anyone else going about their life missing everything all the time

google search how to cough up the ball of grief that's been stuck in your stomach since birth

i am a perfectly nonchalant person. except on days where i crave love. then i choke up and go insane and begin howling at the moon

what if i *remembers that making suicide jokes is not conducive with my goal of improving the wellbeing of myself and everyone around me* transform into an oyster

reminder that you were a child. its not your fault, even if it seems like it might be.

Having an emotionally absent but otherwise present father is fun stuff because you live with an unknown man your whole life and are supposed to put up with his shit AND love him like ex-fucking-cuse me