wavering. radiant.

Messing with the new students at secret wizard college by making up spells that aren't real

"Tch, you don't even know how to cast Mungus Blast?"

What's a Mungus Blast?

Wow you don't even know about Mungus Blast

Please, I must know what a Mungus Blast is. I beg of you, tell me.

Look, if you must know, head down to the archives and ask the Hovering Orb of Knowledge what a Mungus Blast is. Make sure you ask really loud.

Oh, "yeast is slow, it costs a lot to fill up" is such a lovely series of word to discover anywhere

tag yourself

no. you know what? fuck you. *uncaramelizes your onions*

i saw wallace slice up the moon and eat it as cheese on a cracker as a kid and i just haven't known true satisfaction since

a man shooting a nerf gun at his light switch from the bed, missing every shot, and going to sleep with the lights on

*sees something cool on the internet* hmm *shows it to my wife* hey hon is this cool? i love you

*sees something uncool on the internet* uh oh! wouldnt want my lovely wife seeing this *smashes my computer*

If he’s your man then why was i able to slowly coax him indoors with a handful of almonds