h e a r t m a t t e r

What if being made broken is the first step to healing?

The soul hardly ever realizes it, but whether he is a believer or not, his loneliness is really a homesickness for God.

Don’t fall in love with your sadness. Let it be something you kick out in the morning.

Whenever your heart starts to be anxious about the future, preach to your heart and say, ‘Heart, who do you think you are to be afraid of the future and nullify the promise of God? No, heart, I will not exalt myself with anxiety. I will humble myself in peace and joy as I trust this precious and great promise of God - he cares for me.’

I will not think less of myself just because you do not know how to love me.

What no one tells you is that the most exhausting thing to do is to live with a broken heart. Because heart that has been broken and bruised, weighs heavier than anything else in this world. It carries all the pieces of the broken dreams and hopes that have been let go. It carries all the tears and sleepless nights, the questions and the shame. What no one tells you is that broken hearts are the most beautiful ones. Broken hearts can become anything: brave, bold, soft, kind, gentle, loving, wise. Broken hearts can be all that because they know pain, because they have walked on shattered pieces of a life but still held on.

Take courage my child, I am not finished with you yet.

My heart has been broken in so many different ways, from so many different things. I spent so long in the darkness that I couldn’t see that I was already being walked out of my pain–that I was growing, that I was being planted and being made firm so that I could soon be bursting at the seams. The only way out is through, and there is surely light at the end of the tunnel. Enough, enough now; I am done with all this pain, this anger, this sadness. I was set on fire then reduced to ashes, but it is from the ashes that there is a new birth and a new beginning. One that is pure, full of life, full of hope that will not fail. I am done being broken. I am ready to heal; I am ready to rise. I am ready to be whole again.

I beg you, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.