Obscured View

I still remember how I am so into you...

but why am I dropping all the possibilities,

It's funny how the moon connects the both of us

It was just then when we were lying next to each other

Talking about nonsense things while gazing at the sky

and suddenly got inlove with the moon's beauty

Now, we are still gazing at it, looking at the same old moon

As if we're not thousands of miles away

You're at the other island but it feels like you're beside me

I'm happy that the connection still exist at this time

and I wish for it to continue till we join the moon and stars at the sky

This ain't poem, or any creative shit. I'm posting this to remind and congratulate myself.

It's been, I think 3 days since I assessed that I finally accepted it. There were days on and off if I'm really over it, well, those were my shit days, kala ko ok na, then kinabukasan hindi na naman. 7 months of official moving on, not including the months na nagpakatanga ako at bumalik balik pa sa kanya, which I said to myself na I'm totally removing this toxic person sa buhay ko. Well I guess, I was just in love, that resulted me to be too much gullible. Tama nga yung pinapkinggan kong mga podcast, there would be a day na magigising ka nalang tapos ok kana, na tanggap mo na, just give it a time sabi nga nila. This person was really toxic, to the point na nagawa niya pa akong guluhin para bigyan ng mixed signals. Good thing, I indulged myself with these podcasts on how to be strong, self love and to self respect. I was able to confront that shit, and this confrontation really helped me to take a big step.

Moving on doesn't really indicate na wala ka ng feelings towards the person, maybe meron onti pero tanggap mo na eh, na you really won't end up being with each other. There were times kung naalala ko siya, I wanna control it, I whisper to myself na "no, I don't wanna to think of you, I'll stop this". Ngayon, I just keep it free flowing, yep may konting kirot pero you've already accepted it, na it's just a memory, forever suspended in time, sa past, na will be forever be there and a part of yourself.

"The Perks of Being a Wallflower"

Is it the right person, wrong timing?

or

It's funny how destiny mess around with our lovelife

Most of the time, the one they send us are the opposite of the person we fancy

I wished for someone older than me

But it gaved me who's 2 years younger

I've wanted the feeling of being taking cared of

But it ended up the contrary

I wanted to act carefree

But sadly I'm obliged not to

The 11 months gave me heartbreaks

But December has been a buzzer beater

I was looking for someone to love me

But I figured out that I should be the one giving love

One thing I realized this very moment, 0128H. I should start loving and not falling in love. Because everything that falls, gets broken.

I found the answer.

In solitude...

I found self-love.

and in leaving you...

I don’t want to say goodbye

Someone please tell me why

You’re everywhere even though we’re done

I find you in the most unexpected places

In songs

In random conversations

In my thoughts 

In my heart and veins

you left but you’re still here.

I just borrowed you.

Being with you was timeless.

You taught me things that

I never learned in my 20 years of existence.

But we know that I don't own you,

that I can't keep you,

for you are bound to be returned.

But as I give you back,

Tree

You've built so much walls within the years

yet you let a plain moment to rupture it

yet you let a mere person to breach under it

yet you let a naïve kiss to ruin to what you believed in