If looks could really kill

My dad just told me that when he was my age he tripped on acid a lot and every time he tripped he found the meaning of life but by the time he was sober he had forgotten it. So, he told himself that the next time he tripped he would write it down. So he tripped again, and went and wrote it down and when he woke up he was so excited to see everything that he wrote so he went and opened the notebook and all it said was “orange juice”.

|￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣| |   I love my friends a lot,  | |    I just suck at talking     | |     to them regularly        | |＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿|                       (\__/) ||                       (•ㅅ•) ||                       / 　 づ 

my brother is teaching his cat how to high five by giving her a treat every time she successfully taps her hand to his hand, which is all well and good, but now she thinks that she is entitled to food every time she high fives someone.  i can’t eat in the same room as her anymore because she’ll just bap my hand rapid fire and then go nyoom straight in for my pizza like no Kelly that’s illegal go finish ur own dinner

“No Kelly, that’s illegal.”

Cats

Pavlov is rolling over laughing in his grave.

you ever think a post is going to be like, surprise! It was the plot of a movie the whole time! And then reality is just actually that wild. Wild.