小丑面具

Just so you know, I loved you. All of you. It was exhausting.

I’m a mess of a person but I’m loyal and I’ll love you with everything I have.

Leaning into the women, he allowed them whisper into his ears. Chuckling he waved his hand at the other dismissively. “I can’t. I have to take responsibility! Their children need a dad, I can’t just leave them” He spoke loudly with a drunken nod, directing his attention back to them. “Go dance with that man you love or whatever…don’t cling to me”

And just like that he needed a drink. With a dark look Zhivko’s way he left his own partner stumbling as he stalked back to the bar. He ran a hand roughly through his hair as he asked for a beer. He slaps the won required down on the sticky wood and seated himself. Zhivko could drown in his own vomit for all he cared. But still, Geng found himself peeking glances back just to make sure the guy hadn’t done anything too stupid.

“Nope…I want to dance” The demon shook his head violently at being asked about water, stirring away from the other and heading to the center of the dance floor. Definitely something he’d never do if he was in his right mind. Definitely not. He wasn’t an amazing dancer but he was able to keep up with the general rhythm, dancing with a couple of girls almost as intoxicated as him.

“I know you do, but you--” he groaned and turned to follow. It’s his sober duty, after all. He let a girl lean against him, because while she might think they’re dancing, he knew that this odd, drunken swaying is far from it, to keep an eye on you. “Zhivko...” He called after a few songs. “Come dance with me instead.”

“Of course I know how to get home,” he replied indignantly. “And, and… my act is very much together. Very directed. You know? Directed towards it being a shit show where the man I love hates me and I drink more than I ever have in my whole life.” He leaned against the demon with a quiet whine, drinking in every bit of comfort through touch he can handle. He pressed his face into the other’s neck and shuffles forward until they’re pressed together on the street, unconcerned with who might see them. “I’ve been mugged before. But now I know how to use a knife! Godfrey helped me.”

Jealousy. Longing. Regret. He was indifferent to those the concept of those emotions, making it difficult to comfort those around him. Not that he was much of the caring type but every now and then after being around humans so long, it was inevitable. “If you really love him, I don’t think you should be embarrassing yourself in the street in like this” He noted removing their hands from him and stepping back, going back behind the and proceeding to guide them again. “Let’s just go home quietly alright? I’ll drop you off and we can see each other next time alright? I’ve go friend that may help me remove these” He referred to the wings that still hadn’t disappeared. “I’ll spend the night here, I think it would best if you sobered up by yourself”

Those words cut sharply. He swallowed and took a step to the side, away from the hands guiding him, so he could turn and face Sungjoon without being too close. "You think I'm embarrassing to be around? And now you don't even want to be around me?" His brows furrowed deeply. What was it about him that made people do this, made them want to leave, because he needed to fix it, he hated it, needed people to want to be around him. "Don't take your wings off. I like them," he replied with a faint smile. With that he turned and headed towards his apartment, still with a faint weave in his step, but more purposefully.