* --- TILNEY

i am gonna make it through this year if it kills me.

people say friends don’t destroy one another. what do they know about friends?

woke up afraid of my own shadow. like genuinely afraid.

headed for the pawnshop to buy myself a switchblade.

i feel guilty but i can’t feel ashamed.

it’s okay to find the faith to saunter forward.

lord send me a mechanic if i’m not beyond repair.

there’s bound to be a ghost at the back of your closet no matter where you live.

there’s gonna come a day when you feel better.

i’m gonna bribe the officials, i’m gonna kill all the judges.

it’s gonna take you people years to recover from all of the damage.

our friends say it’s darkest before the sun rises, we’re pretty sure they’re all wrong.

i hope when you think of me years down the line you can’t find one good thing to say.

i hope that if i found the strength to walk out you’d stay the hell out of my way.

i am drowning, there is no sign of land.

you are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

i hope you die. i hope we both die.

cling to my convictions even when i get hurt.

but i’ve tried the losing side, i don’t wanna die in here.

you found my breaking point. congratulations.

spent too much of my life now trying to play fair.

i’m walking out of here in one piece, don’t care what comes after.

do every stupid thing that makes you feel alive.

some things you do just to see how bad they’ll make you feel.

some people crash two or three times and then learn from their mistakes.

mistreat your altar boys long enough and this is what you get.

a tiger’s never going to change its stripes.

too long i’ve let my self respect stand in my way.

you can stand up, you can run. you and i both know what you’ve done.

i will carry you home in my teeth.

spat out my morning prayers. desperate pleas and vicious lies.

there are no pan-asian supermarkets down in hell.

feast when you can, and dream when there's nothing to feast on.

the most remarkable thing about coming home to you is the feeling of being in motion again.

i am not this body that imprisons me.

look hard at my stripes, there’ll be no more after me.

sing for the damage we’ve done and the worse things that we’ll do.

i know you’d kill me if you could stand the sight of blood.

i can see the future, it’s a real dark place.

i’m doing this for revenge.

john rambo never went to vietnam.

i am healthy, i am whole. but i have poor impulse control.

i wanna go home, but i am home.

i’m going to get my perfect body back someday.

if not by faith then by the sword i’m going to be restored.

and i can't think of one thing in this whole wide blessed world that's more dangerous and frightening than you when you get bored.

i am coming home to you with my own blood in my mouth.

i am coming home to you if it’s the last thing that i do.

you’re the last best thing i’ve got going.

so i follow you down your twisting alleyways, find a few cul-de-sacs of my own.

there’s only one place this road ever ends up and i don’t wanna die alone.

wake up sixty minutes after my head hits the pillow. i can’t live like this.

believe in your heart and confess with your lips. surely you will be saved one day.

wait as long as i have to for good news.

a kind and loving god won’t let my small ship run aground.

no one hopes to hear the bagman call.

no friends closer than the ones we lost.

no greater love than to lay my life down for a friend.

look high: it’s my last hope!

i need justice in my life, here it comes.

i’ve been told it’s real sweet to grow old.

i don’t mean it when i tell you “i don’t love you anymore”.

what’ll i do when i don’t have you? when i finally get what i deserve?

you can’t give me back what you’ve taken. but you can give me something that’s almost as good.

look at the person i’ve turned into. tell me, how do you like him now?

i am right where you want me. do what you brought me out here for.

you can arm me to the teeth, you can’t make me go to war.

i’m under no illusion as to what i meant to you.