2 April 2021
This ain't poem, or any creative shit. I'm posting this to remind and congratulate myself.
It's been, I think 3 days since I assessed that I finally accepted it. There were days on and off if I'm really over it, well, those were my shit days, kala ko ok na, then kinabukasan hindi na naman. 7 months of official moving on, not including the months na nagpakatanga ako at bumalik balik pa sa kanya, which I said to myself na I'm totally removing this toxic person sa buhay ko. Well I guess, I was just in love, that resulted me to be too much gullible. Tama nga yung pinapkinggan kong mga podcast, there would be a day na magigising ka nalang tapos ok kana, na tanggap mo na, just give it a time sabi nga nila. This person was really toxic, to the point na nagawa niya pa akong guluhin para bigyan ng mixed signals. Good thing, I indulged myself with these podcasts on how to be strong, self love and to self respect. I was able to confront that shit, and this confrontation really helped me to take a big step.
Moving on doesn't really indicate na wala ka ng feelings towards the person, maybe meron onti pero tanggap mo na eh, na you really won't end up being with each other. There were times kung naalala ko siya, I wanna control it, I whisper to myself na "no, I don't wanna to think of you, I'll stop this". Ngayon, I just keep it free flowing, yep may konting kirot pero you've already accepted it, na it's just a memory, forever suspended in time, sa past, na will be forever be there and a part of yourself.
Maybe this will be my diary or testimony dito sa tumblr. Baka mag post ako about what I've learned or paano ko to napag tagumpayan. Bahala na.
