She Never Shuts Up Normally

If the US military wants so bad to liberate a desert region from a repressive religious organization, Utah is right there.

i feel like tumblr users are the only ones who don’t use ai. everyone else would fuck chatgpt if they could

Are you doing okay? We missed you at the devil's sacrament. He mentioned you by name. Everyone was looking around and cheering until we realized you weren't there. If you need to talk I'm always here. At the aforementioned devil's sacrament.

tonight's the first night of chanukah where's that pic of the guy smoking a joint shaped like a menorah

you're just mad because you're hungry and tired and your legs hurt and you head hurts and you're too hot and you have depression

The US is crazy bc like so many people have intense conspiracy theories about the government like "I think there's a secret elite group of people who control everything" and you can tell them "actually you're not completely wrong, it's just not a secret group of people, it's a bunch of rich people and lobbyists who are doing it all out in the open" and they'll be like "hmmn I don't think it's THOSE people though. I prefer my racist & antisemitic theories"

They'll be like "I heard there's a powerful ring of pedophiles who are influencing the country" and you'll tell them "I mean yeah that's what the Epstein files are about" and they'll say "no I'm pretty sure this has to do with The Queers actually"

You see I too often sat in school classes and thought “when am I ever going to need this, I’m never going to be an engineer, I’m never gonna be a scientist, I’m never gonna be a linguist” and then I grew up and it turns out a lot of bigots and cults and scams and grifts hinge their entire business model on you just. Not knowing what a protein is or some shit

Back when I worked at walgreens I didn't know witch hazel was a real thing people would come in asking for it and I'd be like yeah it's on aisle 3 next to the wolfsbane and eye of newt you fucking idiot bastard

Nothing more embarrassing than accidentally using a big word wrong because now I'm simultaneously both stupid and pretentious, the worst combination of all time

God the 11 year old girls you put on this earth to climb trees and play with plastic animals are buying foundation at the drug store

for a second i thought you meant foundation like, a building foundation. not makeup

God the 11 year old girls you put on this earth are building something great and terrible on the edge of town

The phrase "They don't want it perfect, they want it Friday" does wonders for my productivity.