美咲

why did it feel like cheating even though it clearly wasn't?? heeseung had no obligation to stay loyal to you, even if it was expected of him to. well, you had assumed the two of you were sort of locked-in after what had occurred these past few weeks.

your relationship with him felt like it had developed so fast so quickly, but in a good way. in the way that you felt he understood you better than most, also in the way that he listened to you like every single word that left your lips mattered to him.

that kiss on the forehead from him a few weeks ago came back to mind. god, your stomach twists again at the memory.

now you sort of wish you just committed to the jake thing. because jake was attractive. objectively, painfully attractive even. the kind of attractive you used to lose your mind over before any of this got complicated.

but the more you actually got to know him, the more the crush started fading into something lighter. easier. he was easy to talk to, but you don't think you would've pursued him even if heeseung didn't come into your life.

the campus pathways are quieter now. your shoes scrape lightly against the pavement as you make your way toward the back building where giselle and sunoo had been waiting.

you spot them immediately.

sunoo is sitting slouched across one of the outdoor benches, scarf falling off his shoulder while he complains about something, clear with his body language.

giselle is beside him, scrolling through her phone while occasionally nodding along to whatever he could possibly be doing.

"there you are," giselle says first the moment she notices you approaching. "took you long enough.

sunoo looks up instantly, his eyes narrowing. "why do you look like that?"

"like what?" you grumble, taking a seat next to sunoo, who turns toward you properly now.

"like you just came back from war, or something." sunoo says, shrugging. "was talking to jake really that bad?"

you open your mouth, but pause. because where did you even start? your brain feels like someone shook it around and left all the pieces unsort. was heeseung just playing in your face?

"uh," you start slowly. giselle looks up from her phone, turning it off.

"stop edging us, [name]."

sunoo nods immediately. "seriously. your dramatic pauses are stressing me out."

you groan quietly, rubbing your face, "okay- so.." you exhale. "heeseung asked me to hang out with him today, right?" you glance at sunoo and giselle, who are both nodding along. "and then i like, see him with sieun later."

sunoo's face twists in confusion. "what do you mean 'with sieun'? like what were they doing..? don't tell me you cucked them.."

giselle snorts quietly beside him.

you shoot sunoo a glare at his comment. "like talking," you say quickly. "outside near the fountain." you hesitate, "and then she hugged him."

giselle’s eyebrows lift slightly, "oh shit..really?"

sunoo slowly turns toward you again like he's processing seventeen things at once. "..and what did he do?" he asks cautiously now.

you stare down at your hands for a second, glancing back up. "..he like didn't push her off or anything, i don't know."

sunoo immediately makes a pained expression, "okay, that's rough."

"thank you," you say flatly, pursing your lips in annoyance.

"wait," giselle cuts in, more thoughtful now. "did it look romantic? or was it like… emotional?"

you blink, thinking. because honestly, you don't know. you only saw it for a few seconds.

"i don't know," you admit quietly. "i just saw her hugging him and then i left."

sunoo leans back dramatically against the bench, running both hands over his face. "this is why i hate men."

giselle raises an eyebrow at sunoo, "you're literally a man, and you're friends with heeseung. pick a struggle."

sunoo side-eyes giselle, "okay, well." he pauses, stuttering on his words. "..i didn't realise he was being an asshole. he made it seem like he actually liked [name]."

"he doesn’t have to be an asshole," you say quickly, a little defensive without meaning to be. "i don’t think he did anything wrong. it’s not like we're-" you gesture vaguely, "anything official anyway."

giselle tilts her head slightly, watching you. "okay," she says carefully. "but you can still feel weird about it."

"yeah, i do feel kinda weird about it. and he asked me to hang out today - like, what am i even meant to say?" you sigh, taking your phone out of your pocket.

"you're meant to say 'no'?" sunoo says, like it’s obvious.

you shoot him a look. “that's literally just avoiding the problem, i feel like it isn't helpful."

"it is helpful," he insists. "it's called self-preservation."

giselle gives him a side glance, "he’s not wrong though."

you pause, thumb hovering over your screen as you pull your phone out properly, "so what, you think i should just tell him i don't wanna see him anymore?"

she shrugs, "do you mean in general or today?"

your eyes widen, "i didn't even consider ending the relationship, that wasn't even an option to me." you pause, bringing your knees to your chest.

"..do you think i should?"

"[name], slow down." sunoo stops you from overthinking, patting your shoulder gently. "you don't even know the full story. what if her dog got hit by a car and she needed comforting, or something?"

you stare at him, "..that is such a specific example."

"i’m trying to help."

giselle snorts quietly beside you. "his point is right, though," she nods, agreeing with sunoo. "you saw like five seconds of a conversation."

you exhale slowly, resting your chin against your knees, "i know." you mumble, "but like why didn't he push her away if everyone, including himself, claims that he hates her?"

"because real life isn’t usually that dramatic," giselle suggests, shrugging. "people don’t always shove someone off them just because things ended badly."

sunoo nods reluctantly beside you. "yeah," he says. "especially if it caught him off guard."

you frown slightly, still unconvinced.

"or," giselle adds after a second, "he might not hate her as much as everyone thinks he does."

your stomach twists again at that, and sunoo notices immediately. "OKAY, wait, no." he says quickly. "don’t listen to that one either. that’s evil."

"i’m being realistic." giselle defends herself, before turning to glare at sunoo. "you're literally his close friend, shouldn't you know how he is?"

"well that's why im defending him," sunoo shoots back instantly. "heeseung isn't the type to mess with people for fun." he turns to you, "if he genuinely didn't care about you, i'd tell you, [name]."

your eyebrows lift slightly, "what if he just isn't telling you?"

"[name], we have a whole group chat dedicated to getting you two together and he's literally in it."

"...you what?"

giselle holds in her laugh, "oh my god, sunoo. you didn't tell her?"

sunoo rolls his eyes, "whatever. that's for another time." he looks back at you, "[name], he point is-he likes you enough that multiple people got involved. voluntarily. that's not normal behaviour for someone who secretly doesn't care. so in my opinion, just hear him out."

sunoo was probably right. there was no way any normal person would go through all of that just to play around like he was hypothetically. but what if heeseung wasn't a normal person? the thought slips in before you can stop it, but you sigh. "okay, fine. yeah, i agree."

giselle tilts her head at you, watching your face for any change in expression. "so you’re gonna talk to him?" she asks.

"how am i even meant to bring it up?" you ask, eyebrows furrowed. "oh 'hey heeseung, how are you? by the way, i saw you hugging your ex-girlfriend. mind explaining yourself?'

"yeah," sunoo says immediately, nodding like that’s a completely reasonable script.

"yeah," giselle agrees at the same time.

you blink at both of them, "are you guys kidding?"

"no," sunoo says seriously. "that's literally perfect."

"it's direct." giselle adds. "getting to the point is like the best thing you can do. don't beat around the bush."

on cue, a notification buzzes from your phone. your heart drops instantly. you don’t even need to look at the screen to know who it is, because it's from the unique text-tone you had set for heeseung specifically.

"oh!" he says quietly, but he leans forward excitedly. "that's him, isn’t it?"

giselle's expression shifts too, leaning closer to you as well. "open it," she says simply.

"eugh.." giselle retches, "why does he use the word 'link'? are you some sort of sneaky link?" she asks, peeking over your shoulder to look at your screen.

you instinctively tilt your phone away, but it’s too late. you sigh, "okay, i'll just go fuck myself."

"sorry, sorry." giselle pats your shoulder apologetically, like she's trying to undo the damage of her own comment.

you shake it off, unbothered. "it's fine. what do i say?"

"do you have read receipts on?" sunoo asks.

you look up at him slowly. "obviously not. jeez, who do you take me for?"

"damn, sorry for asking, the fuck." sunoo scoffs, "just leave it. unless you wanna confront him person right now."

"no? what the hell?" you say instantly, eyes widening. "but i can't just ghost him. i'll just tell him i can't meet him today anymore, or something."

sunoo squints, looking at you like you were personally ghosting him. "are you sure? i feel like you should just bring it up."

you nod your head, "..i'll do it when i'm ready, i dunno. today isn't the day."

giselle studies your expression for a second, before nodding in agreement. "honestly, i agree. maybe he'll even figure out he's in the wrong if you ghost him, lol."

"you're so toxic, oh my god." sunoo facepalms, leaning back against the wall.

you let out a small, tired laugh despite everything, shaking your head. "can you both stop?" you mutter. "i'm already confused enough. i'm just gonna say i can't meet him today. easy." you press send, already having typed the message while the two of them were talking.

he even remembered that you were on an assignment free period? heeseung always noticed those small things about you. it was one of the reasons you thought he actually liked you, but how could he be so attentive to you, and his ex girlfriend at the same time?

"what the fuckk, [name]." sunoo says, eyes scanning your messages as you show him. "are we deadass?"

"what?" you shoot him a look, genuinely confused. "i wasn't even mean about it."

sunoo looks up at you slowly, disbelief written all over his face. "if a girl sent me those messages i would think she hated me, or something."

you stare down at your screen again, thumb hovering over the message. "if he thinks that based off my messages from one day," you say quietly, "then maybe our relationship wasn't as strong as i thought."

giselle immediately perks up, smiling. "standing on business," she says, impressed. "i see."

sunoo turns to her instantly, "why are you cheering that on?"

"because she's right," giselle shrugs. "if one text ruins everything, then it wasn't stable anyway."

"at that point, just ask him about the whole thing and ask him why he was hugging sieun." sunoo deadpans, "-if you wanna see how locked in you guys actually are. i dare you."

you pause, biting the inside of your cheek. "..that's doing too much. and i don't even know how to come about it."

"pass me the ball, [name]." sunoo says, extending his hand out.

you blink, "what?"

"your phone."

"absolutely not."

giselle snorts. "give it to him."

"WHY are you enabling him?" you snap, clutching your phone closer to your body.

sunoo points at you, "i'll send one simple message. no drama, just facts."

you hesitate, but you pass him your unlocked phone. giselle immediately leans in over his shoulder as soon as it's in his hands. "don't make me regret it, sunoo."

"relax," he says, already typing. "i'm a professional."

"you're literally not," you mutter.

he ignores you, his thumbs typing fast. after he stops typing, he reads over it once. "..okay, there."

you lean forward immediately, "what did you write?"

sunoo turns the screen toward you.

you want to throw up. and heeseung already read your message, what the fuck.

you physically slap the phone away from your face like it burned you, turning your head to the side sharply. "get away from me." you lurch back, "i'm not reading that."

"ooh, he's typing." you look up to giselle, who's already grinning. does this girl get off at your misery?

sunoo grabs your wrist lightly, forcing your phone down a bit. "listen to me," he says firmly. "he read it. that's good. it means he's not ignoring you."

you shake your head fast, "sunoo, i'm not reading it. can you respond for me? please." you're practically begging now.

sunoo exhales through his nose, rubbing the back of his neck, "okay, fine."

you look up at sunoo who's reading over the message heeseung wrote, which you assume is something along the lines of, "yeah, of course." how was this man so annoyingly nonchalant in situations like this?

sunoo scoffs while reading the messages from heeseung, which is never a good thing. you straighten instantly.

"what did he say?"

sunoo tilts the phone slightly toward himself again, eyes scanning the screen like he’s trying to decode a problem set. "this guy," he mutters.

sunoo hands you back your phone, and your eyes widen at the sheer size of his message. "oh, shit. why is the message so long..?" your voice trails off as you continue reading. "i told you we shouldn't have said anything." you mumble, as you finish reading the messages.

"at least you know he isn't boyfriend material..?" giselle jokes, trying to lighten the mood, which doesn't really work.

you sigh, "..yeah, i guess."

you haven't spoken to heeseung in a few days, or nearly a week now. he's messaged you - multiple times, actually. you haven't responded because you don't know what to say, and you're a little hurt that he just brushed your concerns off.

you've read all his messages, you just haven't replied.

you ended up agreeing to study with jake for one of your chemistry tests. even though sunoo warned you jake was distracting, the test was only worth fifteen percent of your grade, so whatever.

"[name], what answer did you get for question three?" jake asks, readjusting his glasses slightly as he nudges your foot with his own to grab your attention. he's sitting next to you, currently.

you blink up at him, snapping out of your daydream. "question three? wait." you look back down, scanning your revision papers. "i got c. i checked the answers already, and it was c there too."

jake groans, leaning back in his chair. "i don't understand the question, dude."

you glance back down at the worksheet, pen hovering over question three. "what part don't you get?" you ask, sliding your paper closer to him.

jake leans in closer, tapping the question with his finger. "like, this bit. the question is worded so weirdly."

you read it again, 'standard titration setup, concentration, volume, mole ratio.' it's easy, you know it is. but your brain keeps slipping.

jake nudges your foot again under the table lightly. "you still with me?"

you look back at him, "yeah. basically, just convert the volume into litres, then find the moles. after you do that, multiply the concentration.." even though you're the one explaining it, you aren't paying attention to your own words.

"see, like this?" you tap your pen against your working out, "you can use mine as reference if it helps." you slide your notebook a little closer to him.

jake smiles at you. "i thought you said you weren't good at chemistry."

your eyes drop back to the page. "..i'm not." you say quickly, "i- just, this part's easy. it's all repetitive."

you weren't good. it was everything heeseung had made you revise over the weeks still engraved into your brain.

'don't skip steps. you'll lose marks.'

'yeah, that's right, see? you get it now.'

'wait, don’t rush it. do it properly first.'

your cheeks heat up at the fond memories, but you shake your head, refocusing on the guy in front of you now.

jake leans back in his chair. "still. you explained it better than our teacher."

"to be fair," you start, a small smile on your face as you look back at jake. "our teacher isn't very good at explaining things. why do you think i was failing the class before?"

"you were failing before? no way." jake snorts, making you scoff.

"well you're about to fail if you don't practice question three properly, idiot." you snap back, leaning back in your own chair.

jake doesn't respond straight away, a small grin making its way onto his features now. instead, he leans forward, like he's closing the space between you on purpose. his glasses catch the light as his eyes stay on yours, like he's more interested in you than the question.

"..what?" you ask way too quickly as you lean further back into your seat, trying to maintain some sort of distance. the table feels way smaller than before.

jake tilts his head slightly, "nothing, nothing." he says, but he doesn’t move away from you. you raise an eyebrow, your grip tightening around your pen.

"go do question three." you mumble out, glancing back down at your own workbook, but you can feel him staring at you in your peripheral vision. like, straight at you. you don't dare look up now.

why is he still like that? he's supposed to be stuck on question three, not staring at you like you're the part he actually wants explained. you sigh, "sunoo was right about you being distracting." you mumble as you continue solving the next question. you finally glance up at him.

"am i?" he replies, eyes flicking briefly to your lips, then back up again like he didn't mean to get caught lingering there.

don't overthink it, it's jake. he's just like this naturally. he was always like this with everyone.

you clear your throat, forcing your attention back to the page. "yes." you nod, "you are."

"only because you're more entertaining than chem-"

"[name]?" a familiar voice calls out, making your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach. whatever jake was saying dies mid-thought. you glance up slowly, seeing heeseung approaching your table.

he looks out of breath, like he rushed to get here, or soemthing.

your mind immediately goes to the worst. why is he here? how long has he been here? did he see jake leaning in like that? did he hear anything? of course he didn't, no, wait, maybe he did. why does it feel like you were just caught doing something you shouldn't have been doing when you weren't even doing anything wrong?

when heeseung spots jake, something in his expression changes. it's subtle, but then his jaw clenches, just slightly. his eyes focus in on the space between you and jake, noticing the close proximity between the two of you.

you swallow, locking eyes with him. "oh, heeseung. hi." you offer a small smile, which clearly looks forced.

jake offers heeseung a genuine smile, "hey, heeseung." heeseung offers him a nod of his chin in response, "hey."

he takes another step forward, a subtle shift in his gaze indicating that he could tell the mismatch in your tone and your expression. "can we talk?"

jake, who's still seated beside you, doesn't interrupt. he's just on his phone, anyway.

"uh," you hesitate, not sure whether or not you can handle the confrontation right now. "..we're studying." it comes out weaker than you intended.

heeseung's eyes flick briefly to the workbook on the table, then back to you. "i can see that, but it'll be quick. i promise."

you chew the inside of your cheek for a second, before taking a deep breath in. "yeah- okay. outside, right?"

"yeah." heeseung's gaze softens and he almost sighs a breath of relief, "outside. i won't take up too much of your time."

you push your chair back slightly, the legs scraping softly against the floor. you turn your head, offering jake an apologetic look. 'sorry, i'll be back soon.' you mouth to him, in which he nods in understanding.

heeseung waits for you to catch up to him, unfortunately. you felt awkward looking at him. none of you speak until you reach the exit of the library, heeseung holds the door open for you as you walk out.

"thanks." you mumble as you step through.

it was a bit late, around eight p.m. not many people were currently on campus. heeseung lets the door fall shut behind him, and now it's just the two of you standing outside.

"uh," he starts, avoiding eye contact. "..i just wanted to apologise again for our conversation a bit ago." your hands shift slightly at your sides, clinging onto the sleeves like your life depended on it.

"i know you're upset about the sieun thing." heeseung says, "and i don't blame you, because it did look really bad out of context. it wasn't like that, i promise."

heeseung finally looks at you properly, like he needs you to understand this part clearly. "i'm not sure how long you were watching for, he says, quieter now, "but she hugged me and i pushed her off right after, i swear."

"you don't have to forgive me, i just wanted you to know that at the very least. i would never play with your feelings, [name]." the way your name roles off his tongue makes you want to fold straight away.

heeseung's words make your chest feel tight in a way that you can't properly label as good or bad.

you don't even know what to say. the problem started from sieun, yes, but you couldn't blame her for everything, you suppose. there was already some unhealthy deep-rooted insecurity that you had started feeling the moment you even found out about her existence that definitely would've caused some sort of rift in your relationship with heeseung in the far future, anyway.

"..i dont know what i think of all that yet," you start quietly, making heeseung's eyes lighten up. at least you weren't one hundred percent upset with him, and that this was salvageable.

"okay," he says gently. "that's… fair." heeseung sighs, "i miss you, [name]." he swallows, jaw tightening slightly like he's frustrated with himself.

"it's only been a few days that you stopped talking to me but it genuinely feels like," he pauses, "..like something's off. with us."

"i'm not trying to pressure you," heeseung adds quickly, voice softening again. "i just- i don’t like how quiet it's been between us."

you hesitate, not knowing what to say. for a guy so shy just a weeks ago, he was top notch at expressing how he felt when he needed to. "..i felt the same way." you admit, "but how am i meant to know you're not going to just hurt me the same away again?"

"because i already dealt with sieun." he says simply, tone flat.

dealt with sieun? why was that so ominous and creepy? it lowkey sent a shiver down your spine. okay no, don't spiral. he probably just means he handled it. talked it out and ended things. normal stuff. it's just weird wording.

"dealt with..?" your voice trails off, almost regretting asking as soon as the words leave your lips.

heeseung's expression doesn't change, "yeah." he nods, "i handled it. but that's irrelevant, now."

irrelevant? why does it feel like it shouldn't be irrelevant? if it's irrelevant, why mention it like that? you shift your weight to your other foot slightly, suddenly noticing how cool the outside air is around you, as well as how quiet the campus is.

heeseung watches you for a second longer, then softens his tone slightly. "what matters is you and me," he says. "i’m not trying to make this bigger than it is," heeseung adds. "i just didn’t want you thinking something that wasn’t true."

he's looking directly at you now, watching your expression. his eyes are steady, but there’s something in them that looks almost pleading, like he's holding himself back from saying more despite staying silent.

"heeseung.." you start quietly, "i don't think you're lying to me. i just overthought it - a lot." you admit, embarrassed.

heeseung nods once, his adam's apple bobs as he swallows, as if he's trying to settle something in his throat before he speaks.

"..im still figuring things out," you say, "but i don't want to be weird with you. so i'm not mad at you."

"okay," he says gently. "i can work with that. that's all i needed to hear, honestly," he adds, voice softening as he exhales in relief.

"i just don't know where we stand." you blurt out, "and it kinda makes me feel unsure."

heeseung looks at you, "where we stand? as in the label for our relationship?"

that's when you realise how unclear everything has been between the two of you.

"if that’s what you mean," he says lowly, "i didn't want to pressure you into anything." heeseung avoids eye contact with you, his jaw tightening like he wants to stop himself from saying too much, but physically can't.

"..but i'm in-love with you, [name], and i have been for a while."

your eyes widen in surprise. in love with you? but you had only known each other in such little time. how could he possibly be in love with you? that doesn't make sense. no, not even that - it shouldn't make sense.

your mouth opens slightly, but it closes when heeseung starts speaking again. "i know that might sound corny," he mumbles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "but ever since my eyes landed on you years ago, i knew it had to be.

years ago?

"..it's not corny." you reassure, "i just didn't realise.. your feelings were so strong," you mumble, "and from so long ago."

heeseung finally looks at you with more confidence, "i'm not saying you have to feel the same way right now," he adds quickly. "i just, wanted you to know i'm not saying this randomly."

"..i like you too, heeseung." you admit. you felt sort of bad claiming to only like him after he just confessed to being in-love with you, but you can't force yourself to say something you don't actually mean. "i just didn't know all of this.." you say, gesturing to yourself and him. "so i don't know how to respond properly."

his expression softens, "you don't have to match me just because you feel pressured, that's not what i want. i just want you to be honest with me."

heeseung looks at you for a second longer than before, "..if you do like me," he says carefully, "then can i ask you something?"

you nod gently, and he swallows, but continues.

"will you be my girlfriend, [name]?"

your eyes widen at his directness. his question is straight to the point, so your answer should be too.

"..yeah," you say quietly. you shake your head, clearing your throat. "okay, yes." you say with more confidence.

heeseung lets out a small breath of relief, before coming closer to you. his hand gently grabs your face, angling your face to match his own as he looks into your eyes.

he leans in slowly, giving you every chance to pull away if you want to. when you don't, he presses his lips to yours. the kiss is unhurried, as if he's still trying to process that this is real and not a dream. heeseung pulls back slowly, forehead close to yours, breathing a little uneven.

"okay," he whispers, almost disbelieving, a faint grin forming on his face. "you're really my girlfriend."

you can't help but smile back, "i'm sorry for ghosting you, by the way." you apologise, unable to leave the feeling of guilt.

"it's okay. i understand why you did that." heeseung says gently.

"..should we go back inside now? jake's still waiting." you suggest quietly.

the mention of jake's name shifts heeseung's expression slightly, but it's subtle. "yeah." he says, "we should."

you nod, about to start walking, but he catches your wrist. "wait."

you raise an eyebrow, confused.

he hesitates, giving you the impression that he doesn't like that he's admitting this out loud. "..don't study with jake. just ask me for help, next time. i don’t like it." he says simply.

your brows knit slightly at his words, but you nod. "okay, sure."

"i know nothing happened," he says quickly. he's not accusing you of anything. "i just - i don’t like how it felt walking in and seeing it."

"yeah, okay. i understand." you say, nodding your head. you push the door open and step back inside the library, with heeseung following behind you.

guys are we happy they finally locked tf in.. omg ❤️😂

also lowkey what are ur guys' thoughts on whether i start doing requests.. bc im lowkey running out of ideas (in general, not for this fic lolol) 😅

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taglist:

'print these contracts, organise them in chronological order, and have them ready in my office before you leave.'

that's what heeseung had told you to do, sliding a thick folder across the desk to you. this is what you deserve for disrupting your boss in an attempt to flirt with him, you suppose.

you remember staring at the files, and then at heeseung - asking him if he was serious.

"why wouldn't i be?"

"because there’s like… a hundred pages here," you say slowly, flipping through the folder with disbelief. "and half of these dates aren’t even labelled properly."

heeseung doesn’t look remotely sympathetic.

"then figure it out."

you clutch the stack of half-printed documents dramatically to your chest. "but i'm just a helpless employee, sir."

"don’t call me sir like that."

"like what?" you try to stop the grin from spreading on your face.

heeseung leans back in his chair with a quiet sigh, his watch gleaming under the lights. that looked expensive. "you know exactly what you’re doing."

and maybe you do.

because for the past three months of working under department manager lee heeseung, you'd made it a personal mission to get him to crack.

and to crack him.

"close the door on your way out."

that didn't get you any sympathy points. and now you're leaning against the wall, waiting for the barely-working printer to finish it's job - which would take a millennium judging from how much it already printed in the last twenty minutes.

the printer wheezes like it’s on its last breath before spitting out another single page.

you stare at it.

"you are genuinely useless," you mumble to the machine. another painful whirring sound answers you.

great.

you slide down the wall slightly, arms crossed as you wait for the next page to crawl out. the office is mostly empty now, just the distant hum of keyboards from the few employees still staying back late.

you're contemplating breaking the machine completely at this point. maybe heeseung would consider actually buying a new machine. that would benefit everyone.

the printer suddenly stops again.

"you actually piss me off." you walk over to it, pressing a few buttons before the screen flashes low toner in mocking little letters. you close your eyes, sighing.

"have you really reached a new low that you're talking to printers now?" jay walks by, pausing his steps as he sips on whatever iced beverage he was drinking.

you turn your head slowly toward jay with the blank expression of someone seconds away from a mental breakdown. "please don't start with me."

jay glances at the printer screen before letting out an understanding hum. "ah. toner issue."

"it’s been printing for thirty minutes and i have maybe," you look down at the pathetic stack of papers in the tray, "twenty pages."

"why do you need to print all that, anyway?" jay says gesturing with his free hand. you let out a long sigh, shuffling the papers into a neater pile against your chest.

"heeseung dumped it onto me. apparently the board meeting tomorrow needs physical copies of every contract involved in the merger." you pause, blinking up at jay. "why, you wanna help?"

jay lets out a short laugh, taking another sip from his straw. "very funny joke." he smiles at you, before shaking his head. "absolutely not."

your face falls immediately at the false hope. "oh, you're so fake. i'm never staying overtime for you again."

"that's crazy, because i distinctly remember you ignoring my emails for three business days last month." jay says, tone flat as he acts unbothered.

you roll your eyes, adjusting the heavy stack of papers in your arms. "whatever. i hope heeseung dumps ten times more work on you tomorrow."

"he won't, i'm his favourite." jay boasts, grinning lazily, making you scoff in annoyance.

you exhale through your nose, "i don't think his favourite would be working overtime."

jay just walks past, patting your shoulder. "you should just ask heeseung to fix the printer, it'd help everyone out." he's already around the corner before you can even utter a word out. what an idiot.

the printer makes a weird nose, and you whip your head around to look. yeah, it was definitely cooked. the screen flashes something ominous, low toner, paper jam, and a blinking error icon. sighing softly, you turn it off through the switch at the wall to just stop the loud, unnecessary noises it was creating.

you crouch down, gathering the scattered pages from the tray. around thirty printed overall, twenty properly done, the rest fading out halfway through like the printer gave up mid-sentence.

you stack them neatly, tapping the edges against your palm to straighten them. your eyebrows furrow as you skim the half-finished text. yeah, heeseung was going to cook your shit.

you exhale through your nose, straightening the stack one more time like that’ll magically fix the situation. whatever. it’s not like you personally sabotaged the machine. the thing had been dying for weeks anyway, it was way out of your control.

you’d just tell him that. the printer was already on life support. management issue. structural failure. not your fault.

yeah.

solid plan.

you slip the printed pages into a neat folder, tucking the thicker stack of contracts under your arm as you make your way back to heeseung's office. he definitely wasn't going to expect you back so soon.

you reach the door, and it's pretty much silent inside. well, besides for the loud ass typing sounding from heeseung's keyboard, you presume.

you hesitate for half a second, then knock. the typing doesn’t stop, of course it doesn’t.

you push the door open anyway.

heeseung is right where you left him, seated at his desk, sleeves slightly rolled up now, eyes fixed on his monitor.

you clear your throat.

"sir, the printer's out of ink again." you say, gently placing a stack of papers on heeseung's desk - half printed.

heeseung barely looks up from his laptop. "mm," his fingers continue gliding across the keyboard smoothly.

those fingers were the same ones you fantasized touching you all over.

"did you try replacing the cartridge?" he says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

you stare at him flatly, "no, i just thought i'd announce it for fun."

that finally earns you a glance. bingo.

it's a slow one too, heeseung's eyes lift from his monitor screen to your face, his features showing how he currently feels - which is clearly unimpressed. "you're acting very sarcastic for someone who's asking for my help."

despite the attitude, you're reminded once again why you don't mind that your boss to overwork you. even if he isn't smiling at you, the warm feeling in your gut that usually appears when you talk to him is definitely present.

you recover quickly, though, because you have practice.

"i'm not asking for help," you say, lifting the small stack slightly. "i already did it. technically."

heeseung's gaze drops to the papers again, then back to you. he pats the empty space on the table. "put them down." his tone is calm, matter-of-fact, like he already expects you to listen. which, annoyingly, you do. he was your boss, after all.

you walk over and place the papers where he indicated, careful not to let the half-printed pages slide out of order. heeseung immediately pulls the stack closer, flipping through them with quick, practiced movements.

you shift your weight slightly as he scans the faded text on one of the pages, flipping through the papers.

"..this one's unreadable." he says flatly, not even looking at you.

you chew your lip nervously, "in my defence, we all told you the printer was barely working."

you hate how much you get off from this.

seriously. nothing turns you on more than your annoyed boss, always looking unimpressed no matter what actually comes out of your mouth.

most people would probably be intimidated by him, but you enjoy poking fun at him. probably because every now and then, you manage to crack through that perfect composure for half a second.

it’s addictive, honestly. even if he never actually flirts back.

he mostly just stares at you like you’re a problem he hasn’t figured out how to solve yet.

any normal person would’ve probably gotten embarrassed by now, maybe they would’ve stopped after the first few failed attempts at flirting with their boss, but it's not like heeseung even acknowledges your attempts, anyway. there's almost nothing to be embarrassed about.

heeseung just shakes his head softly, setting the papers back down onto the desk before reaching up to loosen and readjust his tie slightly. "it's late," he says calmly, "go home."

that snaps you back to reality, and you have to hide the disappointment that you feel from his words. why must he always look at you like you're the least attractive person in the room?

this was lee heeseung, your boss. you don’t even know what you expected. for him to flirt back? after months of him pretending not to notice every teasing comment you throw his way?

you clear your throat quietly, composing yourself once again. "..what about the contracts?"

"…what about the contracts?"

"i’ll handle them." heeseung nods, looking down at his watch.

"alone?"

he glances back at the papers, "you already stayed late."

you stare at him for a second. no way the boss that constantly forced you to work over time was showing concern.

you try to recover with humour instead. "wow. are you worried about me, sir?"

there’s a pause before heeseung’s gaze lifts to yours again, completely unreadable. he looks upset - yes! this is exactly what you were hoping for. that heeseung would be angry enough to just bend you across his lap and-

"go home," he repeats.

ouch. okay.

"right. goodnight, sir." you say, nodding your head.

you bow politely out of habit, keeping your expression carefully neutral even as embarrassment starts creeping up your neck. he doesn't say anything back even as you walk out of his office.

the second time is all thanks to jake, to be honest.

"so, how was overtime last night?" jake asks, sitting across from you as the two of you eat lunch in the office lunch room. there was practically nobody else there. the two of you decided on a later lunch because you wanted to finish a project before the day got away from you.

you raise an eyebrow, pausing mid-bite. "why are you, asking me that?" you don't hide the way you emphasise the 'you', because everybody knew that jake was actually heeseung's favourite employee, and unfortunately for you, his close friend too.

jake blinks innocently, "what's that meant to mean?"

you lean back slightly in your chair, squinting at him. "you know exactly what that means." you clear your throat, trying not to make it obvious that you clearly care a lot about this. "..did heeseung say something?"

his expression shifts, mirroring you as he leans back in his chair slowly, stretching his legs out under the table. "why would heeseung say something?"

"oh, don't play dumb with me now, jake." you scoff, flicking your food with your fork.

you stare at him, and he stares back. you immediately hate how calm he looks.

"…because you’re asking me about overtime," you say flatly, deciding to say it outright because he's clearly beating around the bush.

"i ask people about overtime all the time."

"no you don't, jake."

"yes i do."

he sighs dramatically, like you were being the difficult one. "fine. i asked because jay mentioned you were still here after nine."

of course he did. you pinch the bridge of your nose. "this office is just one big surveillance system, apparently.'" you poke around at your food again, "it's always something with you two. oh, and i can't forget sunghoon as well." you say, internally rolling your eyes at the thought of them.

"that's not true." jake defends himself, taking offense to being labelled as someone who gossips, even though it was true.

you raise an eyebrow, unconvinced. "are you trying to convince me, or yourself, jake?"

he pauses, leaning back in his chair like he’s deeply wounded by the accusation. “wow. you're being very intense today."

"what did heeseung say, jake?" you crumble, holding your face in your hands. thank god the room was empty aside for you two, because you looked like you were about to go insane.

there’s a long pause, and it's way too long for your liking especially.

when you peek through your fingers, jake is watching you with a look that's way too entertained about your misery.

"okay," you scoff. "fuck you then."

"..why are you acting like he confessed something dramatic?" he asks slowly, taking another bite of his food.

"because you're being especially ominous about it all." you deadpan. "be honest, did he shit talk me? is he gonna fire me-"

"what?" jake nearly chokes on his drink.

you immediately sit up straighter. "oh my god. he is, isn’t he."

he’s pausing. why is he pausing? people only pause when they’re calculating how bad the truth is. you knew you should've just taken the lift to the other department's floor and used their printer, but no - you were lazy and despite being in the presence of your insanely hot boss, you still wanted to go home earlier last night.

"no, no, what? he isn't firing you." jake reassures.

you narrow your eyes. "that pause was too long."

"i was chewing."

liar. people don’t chew like that when they’re innocent. that was a guilty chew.

"liar."

jake laughs under his breath, shaking his head like you’re exhausting but entertaining.

"answer the question." you say sternly, reminding him of the subject at hand.

if he says yes, you're quitting - no questions asked. you're not letting heeseung win. you will resign before you can feel formally embarrassed by your boss and a dumbass printer. fuck the printer, by the way.

he leans back, finally giving you something resembling seriousness. “he didn’t shit talk you.”

"..he didn't?"

"no. i'm serious."

you blink, slowly putting your fork down. "okay," you say carefully, "so, what did he say then?"

jake finishes swallowing any food in his mouth before he speaks again, watching you like he's deciding how much damage he wants to do. "he just asked if you were always like that."

"always like what?" you furrow your eyebrows, confused. always like what? in the way you were a shameless flirt? or was he asking because now he thought you were completely incapable of finishing a simple work task. well, it wasn't a simple task, to be fair.

jake shrugs, "his words, not mine."

"jake," you clutch your skirt with your now empty hand. "you're being extremely unhelpful right now."

"how can i help?" jake grins as he takes another bite of food, "i'm telling you everything i know."

"it's not enough," you whine slightly, straightening your posture. you hate how pathetic that sounded the second it left your mouth.

before he can respond, a loud crack of thunder suddenly echoes outside the building. both of you glance instinctively toward the large windows lining the break room. rain patters heavily against the glass a second later.

"okay well, shit." you sigh. the rain is heavy too, not even the drizzle type. it's heavy. your co-workers that had already left were so lucky that they wouldn't have to go home in this weather.

"i didn’t bring an umbrella," you mumble immediately, making jake look back at you with absolutely zero sympathy.

"unlucky." he shrugs, leaning back. "i have one though, we can go home together if you'd like."

"..are you going to the station afterward?" you ask, and he nods.

"why don't you just ask him?' jake suggests, bringing the focus back to your conversation. the way he acted made it seem like it was the most normal thing ever.

"ask him what, jake? ask my boss if he's talking about me?" you shake your head. "okay, whatever."

you don’t even know why you care this much. logically, this should not matter. your boss asking one vague question about you should not have your entire nervous system reacting like this.

"so, how's your day been?" you ask, shitfing the subject. jake looks at you.

jake looks at you, blankly. "..we've been together the whole day."

oh right. you two have been stuck doing that stupid project heeseung assigned you both. honestly, you’re surprised neither of you snapped first because that was treacherous. pages and pages of data entry, revisions, formatting issues, and enough spreadsheets to the point that if you saw another one, you'd actually go insane.

right on cue, the break room doors swing open.

both you and jake glance up automatically, though jake twists around in his chair more obviously than you do, considering his back was facing the door.

your posture straightens on instinct, a smile forming onto your face. you don't even realise that you're doing it till jake turns around, a stupid grin forming on his face at your expression.

you clear your throat quickly, forcing the smile down into something more normal. meanwhile, heeseung either doesn’t notice, or pretends not to. both are bad, to be honest.

heeseung walks further into the break room calmly, phone still in one hand as his gaze flicks briefly between you and jake seated together.

"why are you two here so late? your day should be over." he asks casually.

jake glances at the clock on the wall before looking back at him. "we lost track of time doing the project you assigned us."

"sounds like poor time management," heeseung replies immediately, making jake laugh.

you straighten slightly in your chair. "we didn’t ‘lose track of time,’ we were literally fixing the spreadsheet you gave us because half the formulas were broken."

heeseung's gaze shifts to you, then he glances briefly to the windows, taking in the rain. then back at the two of you. he doesn't even acknowledge that you defended yourself.

"jake," he says, voice returning to business immediately, "i still need the revised figures before tomorrow morning."

"yeah," jake nods, giving heeseung a thumbs up. "i was gonna stay back another hour and finish it."

your head turns toward him immediately, "..you were?"

"yeah," he says simply. "it’ll take another hour max."

heeseung hums once in acknowledgment before his eyes shift back to you, 'which means," he starts, "you can go home."

your brain pauses for a second. just you? heeseung wanted you out so bad, you sort of felt honoured. "i can stay too," you blurt out, offering before thinking.

both men look at you. jake looks confused and heeseung looks unreadable. you internally slam your head into the table.

why did you say that so fast. oh my god.

"there’s no reason for both of you to stay," heeseung says calmly. "you already finished your part."

"she's going home with me," jake speaks up, also standing up to rinse his container in the sink. heeseung raises an eyebrow, and jake notices.

"what?" jake asks innocently, turning the tap off. "it’s raining. she doesn't have an umbrella."

heeseung pauses before he looks directly at you, "you didn’t bring one?"

you suddenly feel strangely defensive. "the forecast said it was only gonna be cloudy." jake snorts next to you, and you

heeseung stays quiet for a second longer. his expression is unreadable, before he exhales softly through his nose, like he’s already regretting whatever thought just crossed his mind. "..you don’t need to wait for jake."

you raise an eyebrow, turning your head to look at heeseung front-on, who looks mildly inconvenienced by his own words already. "i’m driving anyway," he says flatly. "i can take you home."

a spike hits your heart, and you feel oddly flattered. because realistically, who wouldn’t react a little when their super attractive boss offers to drive them home? especially when said boss happens to be wearing your favourite tie from his rotation today. which you are aware he didn't do on purpose.

your eyes landed on it this morning, maybe lingered a little. the deep colour looked unfairly good against his dress shirt, sleeves still rolled neatly at his forearms from working late. you could only imagine those same arms around your neck later-

wait, you still needed to reply to heeseung. you clear your throat quickly. "you don’t have to-"

"i know," heeseung cuts in smoothly, which hits at your spirits for a moment, but then your mood lifts again anyway, a stupid smile threatening to tug at your lips before you can stop it. because now it sounds less like obligation and more like choice, or, you could just keep telling yourself that.

jake nods, a little too excitedly. "okay, that's fine with me." he presses his lips together, visibly trying not to blurt out something obnoxious.

heeseung glances over to you, "go get your stuff. we're leaving." he says, using his chin to gesture toward the door.

'we're leaving'? not, 'meet me downstairs' or 'i'll wait downstairs., but he's saying we're leaving together.

"okay.." you answer, way quieter than intended.

jake offers you a knowing smile, "drive safe," he says, looking directly at you instead of heeseung.

you're going to strangle him. heeseung either ignores the weird tone completely or chooses not to acknowledge it. you stand quickly before jake can make this worse, grabbing your phone from the table and adjusting your bag over your shoulder.

"finish your work," you mutter at him while passing by.

jake grins shamelessly. "have fun."

you barely make it two steps out of the break room before you become hyper aware of the fact that heeseung is following behind you. probably to his office, it was right next to your cubicle after all.

act normal, why are you suddenly forgetting how to walk. you facepalm internally, you've literally been alone with him before. this is fine.

the hallway feels longer than it needs to. you finally reach the row of cubicles, the familiar maze of monitors and dividers coming into view. you can that your desk is just ahead.

you step inside, grabbing your bag, which is next to your computer. you can feel heeseung's presence behind you, standing outside the cubicle. you grab your things quickly, shoving them into your bag with slightly more force than necessary. guess he already got all of this things and was ready to leave.

you finally straighten, turning around. "okay! i'm ready." heeseung doesn't even blink at your enthusiasm, turning around and walking toward the elevator.

"let's go." he says simply.

you catch up slightly, trailing after him. the elevator is ahead, reflecting both of you in the metal, slightly distorted. he presses the button, and the doors open immediately. the two of you walk in.

you step in first, instinctively moving to one side, and he follows right after you. it's silent and uncomfortable.

you clear your throat slightly. "..long day?" you say, immediately regretting how weak that sounds.

heeseung’s reflection in the doors shifts slightly as he glances at you.

"it was." he agrees simply, not saying anything else. awkward. a small smile tugs at your lips when you see heeseung in the reflection.

the elevator hits the floor to the carpark, the doors slide open to reveal the dimly lit carpark.

"you’re always this quiet after work?" you ask lightly, stepping out of the elevator doors as you walk toward his car.

he glances at you briefly. "you’re always this talkative?"

you grin immediately. "only around people i like." the response slips out smoother than expected, and yet he doesn't say anything back, holy airball. you can hear both your footsteps echoing softly through the near-empty carpark.

heeseung’s lips slightly curl up in a smile, but it disappears basically the second it appears. he rounds what you assume to be his car, and honestly you couldn’t name the brand, but you admit it looked expensive.

you stop beside the passenger side for a second, eyeing it openly. "wow."

heeseung glances at you while unlocking the doors with a soft beep.

"what?"

"your car looks rich." you say, in awe. you reach for the passenger seats door handle, sliding in. the seats are soft, and the car is noticeably clean. the only thing you can smell is a light tinge of his cologne.

heeseung just reaches forward to adjust something near the dashboard, entirely calm. "seatbelt."

you obey, arm reaching over your upper body to grab your seatbelt. the movement pulls your blouse slightly at the shoulder as you tug it across yourself, the quiet click sounding through the car once it locks into place.

you glance over, and heeseung is watching - as if he was making sure you were actually putting it on.

you narrow your eyes at him immediately. "were you expecting me not to?"

heeseung rests one hand against the steering wheel, expression calm. "no."

you scoff, "liar."

he hums softly, finally pulling the car out of the parking space smoothly. "you asked."

"and yet you answered dishonestly." you poke the inside of your mouth with your tongue, glancing out the window.

"i answered you professionally."

narrowing your eyes, "that isn’t even the same thing."

he stifles a laugh, but you notice before he can conceal it, making your stomach flip on instinct.

you slump further in the seat, only now realising the proximity of the two of you. the car feels way smaller than what it did just minutes ago.

glancing back over to him, you see how one hand rests loosely against the steering wheel while the other adjusts the wheel slightly as he turns out onto the wet street. that was like, the hottest thing you’d seen all week.

it feels intimate despite the fact that he’s just driving you home.

wait.

you forgot to give him your address yet he’s still going the right way.

blinking, your posture straightens almost immediately, shuffling back upright in your seat. "..wait."

heeseung keeps his eyes on the road. "what?"

you look directly at him, "how do you know where i live?"

there’s a small pause, before heeseung clears his throat. "your employee file."

you narrow your eyes instantly. "that sounds creepy when you say it like that."

"it’s literally HR information."

"okay, but why do you know it?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.

"i’m your boss."

"that does not answer my question at all."

a faint sigh leaves him through his nose, like you’re being difficult on purpose.

which, okay, maybe you are.

"you’ve worked under me for almost a year," he says calmly. "i know where most of my employees live."

you stare at him suspiciously.

"..do you have everyone’s addresses memorised?"

"no."

"just mine?"

that finally earns you momentary glance, but he looks back to the road a second after. "you’re asking a lot of questions."

"well, only because you aren’t answering the one i actually want answered." you say, shifting slightly in your seat.

rain continues tapping steadily against the windows, soft wipers cutting through the sound every few seconds. heeseung sighs once again, "fine, which one is that?"

you stare at him for a second, trying to hide your suspicion. "you know which one."

"humour me."

he’s doing this on purpose.

you can hear it in his voice now, he sounds so composed. heeseung makes another left turn, the way you remember taking to your house.

"why do you know where i live specifically?" you ask, quieter this time. not that you mind. if it were anyone else, maybe it'd be a little creepy - yeah, but heeseung was welcome over at anytime.

the red light flashes briefly onto his face as he slows down, you take in his pretty features.

"because," he says evenly, "you're usually the last person to leave the office." your stomach does cart wheels at his answer, even if it’s the simplest thing you’ve ever heard.

you try to hide the fattest grin that tries to force itself onto your face. "..you notice that?" you can’t stop yourself from asking.

"you make it difficult not to." if it were anyone else, you’d take that as flirting, but heeseung’s tone is so flat, that if you actually did take it as flirting then you’d need to be admitted to the nearest psych ward for delusion.

so you don’t, even if you want to. you stare out the window instead, watching rain streak across the glass, "are you saying i’m a difficult employee?"

"that isn’t what i said."

"but it’s what you meant, right?"

he exhales softly through his nose, barely a sound. you catch it anyway. the car moves smoothly through the wet streets, indicator ticking quietly as he changes lanes.

heeseung continues, "you stay late."

you glance at him again. "so do other people."

"not consistently."

"that’s because you don’t give anyone else the annoying projects." you argue back, before realising. "does that mean you’re keeping track of when i leave?" you sound a little too hopeful, it’s pathetic.

"it’s part of my job to know what’s happening in my department." he says flatly, shutting that idea down immediately.

you sigh softly, what a boring answer.

heeseung slows down the the familiar streets, and your apartment complex comes into view. heeseung eases the car toward the side of the road rather than pulling straight in.

he stops smoothly, gently turning the wheel as the engine quiets down. you grab your bag, unbuckling your seatbelt. "thank you, i really appreciate it." you’re about to grab onto the door handle, but heeseung halts your movements - grabbing your wrist.

it isn’t tight or forceful, just enough to make you pause. you blink at him, "..what?"

he doesn’t answer immediately. instead, his gaze flicks briefly toward the rain outside, then back to you. with his other hand, he reaches into the backseat pulling out…

an umbrella.

black. simple. clearly kept in the car for situations exactly like this.

he had one the whole time?

"take it." he pushes it toward you, before leaning over your body and opening the door for you. you unclasp the umbrella, turning back.

"good night." you smile, and heeseung nods.

"good night."

you thank him again before holding it over your head and walking into the entrance of your apartment building.

okay but, he had an umbrella the whole time and yet he insisted on taking you home. well, insisted is a stretch but he offered.

that had to mean something.

you had hoped, at least.

the third time you tried flirting with your boss, it was completely unintentional. in the way you weren't even trying to seek him out this time, at least. you were planning that for later.

yes, you had worn an extra nice outfit that day because you wanted to catch his attention. not that it worked, it never did. you don't even know what made you try again.

it starts like a normal morning. no heeseung ordering you around this time. which in hindsight, should've been a bad sign. no emails, no urgent requests, and no heeseung appearing behind your desk randomly - before giving you a stack of papers.

you clock in, sit down, open your laptop as minutes fly by in what feels like seconds. you're at your desk, half-awake as you scroll through your emails, when a voice pops up at your cubicle.

"hey." sunoo is leaning slightly against the divider, smiling at you in that friendly way he usually does.

you sit up, leaning back against your chair, "what's up?"

sunoo and you don't even try being formal with each other now, it's been a while since the two of you met. "before you ask," he starts, already dropping a stack of papers onto your desk, "yes, this is your problem now."

you glance at the pile, "seriously?"

sunoo laughs softly, resting his forearms on the divider. "it's just some missing formatting stuff from yesterday’s file. i fixed half of it but I got dragged into a meeting."

"wowow," you sigh, skimming over the papers. "you owe me."

"i owe you?" sunoo repeats, tilting his head softly.

"yes," you nod, looking up at him. "this is so much work, sunoo. i'm busy."

"busy doing what? you were scrolling emails and pretending to work," he corrects, making you glare up at him. "god forbid i actually give you to work to do."

"yeah, but it's your responsibility - not mine." you argue back.

sunoo shifts slightly, leaning more comfortably against the divider like he has nowhere else to be. like your desk is just part of his routine. "fine," he says. "we're still on for lunch, right? you're not ditching me for jake again?"

"that wasn't intentional. i had to finish my project, you know that." you don't hesitate defending yourself.

"yeah, yeah." sunoo smiles, his tone condescending like he doesn't actually believe in what you say.

you open your mouth to retaliate, because you refuse to allow yourself to be slandered this early in the morning, but sunoo interrupts. "why're you dressed so fancy today, hm? your blouse looks expensive."

you pause, glancing down at yourself. "in a good way, right?"

"yes, of course." sunoo states obviously, "how can you look expensive in a bad way?"

you ignore his question, "..really?"

sunoo nods immediately. "yes really. you look like you’re about to leave us for a better company."

you hum, pretending to think about it, smoothing your sleeve once like you’re just noticing it exists. "hmm."

"what is it this time?" sunoo sighs, making you scoff.

"bold of you to assume there's an issue, sunoo."

he narrows his eyes at you. "there is an issue. you’re doing that thing where you pretend you’re not doing something."

"what does that even mean?"

"you're overdressed." sunoo spits it out, taking in your outfit.

you tap the edge of the stack of papers on your desk, suddenly very interested in the alignment of the corners. "this is my normal everyday outfit, but okay."

sunoo’s gaze drags over you again, shaking his head. "that's not normal, you can't fool me."

you blink. "excuse you?"

"that blouse is not ‘normal.’ that’s ‘i have plans after work’ clothing."

"..i might have plans," you admit casually, lying out of your teeth. you had zero plans after work today. the most you were planning on doing was hopping on the game after dinner.

oh, but you wished you had plans. you wished your plans revolved around overtime, where you'd crawl underneath heeseung's desk and give them the most toe-curling blowjob any man has ever received.

sunoo’s eyes widen a fraction. "you do?"

you shrug. "hypothetically."

he leans in a little, lowering his voice. "with who?"

this little nosy rat. at least sunoo kept his mouth shut, though. had you told jake and the entire workplace would've heard about it by now.

you open your mouth, but then stop. familiar footsteps sound, and they're getting closer toward you.

heeseung walks into the view beside your cubicle, holding a folder in his hand. he looks at sunoo, who's still leaning casually against your divider, then at you, in which you offer a sheepish smile.

"good morning, heeseung." sunoo chirps, pulling his gaze away from you to greet heeseung. heeseung's eyes briefly flick from sunoo to you, then back to sunoo in almost under a second.

"good morning." he replies finally, but his tone is entirely flat.

sunoo, who is still undeterred, smiles wider. "busy day today?"

"yes," heeseung glances at the folder in his hand. "aren't you scheduled for a meeting that.." he pauses, looking at his watch before his eyes lift back up to sunoo, "started three minutes ago?"

sunoo blinks, offering heeseung a sheepish smile. then he straightens abruptly, like he just remembered that urgency is a concept. "oh, right. that's me."

you watch, barely holding in a reaction, as he takes one step, then another. "see you at lunch!" he calls back way too brightly, before turning his body entirely as he speeds down the hallway.

the silence is loud again, or it feels like it - despite your co-workers being occupied with chatting as well as the soft clatter of keyboards.

you blink once at the empty space sunoo was occupying a second ago, seeing heeseung just standing beside your cubicle with the folder in hand, expression unreadable as ever.

why must he look at you like you're some outdated fashion trend?

"was that necessary?" you ask lightly, nodding vaguely in the direction sunoo disappeared.

he doesn’t even look that way. "yes," he replies, "he was distracting you, and he was late to his own meeting." you shrug in response.

heeseung calls out your name, making you look up at him with a soft hum. "yeah?"

his eyes flick briefly to you, handing you another fuckass folder. it's heavy too, filled with enough paper to ruin your morning. you begrudgingly hold back the urge to roll your eyes. you swore on everyone's life that heeseung assigned you the most heinous roles known to man.

yes, your boss was hot, but was he hot enough for you to suffer at work everyday? yeah, probably, actually. you don't even know why you bothered questioning that.

you glance at him, still holding the folder between your fingers. "are you trying to torture me to death? because it's working."

"it's work," he says simply, "don't get distracted."

you squint at him, "it's killing me, heeseung."

that earns you a soft smile that lasts for literally 0.2 seconds. heeseung taps the folder once with two fingers, "organise it like the last one you did." he adds.

you sigh dramatically. "you know, most bosses say ‘good morning’ first."

“good morning.” heeseung mumbles, making you tilt your head.

"that was still late."

"those files you're going to organise are about to be late too if you keep talking."

you clutch the folder tighter. "they won't-

but he’s already turning slightly away like the conversation is over.

"bring it to my office when you're done." heeseung says like it's an afterthought, back turned to you.

you freeze slightly. "again?"

he pauses just long enough to glance back at you. "again." and with that, he's gone, walking down the aisle back into his office.

rude, but fine. you had worn your shortest skirt, hoping heeseung would at least spare a glance toward you. a glance that didn't involve him assigning even more work with the flick of his wrist.

now you had to spend another three hours filling out stupid spreadsheets, or whatever was actually in this folder. you sigh, flipping open the page.

the fourth time you flirted with your boss, it’s because he called you into his office just to wordlessly fix his tie before a meeting.

you patter your knuckles against the door of heeseung's office gently. "sir?" using your free hand, you adjust and smooth the lines out of your skirt.

when there isn't a response, you open the door gently. that's usually what that meant, anyway. it was a usual for the two of you.

you step inside, taking in his office once again. his office is neat in that way that feels slightly scary. everything's been placed with intention, nothing out of place. he’s standing by his desk, jacket on, tie slightly uneven.

it isn't that noticeable, you just tend to stare at him a lot. heeseung doesn’t look at you right away.

you clear your throat softly, catching your attention. "you called for me?"

he turns to you, features conveying a look of frustration. "fix this." he says only two words with zero explanation, but you understand almost immediately.

you blink, "..your tie?"

heeseung looks at you like you've asked him something obvious. "yes."

you hesitate, but realise he's the one who asked. you step forward, because apparently this is your job now.

you reach up carefully, fingers catching the knot of his tie. it’s already half done, like he rushed it or did it without caring.

you start by undoing it, re-aligning it entirely. heeseung's gaze drops, not to your face, but to your hands - watching your every move. you feel an immediate shift in the air.

"this feels like something you could do yourself." you murmur, trying hard not to mess his tie up as you keep the mood light.

"..i don't actually know how to tie a tie." heeseung admits, making your hands stop.

you glance up at him, "what?"

heeseung doesn’t even look embarrassed. if anything, he looks mildly inconvenienced at having admitted it out loud. "i never learned," he says simply.

"you're actually lying."

"i’m not."

"heeseung, you wear a tie almost every day." you say, genuinely flabbergasted.

"someone usually does it for me."

you squint your eyes, confused on 'who' this could possibly be. was he actually wifed up and this whole time you had been flirting with a married man? that made sense as to why he would never reciprocate. or maybe he just wasn't into you.

no but, if he was married you'd definitely know. there was no way jay or jake wouldn't have brought it up by now.

"..someone?" you mumble quietly, trying to keep this casual.

"stylists. assistants." he pauses. "sometimes jake."

oh thank god. he was the most single somebody could be, for sure. you smooth your expression immediately, pretending the question meant absolutely nothing, just professional curiosity.

you nearly laugh directly in his face, but you hold back for your own sake. you weren't trying to be assigned the workload of the entire team. "oh my god."

heeseung watches you carefully now, expression still composed, but there’s the faintest hint of annoyance underneath it. "what?"

"nothing," you say immediately, absolutely lying. "it’s just very hard to process that you don’t know how to tie a tie."

"you seem to be deeply affected by this."

"i am." you tighten the knot properly, smoothing the fabric down again. "this changes my entire perception of you."

"you're being dramatic," heeseung says making you scoff, but the sound comes out weaker than actually intended because you suddenly become aware of how close you are to him, catching the faint scent of cologne every time he exhales.

your fingers are still curled loosely around the fabric of his tie, brushing against the collar of his shirt as you straighten it carefully. your heel shifts slightly against the floor as you try not to think about the fact that if you tilted your head up even a little more, you'd be directly in his space.

which, technically, you already are, but like, you'd actually be able to kiss him. your eyes linger on his lips for way too long, and he definitely notices. heeseung's gaze shifts downwards, catching yours in the process. you smile, and he looks away, jaw tightening once as his eyes move toward the window beside his desk instead.

heeseung has never been the one to shy away like that. usually he'd just ignore all of your advances. your fingers tighten around the tie accidentally before you let go completely, stepping back casually.

you got a reaction from him this time.

"..done?" he asks, and you nod.

"mhm." you hum. heeseung finally looks back at you, one hand lifting to adjust the knot slightly where your fingers had just touched.

your gaze lifts again, and heeseung sighs quietly through his nose, like you’re the most exhausting part of his workday. "i have a meeting in five minutes."

"and?" you lean against his table lightly, smiling at him innocently.

"and you should go back to work."

"wow," you murmur dramatically. "using me for my tie-abilities and then discarding me?"

"you’re still on company time." he mumbles, but you don't miss the flush on his cheeks.

bingo! your boss really was into you. it isn't obvious, not in the way you were hoping for, not some dramatic giveaway, but it's definitely there if you're paying attention.

and you are absolutely paying attention.

you tilt your head slightly, practically screaming 'fuck me' eyes, watching him with a type of satisfaction you don't bother hiding. "you know," you say softly, "you’re really bad at hiding things."

heeseung's eyes flick up immediately, and you can practically see him having heart palpitations. who knew your stone-cold boss would fold over something as easy as that?

"go back to your desk," he dismisses you again, steadier this time. when he sees you inching closer, he does a complete one-eighty as he speed walks out of his own office.

your jaw drops. what the fuck?? heeseung, get back here!

you don't bother chasing though. now that you knew how heeseung truly felt, you had him wrapped around your finger.

he had it coming.

the next day you walk into the office, it's a friday.

which is usually a good day. lighter workloads, less tension, and maybe even the rare sight of your colleagues having fun before going home for the weekend.

and you of all people were going to have a good day. heeseung wasn't slipping from your hands again. not when you were going to actively pursue him in the actual shortest skirt you owned. not after the tie incident.

you're halfway through the lobby, eyes half focused on your phone as you scroll through unread notifications, when-

bang!

you nearly let out a blood curdling scream.

your entire body jolts violently as you whip around toward the source of the noise.

jungwon is standing near the reception desk, holding a stack of papers, looking mildly alarmed. the metal sign knocked straight onto the floor was the source of the noise.

when he notices you looking, he offers a smile and a wave. "good morning!"

you stare at him in complete disbelief, one hand pressed against your chest. "jungwon," you speak slowly, "you scared me, holy shit."

his eyebrows lift, "from a sign falling?"

"it's metal! it sounded like a gunshot." you walk over, bending down to pick it up.

jungwon crouches slightly too, reaching for the other side. "you're being dramatic."

before you can argue further, footsteps pass behind the two of you.

"cute skirt."

you whip your head around, glancing up instinctively. sunghoon is walking past with an iced coffee in one hand, slowing just enough to glance at you over his shoulder.

your brain malfunctions for a second, "..ah. thanks." you offer him a smile. at least someone thought you looked nice.

sunghoon gestures vaguely toward you with the coffee cup, "the colour suits you." then he walks off, heading into the direction of the cubicles.

you straighten slowly, still holding the metal sign. "wow."

jungwon looks between you and sunghoon’s disappearing figure, before landing back on you finally. "what happened to bagging the boss?"

you narrow your eyes at jungwon, patting down said cute skirt, "what are you talking about?"

jungwon smirks smugly. it would be adorable if it weren't in circumstances like this. "you should've known better than to tell jake and jay.

your stomach drops instantly. "..they told you?"

"they told everyone."

your jaw drops. what the hell?? you were going to kill park jongseong and sim jaeyun as soon as you found those two. "what are they even saying? and who have they told?"

jungwon laughs at your expression, putting down the stack of papers on the reception desk. "relax. i was kidding." he reassures, "only like, a few people know."

he lifts his hand, counting on his fingers with each name.

"jake, jay, sunghoon, sunoo-oh! and that junior, ni-ki."

"..even the junior knows?" you want to collapse directly onto the lobby floor.

jungwon tilts his head. "to be fair, he figured it out by himself."

"literally, HOW?" you exclaim, frustrated. were you seriously that obvious around heeseung?

"uh, cause you stare like you're in some office k-drama? duh." he sasses, which you do not appreciate.

you scoff, "i do not."

jungwon shrugs, "okay, secretary kim."

you roll your eyes, “secretary kim ended up pulling young-joon, though. so is this a sign?”

“you wish.”

“okay, bet you $50 i can pull heeseung.” you declare, making jungwon raise his eyebrows in shock.

“okay, fine. $50.” you reach out your hand, shaking on it.

then, he straightens his posture and widens his eyes slightly in the worst imitation of you imaginable.

"..heeseung," he mocks your voice, pretending to be you. "wow..your tie looks really nice today.." he places a hand over his chest, "did you get a haircut? you look so handsome and emotionally unavailable this morning."

eyes widening, you clasp a hand over his mouth, effectively shutting him up. "oh my god - i do not talk like that."

"good morning." your entire body goes stiff. you remove your hand from jungwon's face, turning your head.

heeseung is standing there, watching the two of you with a blank face. apparently when jungwon was busy humiliating you, heeseung must've arrived to work. his expression is calm as ever, one hand resting loosely in his pocket while the other still holds his phone. heeseung was so hard to read like this.

jungwon immediately straightens. "morning, heeseung."

you push a smile on your face, "morning, sir." heeseung's gaze travels from jungwon to you.

"..why do you look so stressed already?" he asks, voice flat.

jungwon physically bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing.

you point at him immediately. "he’s harassing me."

heeseung glances over to jungwon with an expression that screams 'i don't believe her whatsoever', so you expect a scolding.

but no.

"jungwon."

jungwon straightens immediately, "yes?"

heeseung's tone stays flat, "you’re not on break."

jungwon blinks in surprise, "i'm literally just talking-"

"you’re supposed to be at reception processing those files," he cuts in, nodding once toward the stack still sitting on the desk. "not standing here causing problems before nine a.m."

hooray! heeseung actually took your side.

jungwon looks betrayed instantly. "i am processing them." his gaze flicks to you, and you stick your tongue out.

jungwon notices immediately, shaking his head like he's re-thinking his life choices. he tightens his grip on the stack of files. "unbelievable." with that, he turns away, walking off.

you're silently cheering in your head when heeseung turns to you next. "you aren't on break either," he nods his chin toward the elevator, "go work."

you pout, "but sir, i have nothing to do."

heeseung looks like he's about to scold you for the use of 'sir', but he doesn't. "you always have something to do," he says simply.

"nope." you shake your head, "jay and i finished the meeting pack preparation." you flash him a smile, way too enthusiastic for someone at work.

you look down for a second, remembering you're wearing the skirt. yoy glance back up, analysing his face. come on, heeseung. at least acknowledge it!

his eyes flick down for half a second, but it's not enough for you to read his expression. "..good." he coughs slightly, clearing his throat. "go help ni-ki, then."

your lips straighten in a frown. "seriously?"

"serious as i can be." you stare at him, and he stares back.

"go. he needs help with formatting." with a huff, you nod.

"fine, fine. see you, sir." you smile, walking past him. behind you, heeseung exhales a sigh of relief through his nose. this was going to be a long day.

when you reach the far end of the office, the atmosphere is completely different from the loud lobby. it's quiet, the kind of quiet that makes every keyboard click sound louder than it should. you can even hear your flats click against the floor with each step.

you scan the desks. ni-ki is lazily seated sideways in an office chair, one leg bouncing softly against the floor, eyes fixed on the monitor.

he doesn't even look at you. "if this is about the formatting issue again, i already fixed it three times." okay, sassy.

you pause beside his desk. "wow," you say. "thanks for the warm welcome."

ni-ki glances up, properly this time. his expression shifts immediately, a slight tinge of confusion before recognition. "oh, you're the help."

"you don't seem very happy to see me." wheeling a nearby chair over, you sit next to him.

he leans back slightly, squinting at you, "trust me. i'm glad it's you and not someone else."

you raise an eyebrow, "oh, spill?"

ni-ki leans down, then tilts his head toward the rest of the office, lowering his voice slightly like it’s classified information or something. "..he sent jake last time, and he 'fixed' it by making it worse."

honestly, that sounded in character. jake was lazy when it came to spreadsheets. "seems like him." you shrug, "so, if you're so good at this, why does heeseung think you need help?"

"he doesn’t think i need help," he says.

you hum. "sounds like he does."

"no," ni-ki corrects, dragging a hand through his hair. "he thinks i need supervision."

"that's probably worst, in all honesty." you snort softly. "that sounds like a polite way of saying you ruin files."

ni-ki points at you immediately. "exactly. see? you get it."

"are you always at the back here? i never see you around front anymore."

"it's better around here. the only person who comes back here is sunoo." your eyes widen. so that's where sunoo kept disappearing off to."

you tap your chin in thought as ni-ki continues clicking through the spreadsheet.

"say, ni-ki." you call, making him glance up at you.

"what?"

you lean forward a little in your chair, "jungwon said something about you earlier."

ni-ki raises an eyebrow, but for the most part he looks uncaring. "said what?"

"keep it a secret." you hold out your pinky.

in which he rolls his eyes as he exhales through his nose like he's already tired of you, but he still shifts his chair a little closer. "you're weird," he mutters, but intertwines his pinky with yours, reluctantly.

you brighten immediately. "okay. so jungwon said you know things about me and heeseung."

"it's hard to miss." he says simply, "i just notice patterns."

you lean forward slightly, still keeping your pinkies linked, "okay then. what patterns?"

"well for starters," he says, "you’re the only one that doesn’t get in trouble for slacking."

you scoff immediately. "you must be joking."

ni-ki finally glances at you, expression flat. "i’m not."

you lean back in your chair slightly. "i literally got sent down here as punishment."

"yeah, and that's a punishment for you? he made me clean the entire storage room when i submitted something late." ni-ki's words make you pause. sure, you already knew heeseung was attracted to you, but special treatment too? awe.

you let go of ni-ki's pinky. "done?" he asks, finally glancing at you.

you clear your throat quickly, snapping back into focus. "right, yeah."

ni-ki shrugs. "it was dusty."

"that’s your takeaway?"

"i don’t like dust."

"fair."

"when are you meant to leave?"

you blink, "leave?"

"from here," he clarifies. "this task."

you glance at the spreadsheet. then back at him. "when it’s done."

he hums like that’s obvious.

"take your time."

hours pass, and you've felt like you've been able to bond with your junior very well, actually. he was entertaining, and was great at multi-tasking. ni-ki was able to keep full-fledged conversations with you while he did his work.

even sunoo came over at some point, pulling up a chair as he sits down with the two of you.

working here was way better than in the cubicles with those idiots. you glance around the quieter section of the office. there are much fewer interruptions, less noise, no one hovering over your shoulder every five minutes. cough cough, jake.

you're mid-conversation with sunoo, standing behind him as the two of you watch something on the monitor together. it feels comfortable as the two of you laugh at something.

"no, wait, pause it again," you say, breathless. "i swear that’s not what he meant to do."

which is exactly why you don't notice the foot steps behind you. ni-ki notices, but you and sunoo don't, still obliviously talking. there's a call of sunoo's name that makes the two of you snap your head back.

sunoo straightens so fast, "oh hi, heeseung."

you slowly let your hands drop from the back of sunoo’s chair like you just got caught committing a crime.

"go home. the day's over, anyway." sunoo nods immediately, standing up as he walks back to his cubicle immediately. ni-ki exhales softly like he’s relieved it’s not him.

damn, you were getting a lot of people in trouble today. oops.

you take a small step back too, ready to follow sunoo back to your own cubicle.

heeseung takes one look at you, "you." he says simply.

you flash him a smile, "..me?"

"go to my office." he says, voice flat. is he mad?

you hesitate, but nod. "right… okay."

he walks past you, checking whatever's on ni-ki's monitor. probably double checking to see if everything's correct. you can hear heeseung dismiss ni-ki home too, eavesdropping. when you realise their conversation is over you speed-walk toward heeseung's office.

you see sunoo, and he waves you goodbye, mouthing a 'good luck'. you nod, waving to him as well. you can see heeseung's office door now. reaching it, you pause for a second. it's the same as usual - neat.

you step inside, closing the door behind you. you’re unsure of whether you should sit or stand. you opt on sitting, taking a seat on his chair.

you wait a few minutes, clicking your heel against the carpet gently. the office genuinely sounded dead outside. was heeseung just wasting your time?

you sigh, standing up and walking toward the door. your fingers curl around the knob, about to open it but it’s pushed open - nearly knocking you onto the floor.

heeseung stands in the doorway, face expressionless. he stares at you, before stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

“sir,” you call out, pitching your voice up the slightest. “are you upset-“

“do you always have to open your mouth?” heeseung pinches the bridge of his nose, irritated. you blink in surprise, shutting your mouth.

once he opens his mouth and realises you’ve actually obeyed, he doesn’t say anything. taking a seat on his chair, he leans back.

“come here.” you look at him, and he looks dead serious. you nod, walking over. you’re standing in front of him now, a confused expression on your face.

heeseung looks up at you with a sigh. “bend over.” your eyes widen.

“what?”

“i said, bend over.” he taps his thigh once, and you get the idea. okay, sure. you move almost a little too eagerly, tripping on heeseung’s foot - but that was clearly planted there on purpose.

your knees hit the floor, definitely bruising as you let out a soft hiss of pain. “why-“

heeseung’s fingers grab your jaw, fingers digging into the skin of your cheeks as you kneel. “stop talking.”

you shut up, nodding. he lets go of your face, leaning back. “clean my shoe.”

your eyebrows furrows in confusion. clean his what? his shoe? with what, a handkerchief? you reach in your pocket, trying to find the small pack of tissues you keep but he nudges your arm with his foot. “with your mouth.”

oh. so he was kinky like that. you look at him, “..are you serious?”

heeseung stares back at you, gaze more intense than you’ve ever seen before. “does it look like i’m joking?” good point.

you don’t answer. instead, you kneel further down, opening your mouth as you lick the base of his shoe. that first swipe of your tongue sent shivers down your spine.

you gag a little in disgust, but then you remembered who the shoe belongs to. the hottest guy you’ve probably ever seen in your life.

so, you persevere, licking another stripe of his shoe, nearing the lace now. you glance up, and heeseung’s just staring down at you, face expressionless. “..did i say you were done?”

you shake your head, “..no, sir.” you lean back down, an embarrassed flush on your cheeks as you unfortunately lick his shoe again, tongue cleaning the side this time. in the worst way possible, you could literally feel your pussy clenching around nothing right now and it was because of the most degrading act ever.

after a few more swipes of your tongue, heeseung lets up. “stop.” you obey, sitting back up, hands on your knees as if waiting for his next command.

heeseung looks down at you, and you feel pathetic - a little. his gaze is scrutinising. he taps his thighs again, making your gaze avert to there. “sit.”

you stand up immediately, straddling his hips. you lean in for a kiss, but he swerves it. embarrassing.

heeseung says your name condescendingly, “you haven’t earnt that privilege.” you feel the wetness in your panties pool at that.

“..how can i?” you murmur, glancing at him.

“you can kiss me if you can make yourself cum just like this.” heeseung says, leaning back in his chair. you scoff, that was easy. just looking into his eyes could probably make you cum.

heeseung raises an eyebrow at your scoff, but you don’t elaborate. “..okay.” and so with that, you move your hips, grinding your clothed cunt right against his thigh. despite the fabric separating the two of you, the heat emanating from your core is unimaginable.

heeseung doesn’t touch you for the most part. his hand travels down your back, fingers tingling your spine as he looks at you, eyes dark. despite knowing you should feel embarrassed, you can’t. this is what you’ve been waiting for, after all.

as you keep grinding, you can feel his dick harden through his dress pants - heeseung refuses to acknowledge it though. you continue grinding, hands on his shoulders as you practically hump his thigh, begging for release.

you bury your face into his shoulder, panting into his ear. heeseung pushes your hair back, pressing open-mouthed kisses along the nape of your neck.

it’s when his hand travels further down your back and onto your ass. heeseung spanks your clothed butt once, and you orgasm just from that, letting out a soft moan. fingers tangle themselves in the back of your hair, pulling you away from his shoulder.

“there’s no way you came just from that.” heeseung mocks, almost holding back a laugh. you’re about to defend yourself, but heeseung speaks again. “but then again, we both know that this is what you wanted, right? to be bent over my desk like a cheap whore, desperate for me to fuck you?”

your cheeks heat up, hands pressing against his chest. “if i say yes, will you do exactly that?”

heeseung scoffs. “you seriously have no shame at all. get up.” you scramble to your feet, thighs shaky.

he stands up after you, bending you right over his desk. you whimper when your face hits his table a little roughly but it’s whatever. a hand trails down, going underneath your skirt. heeseung cups your pussy with his hand, shoving your panties to the side.

“you’re seriously this wet with this sort of treatment?” he sounds surprised, despite his tone still being flat. his hand delivers a sharp spank to your cunt, making you whimper softly.

leaning down, his mouth is next to your ear. “you seriously think i didn’t notice you wearing those tiny skirts all the time?” he roughly pushes your skirt up, slapping the fat of your ass hard. a pained moan leaves your lips.

“..you never said anything about it breaking dress-code, so i think you liked it.” you mumble out, grinning. he hits your rear again, wiping that smugness off your face instantly.

“so that means you dress like a whore for everyone to see?” heeseung mocks, tilting his head. “might as well show up to the entire office naked. i’m sure they’d all love to see that.” his palm strikes down again, making you choke. he hits hard, for sure.

“i was dressing like that for you-“ you stutter out, choking on a sob. “not anyone else.” heeseung yanks you back up with full force, holding your arms against your back. your back is pressed against his chest, making you dizzy at the proximity. this way you can feel his dick poking you through his pants.

“nobody asked you to do that though, did they?” he kisses your nape again.

you nod your head in agreement, “n-no, they didn’t.”

“good. are you finally learning your place?” heeseung’s hands travel down, going back underneath your skirt as he hooks his fingers on the waistband of your panties. he drags them down with ease, and you step out of them.

“i can.”

“you can?” heeseung mumbles behind you, fingers ghosting your slit. his index finger travels your entrance before finally pushing in - going knuckle deep immediately. you choke.

“i’m not giving you an option.” he sits back down on his chair, pulling you back onto his lap with him. he spreads your thighs with ease, before sliding another finger into your cunt.

“i think i’ve been way too lenient with you.” he whispers into your ear as he pumps his fingers in and out, his thumb circling your sensitive clit.

you let out a shaky breath, “h-how so?” a soft whimper leaves your lips when he hits the back of your walls. his fingers go a bit deeper, hitting your g-spot, and effectively making your toes curl. your walls are literally clenching onto his long digits, unable to let them go.

“well, for starters.” he shoves another finger in, making you squirm. “you act like you own the place, and how does that make me look as a boss?” with one more slide of his middle finger, you cream all over his wrist, your back arching into him.

“stupid slut.” he mumbles, “you’re seriously not good for anything apart from cumming, hm?” heeseung lets you rest on him as you catch your breath, kissing the side of your temple.

you pant, distracted. how has this man made you cum twice already? “y-yeah, not good for anything else..”

heeseung makes you stand, bending you back over his desk again. he lifts the back flap of your skirt, and you hear fabric rustling. he grabs your hands, pulling them against your back as he wraps something around them.

you turn your head and see him tying his tie around your wrists. you turn your head back, cheek flat against the wood of the table. there’s a sound of an unzip, and you feel the head of his cock press against your sopping cunt.

he’s sliding it against your slit, not penetrating it. “..what are you waiting for?” you turn around, frustrated. you try buck your hips back, in which heeseung spanks your ass, making you gasp in surprise.

“beg for it.” heeseung scoffs, making you whine.

“are you serious?” you groan. when there’s no respond from his end you know the answer. “please, please, fuck me.” heeseung doesn’t budge.

you try buck your hips back, but heeseung grabs both of your hips with his hands, crescents digging into the soft flesh making you whimper.

“sir, please fuck me. i’ll be a good girl, just please.” tears well up in your eyes from the frustration of the lack of freedom and movement.

the tip of heeseung’s dick slides smoothly across your slick folds, making you whine deliciously. one hand drops from your hip, and before you know it, you’re impaled onto his dick in one go, his pelvis flat against his ass. your cunt struggles with the intrusion, walls fluttering to accommodate his length. you don’t miss the whimper that leaves his lips when he buries himself to the hilt.

you choke, burying your face into the hard desk, which isn’t comforting at all. he pulls out halfway, before slamming back in - letting out a soft hiss at the sensation of your velvety walls around his shaft dragging him back in.

his fingers dig into the soft flesh of your ass, kneading roughly as he holds you flush against him. “..you’ve been such a needy little thing all week, haven't you?”

a hand wraps around your throat from behind, pulling you closer to him. “just begging for my attention. you’re pathetic.” his other hand moves to your hip, holding you in place as he starts thrusting again, each snap of his hips bruising the back of your thighs.

“c-cause you always ignore me,” you gasp out.

“ignore you? please. i’m giving you exactly what you deserve.” he punctuates his words with a particularly hard thrust, grinding his pelvis against your ass. “tell me you’re going to start acting normally from now on.”

you feel your eyes roll to the back of your head as his dick grinds into your sweet spot, hitting the x marker. “i..” you whimper, “i’ll start acting normally..”

“good girl.” heeseung grabs your jaw, angling you toward him as he kisses you, swallowing your moans and whimpers. pulling back, he looks at you with hooded eyes, his pupils blown wide.

his thumb finds your clit, circling the sensitive nerve. “you’re gonna cum right?” heeseung leans closer to you, watching the way your cunt spasms around his cock.

you nod, “please.” you just automatically assume he’s going to take it away from you, “please, let me cum.”

“you can cum.” heeseung punctuates his words with shallow thrusts, the thick head of his cock kissing your cervix with each movement. his thumb doubles down, applying pressure. you can barely stand anymore, heeseung’s the only thing keeping you up right as your legs tremble.

with a flick of his fingers, you gush around his cock, eyes rolling to the back of your skull. heeseung clamps a hand over your mouth before you can release any loud sounds, just in case someone was still lingering in the office.

heeseung pulls out before he cums himself, forcing you back onto your knees. before you can process what’s happening, he’s already pressing the head of his dick onto your lips.

pressing a soft kiss to his tip, you open your mouth obediently, wrapping your mouth around his shaft. heeseung’s hands tangle themselves in your hair, creating a makeshift ponytail as he controls the pace, moving your head back and forth.

he whimpers when he hits the back of your throat, feeling you gag around his length. “s-shit, right there.” you can’t breathe, nose firmly pressed against his pelvis but it’s okay. the expression on his face right now makes up for any sort of discomfort you could possibly be in.

heeseung starts jerking his hips slightly, hitting the back of your throat constantly. you gag again, tears welling up in your eyes, as well as drool escaping the corners of your mouth to dribble down your chin.

with one more thrust of his hips, he cums down your throat. it’s bitter, but you can barely taste it by the time it’s down your esophagus anyway. he’s panting softly, tucking his dick back into his pants. once he’s done, he starts combing your hair down gently with his fingers.

kneeling down, he wipes any liquid on your face with a tissue. “..was i too rough?”

you’re panting, and dazed, but you shake your head. “n-no. fuck me like that again.”

heeseung sighs, it kind of sounds like one of relief but you can’t tell. “come on, get dressed. i’ll take you home.”

“..i can’t stand up.”

on monday when you come in, the first thing you do is look for jungwon.

and you find him almost immediately, standing near the reception desk. he notices you, of course he does, his expression shifting into one of suspicion.

"oh, hey." jungwoon greets, smiling. you stop right in front of him.

"$50," you say.

jungwon tilts his head, "what?"

"you owe me $50."

his eyebrows lift immediately, "no I don’t."

"oh, you absolutely do."

jungwon turns to face you, "for what?"

"you said I couldn’t pull heeseung."

there's a pause as jungwon just stares at you. "..i said you couldn't-"

"you lost." you cut in immediately.

he exhales, sighing like he's rethinking every single financial decision he's ever made. "i hate this job," he mutters.

you brighten instantly, "..so $50?"

jungwon glares at you, "..i'll transfer it later."

you nod once, satisfied. "good."

this prompt has been sitting in my drafts for ages icl so i finally decided to finish it💔💔

"[name], wait up!" the sudden voice behind you cuts through the quiet hallway so unexpectedly that you stop mid-step. you turn around quickly, and nearly bump straight into jake.

he must've jogged to catch up, slightly breathless as he comes to a stop in front of you.

"oh, hi." you offer a smile, waving lightly. "..what's up?"

"where are you going?" jake says, pushing his hair back with the hand that isn't currently in his pocket.

"uh," you pause, contemplating on whether or not you should lie. you look at jake's face, and it's completely innocent - a big smile on his face. "..the back building?" you answer carefully.

jake's eyebrows lift in surprise immediately. "the back building?" he laughs a little, "what, are you a stoner or something?"

you stare at him blankly for a second before realisation hits. "oh my god, no." you choke out, shaking your head. "i mean, what's wrong with that, anyway?" you raise an eyebrow, crossing your arms slightly.

jake blinks in surprise, "nothing, nothing." he raises his hands in surrender, "i didn't know you were gonna advocate for them, damn."

"i'm not advocating." you mumble immediately. jake shrugs.

"what else are you going there for, then? backshots-" he almost looks like he regrets saying that the moment it leaves his lips, about to blurt an apology when your eyes widen.

"oh my god."

jake freezes for a second, like he's trying to figure out whether you’re offended or just grossed out.

"dude, i literally always make that joke and i get shit for it." you groan, putting your phone into your back pocket.

jake stares at you, "..wait, seriously?"

"yes! i literally said it today and everyone airballed me. it's literally funny."

"okay, no, because it is funny," he says, nodding his head. "your friends just don’t understand real comedy."

"or maybe we just have terrible humour, jake." you shrug, "who knows?"

"i don't think so." he says immediately, already shaking his head. "you saw how professor kim was laughing at my jokes." he brags, making you scoff.

"professor kim laughs at literally everything, i don't think that even counts. and he literally got mad at you right after because you couldn't do the titration properly."

jake freezes, "okay, that's entirely irrelevant." he says quickly, "plus, it was on purpose. we were trying to see which ones would react the coolest."

you pause, staring at him. "you're lying."

he shakes his head in denial, "am not!" jake says, arguing back, before his lips pull into a gentle smile. "maybe if you joined our group you would actually have fun in class and wouldn't need to leave early."

you gasp at his subtle dig. "no thanks. i've heard things about your 'group' in chem, and i'm not trying to get on professor kim's watch list, sorry." you realise jake just slandered you for leaving early, yet he's in front of you right now. "plus, you literally left early too? what?"

jake blinks once, before looking at you like you killed his pet dog. "that's different," he says quickly, "i had reasons."

"okay, and your reasons were..?" you trail off, crossing your arms now.

jake opens his mouth, closing it. he seems hesitant. then, a little less confidently than before, he speaks again. "i wanted to talk to you."

your eyes widen, you cough awkwardly, immediately turning your face slightly away like that helps hide your reaction. "oh," you say, voice a bit too fast. "right. yeah. you could’ve just said that."

jake scratches the back of his neck, "how am i meant to do that?"

"i don't know.. by texting me or something?" you suggest awkwardly, wanting to leave this mess more than anything.

"i don't have your number, [name]." jake says, your name rolling off his tongue smoothly. that alone is enough to make your brain stutter for half a beat. obviously you didn't have feelings for jake anymore, or so you thought, but the way he says your name sounds nice.

no, shut up - you like heeseung, idiot. you do not like jake.

"…oh," you say again, too quickly. "right." you fumble slightly with your phone in your hand, suddenly aware of how many times it’s buzzed. messages from your group chat flood the inbox.

"so, can i get your number?" jake asks, catching your attention once again, making you pull your gaze away from your phone and now to him.

"um," you hesitate. your thumb hovers over your phone. this felt wrong, but you didn't know how to say no here. maybe jake was just being friendly and you were overthinking it?

"…yeah," you say finally, a little unsure. "sure." you unlock your phone slowly, "i don't remember it, so you can just look."

you hold out your phone as jake gets his own phone out, unlocking it with a quick flash of his face.

"alright," he says, stepping a little closer so he can type it properly.

you tilt your screen toward him, and he looks at your screen, before replicating your number into his own phone. when he finishes, he pauses for a second before hitting save. "…done," he says simply, holding his phone loosely in his hand.

you breathe a sigh of relief, stepping back. jake glances down at your phone screen as he pockets his own.

"by the way, you have like, a lot of messages," he says, looking up at you again. "you ignoring people or something?"

your eyebrows furrow as you glance at your phone, "oh, it's just sunoo and giselle." your eyes widen in remembrance that you were meant to meet up with the two of them. you offer jake another smile, "it was nice talking to you, but i have to go. i'll see you."

you turn around, walking down the hallway as you unlock your phone to message giselle and sunoo. you miss the "wait," coming from behind you.

jake catches up when you're already pushing open the exit doors, you're halfway out when footsteps hurry up behind you. "[name,]" jake stops just beside you, a little breathless. not in an unfit way, just in the way that he ran a long distance in a short amount of time.

you're about to turn your head, but jake wraps his fingers around your wrist, pulling you back.

"what?" you ask, furrowing your eyebrows. what could he want now?

he seems nervous, "uh," jake pauses, "do you wanna study together sometime soon?"

you blink. that's random, especially after everything that just happened. your grip on your phone loosens slightly as you process it. "study?" you repeat slowly.

jake nods quickly, maybe a little too quickly.

you give a small, distracted nod.

"..maybe," you say, tone entirely non-committal. jake smiles, and you smile back - awkwardly to say the least. "i'll see you later." you're about to turn to leave again.

"where are you headed?" jake asks again, distracting you.

"..the back building? i told you." you scold him lightly, trying to play it off. god, you weren't trying to be mean and you three months ago would've loved this attention from jake, but he was being extremely annoying as of right now.

you turn your head properly this time, and in the distance, near the walkway near the fountain, you see heeseung.

with sieun?

okay whatever, heeseung was allowed to talk to whoever. not like you guys were even official, or labelled. but you blink when you notice her wrap her arms around him, pulling him in for a hug.

and he doesn't push her away. ouch. your brain goes a little quiet in the worst way.

jake lets out a soft sigh when he realises you've noticed. he scratches the back of his neck, "i-i'll see you later, [name]." jake hesitates for a second, but pats your shoulder gently. "don't overthink it."

he turns away after that, jogging back to class. your eyes drift back to the fountain again, and they're standing away from each other.

if she's still a friend, it's whatever. but honestly, you didn't have the energy to deal with a crazy ex-girlfriend right now. with a soft sigh and a heavy heart, you turn 90 degrees, walking down the left hallway instead.

you'd just take the back exit. you open your phone, messaging your friends that you got caught up and were on the way now.

guys do u think its time for a miscommunication arc after all the comments gassing up the communication 😏 teehee

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"we kinda already met," sieun says before you can respond, making you knit your brows. you didn't realise she wanted that to be public information.

heeseung’s brows furrow immediately. "you did?"

jake looks between all of you with growing interest, clearly sensing drama where there probably shouldn’t be any.

you clear your throat lightly. “at the soccer game.” you drop heeseung's hand, feeling a little insecure.

"oh," heeseung says slowly, his expression shifting.

not dramatically, but enough for you to notice he’s remembering the conversation from earlier now. he also noticed you weren't holding his anymore.

his eyes flick briefly toward sieun before returning to you. "..right," he says carefully.

there's a weird silence after that.

"well," jake says suddenly, clearly deciding not to poke at whatever tension he just accidentally walked into, "i think we’re gonna go line up now. have fun, you two."

before anyone can respond, he casually wraps an arm around sieun’s shoulder, already steering her away with him - almost similar to dragging.

sieun opens her mouth like she’s about to say something, but jake keeps walking, effectively dragging the moment along with him.

sunghoon glances between you and heeseung one last time, then he gives a small nod. “see you guys later.”

and just like that, the three of them disappear back into the crowd and noise of the amusement park.

silence settles again.

heeseung turns to you, a small smile on his face. "that isn't ye-jin."

you softly exhale, releasing all the tension in your body. “ye-jin’s irrelevant,” you say. “i just caught her name wrong.”

you poke your tongue against the inside of your cheek before looking back at heeseung.

“…that girl was the one asking me all the weird stuff.”

“sieun?” heeseung’s brows pull together immediately. he instinctively glances back toward the crowd like he might still be able to spot them.

“yeah.” you nod, pressing your lips into a thin line. “so, you do know her?”

heeseung looks back at you. “yes, i do, unfortunately.”

the way he says unfortunately makes your eyebrows lift slightly. he stuffs one hand into his pocket, gaze drifting briefly toward the crowd before returning to you.

“..she’s my ex-girlfriend,” he admits. “but i haven’t spoken to her in-”

he pauses, thinking. “months, probably.”

oh. that explains… a lot, actually. the weird comments. the way she looked at you. the “you’re not what i expected” line. suddenly, the entire interaction clicks together in your head all at once.

heeseung watches your expression carefully, like he’s trying to figure out what exactly you’re thinking now.

“..i genuinely didn’t know she was talking to you,” he says after a second. “if i did, i would’ve said something earlier.”

you nod slowly, still processing it. “that makes way more sense now,” you mumble mostly to yourself. "i don't wanna pry, but why is jake still in contact with her, then? i feel like it's kinda weird to stay friends with your best friend's ex..?"

your eyes widen when you realise what words just left your mouth, “wait, sorry-” you say quickly. “that sounded lowkey nosy of me.”

heeseung blinks once, then shakes his head lightly. “no, it’s fine,” he says immediately.

he doesn’t seem offended by the question at all—if anything, he looks more caught off guard by the fact you apologised for asking it. heeseung scratches lightly at the back of his neck before answering.

"jake knew her before i dated her," he explains. "they’re not like, best friends or anything, but they stayed cool after everything."

"i didn’t really care enough to make it a huge issue."

there’s no bitterness in his voice when he talks about it. mostly just mild exhaustion, like it’s old history he stopped emotionally investing in a while ago.

then his gaze flicks back toward you again, more careful this time. "..you’re not weirded out, are you?" he asks quietly. "about the ex thing, i mean."

you pause, thinking about his question properly. i mean, it was obvious a guy as attractive as heeseung would definitely at least have had one ex-partner. you had exes as well, it shouldn't have been an issue.

but sieun made it an issue. your eyebrows furrow in annoyance. she had no business giving you attitude just because you were simply talking to heeseung. except you weren't really just talking, but she didn't know the extent of the relationship.

that thought somehow irritated you even more.

"no, it's not weird." you shake your head, forcing the words out of your lips. you continue before he can respond. "don't worry about it."

heeseung exhales through his nose, visibly annoyed now that the situation actually has context.

"she shouldn’t have approached you like that," he says, a frown washing over his face.

you glance up at him. "it wasn’t that serious."

"still." his answer comes instantly.

then he looks at you properly again, expression softening slightly from irritation into something quieter. "..did it bother you a lot?"

"no," you shake your head immediately, "it's fine. i guess she just still likes you, or something.." oh my god, shut up [name].

the second you say it, regret floods your body.

what if he still liked her? what if you just accidentally handed him the perfect excuse to start thinking about her again?

your brain spirals for exactly half a second before heeseung’s expression answers for you.

his face sort of crumples in slight disgust.

it wasn't not dramatic, or mean. just genuine 'absolutely not' energy. "..no," he says instantly.

the response comes so fast it almost overlaps your sentence.

you blink at him.

heeseung shakes his head once, brows furrowing like the idea itself bothers him.

"i don’t think that’s it," he mutters. "and even if it was… i don’t really care."

okay, that was reassuring. there was a firmness to his tone that catches you slightly off guard.

heeseung glances down briefly, then back at you again. "..we broke up for a reason," he says more quietly. "a good one."

the conversation settles for a second after that. heeseung's eyes glaze over yours once more, "well, do you wanna check out the other things?"

the sudden shift in topics feels intentional, like he doesn't want your mind to linger about that kind of thing anymore. it feels gentle.

you nod your head, "yeah, sure." using your arm to point ahead, you spot a much friendlier-looking ride in the distance, something slower, filled with lights instead of near-death experiences.

“over there?”

heeseung follows your gaze before nodding once. "yeah, let’s go."

when your hand falls back to your side, heeseung instinctively catches it, firmly, but gently intertwining your fingers.

you can't deny the way your heart beats. there’s no hesitation in it this time either, it just feels natural.

heeseung notices your silence after a few steps and glances sideways at you.

"..what?" he asks lightly.

you shake your head too quickly. "nothing."

heeseung hums like he knows you’re lying, but he doesn’t call you out on it.

instead, his thumb brushes once against your hand as the two of you disappear further into the lights and noise of the park together.

"it's getting kind of late." heeseung says, slipping his phone back into his pocket. it was, and it was pretty cold too. the tips of your nose and the apple of your cheeks both turned a slight pink due to the weather.

"you wanna head back?" you ask him, "we can go back now. i don't think it'll be too busy on the train."

"i don't mind staying for longer, but you look like you're about to freeze to death." he teases, making you internally curl up in embarrassment. heeseung even gave you his jacket, yet you were still shivering.

you instinctively pull the sleeves down further over your hands. "i’m not freezing to death."

heeseung raises an eyebrow immediately, right on cue, another shiver betrays you. his mouth twitches, "are you trying to convince me or yourself?"

you glare at him weakly, "..let's just go."

"c'mere," he says after a beat of silence. before you can even ask what he means, he steps closer.

his hand brushes against yours first, then settles around them both, rubbing warmth back into your fingers instinctively. "..your hands are freezing." he mutters, brows furrowing slightly.

you look down at the way his larger hands completely cover yours for a second before glancing back up at him.

"you're so warm. how are you not freezing..?" the wind blows between you again, colder this time. you instinctively lean a little closer into his warmth without really thinking about it.

the corners of his ears turn pink, "i just handle the cold better." he insists, squeezing your hands a little tighter. "let's go."' he says, gently directing you toward the exit of the theme park.

there aren't many people around, considering it was around ten p.m now.

the train station isn’t far. it was just a short walk past the main gates, a familiar pathway where people cluster in small groups waiting for rides home.

and that’s when you see him.

jake.

he’s standing just outside the station entrance, one hand in his pocket, the other holding his phone as he scrolls through. though, the second he spots you two, his expression changes instantly. a familiar smile takes over.

jake's eyes immediately drop, straight to your joined hands.

"you guys are still here? damn." he calls out, loud enough to cut through the night air.

"we're leaving now, catching the train. what about you?" heeseung responds to him, grip on your hand turning firmer.

"i'm waiting for the train, yeah. it's way too cold in the station though. the trains coming constantly make it so windy." jake complains, slipping his phone into his pocket as he gives you two his full attention.

"you guys look like you went through war," he adds, nodding at you specifically. "especially you."

you perk up slightly, "i did go through war. i think i nearly died today."

jake grins at you, "on which ride?"

"all of them." you deadpan, making him laugh.

"i haven't seen you since sunoo's." jake adds, leaning back onto the wall slightly. "are you still down to study together?"

heeseung exhales quietly through his nose, clearly already tired of the direction this is going.

oh shit, right. technically, you never actually gave him an answer on his offer. but now you definitely know jake wasn't actually trying to rizz you up, because he was still asking despite seeing you with his best friend.

you feel heeseung's gaze burning into your side profile, but you can't bring yourself to look up at him.

"uh," you start, trying to think of an excuse. "sunoo said you weren't good to study with, haha."

there’s a pause, jake blinks. his face slowly shifts into pure offence. "sunoo said what?"

you laugh nervously, apologising to sunoo in your head for throwing him. "he said you were way too distracting, and you don't actually study."

jake points between the two of you. "okay wait, I need context for that accusation because I’ve never even studied with sunoo in my life."

heeseung, beside you, goes very still.

you choke, did sunoo lie to you? you swore that's what you were told. "hey," you raise the hand that isn't intertwined with heeseung's in surrender, "don't come for me, i'm just the messenger."

jake stares at you, then slowly turns his head toward heeseung.

heeseung, who is now pinching the bridge of his nose like he’s trying to physically erase this conversation from existence.

"it's sunoo, he's an instigator." heeseung says flatly, like he’s already accepting that this is somehow going to be his problem too. or maybe that was just the surface of his attitude.

jake leans in slightly. "why is sunoo lying about my academic habits? actually, why is sunoo even talking about me?"

oh shit. the context for that conversation from your memory was sunoo convincing you to stop liking jake, and that he was an idiot who wouldn't help you study and would help you flunk instead.

"um," you stammer, immediately regretting having a mouth.

you chew lightly on your lip, trying to assemble something that won’t make this worse.

heeseung glances at you from the side, not interrupting.

jake, unfortunately, is still waiting, very patiently.

"sunoo was just-" you start, then stop again. "he was being dramatic."

jake narrows his eyes. "about me?"

"not about you," you rush, "about… studying. in general. he was just using you as a bad example."

heeseung lets out a quiet sound that suspiciously resembles a laugh but gets covered up as a cough.

jake slowly turns his head toward him. "why are you reacting like that?"

heeseung immediately goes neutral. "i'm not."

"you just laughed."

"no i didn't." heeseung defends himself flatly, looking at his watch. "it's getting late. i think we're gonna go catch the train." heeseung finally exhales and gently tugs your hand once.

jake raises an eyebrow, "are you guys forgetting we all live on campus?"

you whip your head around to jake, "how do you know where i live?"

"i don't, i just guessed," jake shrugs, following the two of you. "i just thought you'd stay the night at heeseung's."

your brain stutters for a second. stay the night? you hadn’t actually discussed that. not properly. you'd just assumed you’d go back to your own dorm after all of this.

you glance sideways at heeseung, suddenly hyper-aware of the hand still firmly holding yours.

he doesn’t look at jake when he answers. "she is staying the night at mine."

it comes out calm, simple. like he already decided that without your input - which he sort of did..?

your head snaps toward him. "huh?"

heeseung finally looks at you now, expression completely steady like he didn’t just casually rearrange your entire evening plan in front of an audience.

"..it’s late," heeseung adds, like that explains everything. "last train back's annoying. plus, all your stuff is at my place anyway."

you blink, then you give a small, distracted nod like it’s the most normal suggestion in the world.

"oh, yeah," you say quickly, almost like you just remembered something important you forgot to mention. "i forgot, sorry."

"well, heeseung and i live in the same building, so i guess we're all going home together." jake winks at you, but it doesn't have the same effect as you knew it would just weeks ago.

days ago, even.

you barely react, eyes already drifting past him to the train pulling fully into the station.

"okay, holy airball.." jake mumbles under his breath.

the carriage rolls in with a long, steady grind, brakes hissing as it lines up perfectly along the platform.

the doors open, and nobody's exiting the train onto this specific platform, so the three of you just enter with ease.

heeseung stays close beside you the entire time, still holding your hand. thank god for the cold weather, other wise you would've had the sweatiest palms known to man.

partly due to the weather, and the other part being that it was heeseung holding your hand.

you step fully inside, and the doors slide shut behind you with a final, sealing click. the train gives a slight jolt, before taking off a few seconds after.

the three of you find a set of seats, you sitting at the window with heeseung next to you, and jake sitting before you.

heeseung isn't holding your hand anymore, but he's still close enough that your arms are just barely brushing

jake drops into the seat opposite, leaning back immediately like he’s already mentally checked out of any sort of responsibility for the rest of the night.

he pulls out his phone almost on instinct, thumbs moving as the glow lights up his face.

heeseung and you sit in comfortable silence, well it's comfortable between the two of you. you doubt that it would still be silence if it weren't for jake sitting across you right now.

a few seconds pass, jake glances up briefly, then back to his phone, but there’s a faint grin at his mouth.

you rest your head against the window, yawning softly. you shift slightly in your seat, the exhaustion from the day finally catching up all at once.

you close your eyes, drifting off to sleep.

you wake up to heeseung gently nudging you awake, "[name], we're here. his voice is quiet enough to wake you up without startling you.

your eyes flutter open slowly, the overhead lights of the train too bright for a second as you adjust. the carriage is quieter now, passengers thinning out.

jake is already halfway standing outside on the platform, stretching like he’s been awake the whole time. "finally," he says under his breath. "i was about to leave you two on the train."

the two of you step off the platform, walking in the direction of the subway's exit.

"you could've just walked home," heeseung mumbles, voice flat.

"no way," jake immediately shoots back. "it’s way too dark out."

there’s something so effortlessly dramatic about the way he says it that it pulls a small smile out of you before you can stop it. jake notices, of course.

"see?" jake points at you like he’s just proved his case. "she agrees with me."

heeseung exhales through his nose, already tired of him.

you shake your head slightly, still half smiling. "don't drag me into this," you scoff.

heeseung finally glances up at jake, deadpanning. "you’re delusional."

jake points at him now instead. "you’re just jealous I’m funnier."

"i’m not jealous," heeseung says flatly.

"so you admit you think i'm funnier?" jake grins at heeseung.

"no." heeseung shuts it down immediately.

you let out a small laugh under your breath as you tap your card at the exit, walking out with the two of them. the air outside is cooler again, way colder than inside the train, and it hits your face the moment you pass through. you wince.

the night outside the station feels quieter than before, the noise of the train fading behind you as the three of you step into the open air, heading back toward home.

it's silent between the three of you. jake walks ahead of you two slightly.

the familiar cluster of dorm buildings starts to come into view ahead, taller, darker shapes against the night sky. you spot heeseung's dorm easily. it was close to basically everything on campus.

"alright," he says, stretching his arms above his head. "this is me." he gestures toward his building first, then nods vaguely at heeseung.

"i'll see you later, bro." he daps him up, before glancing toward you. "see you, [name]."

you wave, offering a small smile. "goodnight."

"goodnight," jake repeats, backing toward his building with one last lingering look at you.

only once jake disappears through the entrance does the space around you shift again. heeseung stuffs his hands in his pockets, walking slightly ahead of you.

you catch up, walking alongside him.

heeseung walks with his shoulders a bit more set than before, gaze forward, jaw relaxed but not quite soft.

after a few steps, he exhales through his nose.

"..you two talk a lot," he says, like it’s just an observation. flat. casual.

but there’s a slight edge under it. you glance at him. "me and jake?"

"yeah," he replies, still looking ahead.

"..he's just talkative." you explain, shrugging slightly.

heeseung finally looks at you properly now, but he doesn't look angry. just a little annoyed in a way he’s clearly trying not to show too much.

"you don't think i still like him, right?" you ask, eyebrows furrowing.

the entrance to his dorm is ahead now, doors sliding open as heeseung presses his ID card against the scanner.

your words lands differently, enough for heeseung to stop walking for half a beat.

then he lets out a quiet breath through his nose, like the idea itself is more confusing than upsetting.

"…no," he says immediately. "of course, i don't." his jaw relaxes slightly, but his expression is still restrained.

"..i don’t think that," he adds, quieter, still annoyed. "i just.." he stops himself mid-sentence, glancing away for a second like he doesn’t like how honest that was about to get.

you look at him, trying to let him get to his point. heeseung didn't seem like he had meant any insult with that, and honestly you understood where he was coming from. after all, he knew all about your embarrassingly fat crush on jake earlier.

heeseung calls for the elevator, and at this point you're doubting if you should even go up with him. obviously you trusted him not to hurt you but what if the conversation went wack and it got awkward?

"um," you start to speak, softer this time. "i promise you i don't feel anything for jake anymore."

"..yeah," he says, a bit dryly. "i figured."

his jaw shifts slightly as he looks away for half a second, like he’s annoyed at himself for even needing to hear that. "you don’t have to explain that to me," he adds, quieter, but it comes out harsher than he intended.

the elevator doors open.

he keeps his hand on the door frame so it doesn’t close, but he’s not as relaxed as before. his shoulders are a little more set now, his voice not as soft.

"..i’m not worried about you," he says, but it doesn’t fully match how he’s standing there. "i'm worried about jake. i think he's interested in you."

the two of you walk into the elevator, slightly apart. "i don't think so. he's your friend - and...we're clearly something, right?" you hesitate, staring down at your hands as you play with your sleeves.

heeseung's eyes change.

they light up. it isn't noticeable, but whatever frustration or jealousy that was sitting underneath his features definitely eases up. there’s a small pause before he looks away for half a second, the corner of his mouth twitching like he’s trying not to react too openly.

"..yeah?" he responds, quietly.

now his hesitance is making you unsure. heeseung notices that, eyes widening immediately.

"…we are?" he asks, softer this time, not pushing. his expression is warmer.

"i mean, i think it might be a bit too early to put a label on us." you say gently, hoping he'll take it the right way. you just meant that because you didn't know him as well as you wanted to, but you definitely wanted to get to know him more.

"i just don’t really know you well enough yet," you add quickly, voicing your thoughts. "but… i do want to."

the elevator doors finally open, and heeseung and you both walk out.

"yeah, i get that." he keeps walking, but his pace slows just enough so you’re side by side again.

the two of you reach his door pretty quickly, considering there are no obstacles to dodge this time.

for a second, he doesn’t look at you, focused on unlocking his door. "..that's actually better," he admits, glancing at you. he pushes his door open.

he grabs your wrist before you can step inside.

"i prefer you being honest with me instead of just saying something just because it sounds right." heeseung lowers his voice to a whisper, leaning into your ear. probably because you guys were still technically in the hallway, and he had a roommate inside as well.

the sudden shift in distance makes your breath catch a little, cheeks heating up. thank fuck for the lights being off. your words get caught in your throat, unable to think of a response.

"..okay?" he adds softly, like he’s checking in on you, not correcting you. he straightens up, holding the door open for you.

"..yeah, of course." you blink, nodding your head a little too fast. "i want you to be honest with me as well."

heeseung looks at you. his gaze drops briefly, to your mouth, then back to your eyes. he's so subtle with it.

the hand that heeseung has on the door drops, replaced with his foot as he cups your face, angling it so he can gently press his lips against your temple.

your face heats up, and he lets go, straightening back up. there’s a slight pause where neither of you move right away.

it’s brief. soft enough that it feels like it lingers after it’s already over, but intimate enough to get the meaning across. "your face is still so cold," he mumbles, voice still low.

"go in."

you walk through the door.

heeseung follows right after you, the door clicking shut behind him with a soft, final sound that cuts off the quiet of the hallway. the warmth inside his dorm wraps around you immediately.

there was so much you needed to ask sunoo.

because the way heeseung acted around you was as if he was holding back all night. like he was watching you when you weren’t looking, or maybe it was that he was closing distance without even realising it. as if being near you was the most natural thing in the world but he was actively trying not to make it obvious.

you hadn't felt a connection like this before, it was a little overwhelming.

"i have to use the bathroom," you stammer, your voice coming out a little shaky. not in fear, you were just flustered.

"oh, yeah," he says, blinking once like he’s snapping himself out of whatever he was thinking. his tone softens again straight away. "it’s down the hall."

you nod, mumbling a small thanks before walking toward the door. you shut it as fast as you open it, shutting the toilet seat as you take a seat on top of it.

you exhale, leaning back for a second before sitting down on the closed toilet seat, elbows resting on your knees.

you needed some time to think about this.

casual dominance heeseung lowkey making me feel things fr 🤤🤤 he's salty as fuck today tho omg

this was a little filler sorry but the next one will be longer 😭 im trying to pace out the series of events better so i already drafted what's gonna happen next chapter 👍👍

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the stadium pulsed with noise.

lights flashed across thousands of raised phones, white and silver beams sweeping over the crowd like waves. somewhere to your right, a girl was crying so hard she could barely scream his name out anymore.

but that was understandable, in your eyes at least.

it was lee heeseung, after all.

on the massive screen above the stage, his face appeared again alongside his members, sweat-damp hair falling into dark eyes, breath uneven from dancing all night.

you were so close to the stage, standing in the pit. your throat burned from screaming too, though your voice had long disappeared many songs ago.

heeseung drew you in so much, but it almost didn't feel voluntary. not in the way that you were being forced to like him, but in the way that you felt as if you were bound to love him. your chest ached so violently watching him smile that you had to press a hand against it.

heeseung steps forward, microphone lifted effortlessly as the opening notes of the final chorus rang through the stadium. the cameras follow him with ease. for a moment, he tilts his head slightly, eyes skimming over the crowd out of habit.

that's when his eyes land on you.

you think it's just a lucky glance, him simply sparing his gaze across the sea of people like usual. he never pulls away.

for a second, his expression falters, and that's when you can confirm that his eyes are on you. it's subtle enough for nobody else to notice, as he pulls away shortly after.

your breath catches in your throat from the way he looked at you like he knew you somehow, which would be impossible. maybe you reminded him of somebody?

heeseung avoids your side of the stage for a remainder of the night, only returning toward the end. every time he drifts near that side again, his gaze stays deliberately elsewhere, toward the upper sections, the cameras, his members, anywhere but you.

idols are trained to look everywhere. to make every fan feel seen, but he avoids your eyes so carefully it almost feels intentional.

by the final song, you’ve nearly convinced yourself you imagined the entire thing. maybe he wasn't looking at you at all.

confetti spills from the ceiling in silver streams, disappearing beneath flashing lights and deafening screams. the members bow beside him, smiling breathlessly as they thank the crowd.

after he bows too, he looks up, straight at you.

you blink, your heart pounding extra hard. this time, the hurt in his expression is unmistakeable. he looks like he's in some sort of pain.

the concert is basically over after that, and enhypen say good bye to all of their fans. you go home, tired after the commute home. you can't stop thinking of the way heeseung looked at you tonight, even if it was just you being delusional.

you don't fall asleep like you usually do. at first, you lie on your back staring at the ceiling, phone face-down beside you, unable to get anywhere after shutting your eyes.

every time you try to think about something else, your mind slips back to him, despite being exhausted. you turn onto your side, pulling the blanket up even though you’re not even cold. the concert noise fades in your memory.

your thoughts slow down, one by one, finally. the room around you gets softer at the edges. eventually, your grip on the blanket loosens without you noticing.

right before you fully drift off, there’s one last strange, quiet image that slips through your mind.

it's similar to falling snow behind your eyes.

snow falls quietly onto dark stone next to you.

"is it really that time of the year already, joo-mi?" you ask, reaching your hand out to let more snow fall onto the palm of your hand.

your servant, joo-mi, stands next to you, nodding her head. "i believe so, my lady."

"it's colder than i remember. compared to last year, at least." you mumble, watching how the flakes of snow dissolve on your skin.

you curl your fingers slightly, as if you might be able to hold onto the winter itself. the courtyard is empty at this late hour apart from you and joo-mi. oh, and the singular guard standing at the entrance.

shifting beside you, joo-mi lowers her gaze respectfully. "winter has arrived earlier, my lady. the elders mentioned that it would be a long one."

you hum softly in response, though your attention is already elsewhere. the mountains beyond the perimeters of the estate.

you stare at them for a moment longer than you mean to.

there is something about them tonight. something that draws you in. anywhere away from this place would do you justice, honestly. you were extremely bored.

and unfortunately expected to be wed to a noble boy by the end of this year. gross.

a gust of wind moves through the courtyard, brushing cold against your cheeks.

joo-mi shifts closer instinctively. “my lady, shall we return inside? the wind is growing harsher. i don't want you to grow ill."

you don’t answer her question, gaze drifting across the courtyard. specifically, back to the guard at the front gate, half-shadowed beneath the light.

"joo-mi, why is there only one tonight?" you look up at her, eyebrows furrowed in curiosity. the guard doesn't look familiar anyway. he was young, you could tell by his stature. it wasn't the usual older guard that took the night shift, and there was meant to be two.

joo-mi follows your gaze again, hesitating for only a moment before answering. “i believe one of the guards fell ill earlier today, my lady. the replacement was assigned on short notice.”

you turn your head back, uncaring. "i want to go back inside now."

joo-mi bows her head immediately. “of course, my lady.”

she steps forward at once, adjusting her pace to yours as you begin to turn away from the courtyard.

the cold bites at your skin for one last moment before the warmth of the estate corridors begins to surround you instead. joo-mi follows behind closely, blowing out the candle she was previously using when the two of you were outside.

joo-mi escorts you to your room, opening the door for you. you thank her.

"my lady, you have a long day tomorrow. you should rest well tonight."

you step into your room, the door sliding shut behind you with a soft thud that echoes through the hallways. the warmth inside your room is immediate.

“of course,” you reply quietly, voice muffled. you walk in further, slipping out of your outer layer. "you should rest as well, joo-mi."

"yes, my lady. good night." her footsteps slowly retreat down the slim hallway, footsteps pattering against the wood.

you sit at the edge of your bed for a moment, hands resting loosely in your lap. you weren't tired at all, unfortunately. but, you required an escort everywhere in this estate - per your father's requests.

you had no choice but to fall asleep. there was nothing else to do, after all. every single novel sitting on the shelf beside you had been read, along with every puzzle. you truly were bored.

eventually, you lie back, pulling the blanket over you. the fabric is warm, making you feel sleepier.

the lantern light from earlier has long since dimmed, leaving the room in a soft, peaceful ambience. apart from the sound of the harsh wind from outside.

your breathing slows without you noticing.

your eyes drift toward the ceiling, before shutting on reflex and falling asleep.

the next morning you awake to soft knocks on your door, tapping once.

then again, a little more carefully. “my lady?” joo-mi’s voice filters through the wood, familiar and steady.

light spills faintly through the edges of your curtains, revealing the morning sun before you can even open your eyes properly.

"you can come in," you say, mid yawn, stretching your arms up into the air.

there's a brief pause before your door slides open, but when it does, joo-mi is on the other side. joo-mi steps in quietly, already composed, her hands folded in front of her as she keeps her gaze respectfully lowered.

"did you sleep well, my lady?" she smiles softly at you, which reminds you of her age. she was only a few years your senior.

you’re still half-lost in sleep as you sit up, hair slightly disheveled, blinking at the brightness leaking through the curtains. you cling to the warmth of the blankets.

"i think so." you mumble, stretching your arms again before letting them drop lazily into your lap.

joo-mi moves further into the room, already beginning her routine without needing instruction, picking up your garments from yesterday and folding them. she folds out each crease with care, before replacing those garments with new ones for you today.

"are you excited for today, my lady?" joo-mi asks from behind you, tone cheerful. "you'll be going out town."

you were excited at first when you heard the news, but when you found out your father was practically sending an entire army to supervise you, your feelings on it dulled.

but now, the word feels slightly dull on your tongue as you speak them. "sure."

joo-mi continues folding your garments with calm efficiency, laying out today’s clothing with care before turning back toward you.

“you seemed pleased when you were told,” she adds, glancing at you over her shoulder. “it is the market district, is it not? there will be many new sights.”

market district? there wasn't much you were interested in, to be honest. you weren't the most outgoing.

"yes.." you say slowly, coming out quieter than initially intended. your fingers tug slightly at the edge of the blanket, resisting the urge to pull them back over yourself.

it should be exciting.

it is exciting.

but you can barely bring yourself to care. you look at joo-mi, "do you think father would let me skip this today?"

joo-mi looks at you, not expecting the question as her hands pausing mid-fold.

“my lady…” she begins carefully, as if choosing each word to avoid sounding like a reprimand. “your father has been preparing for this trip for some time. i don't think he would be happy...if it were to be postponed.

but you already knew that.

joo-mi he sets your garments down neatly before stepping closer, her tone softening again. “is something troubling you this morning?”

the question lingers in the air.

you open your mouth to answer, but nothing comes out immediately. because there isn’t a clear reason, nothing you can point to and name properly.

"no, there isn't, joo-mi." you reassure, "i'll go. can i change now?" you ask her, standing up, shuffling the bedsheets off your lower half.

joo-mi relaxes slightly at your response, the tension in her expression smoothing back into its usual calm composure. “of course, my lady,” she says gently. “i'll start preparing your bath."

she bows her head and steps toward the door, pausing only long enough to glance back once more, before slipping out and closing it softly behind her.

you stand, stretching once more as the last remnants of sleep finally leave your body. the bed creaks softly as you move away from it, the warmth of the blankets already fading behind you.

then there’s a soft knock.

“come in,” you say.

the door slides open, and joo-mi appears once more, her hands neatly folded in front of her.

“my lady,” she says gently, “your bath is ready for you.” you nod once at her words, still lost in the lingering haze of sleep.

you follow her down the cold hallway, a familiar path to your private bathroom. joo-mi opens the door for you, revealing a steaming hot bath. the warmth spills out into the hallway the moment the door opens, contrasting the air behind you.

steam curls lazily into the corridor. the bath inside has been prepared as you like it.

joo-mi steps aside respectfully, keeping her gaze lowered. “my lady, I will be just outside if you need anything.” she bows, before stepping out of the room and leaving.

the sound of the latch clicks softly, and you are alone. you move closer to the bath slowly.

you take off your garments, before taking a step into the water, sinking your entire body in shortly after. the warm water ripples around you, surrounding your entire body - practically easing your muscles after only a minute of being submerged.

you sink in a little deeper as the steam around you rises, relaxing your body without your permission. you stay in that bath for around twenty minutes, simply basking in the warm water.

stepping out, you wrap a towel around yourself, calling for joo-mi. "joo-mi, can i have my clothes?"

she pushes the door to the side gently, draping you in something that resembles an overcoat, temporarily shielding you from the cold. nobody was allowed to enter your chambers anyway, so she escorts you back to your room.

upon entering, she reaches for your clothing that she had previously laid out, before coming behind you and helping you change into them.

joo-mi moves behind you with quiet efficiency, her hands careful as she helps you out of the bath wrap and into the layers she had prepared earlier.

you stand still, letting her work.

it's a smooth and easy process, as always. both you and joo-mi had gotten used to this already, it was a daily routine after all.

she takes a step back after she finishes, admiring you and her work. all your sleeves were aligned properly, as well as your folds being smoothed down. "my lady," she gasps quietly, "you look so beautiful, especially today."

her words bring a small smile to your lips, "thank you, joo-mi. you're the reason for that."

a light pink dusts her cheeks, "thank you, my lady - but i only played a small role. i only ensure what is already there is brought out properly,” she adds more softly, smoothing the front of her sleeves out of habit. “you have always been beautiful, my lady.”

joo-mi steps back slightly, then reaches for the last piece of your outer layer, holding it up for you to slip into. you do exactly that, and she smooths out the final layer.

joo-mi gently tugs at the fabric, ensuring that it's fitted perfectly as you outstretch your arms. "i'm done, my lady. are you ready to step out? the carriage should be ready for us."

you let your arms fall back to your sides, nodding as you slip your shoes on. "if i must. let's go."

joo-mi opens the door for you, sliding it once again. the rhythm of your footsteps blends softly with Joo-mi’s as you move through the corridor.

joo-mi walks just half a step behind you, as always, careful not to overtake or fall too far back.

“the carriage is waiting at the front gate,” she says gently. “your father has already left instructions for your escort.”

you hum faintly in response, gaze forward, "you are coming with me today, right?" you ask her, double checking.

"yes, my lady. i should be accompanying you today. i wasn't made aware of any change of plans." joo-mi says, walking down onto the footpath with you.

servants pass in the opposite direction occasionally, bowing quickly as you go by.

as you near the entrance hall, you slow slightly without meaning to, you can see the carriage from here now.

joo-mi notices immediately. “my lady?”

you blink once, then continue walking. “It’s nothing.” but the hesitance in your step tells her everything. your eyes linger ahead for just a moment longer than necessary, you see a lot of people you don't know surrounding the gate.

behind you, joo-mi’s steps remain steady, but her voice softens slightly when she speaks again.

“it will be a busy day,” she says. “but I will be with you.” she reassures. you continue walking forwards, catching the attention of the servants preparing the carriage.

there’s a brief shift in movement as they straighten, bowing as you approach.

the air outside brushes against your skin, a servant lowers his head. “my lady.” you acknowledge it lightly.

one of them quickly moves to open the carriage door properly, while another steps aside to clear your path. you thank him quietly, taking the hand he offered to you to step into the carriage.

you don't recognise any of the guards accompanying you today, unfortunately. joo-mi steps in afterwards, sitting across from you.

outside, the courtyard continues with it's movement, guards taking their positions, as well as double checking the horses.

a few minutes pass, and you finally feel the carriage moving. you peer slightly outside, seeing the front gates to the estate opening.

as the carriage begins to move, joo-mi continues speaking, pointing out small things about your journey, like the scenery. you nod, engaging in conversation with her.

the market should be around an hours drive on a carriage, so around ten minutes you decide to just take a small nap. you were pretty tired anyway, despite only having woken up a short while ago.'

after it feels like you've only shut your eyes for five minutes when joo-mi calls out for you. "my lady?" she asks softly, "we're nearly there."

you wink an eye open, sitting up as you smooth yourself over. "thank you," you mumble, covering your mouth with your palm as you yawn.

you sit in silence, your arm sitting atop your stomach as you lean into the chair behind you. pushing the curtain back with your other hand, you look around, seeing the bustling markets.

the sound hits you first, plenty of voice overlapping, as well as vendors calling out to customers. an uncomfortable feeling sits at the bottom of your topic.

your chest tightens faintly, though you don’t understand why. the carriage rolls forward again before the thought can settle properly.

you swallow once more, as your gaze tracks across it all without really landing anywhere for too long. too many faces, too many directions, too many things happening at once to properly follow.

you feel very aware of your body all of the sudden. joo-mi speaks softly across from you, but you only catch part of it, she's saying something about the market being way busier than expected.

you sit back slightly, letting the curtain fall a little more into place as you nod, like you're on auto-pilot. the carriage comes to a stop, and around thirty seconds after the door opens.

your fingernails dig into your palms unknowingly, making you bleed. joo-mi looks at you, not noticing the injury but just the tense expression on your face. "are you alright, my lady?"

snapping your head back to her, "i'm fine, yes. you can go out first." joo-mi looks at you like you're insane. you were a higher status, that meant you were meant to exit the carriage first.

"are you sure, my lady? it's against the rules-" joo-mi asks, unsure. you cut her off, "i insist."

joo-mi hesitates for only a second longer, then bows her head and steps down carefully from the carriage.

you take a deep breath. you remain seated for a moment longer, your hand is still curled tightly in your lap, though you don’t register the sting properly until the air shifts again.

a shadow falls near the carriage step. it isn't large enough to beg for attention, but it defiinitely catches yours.

a guard stands there. he's young and composed.

his uniform is simple, outer guard markings visible but unadorned. he doesn’t speak at first.

he’s looking at you, offering a small smile as he bows in your direction. he extends a hand, “allow me, my lady,” he says.

you stare at his hand, which stays steady, palm open, waiting without pressure. you stand up after contemplating for a few seconds, placing your hand in his.

his grip is careful, firm enough to support you, light enough not to feel so restrictive. he helps you step down from the carriage.

when your feet meet the ground, he releases you immediately, stepping back into proper distance as if nothing more than protocol has occurred. “thank you, my lady,” he says, lowering his gaze respectfully.

he bows again, making you nod in acknowledgement. "..thank you." you speak quietly, walking over to joo-mi.

you can feel eyes on you from everywhere. it wasn't everyday that a member of a noble family attended a marketplace. you felt bashful under all their gazes.

people glance as you pass, some quick, some lingering just a little too long before they remember themselves and look away. it makes your shoulders tighten without permission, your posture subtly shifting as you try to make yourself feel smaller.

joo-mi notices, stepping half a pace closer so she can speak without anyone else hearing.

“this way, my lady,” she guides gently. “the main stalls are just ahead. It will be less crowded there

joo-mi offers you a smile, you return it partially. "what was that guard's name?" you ask, referring to the one that had helped you down from the carriage.

joo-mi blinks slightly at the question, as if she hadn’t expected your attention to linger there. “the guard?” she repeats softly, glancing over her shoulder in the direction you came from.

the young man is already stepping back into position near the carriage. you turn your head, and he's already looking - flashing you a smile. you turn back.

“i believe he is one of the newer outer guards assigned to the rotation,” she says thoughtfully. “he was brought in recently, so i haven't heard his name often. but," she trails off, "i think his name is lee heeseung."

you nod in acknowledgement, before walking off in the direction of a stall you deem as interesting enough.

the stall is crowded with fabric and jewellery, you think some of it looks pretty. joo-mi follows close behind as you stop in front of it, the merchant immediately straightening up at the sight of your clothing.

"my lady," he greets, bowing in front of you. "please, take your time looking."

you nod politely, already shifting your gaze down toward the display in front of you. there are strings of beads, along with other accessories such as embroidered scarves and such.

joo-mi points to one of the scarves of your favourite colour, “my lady, this would look beautiful on you.” she reaches over, lifting a ribbon between her fingers.

glancing at the ribbon briefly, you hum in agreement. "do you think i should take it?"

joo-mi nods, looking down in respect. "if you wish to, my lady."

you wave your hand, turning back to the merchant. "i would like one of these." you gesture to the ribbon in joo-mi's hands, and he nods immediately.

the merchant bows quickly, almost relieved at your decision. “of course, my lady. i will wrap it immediately.”

he reaches under the counter, retrieving another ribbon of the same colour. he lays it neatly on a small cloth before beginning to fold it with practiced precision.

you turn your head away, disinterested in the process. unfortunately for you, your father had asked you to stay out the whole day - besides nightfall, of course.

joo-mi pays for the ribbon using the money pouch given to her by your father. "my lady, would you like me to have these added to your belongings in the carriage?"

you look at her, nodding. "yes."

the merchant ties the ribbon carefully, placing it into a small paper wrapping before sliding it forward. “thank you for your purchase, my lady.”

joo-mi takes it first, holding it securely before turning back to you. she steps closer to you, "we should continue, my lady. the market will only start to get busier."

with a defeated sigh, you nod. "if we must. when will we be able to go back?" you ask her, glancing back at the carriage.

"i'm sure we can leave when you would like, my lady." joo-mi responds softly.

you glance back toward the carriage again. it sits a little further down the street now, partially visible between moving bodies and stalls. the guards remain stationed around.

the idea of already returning feels like a waste.

you begin walking, joo-mi trails after you. she notices your hesitation without commenting on it. instead, she adjusts her pace to match yours as you start walking again.

“we do not need to stay long,” she adds softly. “just enough for you to see what you wish. your father only asked that you are properly escorted and return before evening."

you nod, humming.

"joo-mi, do you want anything from these stalls?" you ask, turning to her. the question catches her off guard.

she blinks once, clearly not expecting the question at all.

for a moment, she actually hesitates, before quickly lowering her gaze.

“my lady…i am not here to purchase anything,” she says gently, as if reminding both you and herself of her position.

you keep walking, watching her for a reaction.

joo-mi adjusts her sleeves slightly, composing herself again. “if you are asking out of kindness, then i am grateful."

she pauses again, "but i do not need anything."

eyes forward, you hum. "that isn't what i asked, joo-mi.

“my lady,” she says carefully, “your visit is for you. It is not necessary for me to-"

the look that you give her makes her pause, cheeks heating up. "i suppose i could look around, if you truly wish that."

you nod, "please do. none of this interests me, and i would rather rest at the carriage."

joo-mi nods, "i understand. i'll escort you back, my lady." she guides you through the crowd, subtly choosing paths where you'll avoid the densest parts of the market.

soon, the carriage comes back into view, waiting exactly where you left it. the guards are still stationed in their positions.

"thank you." you look at her once you're standing next to the carriage. she hesitates for a brief moment, as if still unsure whether she’s truly allowed to separate from you in a place like this.

“if you are certain,” she adds softly, “i will not be long.”

one of the guards bows to you, opening the door and allowing you entry to the carriage. "welcome back, my lady."

looking back at joo-mi, you give a small, dismissive wave of your hand. “go.”

that seems to reassure her.

joo-mi straightens, composing herself again into her usual calm composure. “i will remain within sight. if you need anything, call for me immediately.”

you nod once in response. she bows, then steps away into the market.

the guard shuts the door, and you sit in there peacefully. the outside noise dulls immediately, and you sigh in relief.

there's a knock on the door, soft. as if whoever is outside is waiting for permission rather than demanding attention.

a masculine voice follows, lowered slightly just loud enough for you to hear. “my lady.”

you don't recognise it immediately, but you sit up.

"you can open the door." a few seconds after, the door is slid open softly.

you blink when you realise it's the same guard from before, lee heeseung.

you take in his face properly this time. his face is gentle in structure, and you would consider him to be handsome. he seems to be somewhere around your age too.

when he speaks again, his voice is steady, but softer than you expect. “my lady,” he says, carefully. “i apologise if i disturbed you. i only wished to ensure you were well.”

you look at him, tilting your head in confusion slightly at his concern, "no, you didn't disturb me."

you pause in thought. joo-mi was going to be a while at the market's, right? you use your chin, gesturing to the seat before you. "come in. i'm bored."

there’s a brief pause outside the carriage. his face contorts into one of confusion, as if he’s double checking whether or not he heard you correctly.

"my lady?" his voice rings again, making you glance back at him. "inside the...carriage?"

"yes," you say simply. "unless that’s a problem."

"no, of course not, my lady." he steps onto the upper platform. once inside, he lowers himself into the space opposite you.

for a moment, neither of you speak.

"close the door, please." you ask softly, leaning back into your seat. he reaches over, shutting the door. the carriage feels smaller with him inside, but not uncomfortable.

he glances briefly toward you, then quickly lowers his gaze again, as if remembering himself.

"i apologise if this is improper," he says quietly. "i'm still on duty."

you look at him, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. "i am the one that asked you to come inside, no?"

a faint pause, "yes, my lady."

that makes you exhale, almost amused.

"then talk to me." you say. "joo-mi’s not here, and i’m not doing anything."

he blinks once at that, before locking eyes with you. it's like he's locked your gaze onto his own, because you're unable to pull away.

heat crawls slowly through your body, it starts low in your chest, feeling strange. you sit up, re-adjusting your body.

"talk?" he repeats, like he’s making sure he understood the request correctly.

"yes," you confirm. "anything. i don’t care."

he shifts in his seat, thinking. "most of my days are unevenful, my lady. i'm not sure what you'd like to hear."

you tilt your head. "then tell me uneventful things."

when he doesn't respond, flustered, you scoff. you lean forward, pointing to his hand - where there is clear injury. it looks like the palm of his hand was sliced open by something.

"tell me what happened to your hand. i want to know." his attention drops instantly to where you’re pointing. then he reacts subtly, almost too late. he curls his fingers slightly as if to hide it, but stopping before he fully closes his hand. the injury is still visible. a clean, uneven cut across his palm, recently dressed but already faintly stained through the edge of the wrapping.

"it's nothing serious, my lady." he starts, voice careful and even. "just apart of my duties."

"what part of your duties requires you to have bleeding hands?" you look at him, raising an eyebrow.

"my duties involve assisting wherever needed," he says after a moment, voice steady. “not all tasks will be predictable. the crate was heavier than expected. i misjudged it when securing the corner."

"you mean to tell me that a crate cut you open like a fish?" you blink, seeing through his lie.

you hold out your hand, "give me your hand." he hesitates for only a fraction of a second, just enough to register that you’re actually serious, before carefully shifting his injured hand forward.

he places it in your open palm.

up close, the cut is clearer. not deep enough to be life-threatening, but enough to sting sharply. the dressing around it is already slightly worn at the edges, clearly not tended to properly.

"this was clearly done by a knife." you look at him, running a finger gently over the wound. he flinches, and you notice.

you press down harder, and a small whimper leaves his lips. his shoulders stiffen, his jaw clenches tightly.

"my lady," he says quietly, "it hurts when you do that.."

you hum, smoothing your finger up and down the bandage. "but," you look up at him, "you like that, don't you?"

he doesn’t pull away, but his fingers tense in your hold, like he’s forcing himself not to react more.

"i asked you a question." you say, catching his attention once again.

he looks up at you, and that same fire burns through your lower abdomen now. "i am not sure how to respond to that, my lady." he admits bashfully.

"with honesty," you say, dropping his hand from your grasp.

"then yes. it felt nice, coming from you my lady." there’s no playfulness in his tone.

you blink in surprise that he was actually honest. you hum softly, leaning back in your seat.

the heat in your body is bothering you now. it's too strong to ignore, like someone struck a match beneath your ribs and let the flame burn.

"..are you permanently assigned to me?" you ask, turning back to him.

the question seems to catch him slightly off guard. he straightens a little, as if adjusting back into duty.

“i am assigned to the outer escort rotation for your household,” he answers carefully. “so, not permanently, my lady. i rotate between posts. but while you are outside the estate, i am your escort."

"who gave you those orders?" you ask him, a small pout forming on your face.

his gaze flickers up for a moment. “…is there a concern, my lady?”

"answer my question first." you nudge his calf with your foot gently.

"…the head of the estate guard rotation," he replies carefully. "the order came through your household steward, under your father’s direction."

"ignore them." you wave your hand dismissively. "i want you on my rotation. you are staying with me."

it looks like he genuinely doesn’t process the words properly.

he nearly chokes, "pardon me, my lady?" he doesn't believe he heard you correctly.

his gaze flickers up briefly, then away again. "do you mean… during today’s escort duty?"

"i want you to escort me everywhere, anytime i want." you speak softly, resting your chin on your hand. “not random guards i don’t know.”

"…that is not a simple request," he says carefully. his posture straightens slightly.

"escort assignments are rotated to prevent overexposure and maintain security protocol."

you barely process his words, "i don't care. you're on my team from now on."

"..my lady," he says carefully, "that is not something I can decide." for a second, he looks genuinely uncertain how to respond without overstepping or possibly offending you.

glancing back at him, you notice the fear on his face. "oh, relax. if it makes you feel any better, i'll ask my father about it."

"…if your father approves a reassignment," he says slowly, "then I will follow the order given."

his eyes lift briefly to yours. "however, escort rotations are handled for security reasons. consistency with a single guard is not usually recommended."

he hesitates, before speaking softly again, "that said… I will not refuse a direct instruction if it is officially issued."

"it's officially issued by me that you are with me from now on." you reply quickly, sitting up.

"may I ask what makes you certain about this decision, my lady?" he asks.

"you entertain me." you admit honestly. "what's your name?" you weren't one hundred percent sure if joo-mi even had the correct name.

"lee heeseung, my lady." he bows his head in respect.

your gaze drifts back to his face again, and reluctantly, you have to admit it probably influenced your decision a little too.

because unfortunately for you, heeseung is extremely attractive.

but for some reason, you can't stop this insatiable feeling that you got when you first looked heeseung in the eyes. and no, it wasn't just because of his pretty face.

you sigh softly, and heeseung notices the agitation.

"my lady, are you feeling alright?" he asks softly, leaning closer.

you shake your head, "it feels so hot in here," you say, leaning back. you start to fan yourself, "..i feel so hot."

"would you like me to call somebody, my lady?" he asks softly, leaning a bit closer. as soon as he does that, you feel your lower region ache.

"..no." you sit-up, shaking your head. would it be shameful of you to ask a guard to relieve you? it’s definitely a breach of contract somehow, but that was for your father to worry about, not you.

"..come here." you ultimately decide, making space for him next to you.

heeseung obliges, blinking innocently. you almost feel bad for taking advantage of your position.

your cheeks heat up, and they’re about to burn brighter at the request you’re about to make. lowering your voice to a whisper, you speak. "..i want you to touch me."

heeseung’s eyes widen. "did i hear you correctly, my lady? you want me to touch-"

you cut him off immediately, clamping a hand over his big mouth. when you trust him to be silent again, you remove your hand.

"keep it down, will you?" you hiss, sighing. "..you know what, never mind."

you begin to fan yourself again, ignoring him out of embarrassment. after a few seconds, heeseung speaks up again.

"my lady," he starts, but you don’t turn toward him. heeseung calls out for you again, which finally makes you turn your head.

"what?" you glare at him, a soft frown on your lips.

"if you were asking me to relieve you,” he whispers this time, leaning closer. “i’d be willing to oblige you.”

you stare at him for a second, trying not to shy away from his gaze. taking a deep breath, you nod. “..please.”

“do i have permission to touch you, my lady?” you nod instantly, feeling the ache between your legs grow even more.

heeseung’s hands are immediately on yours. one hand slides under your robes to your front, spreading your thighs apart. he cups your pussy possessively.

his fingers are gentle at first, pushing your underwear to the side as he rubs at your folds with feather-light touches. he teases your entrance, circling but not penetrating.

you groan in annoyance at this, making him apologise swiftly, “sorry, my lady.” an apology leaves his lips, yes, but you don't miss the stupid grin on his face as he says it.

your wetness coats his fingers as he continues exploring your folds. “you’re so wet already,” he whispers softly, almost in admiration. it’s embarrassing - the way he's just gawking at the slick connecting his fingers to your cunt.

“can you keep it down?” you whisper back, turning your head away shyly.

“of course, my lady.” he agrees, shuffling closer to you. he lifts your thigh, granting him easier access to your slit. heeseung slip a single finger into you, letting out a quiet groan at the tightness wrapped around his finger.

you bring your hand to your own mouth to conceal your noises. heeseung pumps his finger slowly, revelling in your soft gasps and whimpers despite you attempting to muffle the noises.

a second finger joins the first, stretching you deliciously as he curls them just right - hitting that spongy spot. your toes curl, a louder whimper slipping from your lips.

when his thumb finds your clit, rubbing firm circles, your hand grips onto his wrist, nails digging into his skin.

that doesn’t stop his ministrations, though. heeseung continues to pump his fingers in and out of your sopping heat steadily.

“w-wait,” you whimper out, making him glance up at you. you use your hand to tug at his uniform, pressing your lips against his.

heeseung kisses you back hungrily, tongue delving into your mouth to taste you. he continues to move his fingers in you, redoubling his efforts even.

his thumb flicks over your clit rapidly, making you squeeze your thighs around his wrist. he can’t really move his fingers in and out if you do that, so he opts to curl his fingers inside you, finding that special spot that makes your toes curl.

he swallows a loud moan that definitely would’ve left your lips. when he finally pulls back, you’re both panting hard.

“my lady,” heeseung breathes out, “i can’t pleasure you if you keep shutting me out like this.” he breathes out, referring to the leg lock you currently have his wrist in.

you apologise softly, “i-i’m sorry,” you sputter, “it was just..a lot.” a smirk appears on heeseung’s lips at your words.

“my lady,” he speaks, and you look at him. “may i be granted permission to make you feel as good as you possibly can?”

you stare at him, confused at first. “you want permission to do anything?” heeseung nods at your words.

you’re hesitant, but he seems to know what he’s been doing this whole time. “..fine - i grant you permission."

he withdraws his fingers. heeseung grabs both of your wrists with one hand, holding them against your chest. he backs you further up into the seat, spreading your thighs with his knee.

now that you’re spread out for him, he plunges his fingers back in - making you gasp.

his pace is brutal now, practically fingerblasting you. the way his fingers piston in and out of your dripping pussy create obscene squelches that fill the usual silence of the carriage.

you squirm, thighs shaking the slighest. as a result of trying to silence yourself, you bite your lip so hard it actually starts bleeding. heeseung’s eyes lighten up at that.

heeseung leans in, “keep it down, my lady. otherwise the both of us will get into trouble.” he whispers, lips grazing the side of your ear.

you nod, whimpering softly. “i-i’m, ah- sorry.”

his thumb makes it’s way back to your clit, rubbing harder and firmer circles now. you can’t hold it back, your pussy fluttering around his digits. your stomach tightens, and after a few seconds - the coil releases, and you gush all over his fingers.

heeseung slowly pulls his fingers out as you pant softly, he also releases your wrists.

“did that satisfy you, my lady?” heeseung asks, and you can’t help but notice the cocky tone in his voice. you're still catching your breath though, so you don't care to humble him.

you hum softly, nodding in agreement. “..satisfied? yes, very.”

heeseung pats your robes back down, fixing your clothing for you. you also comb your fingers through your hair, trying to make it look like it did previously.

the atmosphere definitely probably smells like sex, it’s a confined space after all. you sit back, trying to catch your breath.

a knock breaks the moment. the both of you pause.

heeseung straightens immediately, posture resetting into something more formal.

"yes?" you ask softly, a little worried whoever it was at the door could tell what just went down.

"my lady, may i come in?" it was joo-mi.

"you may." you respond sitting back properly.

the latch clicks, and the door opens just enough for her to step inside. she pauses for half a second when she notices heeseung already seated opposite you, then quickly smooths her expression back into composure.

whatever thought flickers across her face is gone almost immediately, replaced with her usual expression.

“my lady,” she greets, bowing her head slightly.

"did you find what you were looking for, joo-mi?"

“yes, my lady,” she answers softly, a smile creeping up onto her face. “the stalls were as expected. i did not require much time. thank you for letting me do that." she bows her head again in appreciation.

her eyes flick briefly toward the space opposite you, just for a moment, not lingering.

“i also ensured your purchase was added safely to the carriage,” she adds, referring to the ribbon.

heeseung begins to move as if to stand, but joo-mi lightly raises a hand.

“stay seated,” she says politely, not unkindly. “there is no need to adjust for me."

"no, joo-mi, you can have your seat back." you correct. you look at heeseung, "you may leave. thank you for your time."

“understood, my lady,” he says at once. he stands, bowing his head. careful not to bump anything in the confined space of the carriage, his posture resets as he steps out of the carriage.

joo-mi glances toward you, a small teasing smirk on her face. it’s very subtle.

you notice it though. “what?” you ask immediately, eyes narrowing slightly.

“nothing, my lady.” she replies quickly, patting down the fabric of her sleeves in an attempt to smooth it out.

you stare at her, meanwhile she avoids your gaze. that lasts for around two seconds before she eventually loses composure, and ultimately makes eye contact with you.

“you seemed rather interested in that guard.” she says lightly.

you blink once. “i was just speaking with him.”

“yes,” joo-mi agrees, nodding her head. “for some amount of time.”

“there was nothing else for me to do while waiting.”

she hums, straightening her lips. the sound itself is enough to make your expression flatten.

joo-mi lowers her gaze politely again, though her small grin never disappears.

“he is very handsome,” she adds after a moment.

you immediately look away toward the carriage curtains, out the window. “that had nothing to do with it.”

“..of course, my lady.” joo-mi agrees out of respect, despite seeing through your lie.

outside, the faint sound of guards shifting into position can be heard.

“we will be departing shortly, my lady,” she says gently, and you nod.

“are we going back to the estate?” you ask, unsure of what you’re even doing next.

“we can go wherever you’d like, my lady.” joo-mi says, reaching for the handle of the door. “would you like me to ask the guards to take us elsewhere?”

"no." you shake your head, "i want to go back home, please."

joo-mi pauses for a split second, but nods anyway. "of course, my lady." there’s no disappointment in her voice or an attempt to persuade you otherwise.

she slides the carriage door open slightly and relays the instruction to the guards outside.

“we will return to the estate.” voices from outside respond to her in acknowledgment.

movement outside the carriage begins. through the small opening of the carriage window, you briefly catch sight of heeseung again near the escort line. snow catches faintly in his dark hair before melting almost immediately.

joo-mi reaches for the carriage door, closing it once more. inside, warmth settles around you again, quieter now than before.

joo-mi sits across from you, studying your expression carefully before speaking.

“was the market too much today?” she asks gently.

you stare at your hands for a second before answering. "a little, yes."

she nods like she already knew. “then going home is the right choice.”

outside, the carriage finally begins moving again. you sit back in your chair, shutting your eyes. your breathing gradually slows with the movement of the carriage.

the next moment, or it feels as though, you awaken. joo-mi is calling out for you, “my lady,” joo-mi says gently. “we’re back.”

your eyes open slowly. for a second, everything feels blurred together, but you blink, once, twice - and it's clearer.

you straighten slightly in your seat, rubbing at one eye tiredly.

“…already?” your voice comes out softer than intended, still heavy with sleep.

“you slept through most of the journey home, my lady.”

you glance briefly toward the curtained window beside you. it’s darker outside now than before, evening fully settled over the estate grounds.

"how is it already evening? we left early morning, no?" for some reason, your chest feels oddly light. you take another look, genuinely perplexed.

joo-mi pauses at that. “…we did.”

you pull the curtain aside slightly, staring out at the estate grounds again. lanterns have already been lit along the pathways, their warm glow reflects against the snow.

your confusion deepens. the market trip hadn’t felt long enough for this and neither had the ride home. you glance back toward joo-mi. “how long was i asleep?”

she blinks, then slowly looks toward the carriage window herself, as though only now properly registering the darkness outside. “…i’m not certain,” she admits quietly.

you kind of just stare at her, before letting your shoulders loosen in carelessness. whatever.

the thing is, joo-mi is always certain. always aware of time, schedules, routes. but now even she looks unsettled, gaze lingering toward the evening sky outside the carriage. “it should not be this late,” she says after a moment, mumbling to herself more than to you.

the carriage door opens, a different guard stands outside this time, one you vaguely recognize from the estate grounds but not by name. "my lady," he says respectfully, extending a hand out to you. "we have arrived back at the estate."

you take his hand, stepping down from the platform. "tell me, how is it night already?" you ask the guard, making him furrow his eyebrows in confusion.

"you have been out of the estate the whole day, my lady." he responds casually. that makes you pause mid-step, your grip loosens slightly as you look up at him, perplexed.

you glance around once instinctively, everything feels strangely quiet. all of the guards that had originally come with you were surrounding the carriage, preparing for it to be put away, but heeseung was nowhere to be seen.

"hm." you hum, letting go of the guard's hand. "thank you."

“of course, my lady,” he replies, dipping his head in acknowledgement.

but your memory doesn’t feel like a full day, it feels put together, like it was fake or something, maybe.

joo-mi steps closer behind you, noticing your expression immediately. “my lady?” she asks softly. “are you feeling unwell again?”

the guard shifts his stance slightly, attentive now but not alarmed.

you blink once, then slowly shake your head. "no,” you say, though it comes out uncertain even to your own ears. "i'm fine. i would like to return to my quarters, please."

this was strange. there was no way it would've cost you the entire day to ride to the market, spend some time there, and return. you should've had the entire afternoon and more left, so why was nobody questioning it?

behind you, joo-mi steps closer, falling naturally into pace as you begin walking toward the estate doors.

“shall I prepare warm water for you again?” she asks gently, as if nothing about the day was unusual at all.

as the doors of the estate open ahead of you, you shake your head. "yes, please."

joo-mi nods her head in acknowledgment, walking down the empty hallway with you. she escorts you to your room, she pauses, bowing her head slightly. “i will return shortly with your bath,” she says.

you nod, already half distracted, fingers intertwining with each other as if to calm yourself. “thank you.”

joo-mi walks off, and you take a seat on one of the chairs near the window, letting your hands rest in your lap.

you sort of daze off until she comes back.

being a noblewoman was boring in a way that never really changed. always waiting, always being prepared for something that never quite felt like it belonged to you.

there was nothing for you to do except sit, behave, and eventually be married off into another household that would decide your next set of rules for you. there was nothing you were allowed to do alone, either.

your father had noticed. he tried to entertain you in your own way, but you assumed it was hard considering there was nobody around your age within the estate aside from joo-mi. your father wouldn't allow for it. it was a surprise that he was agreeing to marry you off this year, but he probably deemed you as old enough.

she was kind and familiar, but still part of the structure of your life, not outside it. there wasn’t really anyone who felt like they existed in your world without purpose or permission. joo-mi wasn't there because she enjoyed your company, she was there because she had to be.

you barely saw your father either, and your mother was dead. it didn't hurt much to think about now, it was many years ago.

your father never moved on, though. he never really let you drift too far from his grasp. after the death of your mother, something in him must have tightened

you let out a small breath, leaning back slightly in your chair. boring wasn’t even the right word anymore. it honestly felt like you were already dead, but unluckily in hell. your punishment was eternal boredom.

a soft knock catches your attention, and you turn toward the door.

"my lady?" joo-mi calls quietly, "your bath is ready. may i come in?"

you blink once, "come in."

the door opens almost immediately.

joo-mi steps inside, “i’ve prepared it at the temperature you prefer,” she says gently.

you nod, standing up from where you're sat.

joo-mi hesitates for just a moment before speaking again, her voice softer now. "you seem tired, my lady. would you like me to stay nearby you while you bathe?"

"no, thank you, joo-mi." you politely decline as she closes the door to your room behind you. "i'd prefer if i was alone."

joo-mi nods, escorting you to the bathroom, she opens the door for you. "It's ready for you, my lady."

joo-mi remains behind you, hands folded. “i will be just outside if you need anything,” she adds softly.

you nod at her words, before walking in and shutting the door behind you.

you exhale slowly, slipping off the outer material of your gown. you're about to take off the next layer of clothing as well, but you pause.

your mind backtracks to what you thought about earlier, and you didn't want to marry some random man.

your left foot touches the water, then your right follows, sinking in slowly until you’re ankle deep in the bath.

the idea of marriage lingers again at the back of your mind. it's not like getting married would make you any happier. if anything, it would make you feel worse. it makes your gut feel weird. like the concept of a life like that belongs to another version of you that isn’t standing here right now.

the water rises as you lower yourself into the bath, still fully clothed. the fabric clings to your skin as it absorbs the hot water. you settle in until you’re fully seated.

if you disappeared, then you wouldn't be obligated to do anything your father asked you of.

plus, it's not like he'd even notice if his daughter was gone or not. despite living within the same estate, massive or not, you only saw him once a few months.

and even then, the conversations between the two of you are brief, structured, and formal. like a meeting arranged between obligations rather than a father and daughter talking.

you sink further in, water up to your collarbones now.

you thought of joo-mi. maybe she would be sad if you were to leave her, but she would get over it ultimately. the two of you weren't friends, she was an employee to your father.

the bath remains still around you, only small ripples forming when you shift slightly. your thoughts don’t feel loud anymore.

they feel… flat.

there's no substance behind them, they don't feel real. you don't even notice yourself sinking further into the water, the hot steam coming from it applying warm pressure onto your face.

it reaches your jaw, then your lips, which you clamp shut. then your nose, and you stop inhaling.

you shut your eyes too when the water comes up high enough. before you know it, you're fully submerged in it, drowning peacefully.

you think it's peaceful at least, till it's not.

your lungs start to burn, hurting your insides like an uncontrolled fire. on instinct, you straighten quickly, pulling yourself more upright in the bath and lifting your face fully above the water, coughing and sputtering.

your hands press lightly against the edge of the tub for stability.

joo-mi's voice rings from outside, alarmed. "my lady, are you alright in there?"

you don't look up, eyes forward on the water before you. tears start to leak from those same eyes. "..i'm fine, thank you." your voice comes out steadier than you thought it would, to be honest.

on the other side of the door, you hear her shift closer. “are you sure?” she asks again, more carefully this time. she isn't pressuring you into answering, but she doesn't sound convinced.

"yes, i'm fine." you feel more tears streaming down your cheeks. "please leave. i want to be completely alone."

joo-mi speaks again, quieter than before. “..as you wish, my lady.” you hear her foot steps retreating down the hallway, echoing.

your eyes sting before you even fully register it, and it isn't because of the bath water entering them. you shut your eyes, trying to force it away. you stay still, hands remaining braced against the bath’s edge until your breathing begins to settle again, hiccuping softly.

there's footsteps approaching, but you don't register it, even though it sounds like they're already in the same room as you.

then, a light brush of fingers moving the hair stuck to your face. that makes you blink wide open, meeting familiar eyes.

it's heeseung, the guard from earlier, crouching before you. he wasn't supposed to or allowed to be here. you flinch back instinctively.

he pulls his fingers back too, his expression blank. but he doesn't look the same, something about his face is off.

"why are you crying, pretty girl?" he speaks, tone way more mature than when you had previously spoken to him. your throat tightens before you can answer.

heeseung tilts his head slightly, studying you when you don't answer. "is it your father again?" he reaches forward again, hand cupping the side of your face, thumb stroking your cheekbones gently.

"what..? what are you talking about?" you don't bother moving back this time, simply letting him touch you. you didn't care enough at this point. it all felt like a dream, anyway.

"you know what i'm talking about." he says your name after, whispering it softly. he drops his hand from your face. his hand lowers to his side, fingers flexing once like he’s resisting the urge to reach for you again.

"do you want me to kill him?"

the words don’t even settle properly before your face twists in disbelief.

your eyebrows furrow, and you look up at him like he's insane, which he must be for threatening to kill a nobleman.

"have you gone insane?" it comes out sharper than you meant it to, but it fits the way your chest is suddenly tight again. this time not from crying, but from the genuine shock you felt from his words.

heeseung doesn’t react the way you expect. there is no denial, or embarrassment, or any hint of backtracking his words. instead, his gaze is steady on you, face unreadable.

"no. what makes you think that?" his words make you lean back further into the bath away from him. suddenly you regret sending joo-mi off.

heeseung sighs, still crouched before you. "don't look at me like that, god." he clenches his teeth, and that's when you see the sharp fang.

he isn't normal, he isn't a human.

for a second, everything goes too still. even the water feels like it’s stopped moving around you.

heeseung notices immediately. he exhales through his nose, slower this time. his jaw loosens, but the damage is already done

your breath catches so hard it hurts. your eyes widen, and you try pull yourself out of the water. you've barely made it anywhere before your slammed onto the floor chest first with supernatural strength, upper body out of the water but your lower half is not.

a pained whimper leaves your lips, cold tile presses against your cheek, wet hair sticking to your skin. it was painful and overstimulating.

“hey.” his voice is different now, deeper. he sounds annoyed, almost. "stop moving."

you stop, stilling your body. the grip he had on your back relents, and he let's go entirely. "why are you doing this to me?" you mumble out, tired.

in the small amount of time he had you pinned down, it felt like you were about to die, and you already concluded you wouldn't have even minded at this point.

"i'm not doing this to you." his gaze drops to your body, clothes tightly clung to your frame. "you panicked. i just didn't want you to hurt yourself."

you deem it safe enough to turn, sitting up on your rear. "i meant, why are you here, doing this to me?" you use your hands to gesture to everything.

he ignores your question, leaning in again. his fingers touch the damage done to your face from him slamming you down so hard. it was cut slightly, and would definitely bruise.

"don't cry." his thumb wipes at a tear you didn't even know you had. "does it hurt?"

you shake your head, surprising yourself as to why you're so relaxed about this. heeseung shuts his eyes, almost as if he's savouring something.

"i'm sorry, i didn't want to do this so soon." you're about to question him on whatever that means, but he's on you before you can open your mouth.

he leans in, jaw angled to fit your neck. you feel his lips graze, tongue licking a spot on your neck and it tickles. the ticklish feeling is soon over after you feel something sharp sink into your neck, hard and fast.

you nearly scream, but he quickly covers your mouth with the palm of his hand. tears stream down your face from the pain, but he doesn't stop.

he continues sucking, your blood, you presume. the pretty man you wanted as a guard wasn't as innocent as you deemed he was. he was a blood-sucking vampire.

the moment his fangs pierced through your skin, a wave of euphoria is sent right through his body. his throat bobs with each swallow, the sound of him sucking echoing through the quiet room, aside from your pained gasps. the hunger that had been clawing at his insides for centuries started to subside.

heeseung could feel your heartbeat fluttering rapidly. he could hear it too.

your limbs feel weak, especially your hands. they're on his chest and shoulder, trying to push him away but it doesn't work. he grabs one of your wrists, then the other, holding them with his fingers.

your head doesn't feel any better, completely dizzy. you feel as if you're about to pass out, but he pulls away. blood leaks from his perfect lips, he licks at it before it can drip onto the floor. heeseung's hand catches the back of your head before it can fall to the floor.

"you taste so sweet," he reminisces, resisting the urge to go back for seconds. using his hand on the back of your head, he brings you closer to him - licking a stripe up on your open wounds slowly, not letting any go to waste.

"that was payback for earlier in the carriage." you can barely hold eye contact, feeling drained. heeseung notices you about to pass out, but he shakes your head, jolting you back. "no, you can't pass out on me now, baby."

you almost don't catch the pet name, not that you could bring yourself to care anyway. eyes landing on him, they focus.

"who are you..?" you gasp out weakly, slowly regaining your strength.

that small smile appears again, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. if anything, it looks like it hurts him to make it at all.

“hmm,” he exhales softly, almost disappointed, but not in you. more so in the situation.

he looks away for a second, jaw tightening as if he’s frustrated. “it's okay, you’re not supposed to remember everything at once anyway,” he adds, softer. “it doesn’t work like that.”

you have zero clue on what he could be talking about, but before you can even ask him, he sighs again.

his face looks like he's contemplating something, chewing his lip before finally settling. he leans in, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "i'll be back for you, don't worry." the way he says your name feels so intimate in the moment, despite it coming from a random man. or well, you thought he was a random man.

heeseung lowers you onto the cold tiles gently, before purposefully knocking a vase to the floor. it echoes through the bathroom, and it's safe to assume it echoes through the hallway enough to be heard from outside.

panicked footsteps come toward the bathroom, and heeseung winks at you, before disappearing in thin air. you gawk.

what the hell just happened?

you barely have anytime to think before joo-mi's voice comes from the other side of the door. "my lady! are you alright in there?"

you don't reply, hoping she'll get the hint to come in and help you, in which she does. "my apologises, my lady, but i have to prioritises your safety." she pushes open the door.

when she sees you laying on the floor, joo-mi immediately rushes over. "my lady!" her hands hover for half a second, before she carefully touches your shoulder, checking you over with precision.

“are you hurt?” she asks quickly, voice controlled but clearly shaken. “can you breathe properly?” her hands push your hair away, in attempt to keep it neat but then her eyes widen.

she sees the two holes in your neck, bite marks.

"oh my god." her hand freezes mid motion in your hair.

then she pulls back slightly, eyes locking onto your neck properly now. the bite marks are unmistakable. joo-mi's expression shifts fast, shock going to alarmed.

"my lady,” she says quickly, helping you upright gently. "don't move. i'll be back soon. you're safe now." she stands.

the door shuts behind her with a decisive click, leaving the bathroom in silence.

the awful sting and dull ache at your neck, pulsing was a simple reminder that what happened wasn’t a dream or panic or confusion.

it was actually real.

your body feels heavy in a different way now. it wasn't just weakness, but exhaustion catching up all at once. the kind that makes even sitting upright feel like effort.

you wanted to go to sleep.

joo-mi returns quickly with your estate's apothecary, as well as your father's steward.

joo-mi returns first, and behind her is the estate’s apothecary. your father’s steward follows close after, his expression immediately hardening the moment he sees the state of you.

“move aside,” the apothecary says quickly, dropping to his knees beside you without hesitation. he looks at your neck, then your face, then your pulse point.

"what happened here?" the steward asks, to which nobody responds.

“bite marks,” the apothecary says simply, already reaching for bandages and a small vial. “they are recent. not deep enough to be fatal, but she’s lost blood.”

“i found her like this,” she says, voice clearly on edge. “someone was in the room.”

the steward’s expression hardens immediately. “no one enters this wing without being cleared, and the guards would have seen them.

the apothecary gently tilts your chin, taking in the severity of your wounding.

suddenly, you feel a harsh pang on the side of your temples. it's sudden enough that your breath catches slightly before you can stop it. you hear voices around you speaking, and a pair of arms catching you before you fall.

shutting your eyes, you feel everything around you blur.

you wake up in your office cubicle, hair sprawled all over. a thin layer of sweat sticks to your neck and forehead, and when you try to move, your head throbs sharply, a dull, lingering ache right behind your temples.

what a weird dream.

the girl in it seemed so familiar though. like her face and the feeling of her presence felt so real.

and not to mention heeseung being in your dream, as some weird, freaked out vampire.

the dream version of him had felt familiar though. familiar in a way that got under your skin. even thinking of him in that concept made your chest tighten.

had you gotten way too deep into the enhypen loophole? should you go get some therapy..? maybe this was the aftermath of going to a concert, or something.

you stare at the black screen of your computer a while longer, trying to recount everything that happened.

“…what the hell,” you mutter under your breath.

it felt so real.

you exhale through your nose, letting it go as you always do when a dream doesn’t make sense to you.

your hand reaches for your neck, where the bite happened. you aren't expecting much, just skin. maybe some sweat from sleeping awkwardly at your desk.

but the moment your fingertips press beneath your jaw, pain flares sharply. you blink, sitting up properly. pulling out your phone, you open up the front camera, angling it toward your neck.

there's nothing. no bite marks, or bruising. it's just your skin.

a breath leaves your lungs shakily, somewhere between relief and embarrassment. “right,” you mutter quietly to yourself. “obviously.”

shrugging it off, you pat your hair down. you stand, stretching your arms. the weirdest part of all of this was that the headache you just had is practically gone. as if it were never there in the first place.

another thing you noticed was that it wasn't typical of you to have dreams midday. it was typically only when you were sleeping through the night.

it was pretty late at night now, and nobody else was at the office aside from a few of your co-workers. the building felt different at this hour.

picking up your items and putting them into your bag, sliding notebooks and loose items into your bag one by one. your mind keeps circling back to the dream.

a voice calling you “my lady." you pause briefly, then zip your bag shut.

no point overthinking it. you stand, shoulders rolling back as you sling the bag over one arm and glance around the office one last time.

you start walking toward the exit, your footsteps echo softly down the corridor, footsteps echoing in the near empty building.

and for a brief second, just as you pass the glass reflection of the hallway windows, it almost feels like you’re not entirely alone like you assumed.

but when you turn your head, there’s nothing there, just your reflection. was your mind playing tricks on you?

okay, you felt weird now. that weird headache was back too, but it was way worse this time.

a sharp pulse comes from behind your temples so suddenly that your vision blurs for a second. you stop walking immediately, one hand catching the edge of the hallway wall before your knees can fully give out beneath you.

that doesn't really help though, because they do give out and the next thing you know, you hit the floor once again. your knees hit first, then your shoulder catches awkwardly against the carpeted floor of the corridor hard enough to force the air from your lungs.

the pain sparks throughout your body, but it’s overtaken immediately by the pounding in your head. what was happening? this was honestly starting to annoy you, all the constant deliriousness and sudden passing out.

another pulse of pain blooms behind your eyes. the tension eases from your body, and your eyes slip shut. the last thing you register before consciousness leaves you entirely is the feeling of someone kneeling beside you.

when you wake up, you're in the infirmary. the first thing you take in is the smell. herbs. the scent is strong enough to sting your nose slightly.

you open your eyes, vision immediately being filled with the sight of a wooden ceiling. your gaze travels downwards, and you notice the heavy blankets laid out on top of you.

you push yourself up too quickly and instantly regret it when dizziness washes through your body. a hand reaches out, steadying you.

“my lady.” it's joo-mi. relief floods her face so fast. "you’re awake,” she breathes out.

she’s kneeling beside the bedding laid out in the infirmary room, hair slightly disheveled, which gives you the impression that she hasn't rested since you passed out. there are dark circles beneath her eyes now you don’t remember being there before.

joo-mi's here but even your own father isn't. typical.

"joo-mi," you sit up, slower this time. "what happened..?" your throat feels dry when you speak. "how long have i been out for?"

“you've been out for three days after you collapsed,” she says gently. “the apothecary said the blood loss and shock caused you to pass out."

your fingers reach up, ghosting over where the bite would've been. this time, your fingers come in contact with bandages, making you wince.

joo-mi notices immediately. “my lady,” she says softly, leaning closer. “be careful. the apothecary said not to touch the dressing.”

your hand instinctively flies down, "my apologies."

giving you a reassuring look, joo-mi shakes your head. "it's alright, my lady." she leans down, sitting back down on her knees. "the estate has been secured, so don't worry about anything."

"thank you, joo-mi." you say, genuinely grateful for her concern."

joo-mi’s expression softens immediately at your thanks. “it is my duty to care for you, my lady,” she says quietly. "though, if it is alright with you, may i ask what happened? do you remember your attacker, my lady?"

your eyes snap back to her, "my attacker..?" memories flash back. yeah, you were attacked by a vampire, and he put you into danger but your curiosity took over.

"that wasn’t enough to bring your memory back?"

yes, he hurt you. the bandages around your neck were proof of that.

why had he spoken to you like he already knew you? why did he sound disappointed instead of surprised when you didn’t remember him?

and the worst of all, why did part of you feel like you should?

joo-mi notices your distant expression immediately. “my lady?” she asks softly, concern creeping back into her voice.

you blink, "i don't remember." you admit, looking down at your lap. "how am

her expression softens as she watches you lower your gaze to your lap, "that's alright my lady. are you feeling hungry? your food is ready, i just have to go and get it."

when she mentions it, there is a faint emptiness in your stomach. you nod, "a little."

joo-mi rises from her knees, patting her skirt down, her expression filled with relief. "that's good. the apothecary said you should eat as soon as possible."

then she slides the door open quietly and disappears into the corridor. "i'll be back soon, my lady."

the infirmary falls silent again.

you're sat in bed, staring at the wall in front of you. your body still feels heavy from exhaustion, so you finally exhale and lean back slightly against the bedding. then the candle beside the far wall flickers, and the temperature in the room drops.

a quiet voice breaks the silence from somewhere behind you. "why didn't you tell her the truth?"

your pulse jumps instantly.

when you turn your head, heeseung's standing in the darkened corner as if he's been standing there since forever. his expression is calm as he steps closer toward you.

“how did you—”

“you think the guards can stop me?" heeseung says quietly, his gaze drifts briefly toward the bandages around your neck.

your lips form a small pout, annoyed at heeseung's ego. "fine. why are you here?"

"i wanted to see you." his honesty confuses you. had he not tried to kill you just a few days ago?

it's almost like he read your thoughts. "i know how that sounds," he says quietly, looking back at your neck. "but if I intended to kill you, you wouldn’t be alive right now."

instead, your curiosity returns. “why did you bite me?” you ask, voice flat out of annoyance. heeseung's been avoiding telling you the truth this whole time, and it's irritating.

"i thought that it would help you remember me. it did last time."

your brows knit together immediately, "last time?" you repeat, sharper now. heeseung's expression shifts, hurt washes over his features.

"..you’re not supposed to be remembering it in pieces," he says quietly. "it’s supposed to come back all at once."

he exhales softly, before speaking again.

"and I was trying to make sure you didn’t forget me again." heeseung comes closer to you, but you don't flinch away this time. you believed him when he said he would've killed you if he actually wanted to.

the space between you feels different this time, not dangerous or threatening. heeseung reaches out, cupping your cheek. his touch is surprisingly gentle this time.

'please don't snap my neck.'

that's all you're thinking of at this current moment. heeseung's face contorts into something similar of hurt, even though you never said it out loud. it's like he read your mind or something.

you know, he probably can read your mind. he's a vampire, why wouldn't you think of that? that explains it all, to be honest - how he's been able to recognise how you're feeling constantly.

vampires were controversial anyway.

half the court didn’t even believe they existed anymore, despite their being clear evidence of it such as old records sealed away in restricted archives or unexplained deaths. you always believed they were real, anyway.

your father hated them. a vampire is what took your mother away, after all. the details were never fully explained to you, anyway.

so you grew up with the idea already carved into your mind - that they were real, and they were dangerous, and they were the reason something important in your life had already been taken away. in theory, you should hate him and you should be terrified.

you should've been calling for guards the second he appeared inside this room.

your father would be horrified. the mere idea of you willingly sitting this close to a vampire would probably send him into a fit of rage severe enough for the entire estate to hear.

the thought comes bitterly this time.

because where even was he? you nearly died. your focus snaps back to heeseung, and suddenly the closeness feels too noticeable again. he drops his hand from your face, instead, he shifts and sits down beside you on the edge of the bed.

"so, you really don’t remember me." heeseung says quietly.

you frown immediately. “why do you keep saying that? that isn't giving me much insight."

"because it’s true."

your brows knit together. "i told you already, i don’t know what you’re talking about."

his gaze is unreadable for a second, but then he looks back, locking eyes with you. "in your past life,” he says quietly, "you were mine." your eyes widen.

heeseung's words settle in your stomach, it feels weird. "..yours?" you almost didn't believe it. a presumably centuries old vampire was claiming that you were his wife in your past life, how crazy did that sound? you stare at him, blankly. "you don't actually expect me to believe you, right?"

heeseung scoffs softly and straightens up from where he’d been leaning closer to you.

"i mean," he says dryly, "not really. you were a lot easier to convince last time."

his words make you pause instantly. "last time?" you repeat slowly. then your expression changes. "..how many times has this happened?"

for the first time since entering the infirmary, heeseung goes completely silent. as if he’s debating whether answering honestly is a good idea.

"heeseung, answer me."

his gaze lowers briefly before lifting back to yours again. "..three."

your eyes widen immediately. "three?!" you whisper harshly, breaking composure for the first time. "you’re telling me i've died three times?"

"you've reincarnated three times." he corrects softly.

"that isn't any better."

a faint flicker of amusement almost appears on his face before disappearing just as quickly.

"i mean, you remembered faster the second time," he murmurs, almost to himself.

you stare at him in disbelief. he continues, "but that time, you did throw a vase at my head."

your face scrunches up slightly, ignoring his dig at you. "how have i died three times? have you killed me all three?" you scoff.

heeseung is taken aback by your question, maybe even offended that you'd even assume that. "why would i kill my lover?"

before you can respond, he reaches over. his fingers settle against your forehead. you tense slightly on instinct, but all he does is flick it gently. "silly girl. you really do think the worst of me, hm?"

you feel a little disrespected that he thought he could just do that and get away with it. you were a noblewoman, after all.

something in you reacts immediately, you swat his hand away. "don’t do that." you snap, more offended than frightened now. you straighten slightly in bed, "i'm a noblewoman, you can't just touch me like that."

that earns a slight tilt of his head. "but you let me touch you back in the carriage, hm?" he says teasingly, making your face burn red.

"you still react the same way," heeseung mumbles. it feels weird that he's comparing you to yourself, yet you don't remember being her.

"how did you even manage to find out it was me?" you ask, curious about the whole reincarnation thing. heeseung looks a little surprised at your question. "does that mean you knew the whole time in the carriage? were you the one that manipulated with the time of day?" you continue spouting, making him press a finger to your lips, shutting you up effectively.

your words come faster as you think through it, the questions stacking on top of each other until you barely pause for breath.

"oh, so you noticed the time was off?" heeseung smiles, pulling his finger away.

"how could i not? and answer my other question - how did you know it was me?"

"..you always reincarnate into the same body." he begins quietly. "of course it changes with circumstances - like age, but i can always tell that it's you." heeseung sighs softly, a small smirk creeping up onto his face. "and you always smell the same."

if you were stupid, you definitely would've missed the seductive tone in his voice, making you flinch back slightly. "..that is inappropriate."

"you're my wife, why would it be?" the words land flatly, like it's the easiest thing for him to say.

a small blush covers the apple of your cheeks, making you look away in retaliation. "not in this life," you scoff.

"that can be easily arranged, baby." heeseung says, leaning over, picking your chin up between his fingers - making you look at him.

you wrap your fingers around his wrist, attempting to pull him away but he doesn't relent, making you give up pretty easily. "..there isn't a chance that i would've willingly married a pervert like you."

heeseung smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. instead of responding, he leans in, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck, you freeze.

"relax, pretty." heeseung reassures gently, punctuating his words with a slow, deliberate lick along your jugular. the bandages are thin, and you can feel his fangs grazing the sensitive skin without breaking it. your face is beet red at this point, and you're sweating nervously.

he nuzzles further into the crook of your neck, body nearly on top of yours. you're tensed up, but heeseung doesn't care. after all, you're still the same woman he's loved all this time. "you'll let me have another taste, right? i've missed you. you took ages to come back this time around."

heeseung's fingers lightly push at the bandages around your neck when you don't respond, continuing to speak, "i didn't mean for last time to be so rough," he admits, pressing a soft kiss to the side of your neck. "i was just caught up in the moment."

he lifts his head from your neck, making eye contact with you. from this angle, he looked harmless - you had trusted that face once, or at least, something in you reacts like you had.

you take a deep breath, overwhelmed. "will you leave me alone if i let you..?"

"no." heeseung replies back simply, "you're mine again. why would i let you go once more?" his answer makes you scoff.

he leans back in once more, one hand slides down the side of you and rests at your hip, fingers squeezing gently.

"why would you even bother asking if you were just gonna do it anyway?" you mumble in annoyance. heeseung doesn't respond verbally. you can feel his fangs graze across your pulse again, marking exactly where it's gonna hurt. his empty hand grabs the back of your head gently, fingers tangling in your hair.

in one swift motion, he sinks his sharp teeth into the soft flesh of your neck. a soft whimper leaves your lips as you shut your eyes, trying to bear with the pain. you can almost exactly how much blood is leaving your body with each second. his fingers dig into your hip, pulling you closer to him, you shuffle forward with no surrender.

footsteps cut through the corridor outside, fast and urgent. the door slide open sharply.

"my lady!" joo-mi rushes in first, breath caught, eyes instantly locking onto you. relief flashes across her face for half a second before it tightens into panic when she sees heeseung beside you.

right behind her walks in the estate apothecary follows quickly, already holding a prepared medical kit, a guard following closely behind.

and then your father. he stops at the threshold.

for a moment, the entire room is silent. his eyes take in everything at once. you're sitting weakly in bed as heeseung drains the life essence out of you.

heeseung finally pulls away, caring enough to turn back at the audience watching the two of you. you slump back onto the pillows, exhausted.

the air in the room shifts immediately. "..step away from her," your father says, voice low.

joo-mi moves forward quickly, but the guard pulls her back by the arm protectively. the apothecary doesn’t speak, but his grip tightens around his kit in fear.

heeseung, however, doesn’t rush to defend himself, he simply looks at your father, blood dripping out of his mouth, down his chin. a small grin forms onto his face, "i was waiting for you to arrive." heeseung says quietly.

the guard shifts forward half a step, hand near his weapon. "i said to step away." your father speaks again, making heeseung stand, hands up in mock surrender.

your father's eyes narrow at the movement like it still isn’t enough. "..a vampire," he says quietly, like the word itself is offensive.

heeseung doesn't even react, just taking a slow step back from your bed. that only seems to confirm everything in your father's mind.

"you dare stand in my daughter’s room," your father continues, voice tightening with restrained rage, "after what your kind has done to this family?"

heeseung sighs as if talking to these people were a chore.

your father doesn’t look away from heeseung for even a second. "i should have you executed where you stand." he says coldly.

"you could try." heeseung says, tone full of arrogance, which seems to upset your father further. you shut your eyes, barely able to remain conscious at this point.

"you think immortality makes you untouchable?" your father asks, "you're a lowly creature."

heeseung tilts his head slightly, ignoring his insult. "no," he says simply, "but experience does."

heeseung’s eyes drift briefly toward you again, the expression on his face changes. his eyes soften slightly.

before the guard can even draw his weapon, heeseung's gone - just like that.

your father's expression hardens immediately. "search the estate," he orders sharply.

the guard bows, "yes sir." he leaves the room immediately.

joo-mi finally rushes fully to your bedside the second heeseung is gone, kneeling beside you quickly. "my lady, are you hurt?" she asks in a rush, eyes searching over you anxiously.

you barely respond, a small hum leaving your lips.

the apothecary steps forward, examining your form, "please remain still," he says carefully, though his voice sounds slightly shaken.

your father stays where he is, still staring at the empty spot heeseung disappeared from. his gaze shifts over to you, jaw clenched.

"has she been bitten?" your father asks, not bothering to come any closer.

the apothecary hesitates but nods, "yes, she has, my lord."

your father doesn't speak for a moment, but after around thirty seconds he speaks. "call the executioner, now." you barely register his words, but did he really think he had the power to kill heeseung?

both the apothecary and joo-mi snap their heads toward your father. "what? my lord, you don't mean to-"

your father finally looks at you properly now, and something about his expression makes unease crawl beneath your skin. but it isn't grief, or is it relief that you survived.

it's calculation.

"yes, i do." your father interrupts the apothecary. "she's a risk." he finishes coldly.

for a second, you genuinely think you misheard him.

joo-mi looks horrified. "my lord," she says quickly, voice shaking slightly, "the lady was attacked, she is not at fault-"

"you think I don’t know what vampires do?" your father snaps.

silence fills the room immediately afterward. the apothecary's face is as pale as a ghost's.

your father's gaze remains fixed on you now, unwavering. "if he fed from her," he says, each word clipped and controlled, "then we do not know what he could have left behind."

joo-mi instinctively moves closer to your bedside.

"my lord, respectfully, there has been no sign of corruption," the apothecary says carefully. "her pulse is stable, her condition-"

"that creature stood beside her bed like he belonged there," your father says angrily. "and she let him."

that accusation stings you more than you expected. probably because it was actually true. weakly, you find your voice. "father.."

he doesn't even look at you.

"i want her gone by tonight." he says coldly, "make it quick."

"my lord, please, she is your daughter." joo-mi pleads, but he doesn't even listen to that. he walks out of the room after that.

the apothecary gives you a sympathetic look, and joo-mi already has tears falling down her cheeks.

they continue to stream freely down her face as she rushes closer to your bedside, grabbing your hands carefully like she’s terrified you’ll disappear if she lets go. "my lady.." her voice cracks badly. "i'm sorry, i should've been here with you."

you can barely process what just happened. your father had just ordered your execution.

"joo-mi, please." the apothecary pulls her away gently. he leans closer to you. "my lady, please forgive me." your throat tightens at his words.

fear suddenly floods your chest, sharp enough to cut through the exhaustion. the apothecary’s hands tremble as he uncaps a small vial.

a vial is pressed to your lips, before you are made to drink it.

"please," the apothecary says quietly, and somehow the grief in his voice is worse than if he sounded cold. "drink."

your body feels way too weak to fight properly. the liquid pours into your mouth bitter and burning, sliding down your throat before you can try turn away.

you can hear joo-mi's sobs. the apothecary shuts his eyes, as if he himself doesn't want to watch it.

"i added something to make you sleep first," he murmurs. "you should not feel much pain."

the edges of your vision darken slowly as the medicine settles deeper into your system. one thought repeats quietly in your mind.

'heeseung said he wouldn’t let you go again.'

those are the last words you ever think in that life time before your eyes shut for the last time.

there's low humming somewhere nearby. you assume it's air conditioning.

when you wake up again, you're in an unfamiliar room. your eyes open slowly. then you sit up abruptly, and almost immediately regret it. pain throbs behind your temples hard enough to make you wince.

"fuck.." you mutter, voice hoarse. the word sounds foreign after hearing nothing but formal speech for what felt like days. that was definitely the longest dream you'd had in ages. it was so strange.

you couldn't control yourself at all. it was like a series of events all played out for you. plus, you don't think you've ever died in a dream before - assuming that's what happened in the end.

your breathing quickens slightly as you look around properly now. this room wasn't the infirmary, it was a bedroom. modern-style, and completely unfamiliar.

you glance over. a dark hoodie hangs over the back of the chair nearby. from the looks of it, it belonged to a male. you sit up now, alarmed. the worst possibilities come to mind - did you get assaulted after you passed out..?

pushing the blanket draped over you off, you notice all of your clothes are still on and intact. your hand flies immediately to your neck, no andages this time. but the skin there still feels sensitive beneath your fingertips.

you sigh in relief, standing up. you take hesitant steps toward the bedroom door, pressing an ear to it. your legs still feel slightly weak beneath you, but at least they hold your weight this time.

surprisingly, there was no noise on the other side of it.

leaning back, your hand reaches for the handle, turning softly, not wanting to make any noise. the door opens with only the faintest click.

you peek out cautiously first, it's just an empty hallway.

your gaze flicks toward the front door instinctively, which you can barely see from here. it's locked.

three separate locks, actually.

"..okay," you whisper under your breath. that's mildly concerning.

you step out further anyway, bare feet silent against the floor. you gawk, actually - staring at your bare feet, because you definitely weren't the one to remove your shoes or socks.

a voice suddenly comes from somewhere behind you, "most people wait until they fully recover before they try to escape, you know?"

you nearly jump out of your skin.

spinning around sharply, you're met with lee heeseung - except this time, his hair isn't black. it's burgundy, definitely not natural like the last time you saw him.

well, that was in a dream to be fair.

your heart races, feeling heavy.

it's him.

the heeseung plastered across billboards, album photocards shoved into your drawers, performances you’d replayed at two in the morning when you couldn’t sleep.

your actual, real-life idol. your brain feels like it short-circuits.

"did all that work?" heeseung speaks again, leaning closer. this time, he doesn't hesitate to grab you by the waist, smashing his lips against yours in a bruising kiss. his tongue forces it's way past your teeth, kissing you like he's trying to devour you whole and begging for forgiveness all at the same time.

you're dizzy, and confused. did he get the wrong girl? you kiss him back either way. one hand fists your hair gently, angling your head to deepen the kiss further. the other roams on your lower back, before finally resting on your hips.

when heeseung finally breaks away, you're both panting. he rests his forehead against yours, eyes heavy-lidded with clear desire. "i'm sorry for doing that to you." his jaw clenches in anger, like he's remembering a bad memory. "i never forgave myself after that day."

you blink, "..what?" you pant, out of breath. "doing what to me?"

heeseung tilts his head, pulling his head away but his hands are still on you, as if he's scared that if he lets go you'll disappear again. "hm." he inhales, "your dream. it was real. it was your memories in your past life."

for a second, your brain refuses to accept the sentence. real?

you stare at him, searching his face for any sign of joking. there isn't any. "what, you're actually a vampire and i've been reincarnated multiple times?" you joke, but heeseung's face is dead serious.

after a few seconds, he parts his lips, flashing his fangs.

your throat tightens at the sight.

"that doesn’t make sense," you whisper. "tell me something that happened in the dream, then."

"you let me get you off in the carriage." he says, a smug grin on his face as the words leave his mouth. your face heats up at the embarrassing memory.

"okay," you fold almost immediately. "i believe you." heeseung looks relieved at your words, but a little surprised too. to be honest though, you sort of believed in the whole red-string theory. if he's found you multiple times in each life time, then maybe it was meant to be.

that same teasing smirk you saw in your dream re-appears on his face.

"i think that's the shortest amount of time it's ever taken me to convince you." he says. "you're getting better at it."

you think about his words. you were a huge fan of him, at least in this life time, there wouldn't be a reason for you to deny him. he was the bias in your favourite group, after all. his voice interrupts your thoughts.

"oh, so you're a fan of my work?" heeseung asks coyly, leaning in closer. you lean back instinctively, face feeling hot.

"..you can't use your mind-reading thing against me." memories of your dream flash-back to you. mainly when heeseung left you to die, kind of.

heeseung opens his mouth to speak, but you cut him off. "mind you, you're basically the reason i died, and you bit me twice without my permission."

the teasing in heeseung’s face doesn’t disappear, but it softens. "i'm sorry." he wraps his arms around you, bringing you closer to him. you indulge in his touch, but then he opens his mouth again. "plus, i asked you the second time."

you scoff, pulling away. "if my memory serves me correctly, i said no and you bit me anyway."

a guilty expression washes over his face. "you're right. i'm sorry, baby." the pet-name catches you off guard. especially since it's coming from lee heeseung of all people. maybe this was a dream too, and you were going to wake up disappointed.

"it isn't a dream." heeseung says, sounding a little frustrated. his fingers graze your jaw, before grabbing your face, squishing your cheeks together firmly, but gently. "do i have to prove that to you?"

you're taken aback, eyes widening slightly. his lips are on yours before you can even fully register the meaning of his words. his kiss isn't as gentle as it was previously though. his fangs graze your bottom lip, barely, but still cutting the muscle open. his tongue swipes, licking up any blood that seeps out of the cut. heeseung's hands slide into your hair, angling your head to deepen the kiss as he presses your back against the wall.

when he finally breaks away, saliva connecting your slick lips, you're both left panting. his eyes are half lidded, looking at you with clear desire.

“let me make it up to you,” heeseung murmurs, voice low. “let me show you how sorry i am for letting you go. for how much i need you.”

one of his hand trails down your side, resting on your waist. that same cold hand of his slides underneath your shirt, making you flinch as his palms skim over the soft skin of your stomach and ribs. he tugs at the fabric, silently demanding more access to you.

this time, he actually waits for an answer.

you blink in surprise at first, but nod when you see his pleading eyes.

“fuck, you taste so good," he rasps, ducking his head to press hot, open-mouthed kisses along your jaw and down your neck. “i’ve wanted this for so long..."

he nips at your pulse point, before soothing the sting with his tongue. heeseung makes no move to bite you this time, simply just sucking hickeys onto your neck as his hands explore your body.

he grabs your hand, dragging you to his living room. heeseung guides you backwards until the back of your legs hit the couch, causing you to sit down.

he follows, settling between your parted thighs. “tell me what you want, baby.” heeseung coaxes, looking up at you through his lashes. “i’ll give you anything."

this was all happening so quickly, you felt dizzy. you snap back into reality. clearing your throat, you realised you were in control here clearly, so you might as well take advantage of it.

when you don't respond, heeseung sighs - before grabbing your wrists, pinning them above your head. "i was trying to be gentle, since i haven't fucked you for centuries, but you make it so hard to resist."

heeseung leans closer, pressing his body against yours. his cock throbbed painfully in his sweat pants, slowly losing self-control with each second. you can't ignore the feeling of his hard-on eagerly touching you, still separated with the layers of both of your clothing.

"i had to wait hundreds of years for this," he whispers lowly, "for you to be under me once again."

heeseung misses your past lives together. he misses the way you used to writhe underneath him, hearing you moan his name over and over again. he learnt exactly what made you whimper, learnt exactly where your g-spot was, and how to make your legs shake. how else did you get off so quickly back in the carriage?

heeseung's hand snakes down past the band of your skirt. you were still dressed in your office uniform, after all. he can feel the heat radiating from your pussy, even your arousal was evident through the thin fabric. "i don't want to upset you again," he begins, he mumbles against your neck, "so, i'll ask this time. will you let me fuck you?"

you make eye contact with him, and all the blood in your body goes straight to your heart, pumping furiously. folding, you nod. "..okay."

heeseung grins, releasing your wrists. you're confused, but then before you can react, you're manhandled onto your stomach.

"what-" you start to speak, but heeseung cuts you off. "shh, just relax." he murmurs, hands gripping your hips firmly, thumbs digging into the soft flesh. one of his hands slides around to the front, going underneath the waistband of your skirt.

his fingers rub against your panties, thumb specifically going for your clit. heeseung lets out a soft groan when he feels how damp you are. "you're so wet for me, yet you act like you don't want this, hm?"

"can you just fuck me?" you hiss, embarrassed. you lift your hips slightly, trying to feel more than just teasing touches, but his fingers don't move.

he calls your name, voice low. "i don't appreciate you talking to me like that." you feel his fingers tangle into your hair, before tugging you backward. "i was going to be gentle with you, considering you haven't taken me in years."

heeseung's hand pushes your skirt up, making it bunch around at your waist. his palm comes down, spanking your ass. "but i guess you're still an eager slut, same as all of those years ago." a soft whimper leaves your lips.

"..why would you even say that?" you grumble, annoyed at the fact that he was not only degrading you, but also comparing you to another version of yourself again. it didn't exactly turn you off though.

his fingers hook in the waistband of your panties, practically ripping them off you. "why would i say that? because it's true." his hand comes back down. "spread your legs." his tone leaves no room for argument.

hesitantly, you spread your legs. heeseung wastes no time, his hand delivering another sharp spank, this time to your aching cunt. he groans at the sound of your startled gasp as a result of it, the noise sending a jolt of arousal straight to his dick.

a shaky sigh leaves his lips, and you can feel his presence step back. "on your knees." he says calmly, making your eyebrows knit in confusion. you look back at him, but he looks dead serious - it's kind of scary even.

you blink, but retreat, climbing off the couch, settling onto your knees. looking up, he's already looking down at you, expression impassive as he tugs at the waistband of his sweats.

your bare knees are already digging into the hardwood floor, making you shift slightly. heeseung reaches inside, freeing his dick - and making your eyes widen at the impressive size.

it was pretty though, in a weird way. his tip was a pretty pink, and a prominent vein went along the side of it.

"..you don't actually expect me to give you a blowjob, right?" you say, dumbfounded. it wasn't outrageously thick in girth, but the actual length of it looks like it could kill you maybe.

heeseung's hand reaches for the top of your scalp, he curls his fingers in your silky hair, gripping firmly but not painfully as he makes you look up at him. "does it look like i'm kidding?"

you gulp, the look on his face told you he definitely wasn't. with a slight tug of his hand, he guides you closer until the swollen head of his dick brushes against your bottom lip. "open your mouth, pretty."

the pet-name kind of eases your hesitance in a way. you part your lips, revealing the pink wetness of your tongue. heeseung applies steady pressure, slowly pushing past your lips and onto your tongue. the taste of his pre-cum floods your senses as he starts feeding you more of his dick, inch by inch.

"that's it.." heeseung groans, throwing his head back, holding you in place as he starts shallow thrusts. the hand in your hair tightens, forming a pony-tail with whatever hair is in grasp of his fingers.

you pull off, gagging when he starts to thrust. you aren't used to this, and his dick is way too big - hurting your jaw. heeseung allows you to compose yourself, reaching down with his other hand to wipe at a stray tear. "too big?" he snorts teasingly, making you glare up at him.

"shut up." you hiss, wrapping your fingers around his shaft again, taking him back into your mouth. heeseung hums approvingly at that.

"that's better.." he praises, moving the hair out of your face. he pants softly, starting to move his hips forward into your mouth. each thrust pushes him further past your stretched lips, the thick head of his dick nudging the back of your throat.

one of his hands remains tangled in your hair, setting the pace, while the other one traces along your jawline gently. that same hand drops lower, grazing over your neck as he feels it bulge slightly around his dick. drool escapes the corners of your mouth, coating your chin and dripping down onto your heaving chest, staining your blouse.

"you're taking me so well." heeseung whimpers softly, hand on your neck moving to your cheek as he strokes it gently. "guess your body still knows who it belongs to even after all this time."

you feel yourself getting light-headed from the lack of oxygen, and so you pull off. heeseung hesitantly lets you, watching the string of saliva that connects your lips to the swollen head of his cock.

"was that too much for you, baby?" heeseung strokes your hair gently, but his tone is nothing but condescending. ironic because the entire time he was trying not to cum as soon as you wrapped your lips around his tip.

his hand reaches back down underneath your skirt as you willingly part your legs for him. heeseung's fingers finding your most intimate area, spreading your slick folds open. "you're even wetter than before," he observes, almost snickering. "did sucking my dick really excite you that much?"

without waiting for a response, he pushes two thick fingers knuckle-deep into your sopping heat, pumping steadily as he stretches you open for him. you gasp, hands immediately gripping onto his forearm in an attempt to stabilise yourself. that makes him grin, leaning in to whisper into your ear. "i'm the only one who can make you feel like this, right?"

you weren't a virgin in this timeline, but he didn't need to know that. you nod at his words, "...yeah, of course." his eyebrows furrow, and at that you remember he can read minds. shit.

heeseung's thumb finds your clit, rubbing firm circles which coaxes more of your essence to coat his digits. his other hand has a bruising grip on your hip. heeseung's gaze is locked onto your face, taking in every micro-expression and breathy whimper that leaves your lips. "maybe i wasn't your first, but you'd be stupid to think i'd let someone else touch you ever again."

the pressure in your stomach increases, but he pulls his fingers out before you can even consider cumming. you open your mouth in protest, but he stuffs his fingers in, silencing you effectively.

he pulls his fingers out of your mouth. heeseung pulls you up and bends you back over the couch, stomach flat against it as he tugs your hips up with his hands. "you're so annoying," you whine, turning your head back to glare at him. "i was going to cum."

"you're about to cum soon, stop being impatient. you're not the one who's waited years." he snaps back, annoyed. heeseung's hand forces your head down into the pillows of the cushion, and that's when you feel his swollen tip press against your wet folds.

heeseung pushes in without any warning, bottoming out immediately, making you jolt as you moan into the pillows. your cunt immediately tries to push out the large intrusion by fluttering dramatically around his length as heeseung stills, letting you adjust.

he pulls your head up by your hair, letting you breathe. it kind of hurts in your lower region, making you exhale. "am i bleeding..?" you whimper out, internally hoping he'll say no.

"a bit, yeah." his fingers reach to your inner thigh, scooping up what you presume to be the blood, and you can hear him lick his fingers - ew. heeseung pushes your head back into the pillows, before withdrawing his hips, only to slam back harder. you choke.

heeseung says something to you, but you can barely register his words with his dick so far in you that you can basically feel it in your throat. he leans forward, pulling you up so your back is against his chest, his hand snaking around to press against the lower part of your tummy.

"nothing to say?" he whispers into your ear, moving his hips up again in a particularly hard thrust, making a loud cry leave your swollen lips. his hand drops further down, cupping your cunt as he rubs your clit.

you can barely stand, resting the back of your head against his shoulder. "..what? i-i didn't hear you." you mumble, tears welling up into your eyes.

heeseung leans forward, kissing the side of your neck. his fangs graze the skin again, but you can't lean away due to his arm on your collarbone keeping you pressed against him. "i said, you wouldn't mind if i take a sip now, right?"

you turn your head in rejection, unknowingly realising that it just gives him easier access to your neck. in turn heeseung takes that opportunity., sinking his fangs into your neck. he doesn't stop moving his dick in and out of you either.

you can't form thoughts as your vision starts to blur, unable to stop choked moans and whimpers from leaving your throat. it just feels way too good, even if this is his way of punishing you - using you like a personal fleshlight of sorts.

heeseung continues sucking on your neck, hand back on your lower stomach, pressing down as he feels himself in there. he pulls away, panting softly in your ear. "are you going to cum soon, pretty?"

you nod, completely putting all of your weight onto him and the couch as you can barely keep yourself up right. heeseung lets you lean onto him, increasing the fervour of his thrusts. your eyes roll into the back of your head as you feel him lick onto the wound he made on your neck.

"..t-that tickles, stop." you mumble out, gummy walls clenching down onto his cock at the feeling of him licking you.

heeseung pushes you back onto your stomach, following you as he pushes his weight onto you. he moves your hair from the side of your neck, kissing your jaw. "but baby, you just tightened up the second i did that." the pace of his thrusts increase, hips meeting against your ass each time. heeseung sucks a hickey onto your neck, licking over it once he deems it as perfect.

you feel lightheaded at this point, and you're on the brink of cumming. heeseung's hand wraps around your throat, applying light pressure there. his mouth moves down, biting your shoulder now. that's your breaking point, making you cum over his cock. "you taste even better like this.." he whines softly into your ear, pulling away from your shoulder.

your thighs shake underneath him, sobbing as you shut your eyes completely. heeseung doesn't stop though, whimpering softly into your ear as he re-doubles his efforts, trying to make himself cum.

"f-fuck," he whines, burying his face into the crook of your neck. every flutter of your tight walls contracting around him made his eyes roll back. your body twitches as heeseung continues, chasing his own release. you could basically feel every vein and ridge of his dick now, feeling extra sensitive because you just came.

heeseung's cock twitched inside you, before you feel him empty himself deep inside of you. he fills you completely, a loud moan leaving his lips at the same time, "i love you...you're mine." he pants out, mumbling against your neck, "you're mine only, nobody else gets to have you but me."

you honestly feel like you're about to pass out, slumping back into the couch. the combination of his rough treatment plus the blood sucking was enough to make you want to sleep. heeseung notices this.

he kisses the side of your cheek, "one more time?" the glare you shoot him afterwards gives him your answer, but heeseung doesn't relent, flipping you onto your back. "don't look at me like that. i'm just excited to finally have you back."

"hey, heeseung.." you call out tiredly, looking up at him. "why haven't you just turned me into a vampire already?" maybe it wasn't possible? who knows.

heeseung stares down at you, his pupils becoming bigger at your words. "..you never wanted me to turn you into one, even though i wanted to." he mumbles quietly, making your eyes widen.

before you can even process it properly, heeseung speaks again, too fast this time, like the words slipped out before he could stop them.

"..do you want me to?"

you blink.

the question hangs between you immediately. you? a vampire? the thought feels strange, almost unreal. you imagine the fangs, the immortality, oh and the blood. but somehow, your brain circles back to heeseung.

to staying beside him. to not dying while he remains exactly the same, waiting for your next return. "..i'm okay with it," you admit slowly. "if you want to, of course."

heeseung stares at you. his hand lifts instinctively, fingertips brushing lightly beneath your jaw before stopping himself halfway.

"you have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say that."

this literally took me ages and i literally was just gonna keep this in the drafts bc i couldn't stick w a consistent plot line so if there are any loopholes try ur best to ignore them 😭😭 i tried my best to proofread and make sure there wasn't any tho 🫶🫶

i wanted to have a try but im lowkey never writing smut again bc that shit was WAY too hard like there is just sm going on omfg, lowkey the reason this even took so long to write bc i just kept procrastinating it lol😭🤦‍♀️