This is me taking control for the first time ever. I can create my happiness and my life changing. Tonight I learned about avoidance and numbing and all the surrounding things that attributed towards those behaviors that come from ptsd. I have been holding myself back from experiencing a better quality of life my trauma created avoidance which in turn created numbness. By shoving down all my avoidances for so long all I did was supercharge them creating the numbness. I am also surprised to learn this is also attributed towards me having no friends. My ptsd and trauma created this avoidance and numbness which told my brain that it was better to not create connections and to not reach out in order to avoid being hurt again. This is a behavior I can change, there is recovery and methods that I can practice and utilize, and holy crap when I tell you this is something I’ve been waiting for for so long… when I put up walls to protect myself from all the bad things I didn’t want to get in.. I also stopped all the great things from coming in. The walls are down and I’m ready to start my life looking forward NOT looking back.
Positive affirmations for tonight:
I am taking care of myself
I put on clothes today that made me feel good
I am creating a better life for myself by no longer living in the past and self sabotaging my future.
I am a great lover
I am a great person
I am open to new things and do not have fear or anxiety towards them
I KNOW I can do this
I AM doing this
I am PROUD of myself
I love who I am becoming
