SWANSON'S GOT SWAGGER . . .

“I know I’m not supposed to be here . . . I don’t think I can do this alone.  I need you to come home, Cassie.  Please.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about the dinner?” “What?” “Your Mom basically tackled me in the hall to invite my Dad and I over before the dance.  Did you not know?” “No, no.  Of course.  I’ve just, you know, got so many . . . plates are spinning.” “I’m a little terrified by the social experiment of it all, but I think it’s good if our families get to know each other.   “I think it’s important for us.  You know?” “Yeah.”

"I read online that once you start shaving it starts growing back like crazy. Shave today, beard tomorrow."

"Hey, you ladies need cash envelopes or are you guys cool?" "I always need a cash envelope." "I'm sorry.  Envelopes for what?" "Well, at Italian wakes the mourners give the family a donation after they've viewed the deceased." "So, it's pay-per-view?"