SepoIam

 Losing yourself is not really literally losing oneself, it is not letting go of a past version of you, and you say that you have matured, or screwing up an exam and losing your past self that was an academic achiever. It’s about the little bits of your soul or yourself that you invest on objects or persons. When you leave those items, persons or you screw up for them to get destroyed or go away. That’s what losing yourself truly is. 

 This time it is different, but I still think this is not in my hands or control.It's funny how she destroys me from time to time.  Maybe we do follow a certain fate and we don't have free will. Tables have been turned and sides have been switched. I lost friends because THEY were in their relationships. But maybe this time I will lose a friend because I'M in a relationship. It did happen before.

wtf ?????? when was this?

Currently on cloud 9. As in the opposite of cloud 9, maybe I should call it Ground 9. I don’ know what will happen I can’ even comprehend why people keep telling me that we OWE it. We owe this chance. Like WTF why can’t you understand that this is so unfair? this is so gruesome for us? Can you think about the time table? Can you think about the the whole scenario and how about the mental stress and torture what there doing to us? Honestly the whole concept an exam to decide whether a person can pursue his/her career is wrong, just a simple exam to prove their worth? legitimacy? well that’s quite stupidity at it’s finest. No one understands the pain and stress this brings.. and then here we go we have an exam tomorrow and here I am too bummed and can’t even focus to study so yolo to that stupid exam. It’s my fault I didn’t study but guess what, I don’t even enough motivation to care.  Just because of a stupid exam I need to have a sudden change of path in terms of career. Moron and stupid way of proving a SCHOOL’S passing rate. You don’t want to the work and let the student do it and you have credit. 

Gahd, I’m so stressed out recently, as in stress is at an all time high and everything feels like going down. As in down, straight to the netherworld right through hell and the underworld. Maybe nearing oblivion or the void. As of now I just want to party have a day or week, a party like never before with drinks and stuff to have a good time. Well not like wild party in clubs nope. Just mild drinks with people I know and somehow showed a lil bit sense of care or sympathy towards me. Why I choose this picture? Nothing in particular I just like his picture that’s all. 

Disappointments and Regrets yes that was plaguing my mind during the ride, but in the end, it was nothing but love. If the price to pay to retain CQ and leave the office without any payable is not winning an over - all champion but still a contender, I’d take it any day. 

Like C’mon what the hell is the BIG DEAL about all this sh!t? Ano ba ang importante yung kasal niyong sobrang bongga yung wedding ceremony niyo na daig pa nagastos ng mga artista? Hindi ba ang importante naman talaga ay yung mag kasama kayo ng kapartner in life mo. Hindi kung gano ka engrande ang kasal niyo, hindi kung gano ka engrande yung surpirse niya sayo or kanyang proposal. Girls matuto kayo makuntento, hindi na kasi sapat senyo yung SIMPLE lang. Bukang bibig niyo gusto ko ganito gusto ko ganyan, pero kahit simple okay lang. Pero pag hindi na provide si ‘ganito’ ‘ganyan’ ayan an disappointed, malungkot at mag dradrama. Ano ba naman kayo, may contentment ba talaga? pshh Masyado ng mainstream kasi sa social media mga ginagawa ng mga taong mayayaman or mga artist na super bonggang proposal and weddings, pano naman yung simpleng tao lang na walang limpak  limpak na pera. Oo importante din samin na guys to pero c’mon ang mas importante ay yung magkasami kami ng asawa namin at na proprovidehan namin ang pamilya namin. Hindi yang bonggang proposal o kasal na yan. Hindi man eto same sa lahat ng ideya ng mga lalaki pero mostly ganito. 

This was one one of the most fucking nerve wrecking day of my life. Fck that removal exam fck my 2 hr sleep fck my aching eyes begging for sleep. I don't if my prof said was the truth I could not even see my own grade, just fcking give it to us my god. Yes i'm nervous everyone else is calm chill and collected and here I am frustrated and irritated as hell. IT KILLS ME TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE IN THIS PLACE. It was technically under my control and let it slip. Stupid me as hell

F*ck it, i'm sick and tired of your nonsense rants like c'mon when will it even end. Yes i'm not the best partner I know, but cut me some slack. I got no money and car. I got no tree in my room that I can simply get thousands of cash. Just think for a moment. I'm a fucking student all of my cash comes from my parents yes from time to time I get you gift and treat but like what the fuck. Stupid fucking sweet bones. For crying out loud just stop ranting I have my own fucking problem my whole life is a mess I don't know if I have to shift or not, i'm fcking stressed out and you can't even spend a day without ranting ! Fine find yourself a new partner that can give you everthing you want. I'm getting so annoyed. Besides you already did that before.

Just once, can you make my life easier? not bombard me with rants and problems but just give me care that I so long wished for? Help me go through my problems by not adding yours? Letting me 1st priority for once? C’mon it’s hard, it’s hard to focus on my problem and help you at the same time. It’s hard for me to focus on something knowing that you are not well, Yes it’s my choice to think about you, but I love you and I want you to be okay all the time . So just get on with it and say your problems so that I can focus on what I’m doing. Yes I am not able to do the things that I want to do because of your rants and because I know you will only hate me If I choose to do it. Responsibility? Not really I’m not responsible to be with you every second, well for you and ALL of your friends yes, but how can we grow, develop and help each other if we are together all the time, we cannot learn new things we cannot teach one another and more importantly WE WON’T HAVE ANYTHING to talk about since all experiences are done together, Yes I want to enjoy my fucking life yesterday but nope RESPONSIBILITY “air quotes” comes in and I have to be there blah blah

Bakit nga ba ganyan ang mga babae? Madalas talaga ang sarap ipadala sa mental eh, daig pa ang baliw sa ka abnormalan -_- literal na nakakaumay. Oo kayo na reyna ng pag papabebe at pagpapalambing at pag kami nag ganyan eh ngalngal at sigaw lang makukuha namin. Minsan naiintinidhan namin kayo at oo piangbibigyan pero wag niyo naman araw arawin nakakaumay kaya, Isipin niyo man lang kaya kami diba? Pwede ba yun? Pwede ba na kami naman iniisip niyo? Nararamdaman namin pinagdadaanan namin problema namin, wala naman kasi kayong pake jan. OO mas gusto ko yung girlfriend na possesive clingy pero lahat ng SOBRA mali, minsan nakakgago lang may mga girlfriend na porket usto ka makasama d ka papasamahin sa lakad niyo ng family? like WTF dude ano yun?  Mahal natin sila pero talagang saltik lang talaga sila sa totoo lang, Tapos pag sinabihan ng ganyan idedeny? ang labo diba ganyan ang girls 

TANGINA ANG SAKIT SAKTI. I NEED A REASONABLE EXPLANATION :( hindi ko matanggap na mag gaganito pa ako. KOTA AKO, KOTA AKO. SIR IBIGAY NIYO ANG COMPUTATION :( ANG SAKIT SAGAD :( SOBRA </3 

Pero mahirap nga nman mag sinungaling ng malala like that. Tanggapin mo nalang sepo PANGET ka, at wala kang sex appeal kahit 1%. 

Hi sa mga haters ng Party kanina, oh well hindi naman talag ma pleplease ang lahat kaya ganyan. Ewan ko ba sa inyo ganun eh H@H@ bahala kayo buhay niyo pero dama ko naman may mga nag enjoy at natuwa eh :3 kung d niyo trip wag na kayo umattend ha ! :D 

NAKAATUWA TANGIBA HAHAH :D TUWNAG TUWA AKO SA NAGAWA NAMIN. no offense sa naatendan kong JPIA night before pero FUCKING THE BEST. PARTY AND ALL Food is paid less than it’s worth wala parang okay talaga, nakakatuwa ang 1 day preparation hindi uber fail ! NAKAKATUWA :D PARTY PARTY PARTY TUGZ TUGZ TUGZ <33333

Hahaha nakaktuwa meyo achieved naman tapos hindi rin nag epic fail yung food, hindi rin nag epic fail yung cash. hahaha amsoo happy na din na natapos na ang pagiging officer namin. Pero amsoo sad din talaga kasi nga hindi na kami officer haha ewan ko ba. OO aminado naman ako napamahal na ako JPIA at big part na ito ng BUHAY ko, sana lang mapangalagaan ang pamilya at may mga nainsipire kame at nabigyan ng rason or purpose ang pagka BSA nila. Oo ayoko talaga ng BSA jusko wala akong keme jan at wala akong interes. Pero hindi ko rin mapagkakaila na napamhal na ako at nagustohan ko na ang kurso na ito. Dahil sa pagiging JPIA malalaki pasasalmat ko sa officers nugn 1st year ako at siguro kasama na din ang tadhana and will ni God kasi yun ang naging dahilan para maging JPIA IN HEART ako eh. Thank you sa lahat ng pumunta Thank you sa lahat ng Tumulong Thank you kay God at Thank you sa mga officers ko nung 1st year ako. Iloveyou JPIA