Hannah

it’s so difficult not being able to use milennial humor in a corporate setting. like i made a mistake today and i wanted to tell my supervisor it’s because i suffer from Dumb Bitch Disease, but do you think that would fly?? fuck no. i gotta say shit like, “sorry for the misunderstanding!” i can’t wait till the workforce is made up entirely of millennials and i can say “sorry i drank idiot juice for breakfast this morning” and my coworkers will be like “oh worm.”

why is this a screenshot

The original post will kill if you look at it directly

If i have to die to find out why they can’t be together than so be it

sorry i’m late, professor. i’m disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis

straight men’s only personality traits are saying “I have a really dark sense of humor” and showing you racist memes on their phone

i don’t like this……

viciously and fatally attacked by an unknown animal at Claire’s

that was no animal, that was Claire herself

the claire witch project

in case you guys wanna know what modern high school dances are like, at mine despacito came on and everyone t-posed around this one kid as he fortnite danced like his life depended on it

That’s about as Halloween as it gets….

how do you make someone holy

you beat the hell out of them

my 96 year old catholic grandma told me this

but everything comes at a price son of a bitch looks like a dick

Guys you don’t know the half it. Tardigrades, or waterbears, (or moss piglets, how cute is that?) are the coolest things in the entire world. They pretty much live everywhere on earth, and all they do is amble around drinking water. But if their life is in danger, they shrivel up into this little raisin thing and they can survive practically anything. There was a piece of moss sitting dry in a museum for a century. Some scientists wetted the moss, and they woke back up. Just started drinking the water again. They have survived as near to absolute zero as science has allowed us to get. They’ve woken up after being subjected to hundreds of times the radiation lethal to humans, even though they are about 3 millimeters in length on average. NASA sent them into orbit and they were released into the vacuum of space for ten days. They woke up. So what does this mean? Scientists believe this may help to prove the existence of live elsewhere in the universe, and how life came to Earth. If there are creatures that can survive the emptiness of space, who’s to say an asteroid didn’t carry some from one planet to ours?

but everything comes at a price son of a bitch looks like a dick

you looking inside the pussy with your eyes? you crawling in there like antman?