The Effeminare

Until I chose to live

This one’s from the archives. I drew this way back in 2013-14 I think, while I was struggling with fitting into an Engineering college, it simply didn’t seem right. It was stifling, and heart breaking to see myself struggle, and I don’t want to blame anyone for where I was. The blame-game never solves a problem anyway. Art and finding my identity became my topmost priority, as is for any 18 year…

I Feel Unsafe, and it Wasn’t Meant to be This Way

  From one of those carefree days in Delhi. Picture by: Savi  Back in 2009, I’d walked into Noida, a city that falls under the belt of National Capital Region or NCR, as we call it, with a pocket full of dreams and aspirations. I’d hoped that moving in to Noida from Kaniha, a small village in the outskirts of Talcher, Odisha would be my pathway to a better, happier life given the relatively…

| The one with the Sketches |

Some of my favorite pencil sketches from over two years ago, still feels like yesterday!

      Peace out.

Ugly Enough to be Mr. Gay World India

I don’t think I would’ve ever thought about writing an article about this, especially months after having been through the sort of Internet bullying I was subjected to, not that it made me feel any less fabulous about myself (mostly because I honestly don’t give a fuck). But I’m very well aware of what the general mentality of the entire gay community in our country is like and you might not…

To one incredible year of being Mr. Gay World India, 2016. The B/W pictures were shot in Malta, Europe during the pageant by Bradley Secker. You can find more of Bradley’s work here.    When I’d started off Effeminare back in 2014, (amidst all the resistance that there was) I believed that if I could reach out to even one individual, then that would be enough. I still can’t decipher what had…

    Nobody saw through how Mr. Gay World India and Mr. Gay World challenged traditional notions of beauty and gave everyone the right to feel beautiful about their selves. And why exactly should I feel any less pretty of the way I look? Because I didn’t fit into your stupid fucked up and limited notions of beauty? Or that you couldn’t come out of your virtual world of Grindr and Instagram filters? Come out of your little shell and let yourself be a part of the world of possibilities. Value yourself with the number of great books you’ve read over your WhatsApp texts, or the number of lives you could change for the better over the number of guys/girls you slept with (do it because you want to, not because you want to tell the world how cool your life is over theirs). You are perfect the way God made you and you don’t have to compare yourself with others (even though we’re all guilty of it). Interestingly, while I was being picked on for being way too ugly to represent India, my good friend Esteban, Mr. Gay Argentina 2016 was being picked on for being his muscular self and not being a representative of the average gay men across his country.

We live in a world today where body-image issues make up a huge part of our life, unfortunately, and that is a very dangerous world to live in. If I don’t judge you for the gazillion surgeries and implants you’ve got to achieve your perfect notion of beauty, please refrain from judging me from the surgeries I chose not to get done on myself. He made me beautiful. He made you beautiful. I am beautiful.

Peace out.

Why you need to learn to say No!

    I have been trying to get this out of my system for long now, but let’s just say it has been pretty difficult. In fact to put it in simple words, I’ve been scared to even talk about it, simply because it involves someone so influential and someone who I truly admired and we unfortunately don’t live in a world where we talk as much about men being sexually abused or touched inappropriately. I…

| Why we should all be Humanists |

  The recent attack on Pulse, a gay bar in Orlando has been immensely shocking and devastating and has been a huge jolt to the LGBTIQA community from the entire world. Enough speculations have been made on how the attacker was a closeted homosexual and had been a regular at Pulse himself. But the attack is a reminder of how we are falling short in making the world aware of our presence and why we…

Why you should talk about Sex and Sexuality with your Ma and Pa

Mum and Pa <3   I very clearly remember this one time my father, my sister and I were watching ‘Gladrags Supermodel Hunt’ on television  way back in 2003-04 or probably before that and they had a swimwear round. So they had all the men and women parading down the ramp in thongs and under-wears and there was suddenly a strange awkwardness in the room. My sister and I looked at each other and my…

A Gender And Sexuality Glossary For Parents

I’ve always felt that it is extremely important for people to be aware of the vocabulary that is appropriate to use when referring to the LGBTIQ community, more so amongst kids so as to ensure that tomorrow they grow up to become responsible, sensitive and mature citizens of the country. As a result I collaborated with Swaddle– a parenting website for people who don’t like parenting websites. You…

Because I have the most endearing and intelligent set of friends ever who have learned the skill of weaving words into such delightful pieces of art and you should not be missing out on these. Way to go Simran! <3

My favorite picture of the lot today. Had the honor to be shot by Ara Alexander. Wonder woman at its best! A little excerpt from what I’d written back in December while I was preparing for Mr Gay World India, and I’d asked myself “What if it doesn’t work that way?” and this came out of that: “The biggest problem with us is that we don’t let ourselves accept the fact that it can also happen the…

  The last couple of days have been extremely over-whelming with all the attention, love (mostly) and support I’ve received from the people around me and I will always be very grateful for every bit of it. This is going to be a completely self-introspective post and therefore parts of it might seem completely out of the blue, but I really feel like this is necessary and because it is something…