Im Always On About Some Minecraft Yaoi

Well, okay, maybe that's not exactly true, his first reaction was to think that Bad's drinking problem was back. And his second reaction was to think that Tubbo lured Bad into playing a prank on him. Come to think of it, envisioning slaying the evil king was his eight reaction at best, and only after Bad convinced him to sit down and hear him out.

But after he learned about the prophecy – that a chosen one will one day come to the Null and free its citizens by beheading the tyrant with the sword known as OSC (Outstanding Sword for Cutthroating) – Pangi's been imagining how it would go ever since.

(Why was he the chosen one? Well, he asked Bad the same question, but only got told that it's a 'good question' and that it's 'obvious' in a tone that made Pangi feel kind of dumb, so he pretended he understood).

The point is, that never in his mind he imagined it to go like that:

"Just cut it already!" Aimsey yells at him from the other side of the ballroom. There's like three different figures in black capes that are attacking them.

"I am trying!" Pangi yells back. The King of Null is convulsing underneath him with the sword stuck in the side of his throat.

"Try harder!" Lukey and Ros yell at him simultaneously, fighting five of the king's men in a surprisingly effective teamwork.

Pangi groans and pushes harder.

It's not his fucking fault the legendary sword hasn't been sharpened in centuries!

The beheading ends up taking at least 15 times longer than he originally thought, but finally, with the one last push, the Null's King's head comes off and rolls down the ballroom floor right to Lukey's legs.

Everyone stops fighting and looks at it.

Lukey bends down and picks the head up by the hair with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Holy shit", someone says. Was it one of the king's men?

"Fucking finally", Lukey sighs and looks up at Pangi with a bright smile. Pangi smiles back, the giddy feeling of pride bubbling in his chest.

"So... what now?"

Everyone looks at Pangi.

***

In the next 48 hours several things happen:

• Pangi announces himself to be the temporary king until they find the heir (Lukey's idea).

• Pangi and his friends and also around 2 or 20 Null soldiers take a short trip to the late king's estate to retrieve from the tower there the Princess of Null and bring her to the castle as the rightful ruler.

• They don't find the Princess of Null in the tower. In fact, they only find a bunch of alchemy supplies, spilled potion bottles and a note that says 'Goodbyeeeeee, suckers'.

• Pangi's kingship quickly becomes very permanent because of the runaway princess (very much to his dismay, he was planning to go on another epic quest with his friends instead of doing something as boring as ruling a kingdom)(at least Lukey is going to stay and help, unlike Ros and Aimsey, who have to return to their own kingdoms).

• And also Pangi gets told about the curse (god, being the chosen one SUCKS).

"Your highness, I will repeat once again", one of the old king's advisors sighs, frustrated. "Every Null's monarch has to get married within the first year of their rule, otherwise the curse will be unleashed upon them".

Pangi stares at the guy. The guy stares at him back. Lukey looks between them, curious and concerned.

"No, but what does it mean? What curse?"

If Pangi didn't know better, he would think the advisor is looking at the OSC in Pangi's hands rather wistfully right about now.

"If you don't get married, you are sent to the void", the advisor repeats again. "So the council would like to know, who is going to be our new king's lucky spouse?"

Pangi glances at him and claps his lap, offering Lukey to sit down, because he would really much like to cuddle his best friend right now. Lukey ignores the lap sitting offer and instead pulls another fancy chair closer to Pangi, sitting there. His hand finds its way into the new king's auburn hair, brushing it softly, and that's good enough to make him relax just a bit.

"I guess I will have to find someone to marry me", Pangi squirms. "For tax benefits".

Lukey flicks his forehead at that, and Pangi hisses, pressing his fingers at the place of impact.

"No, dude, I mean, how are we going to find someone for you to marry, who is trustworthy enough to rule this kingdom with you", Lukey clarifies, leaning a bit closer to Pangi, catching his gaze. "Do you have anyone in mind?"

Pangi's always liked Lukey's eyes. They are dark brown and warm, like chocolate or black tea in winter, but under the certain light they can almost look black. He swears he sometimes sees purple flecks, like glitter, in them too if he looks deep enough.

"You know what? I do have an idea", Pangi tells him softly, not looking away.

Lukey tilts his head slightly, with that stupid wonderous expression of his that makes Pangi want to squish him like a marshmallow.

"Why not?! It makes so much sense".

"I am not doing any of that f a g shit with you, Pangi", Tubbo shakes his head so violently that he almost falls out of the frame of the crystal ball they are talking through.

"That's crazy, I am straight actually", Pangi grumbles. "But think about it. You are already Princess of Green, and if you become the Queen of Null too, there's so much potential! Plus you always wanted to get your hands on Null's magical studies. You can have them if we get married!"

"Fuck no", Tubbo repeats. "Not worth it. Plus you are funny if you think I won't get them from you anyway".

Pangi wants to argue further, but a familiar voice cuts him off.

"Is that Pangi?" Bad's voice rings from somewhere behind Tubbo, and a second later the demon's lanky figure is pushing into the frame, almost making Tubbo fall again.

"Hi, Bad", Pangi greets his mentor/sorta father. "Being the chosen one sucks".

"Oh, I am sure you are doing great, Pangi", Bad coos, finally settling that way so him and Tubbo are both in frame, even if it means that they are uncomfortably pressed against each other. "What are we talking about?"

Pangi (regretting that immediately because Bad gets WAY to excited about the prospect of his 'darling boy' getting someone 'special to cherish and maybe maim just a little bit' in life) informs him of everything that's been happening.

"Why did you even take the title?" Tubbo asks, squinting in confusion. "Where's the Princess of Null? Did you kill them?"

"Ran away from her tower", Pangi huffs. "Why, did you know her?"

"I was supposed to marry her actually at some point", Tubbo muses. "For political benefits and yadda yadda".

Pangi frowns.

"But... aren't you gay? Why would you marry a girl?"

"Aren't you straight? Why are you trying to propose to a guy?"

"Touché".

"Oh, Pangi, we are going to find you a lovely spouse", Bad chimes in again, his voice full of whimsy and butterflies. "Don't mind Tubbo, we can find someone much better!"

"Hey!"

Pangi snorts.

"Thank you, Bad. I guess I should go and draft some ideas. Or practice my rizz on someone. Whatever will help".

The 'someone' in this case, being, of course, Lukey, his most trusted friend. But Bad and Tubbo don't have to know it.