Atychiphobia

Friends can break your heart too

1 thing i CANT STAND: no closure. I need to know how you feel so i can have an idea on how things will play out. It eats me alive literally

How many flashbacks do I have to go through to get over you? How many 11:11 wishes do I need so I can move on from you? When will I get you out of my head? You hurt me and I said ‘sorry,’ why? You were my first, my one and only. There’s a constant battle in my head because of you.  I gave you everything. My time. My energy. My efforts. My everything. But what did you give in return? Harsh words that broke my heart. Is that what I get in return for everything I’ve done for you? I guess so. You broke me and ruined my life that it changed my whole life.  But I still forgave you. Why is that?

Today I learnt that some people just don’t get better, And maybe it’s the alcohol speaking bullshit but maybe that’s even more of a reason to believe it, Because the only time I can ever speak the truth is when I’m 2 glasses past thinking straight, And my sister told me tonight that the only reason she doesn’t cut her skin to shreds anymore is because she can’t hide it as well as she use to, 25 years old and she’s still stuck in the same self destructing mindset she developed when she was 15, 15; the age I am now, drinking away my problems and praying to fucking god I won’t end up like her, Because she never got better, she just got better at hiding the pain, And maybe that’s the same for everyone.