing about that is the fact that he feels it too.
Amid the mild bickering, the overly firm handshakes, and the blazing glares, there was something else. Attraction, obviously. Heād be lying to himself if he said you werenāt every bit of his type and more. At first glance at you, he was enthralled. Not that heād ever admit that to you. No, no, instead, Gojo dedicates all his time to you by annoying you however he can.
And because of that, your first day was pretty hectic. But, you do end it on a decent enough note as youād met all the people necessary for one day. For example your boss, Higuruma Hiromi. You were introduced to him later on throughout the day when he came knocking on your office door.
Like with all the other men youād met so far, he was just as handsome as one could imagine. He kept his voice low and sentences short, keeping his greeting with you very briefāwhich is why you were left with a calming impression of him after the fact.
Which is why you thought that the rest of your work life would carry out just fine so long as you ignore the blue-eyed headache walking around.
Ā· Ā· āāāāāāāā Ā·š„øĀ· āāāāāāāā Ā· Ā·
Yet, three months into this job and you thought youād finally reached your wits end with that man. Gojo Satoru is not a difficult person to dislike, contrary to popular belief. Despite his dazzling appearance and charming demeanor, heās actually the most infuriating individual the very second he parts those pretty rosy lips of his.
Or at least, heās like that with you.
You started to pick up on the way he goes entirely out of his way to get on your nerves after your first few weeks in the office. Heād interrupt you during meetings with a comment that annoyingly follows along with whatever youād been saying but diverts all the attention onto him, come bursting into your office first thing nearly every morning just to give you a ārun-downā on your tasks as if he were your boss or something, and then, most importantly, absolutely refused to let you get any opportunity to talk to Shiu.
Part of you wishes you were being dramatic with the way you thought about how much of a pain it was to work with Gojo but, itās all true. Especially the last bit.
Because Shiu was Gojoās boss and worked over in finance, you didnāt really get much of a chance to speak to him outside of those weekly meetings hosted and attended by all the VPs and their accompanying directors. And of course, since thatās the only time throughout the week that you get to see him, you thought that would give you more than enough opportunities to talk to him.
Unfortunately for you, Gojo finds some way to interrupt every single conversation. Sometimes it wasnāt even verbal. If you recall correctly, he once walked past you and āaccidentallyā spilled a cup of his warm coffee onto you while you were mid-sentence with Shiu.
The only reason his constant interruptions annoyed you so much is because within the three months you worked there, youād begun to grasp the hierarchy of the company. With Nanami sitting atop as the CEO, the next group of people directly under him were the VPs, which included; Shiu Kong, Higuruma Hiromi, a gorgeous blonde woman named Yuki Tsukumo, and a couple of other people who arenāt worth mentioning. Under them were you and your fellow corresponding directors.
Now, as far as those VPs go, Nanami definitely had some favorites among them. Those favorites being Higuruma and Shiu. You could tell based on how long you spotted them talking, how often Nanami would flash a genuine smile around them, and even based on the few times youād seen the three leave the office togetherāpresumably to go out for drinks.
Which was later confirmed by that wonderful (nosy) neighbor of yours, Ino. With him working as Nanamiās assistant and being your next-door neighbor, it made your planning come so much easier to you.
No matter what, you were going to climb up this company. Whether that be climbing it in terms of getting promoted or climbing it in terms of sleeping with every handsome man of power was a bit debatable but, the important part here was that you had a plan. And whoās to say those two things couldnāt be achieved simultaneously?
Hence why thatās exactly what you work toward. You spent your initial three months there getting a good, comfortable feel of the company and who had certain relations with who before you came to your conclusion.
Hell, one could even say you created a little list for yourself to complete.
If by the end of this little scheme of yours, you hadnāt at least earned some more money and slept with those that you deemed desirable then this whole thing will have been a waste of your time. But youāre not worried about that, you know this plan will work.
Your biggest target was obviously the Nanami Kento. He had the highest position so of course you wanted a piece of him. But, you didnāt want just any piece of him, no. You wanted that man wrapped around your finger.
But how could you possibly hope to achieve something like that from your current position? Hell, the last woman in your shoes was fired and replaced in the blink of an eye so what makes you so confident that youāll be able to do anything with that man from where you are nowā¦
Oh, thatās right, your interest in those VPās, of course. Now if you could get through them then you could easily get to Nanami.
Which leads you right back to your overall plan. You were going to try to get somewhere with Shiu but with Gojo interrupting you at every fucking turn, that was damn near impossible. So, you redirected your attention to the next best thing; Higuruma.
The only difficult thing about that man was the fact that he seemed to be as uninterested in you as he was in life itself. No matter how much small talk you held with him or how many times you tried all those subtle flirtatious gestures with him, he never gave you the time of day. If it wasnāt about work then he didnāt wanna hear it.
You could say the funniest thing in the world and the most heād gift you with is a cold stare of those wide-set eyes and a faint quirk of his lips. You think the only time you caught a flicker of interest in his eyes was whenever you led a meeting really well or submitted an extra sum of work earlier than required.
So while you originally thought that going through one of the VPs would be easy, you steadily came to the realization that it was nearly impossible no matter which route you took.
Which leads to right now as you sit in your office, mindlessly scrolling through Pinterest instead of completing any actual work, and lost in thought. What were you gonna do? Youād been here for three months and hadnāt made even the slightest bit of progress toward any of the men youād hoped to.
You canāt talk to Nanami without a reason, according to Ino, Shiu still sends you these looks from across the room whenever he can but Gojo always spawns out of nowhere to interject, and Higuruma wonāt dare keep his attention on you for even half a second longer than professionally necessary. So, again, what the hell were you gonna do now?
Things hadnāt gone how you expected them to at all. And not only that, there was also another aggravating issue for youā¦
Since working here, you havenāt had sex. At first, you thought it was just because you were devoting so much of your time to this new job of yours but, at some point, you realized the only reason you hadnāt been laid is because things arenāt going according to plan. If they were, you would have slept with one of those previously mentioned men by now.
The thought alone pulls a sigh from your lips and at the sound, your assistant lifts his head from his phone and glances over at you.
āAlright, thatās like, the fourth sigh youāve let out within the past ten minutes.ā Kusakabe points out, brows meeting together slowly as he runs his eyes over your expression from where heās seated. āWhatās wrong?ā He asks.
Now, you like Kusakabe. You think he makes the perfect assistant and he does pretty much anything you ask of him. He tries to act like he doesnāt care about or pay attention to anything around him but youāve noticed that heās actually a very attentive man.
In the time youāve been here, heās managed to learn you and all your little facial expressions like the back of his hand. He could even differentiate your annoyance from work and Gojo by now. He knows when you need a cup of coffee, even if you donāt ask him for one, when you need to take a break, when you need help, and pretty much everything about how you operate while you work.
But, the sighs youād been letting out most recently is a new thing. You hadnāt had an interaction with Gojo since earlier that morning as usual so, he knew it wasnāt that. Heād given you your daily cup of caffeine, helped you lighten a bit of your workload for the day, and even offered to run across town to get you lunch from your favorite spot. Hence why heās confused as to what could possibly be disturbing you now.
You didnāt have anything particularly stressful to focus on today so Kusakabe was almost overly concerned for you.
He watches the way you slowly draw your hands away from your keyboard and mouse, leaning back in your chair before stretching your arms up into the air with a yawn exiting your throat shortly after. Then, you finally meet his eyes, āI appreciate your concern Kusakabe but, itās not exactly something you can help me with.ā You tell him.
Now, that wasnāt entirely true. Your most recent hindrance is your lack of dick, which you know Kusakabe wouldnāt mind helping you with if you let him. Hell, thatās the one thing aside from Gojo being annoying thatās remained constant since you started working here. You still remember how your light teasing left your assistant with an annoying tent in his pants on your first day.
Though, you donāt think you or him ever revisited that.
āOh cāmon miss, name one time I havenāt been able to help you with something since youāve been here?ā Kusakabe lets out a little snort from his nose before standing up from his chair and pacing over to your desk with his hands in his pockets.
Your eyes trail him as he nears you and you move to sit up properly as he comes closer, casually crossing your arms over your desk and sending him a knowing smile, āHow about just last week when I asked you to help me come up with a name for our next campaign?ā
Staring at you for a moment as he thinks, Kusakabe is quick to look down at the floor with a smile on his face. āOkay, fair point. But in my defense, things were hectic around here last week and my brain had been overworked by the time you asked me.ā
āRiiight,ā You hum with an easy chuckle following shortly after. āWell, you asked me to name a time you havenāt been able to help me, soā¦ā
He lifts a hand as if to wave off his initial request entirely, āForget about that. Just tell me whatās wrong.ā
You stare up at him for a moment, contemplating on just telling him for a second before you remember that you canāt just spill the details of your sex life, or lack thereof, to your assistant. āIām afraid I canāt,ā You begin, lifting your shoulders to shrug, āItās personal.ā
Kusakabe scoffs almost immediately, āYeah, so was the dry cleaning you had me take care of the other day.ā
At that, youāre quick to lift a finger in protest, āThat was different, you offered.ā
āAnd Iām offering to help you with whateverās bothering you now too,ā He says quickly. Part of you wonders if he would take that statement back if he knew the issue at handā¦
āThatās really sweet of you, Kusakabe.ā You try to smile your way out of this as best as you can. āBut uh, this is more of a physical kindaā personal thing so, you canāt help me.ā
His brows push up immediately and he leans a bit closer to your desk just to lower his voice, āOh shit, are youā¦ā His eyes narrow at you before he continues, moving to gesture at his stomach. āI donāt know if itās rude of me to ask but are you uh, expecting orā¦?ā
āGod no,ā You snort, āIām not pregnant. This isnāt that kind of physical thing.ā
He lets out an almost relieved little sigh but you pay no mind to it. āOh okay, so what is it? Are you not feeling well or something?ā He returns to his previous concerns, a clear look of genuine interest written all over his face. āI donāt mean to pry but⦠Well, youāve been here for three months and you donāt exactly have any other friends in this office aside from me so, if thereās anyone you can talk to about anything, it would be me.ā
At the mention of the word friends, you nearly freeze. āYou think weāre friends?ā You blurt out without second thought, not once considering how that could come across to someone who clearly believes you and him are well acquainted.
āI mean-,ā He chuckles almost awkwardly at your sudden question before looking around the room, āWith the number of things Iāve done for you in and out of the office and all the time we spent together, I just thought⦠yāknow.ā
You merely stare at him again, trying not to smile. āIām your boss, Kusakabe.ā
āSo that means we canāt be friends?ā He replies quickly, meeting your eyes this time.
āOf course not butā¦ā You slowly weigh your head to the side before resting your cheek against your knuckles, āI didnāt know you considered me a friend.ā
He shrugs as if it were no big deal, āWhy wouldnāt I? Weāve hung out outside of work, weāve gotten to know each other fairly well, and uh⦠I dunno, you feel like a friend.ā
The smile youād been trying to hold back breaks free onto your face and your assistant immediately moves his gaze elsewhere.
āDonāt look at me like that,ā Kusakabe huffs as he lifts a hand to wave your expression off. Then he takes his other hand and pulls out a lollipop from his pocket, moving to unwrap it and pop it right into his mouth like he always does. āIām just sayinā it would be dumb of me not to consider you a friend.ā
āUhuh,ā You hum all smugly. Then your expression falls a bit as you recall what heād just said, āAnd wait, you think youāre my only friend here?ā
He scoffs, āAm I not?ā
āNo,ā You huff right back at him.
Kusakabe cocks a brow at you as he rolls that lolipop of his to the left side of his mouth, āWhat other friends do you have here?ā
Sheepishly, you lift your shoulders a bit, āThereās also Takuma,ā
He meets your words with a blank stare, ā...Takuma?ā
āIno, Nanamiās assistant.ā
āPfft, how the hell are you two friends?ā Kusakabe snickers, āYou barely even see the guy.ā
You let out a dramatic gasp, āHeās my neighbor, I told you this weeks ago!ā
Your assistant tilts his head in protest, āMmh, no, no I donāt think you did.ā
āI did!ā You exclaim.
āNah, Iād remember that. But uh, just ācause heās your neighbor doesnāt make him your friend.ā
āWell, he is.ā
At that, Kusakabe lifts both his hands as if to admit defeat, āOkay, so youāve got two friends here instead of one. Big difference. Does that mean youāll go tell him about your āpersonal physical issuesā?ā
Tell Ino about how not getting laid is slowly driving you insane so that he could go mention that to Nanami in passing? Yeah, youād rather not. ā...No.ā You murmur.
Smiling now, he returns right back to his original point, āOkay then, who better to tell than me? I wonāt judge you, you know that.ā
āYeah butā¦ā Your eyes wander around before you finally cave, āI canāt tell you about it here.ā
āSee,ā Kusakabe plucks the lollipop from his lips and points at you with it, āThatās an answer I can accept.ā To which you open your mouth to make another comment but he cuts you off before you get the chance, āSo how about we go out for drinks tonight?ā
Out of all the things he could have said to you, thatās probably the last thing you expected from him. As you watch him place that piece of candy back on his tongue, you give him a bewildered gaze and quirk a brow at his sudden confidence, ā...You and me?ā
āDuh.ā He replies all sassily as if it were the most obvious thing in the world (it was). The look in your eyes shifts and he immediately stands up straighter and clears his throat, āI mean, yes maāam.ā
Nodding, āAre you asking me out?ā You ask next.
āW-What? No, I just meant like,ā He makes this motion with his hands between where he stands and where youāre seated, āYāknow, as friends.ā
āOhhh.ā You drone as your nodding becomes more understanding.
Kusakabe holds his hands out and sends you this friendly smile, his tone overly comfortable with you, āSo, is that a yes or what?ā
Again, you send him that same look from before and heās quick to remember who heās talking toāshutting his eyes for a moment and gathering himself once more. āWould you like to go out for drinks with me tonight, miss?ā He asks formally.
You smile proudly, āMuch better, and sure.ā
You watch him pull a fist toward himself and mouth out a little 'yess' in excitement before snapping his fingers toward you, āAlright, Iāll see you in a couple of hours then.ā He says, before biting down on the candy in his mouth with a loud crunch.
Then he turns off with an exiting wave and you eye the way he gets closer to your office door before your gaze falls down onto a pile of documents sitting on your desk, āOh, Kusakabe, one more thing before you go.ā You rush out as you lift said documents.
He stops immediately and turns back to you with a hum, āHm?ā
Tilting your head all kindly, you extend your hands out, āCan you file these for me, please?ā
For a second, he stares at you and the impending pile of doom work in your hands, puffing out a heavy sigh as he drags his feet back over to you. Then his hands graze yours as he takes the pile from you and heās got this disappointed look in his eyes, ā...You really love puttinā me to work, donāt you?ā
āI doo,ā You coo out happily. Then he takes the short pile you have extended out to him. āThank you.ā
āUhuh.ā Is the last thing he grouses out before finally exiting your office shortly after.
Left alone to your thoughts, it begins to dawn on you what youād agreed to. Going out with your assistant wouldnāt be any different from the way Nanami goes out for drinks with his VPs would it? No, of course not! If anything, this is exactly what you need.
A night of drinks with a friend. As cliche as this may sound, what could go wrong during one harmless night of fun with your assistant?
Itās not like youāre gonna fuck him by the end of it.
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Why are ao3 readers like this
If I ever get comments like this I am fucking deleting them.
This is shit behavior from little shit people who have been trained by social media to demand instant gratification.
Go read an entire real paper book. See how long it takes, and imagine how many times longer than that it took to *write*
Go watch a -Network Television- show WITH COMMERCIALS, and only allow yourself to watch one episode per week.
Teach yourselves patience, you little shits.
Start writing yourselves, and see how far you get. See how long it takes you to get to a GOOD, PUBLISH-WORTHY 1,000 words. 5,000 words. 10,000 words. Not rambles, not snippets, and definitely not AI-generated garbage. Real, coherent story telling. It is a labor of love, to go from a concept, to a story. Sometimes, it's not enough to love the story. It doesn't get finished. Interests shift, inspiration dies. That is part of the human experience.
You are NOT Entitled to the rest of a story that was posted for free, for fun. Fuck you. Double fuck you for the audacity of asking the audience "what if I just do it myself lol"
Sorry I'm a little tipsy and this made me Big Mad.
Someone said recently that we've moved past "babies first fandom" behavior and are now solidly into "people just being assholes" territory, and they're right. It seems like a lot of newer fans are refusing to learn basic fandom etiquette, despite the plethora of fellows both preaching and modeling proper behavior and literally begging them to respect the basic tenets of fandom.
It's like that post (I can't find it but if someone knows what I'm talking about, please feel free to link it) that talks about how Hanlon's Razor ("never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity") should always be followed by the fact that, at a certain point, stupidity becomes willful, and therefore malicious. At first, "babies first fandoms" were just ignorant, but now, that ignorance is willful, and therefore malicious, and it's getting old.
I really am blessed in my wicked ways. My readers know I can take months, sometimes more than a semester to update a few works, because my brain is hooked on another one, or because I'm busy, suffering, dying, burned out, not in the correct vibe, whatever it may be. They never demanded an update from me, not on Ao3 nor on tumblr. But I'd probably not only delete comments like that, I'd block the people leaving them too, because no, no one can finish my fics for me.
Only I know where they are going, only I know how to make them work the exact way they are supposed to work, only I know how to guide my dolls to do the shit I want them to do. For someone to comment some shit like that I know they have no real life experience nor eloquence enough to even see where a piece is headed, the simpler it may be, so that would be the utter bastardization of a piece of media. Fucking hideous.
Anyway, thank you guys for being, as I always say, the best readers any author could have, ever. Thanks for the kind interactions, the questions, the love and patience. I don't mind if people ask me when I'm updating or if I plan to update, like, at all. The shit I hate is disrespect.
A WALTZ ALONG A RAZOR'S EDGE
don't go Nanamin don't go
nanami kento was is anything but causal
you remember the day you first saw him like it was yesterday. the day was ending as the sky turned a pinkish orange. the walk home felt much harder than usual due to the excessive heat. you stepped inside of a local bakery to buy a sweet drink to cool you off.
he didnāt notice you at first, he was too engrossed with reading the menu in front of him. you took advantage of his obliviousness and studied him carefully. his blonde hair was perfect, not a single strand out of place. his beige suit was crisp, without a single wrinkle in sight. it made him look like someone important. tired eyes scanned the menu once more before he walked up to the counter to order.
out of all the things in the shop, nanami decided to order bread. yes, bread, even though they had pastries galore lining their displays, the man chose to order bread instead.
you were baffled to say the least. to each their own butā¦bread? you made a face before quickly looking away. he paid and tipped generously then sat down at one of the tables.
you ordered, chatted with the cashier, and waited patiently as they made your drink. to kill time, and to avoid staring at him again, you scrolled on your phone.
little did you know, nanami noticed you the second you walked in. how could he not? you were wearing a beautiful yellow sundress that made you glow. every time you beamed it felt like the sun itself was shining down, brightening up the day. he was curious, but a bit shy. would offering you the seat across from him freak you out? yes, nanami decided, yes it would. if some random stranger told him to sit down across from him, heād politely decline. unless it was you of course. it was something about you that drew him in and piqued his curiosity. nanami snuck another glance at you. this time, your eyes met. you were already staring at him. you quickly looked away, embarrassed to have been caught in the act.
nanami felt the air in his lungs thin when your eyes locked. despite the fact he was just caught staring, he looked at you again. he couldnāt explain why, it was like looking directly into the sun as a kid when you know youāre not supposed to, but he did it anyway. why? because it was worth it. curiosity killed the cat, but the cat died in the bask of beauty and warmth. and you, you were that defined. nanami was sure of it. you captivated him without even trying, just by existing.
unprepared to go another day, another second without being able to bask in your presence, he got up from his seat and approached you. he surprised the both of you by making such a bold move so suddenly. he cleared his throat before speaking.
āexcuse me, i was justāā his mind went blank. what was his excuse for bothering you again? āi was wondering what drink you ordered. iāve been coming here for so long iāve yet to try their drink selection.ā or their anything selection. nanami bought solely bread hereā¦but you didnāt need to know that.
you blinked at him. āoh i uh, asked her to freestyle it. itās my first time here, so i asked her if she could just make what she thought was bestā¦ā you responded sheepishly. āyou and i will find out, together, i guess?ā you said with a laugh. he chuckled softly, a small smile peeking through.
that was your first ātogether.ā there were many more after that.
on your first date, he made his intentions as clear as ever. āi think youāre intelligent and beautiful. iād like to get to know you more, if thatās okay with you.ā you smiled shyly behind your wine glass at the restaurant he got reservations for the second you said agreed to going out with him at the bakery.
āiād like that.ā you nodded.
he walked you up to your door later that night. he made sure you got into your apartment safely before driving off. each date after that, he surprised you more and more. flowers every date, learning new baking recipes together, teaching you danish, dreaming of a trip to malaysia. never for a moment did you doubt nanami's devotion to you. he was a breath of fresh air in a world that tried to suffocate you every chance it got.
before you knew it, you couldnāt imagine a world without together. without your breadwinner. until you had to.
the call with yuji started off silently. you said his name repeatedly, but got no reply. a voice in your head told you that something had gone wrong, but you refused to believe it.
āiām really sorry,ā he eventually croaked into the phone. your heart dropped to your stomach. āsorry? sorry for what yuji?ā you chuckled, but it was forced. you sat down on the coach and tried to make yourself busy. you went back to ironing nanamiās work shirts and put the ear to your phone.
āā¦yuji?ā
ignoring the pit in your stomach wasnāt smart. you felt sick to your stomach. you got up and poured yourself a glass of water. still, nothing from yuji. the time lapsed almost the minutes now. maybe he had to leave his phone unattended to do something? you patiently waited by the phone for a couple more minutes until he finally spoke.
ānanami⦠heāhe didnāt make it. iām so sorry, there was nothing iā¦ā you drowned his voice out, those first few words wounding you. the hand holding the phone trembled. you watched, frozen in place, as the phone slipped out of your hands and descended to the ground. even from here, you could still hear yujiās voice, small as ever, giving you his condolences. the pang in your chest traveled through your veins to the rest of your body. you couldn't move. couldn't breathe. couldn't think.
you sat there, barely moving an inch. your mind immediately went to the pain he must've endured. tears started to form in the corners of your eyes. you blinked them away and choked back a sob. yuji called out your name again, but it sounded so distant that it barely registered in your head. you wanted to respondāyou really didābut you were struggling to get oxygen in your lungs. the last thing you needed right now was pity, even if it wasn't ill-intended.
after a few minutes of hyperventilating in the middle of your living room. you listened for yuji. he was quiet now, seemingly giving you some time to compose yourself. a beat passed before he said the words that completely shattered you:
"in his last breath...he told me to tell you he loved you. more than anything."
you collapsed. your knees went completely weak as his words sunk in. the pang was backāno, it never went away. it intensified, squeezing your already stressed heart. more tears spilled down your cheeks. it felt like the walls of the room were closing in and you couldn't escape. you didn't want to. what was the point now that the person you loved the most was gone?
luckily for you, yuji decided to twist the knife as well.
"and he murmured something incoherent. i think it was... something something don't worry...malaysia?"
your mind immediately flashed back to when he first told you about it. how desperately he wanted to go. you offered to go there as your honeymoon destination, but he refused. he insisted to go where you wanted to instead. you selfishly agreed, and now you have to live with the fact that you took that away from it. he could have seen the one place he had his sights set on, but he gave it up for you. your husband did that a lot. he quite literally gave his last words to you. to let you and the world know that he loved you, more than anything, and he somehow already knew youād blame yourself for malaysia.
but it was too late. you would blame yourself for the rest of your life. you clutched one of his collared shirt to your chest, chest tightening for the nth time that night.
somewhere in the background, you heard yuji say something about coming over. you didn't reply. instead, you laid your head on the couch and closed your eyes to meet your love in the only place he was sure to beāyour dreams.
you could practically feel the sand in between your toes, light breeze kissing your face. the sweltering sun was difficult to bear, but you were on a mission. you scanned the beach and spotted the person you were looking for. your husband was sun lounging and reading a book further down the beach. you walked up and beamed at him. ironically, he seemed completely unaffected by the heat. there was no umbrella shielding the chair from the sun. in fact, he appeared to be drawn to it, facing it and staring, hard. the the second you approached him, he set the book aside and greeted you.
"there you are. i was wondering if you had gotten lost."
you giggled, the sound music to nanami's ears. "you wouldn't let that happen, now would you?"
he shook his head. "of course not," he said solemnly. "plus, iāll always be here waiting for you."
"promise?" you held out your pinky.
he hooked yours with his own.
"promise."
you woke up in a cold sweat, chest heaving. the room blurred. you tried to blink away the tears, but they wouldn't let up. you gave up and let them fall once more. even though it was just a dream, it still hurt. he was never coming home. he broke his promise before he could even get the chance to make it, and that truth burned. that night, you cried yourself to sleep, holding one of his shirts closely to your chest. you could sleep forever if that meant not keeping him waiting too long.
shitpost ... barely proof read ... n i don't have it in me to make it cuter :/ taglist: @vanillaapples, @kamislop , @jiyuspassion, @valberryboos, @rengoatku, @palomakiss, @mykirstein, @popeheywardssecretgf, @kentonami, @sunnyfieldsz, @megssleepygirl, @bookenbash, @6x-x9 , @coveredinbloodyfangs, @gumballpython, @satorusdreamgirl, @katsulee, @multi-fandomreaderwriter, @jeansreversecowgirl, @bowiesprettieststar2, @thebirdsarewatching17, @satolune, @pinkpantherrrrss, @priamvr, @0soleilmist, @v4mpyyb4tzz + join taglist here
A non-writer asked me "but where do you get your ideas" and i genuinely did not know how to explain that it's not a place. it's not a website. it's not a folder. it's that i was on the bus and a woman was holding a paper bag very carefully and something about the way she held it made me need to know what was inside and then i needed to know why she was sad about it and then there was a whole person and then there was a whole story and the bus had already stopped and i missed my stop. that's where.

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Writers have two modes and they are "i haven't written in three weeks and i am rotting from the inside and everything feels wrong and i don't know who i am anymore" and "i wrote for four hours straight and forgot to eat and it's dark outside and when did that happen and i feel like a god" and there is nothing in between. no chill. no medium setting. just famine or feast and a very confused nervous system.
the reality of being a writer
Especially the last one!



