Do androids dream of doomsday?

tinder link in bio.

*tapes scissors to my dick* why won’t anyone fuck me, edward scissordick?

I love going trough the notes every time bc there’s always someone in the notes insisting we’re all mean and that you can just wear thick dish gloves over your fake nails as if I wouldn’t assume you’re going to Patrick Bateman my ass if you walked into the bedroom with claws and yellow rubber gloves

her pussy

OUTTA MY WAY IM BOUT TO GE- ouchie. Ouch. Ouchie.

"i like your tattoos" theyd look better on your bedroom floor

Babygirl I know fandom history that you wouldn’t even care about

i know fandom history that even I don’t care about

not photogenic but i probably look sooo good as a distant memory

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.

You can pinpoint the exact moment he turns to liquid

its cool how every language has wordplay.... we created language like ok step 1) convey info so we can stay alive 2) get silly with it

duuude is that a losing dog? *gets out my wallet*

i wish you could tell cats your food is poison. he seems to think the issue is i've forgotten that he is my kind and loving friend. the issue is Hospital