How to be a Man

“Men, take your masks off. Men, take responsibility. Men, open your mouths wider, show more than your teeth. There is a softness in your throat waiting to be freed. Men, we are responsible for the vast majority of violence. Men it’s an epidemic. Men, don’t think that it has to be this way. … Men, put your masks down. Men, let’s look each other in the eyes. Men, let’s talk.”

Martin Gagner, 35, administrator at Malmö University Martin Gagner is on parental leave for about six months with Matilda, 4, and Valdemar, 1. “I feel guilty about not having been at home with Matilda as much as I am now with Valdemar. I worry that my relationship with her will be weaker in the future since I worked during the start of her life and I think that as a parent, it is important to participate in the beginning.” – Martin Gagner All Images are © Johan Bävman

Johan Ekengård, 38, product developer at Sandvik Johan Ekengård and his partner share parental leave equally for their children Ebbe, 7, Tyra, 5, and Stina, 1. Both took nine months of parental leave with each child. “The financial loss with me taking parental leave is worth every krona. I have gained confidence as a dad to my kids, understanding for my partner, and stronger ties to my children that, as I see it, are important for their growing up.” – Johan Ekengård All Images are © Johan Bävman

Ingemar Olsén, 37, IT consultant Ingemar Olsén is currently on parental leave for nine months with his 1-year-old son Linus. He was previously on leave for nine months with his other son, Joel, who is now four years old. “For me it was easy decision to take parental leave. Although my workplace is very male-dominated, my employer values family life and encouraged me to take parental leave. Being a good parent is also about dealing with the chores and challenges of daily life. Parental leave has given me a lot of happiness and a better understanding of my children’s needs.” – Ingemar Olsén All Images are © Johan Bävman

Samad Kohigoltapeh, 32, construction engineer Samad Kohigoltapeh is on joint leave for the first four months, and thereafter will spend six months on his own with his twins Parisa and Leia, who are 1 week old. “When you decide to bring two new individuals into this world you also have to take on the responsibility to raise them throughout their lives. I had to argue with my partner to get my months with the children but I think it is important for them to have a present father early on in their lives.” – Samad Kohigoltapeh All Images are © Johan Bävman

Ola Larsson, 41, purchaser Ola Larsson is currently on leave with his son Gustav for eight months. “The state needs to become better at providing information regarding the advantages that parental leave gives both parents. It is a true gift to be allowed to create such strong emotional ties to your child. You almost have to experience parental leave to understand what you lose before you decide to work instead.” – Ola Larsson All Images are © Johan Bävman

Loui Kuhlau, 28, artist Loui Kuhlau is on leave for one year with his son Elling. “There was never any discussion about who should stay at home with Elling. It was obvious to my partner and I that we would split parental leave equally. Had I not had the opportunity to be at home with our son for almost a year, I would probably not have known who he is as a person and what his needs are. Even though it is a full-time job, I have a hard time understanding why you would not want to be at home with your kid.” – Loui Kuhlau All Images are © Johan Bävman

Marcus Bergqvist, 33, construction engineer Marcus Bergqvist is currently on parental leave with his oldest son Ted for six months and youngest son Sigge for eight months. “As a mother I think you grow into parenthood during pregnancy; for fathers, it all happens very suddenly at childbirth. I wonder if my son Sigge would have come to me when he was sad and needed comforting had his mother and I not shared our leave days. With our second child I tried to be more present, said no to things I thought I would not be able to handle while on leave, and lowered my own demands on myself as a parent.” – Marcus Bergqvist All Images are © Johan Bävman

Tjeerd van Waijenburg, 34, product developer at Ikea Tjeerd van Waijenburg is on leave with his son Tim for 1 year and 4 months. “In my job at Ikea they encourage me to take time off to be with Tim, which feels good. I am considering reducing my working week in order to spend more time with him during his first years. It is a shame that more dads do not see the advantages of the egalitarian system promoted by the Swedish state.” – Tjeerd van Waijenburg All Images are © Johan Bävman

Jonas Feldt, 31, job centre administrator Jonas Feldt is currently on parental leave for a year with 1-year-old daughter Siri. He was previously on leave for nine months with his daughter Lovis, who is now 3 years old. “It was a wake-up call to read about a survey by the youth magazine Kamratposten expressing that most children turn to their mum when they are upset, seeking comfort or just need someone to talk to. Second to the mother came a relative, then a sibling, then someone at school, and only a long way down came dad. I want my kids to feel just as safe with me as with their mum, and that bond is something I’ll build during my parental leave. I don’t just want to be the fun parent.” – Jonas Feldt All Images are © Johan Bävman

Urban North, 32, infrastructure consultant Urban North is on leave for 10 months with his son Holger. “My wife and I try to be as equal as possible in our everyday life. Our son Holger was diaper-free at the age of 4 months, something we both worked really hard on during the first months, and which I am very proud of today. My day consists of cooking and playing with my son.” – Urban North All Images are © Johan Bävman

Marcus Pranter, 29, wine salesman Marcus Pranter is on parental leave for eight months with his son. “I think the regulations are silly. You should only take parental leave if you want to, not because the government tells you to. My partner and I are equal parents to our son and therefore we should share the responsibility for his upbringing. The longer you wait with taking parental leave, the more difficult it will be to bond with your child as it is easier for children to accept new things and create ties at an early age.” – Marcus Pranter All Images are © Johan Bävman

Juan Cardenal, 34, industrial-design student Juan Cardenal was on parental leave for 18 months, nine with Ivo, 1, and nine with Alma, 4. “I am eternally grateful for having been able to be on leave for such a long time. Parental leave changed the way I look at life: It created a change in pace and I had time to reflect on things. During the second parental leave I had the opportunity to change my career and at the same time I got to see my kids learn how to walk, talk, and eat.” – Juan Cardenal All Images are © Johan Bävman

Michael Winblad, 35, self-employed Michael Winblad is on leave part- time for 9 months with his children Matisse, 2, and Vivianne, 5 months. “I struggle to get a good relationship with my children. Therefore, parental leave in the beginning is important to me and I have been lucky to have a wife who can cover for me when I had to work.” – Michael Winblad All Images are © Johan Bävman

Göran Sevelin, 27, student Göran Sevelin is currently on a ten-month study leave to look after his daughter Liv. “The baby sling is a substitute for the closeness between a mother and child during breastfeeding. I think it’s important to share the responsibility of staying at home with your children, even if you lose out financially. We have less money because I stay at home, but at the same time I will have more time to bond with my daughter and that is what is most important for our future together.” – Göran Sevelin All Images are © Johan Bävman

http://girltalkhq.com/jimmy-carter-dedicating-the-rest-of-his-life-fighting-for-womens-rights

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPcTB86aT0Y&feature=youtu.be