Bruh

wth

I went on a blind date with her a few years ago. After my initial shock at her condition wore off, we hit it off and started having a great time. One thing led to another, and things started getting pretty heated, but I didn’t know how to proceed. It was a nice warm night, so she suggested we visit a tree she knew about that fit her very well. I put her in the tree, removed her clothing and we had great sex got over an hour; she wore me out! We had lost track of time, and it was very late; I hastily put her clothes partially on her and rushed her home (she lived with her parents). As I wheeled her onto the porch, the door flew open and her father was standing there, looking at his partially-clad daughter with a shocked expression on his face. As I stammered out a lame excuse, he began to weep, eventually hugging me to him and patting me on the back and thanking me as he sobbed. I was stunned, until he whispered in my ear; “The last guy LEFT HER HANGING IN THE TREE!”

Nowhere else on the net can I get this shit.

Nowhere else has the guts to say anything.

What the fuck

I have a wild ass comment that I'm going to keep to myself (mostly) but if definitely seen a disabled shorty with the wobbly legs ride dick into the sunset. They be fucking FUCKING

I can’t believe there’s an even wilder development to this I want to scream

none of us will see heaven

What the fuck?

Def woulda been carrying shawty around in one of those baby carries if she threw dat limbless neck my way...

It’s an art form

shut up bitch. you wear a hat to bed and you carry a candle around on a little plate.

No one needs to know. Just do your thing and be content.

It's still insane to me that there are dozens if not hundreds of teams working separately to develop the vaccine because of bullshit involved in medical patents and the hopes of pharmaceutical firms to get 10 metric fuckloads of money from making the first vaccine rather than having cooperation to speed up development and prevent redundancies. But what do I know, I'm just a stinky doodoo commie

“I should’ve been motherfuckin’ Black Mamba.”

IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE FRED & DAPHNE

FUCK YOU AND YOUR BITTER JEALOUS LONELINESS HOWARD STERN

YES SO GOOD!!!!!

I’m still proud of the fact that a couple of years ago, I tweeted to Sarah Michelle Gellar and asked if Stern had paid up on his bet. To my great surprise, she actually replied and said he hadn’t and he owed them money. 😂😂