Asdfghjkl Idk

I see many Winnie the Poohs at the hospital (aka Winnie aka Pooh aka Pooh Bear), as you may guess.  Many look like this, a bit flat and with small wounds, designed to have a removable shirt:

They come for spas:

New hearts and stuffing:

And plumping up so they have a proper belly again:

Sometimes they look like this:

A bit more loved… or as his person said, in more “desperate condition”.

He also had a spa (not everyone does):

As you may’ve noticed, he needed a new nose and there were several options:

His heart had a pooh on it as well as some magic from a heffalump:

And after a bit of arm and smile surgery, soon he was healthy and ready to fly home:

His person wrote “He looks wonderful!”

The final Pooh I’m going to show you today just flew home yesterday.  He is always called Pooh Bear.  He is 14 years old and showed every year of hugs.  

Here are the photos his person’s mom sent for diagnosis:

As you can see, Pooh Bear was a bit flat and a bit gray.  He came in for a spa:

Got new stuffing and a magical Heffalump heart to preserve a bit of his original stuffing:

And finally was clean and plump and fluffy and ready to fly home:

They’e created by a channel called “BillionSurpriseToys”. They have an official twitter

3 things: 1) They have their location set as the UAE, so we know what country these are coming from

2) They joined in October 2015, which means they’ve been around for a while, even before the “elsagate” thing was big 

3) they have a website 

When I loaded up the website, google immediately let me know that the connection was not secure 

and….. my adblock blocked 84 popups/ads 

what the hell. so there’s obviously something fishy with this page 

they have a shop….. okay 

where you can buy… “merchandize”…. which is six of the identical t-shirt

They also have an about page… filled with… more grammatical/spelling errors

“technology dominates ou kids’ lives” 

“inculate”?????? 

They also have a blog…. with generic parenting-related topics

most of these articles are posted multiple times with different titles 

These posts seem suspiciously too competent for the usual phrasing on this website, and are from the pespective of parents. careful googling reveals that they’re actually from a mommy blog, here , whose content was just wholesale stolen. 

…..okay 

on another note, they have a character page with… this guy 

…… i hate it 

anyways, at the bottom of the page, there’s a link to the hosting company they use. 

This redirects to what looks like a normal webhosting/media management company... but after reading it…. it has the same text as the billion surpise toys company. its some kind of shell. 

I looked up the company…

They’re a 3d animation company in India pretending to be a media/web hosting company for a youtube channel based in the UAE? ?? what is happening??? also btw they’re hiring!

This website also has a privacy policy page

An note. 

The website also has the same layout as the first website… but with a buuunch of broken links. 

….except for these, which all link to the main website instead of their profile. okay 

Make enough of them that are similar enough and pass kid-safe standards (which they all do because they’re brightly colored and nonviolent, two of the major standards), and you can get the YouTube autoplay algorithm to put your videos on basically infinitely, until someone actually changes the channel. The next recommended video, based on content and audience similarity, will just be another one of your “lullaby educational kids song 3 hours” monstrosities, indefinitely.

A kid, babysitter, or exhausted parent clicks on one of them. It plays. Ads appear every 7 minutes (the maximum amount before additional screening for spam kicks in). The kid wanders off without turning off the console or computer, just the screen. Now you get ad revenue every 7 minutes until that machine turns off or gets used again, probably overnight or maybe even a full day, because every next autoplay is another of your videos. And every video that plays further locks in the autoplay.

Channels set up these nested shell companies so their channel can become verified as an official business channel, which automatically reduces the amount of screening you undergo, too.

They tend to be based in India because there’s a sufficiently skilled talent base and resource base to produce the hundreds of hours of just distinct enough visuals. In many cases, titles are generated algorithmically based on what pulled the most revenue the week before and to search terms for the last few days. Videos are then created to match the algorithmic titles, hence the bizarre combinations of topics.

This helps get these videos to the top of search results for popular kids searches, increasing the chance that the infinite recommendation loop gets started by the largest possible number of people.

I admit, if you haven’t been wading through this shitshow professionally for a few years, it probably looks pretty creepy.

But it’s not a cult or a conspiracy.

“what bro”

“tell the whole world that we’re bros”

*whispers* “we’re bros”

“why’d you whisper bro?”

“because you’re my whole world bro”

Oil paint: Bit of a traditionalist. Born in the wrong era. Formal clothes. Very patient. Constantly changing their minds. Lingering touches. Sometimes a bit full of themselves but tries not to be.

Acrylic paint: Not very patient. Aims for things that seems unachievable. Always striving to be more. Bold moves. Colourful clothing. Not one to follow the rules. Never tired.

Charcoal: Does before they think. Bold. Dirty hands. Big smiles. Too much coffee. Not afraid to speak up. Not easy to make friends with but a very loyal friend.

Watercolour: Dancing in the rain. Old movies. Content with what they have. Seems younger than they are. Spinning until they’re dizzy. Soft laughter. Cold feet.

Colour pencil: Notices a lot of detail. Colourful clothing. Can’t finish anything. Spends a lot of time and energy on things they love. Carnivals. Wants to please. Hard working.

Pen: Lives in extremes. Well mannered. Wicked smiles. Never sleeps. Popular. Knows too much for their own good. Involved in a lot of things. Overworks themselves.

Pencil: Focuses on detail. Knowing smiles. Always on the edge of a breakdown. Always busy. Constantly busy with something new. Sticks to old habits.The go-to-friend.