‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾it had been a suggestion for the girl who is going through the signature step in life that teenagers go through. rapid hormone changes and volatile emotions. hyemin thinks she’s relatively calm compared to the tempest which some of her classmates have been presenting, but there had been a suggestion from her doctor to go see someone else just in case. especially with the veiled understanding that as time goes on and she grows up, there will only be more differences between her and her fellow companions. a life of imparity.

but the girl isn’t sure how this will play itself out. she’s never been someone to talk about her inner feelings, rarely to her own siblings. they’re written out in clusters of poem and short stories, that’s the best outlet she has. if not that, it’s a mention to the doctor - but it is that mention which has led her to where she is now this time around.

a hesitant knock on the office door. in her mind she counts the seconds slowly in order to calm herself down, all the while hyemin wonders what she should say. maybe an introduction would suffice, or maybe she should simply get straight to the point. she could do both. but she doesn’t even know who will be greeting her.

it’s a male. it only takes an instant for cheeks to turn a slight shade of pink as she quickly bows. ❛ hi uh… i’m ahn hyemin. and i’m here for my appointment. ❜☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⊶ play a tune for @hrjungjin

It’s common routine for him to get some information about his patients before he meets them for the first time. Sometimes it will be some notes from a doctor transferred to him as they recommend someone, other times it’s the secretary of the office that brings him the surveys they require new patients to fill. So, he knows the name of the girl who is supposed to be his next appointment and he knows her age too, but he has to admit that he is curious. She is young and while young patients are not unheard of, it always tugs at his heartstrings. He wishes that they didn’t have to come see him.

He smiles as he always does when he finally sees her. It’s a warm smile, open, non-threatening. He motions for her to come inside and quietly closes the door behind her. “You can sit wherever you feel most comfortable,” he tells her and he stays up as he waits for her to decide. His office is not exactly small, but it’s not awfully spacious either. He didn’t want the room to feel stuffy, but he also didn’t want his patients to feel like it was to impersonal and cold. It’s decorated with a few green plants, and there’s a folded blanket on the couch, for the people who need it.

@hrxwoo

It had been a while since they had had the occasion to hang out. Of course, it had been hard to do that when they had been living in different countries, but now that Woo had moved here, they had no excuse to not hang out. They had made plans and that was the reason why Jungjin was currently getting ready to go out. They had decided to go karaoke and he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had went out to do that. He looked at the clothes in his wardrobe, at all dressier pants and shirts he liked to wear for work. Oh he had more casual wear too, but it was all so muted in terms of colors. It was just how he liked it, but it somehow felt…not lively enough for karaoke. Or maybe he was thinking too much?

It was not like Woo was going to judge him. He eventually settled for one of his most worn pair of jeans, the denim now super soft because of the years. He paired it with a simple black t-shirt because if he got too much into singing and moving around, he didn’t want to feel too hot, but he still put on a cardigan to not be too cold. It was still relatively cold outside after all. After grabbing his keys and his wallet, he went to put on his coat and left the house so he could catch the bus that would take him to the karaoke place.

          A BREAK AWAY FROM THE SMALL CITY, while one usually travels somewhere even quieter for a breath of fresh air, the boy and his older brother have a different plan in mind. they head west towards the capital city with a brief few days of vacation in mind. there’s a lot to do when it comes to a sparkling metropolis, without enough time to fit everything in. but there will always be room for the two of them to return - as they have done so previously and as they will do so in the coming future.

❝  –  there’s so many bunnies! ❞ the name montmartre park had veiled the true charm of the little area where clusters of assorted colours of rabbits bounding around the area. none seemed too interested in the surrounding people, simply minding their own business - he dare says that some were even purposely pausing for polaroid photos but that may be a projection of his own thoughts onto them. there had been one which had nibbled on his shoes though, for that he had been more than grateful.

❝  –  it’s amazing how they aren’t scared of us. don’t you think so hyung? i guess they’re too spoiled by humans by now,❞  cognac irises had briefly gazed up at the person he’s speaking to in question, but attention then quickly diverts itself back down to a spotted rabbit leaping ever the closer to him. ❝  – i really should have brought some food for them if i had known. ❞

Now that he was working, it was more complicated to free his schedule so he could take some vacations with his brother, but this had thankfully been planned. Not the destination itself, but rather the week they had picked to go away. Even though they still saw each other at home, Jungjin felt like this was probably going to be one of the last opportunities they would have to fully spend time together before each of them would end up with the whirlwind of duties demanding their time and attention. He didn’t even know if their daily dinner would survive their respective schedules.

The suggestion to go to the park had come from Junjae, and Jungjin was never one to refuse spending time outside. He liked being outside and the promise of bunnies had only settled everything. There was no way he was going to miss out on this. He was glad that they have decided to come here because the park was truly beautiful and when they ended up seeing the bunnies, well, he was glad to have brought one of his cameras with him. He immediately snapped a picture and then another when one of the bunnies had taken a grand interest in Junjae’s shoe.

A flashback with : @hrjungjin·

      Duckie was convinced this was a good idea - moving from the home he’d known since he was a wee thing, to forget the heartache that overcame him. It was something his parents were worried about, of course, sending their son on his own while he was at a low point, but Duckie was eager to see where his parents came from. And doubly eager to see his penpal again - they were still writing to each other back and forth long after Duckie’s parents expected that he’d give up. 

They met face to face when he was about 12,  but now, 5 years later while he was going to meet with him at the park, he wasn’t sure if Jungjin would recognize him. He slimmed down quite a bit since the last time the pair met, but was probably just as unkempt now than he was then. But Duckie recognized the other right away. “Hyung, over here!” He wasn’t sure how comfortable the word fit in his mouth - he wasn’t used to honorifics but he didn’t want to be disrespectful.

It had been so many years since he had started sending letters to a boy named Mason who had eventually asked him to call him Duckie. He doesn’t remember what his 8 years old self had expected, whether he had hoped it would last as it had, or whether he had worried the other boy would find him uninteresting. It had all started from a school project after all. And he saw how eventually his classmates stopped sending or receiving letters, but not him. It continued, even after he moved to England, and even after he ended up meeting the other boy for the first time.

And now here they were again, supposed to meet and spend some time together before Jungjin would have to return to Korea for his military service. Two whole years away from his family, his younger brother, his friends. He was not looking forward to it. But now was not the time to dwell on that. He smiled when he heard a call of ‘hyung’ and he turned in direction of the voice, making his way over to where his friend was. It felt strange to be called Hyung by someone who was not his younger brother since no one other than him ever called him that. Well, him and Duckie.

[...]

❝  –  you are right…you have a good point hyung, ❞  junjae says eventually. he closes his eyes, leaning back against the couch. his hands find their way to the back of his head to rest against it. silence falls again as the child works at the clockworks of his mind. he is finding which gear to connect with which.

❝  –  if i do something i enjoy doing…and also help others at the same time that’s how i succeed. that would make everyone around me happy and myself too right? the best situation, ❞  the ideal situation. but this isn’t a world about being ideal, about striving for the top even if that is what is often repeated by every single senior year high school student all the way until the end of application. ❝  –  well! this little sunshine’s going to think everything over again then. which university to go to too…hyung what do you suggest? i know kate will have higher fees than hai but it’s more for technology. ❞  

“Just don’t think too much about it just yet. Focus on what you would like to study at university first. The rest? That can come later,” he said because he didn’t want his brother to start stressing over how he can help people while doing something he loves. Jungjin himself had not known what he really wanted to study at university until he was done with his two years of military service. He had had some options during high school, but nothing had been set in stone.

“Well,” he started after Junjae asked him his opinion about universities, “Kate would be a really good choice to pursue your studies in computer science I think. You could also try to apply to universities outside of Korea if you’d like. You don’t have to worry about the fees. I’ve got some money set aside that’s meant for your education and we can always look if you qualify for scholarships and things like that.”

He reaches out for his mug of tea then and takes a sip, only to grimace because it had become cold. “I’m gonna go heat this up, would you like some as well?” he asked, pointing at his mug and standing up even though he would have preferred to stay pressed against his brother, if only for the added warmth he had been providing. He was already missing it. He waited for his brother’s reply before making his way toward the kitchen.

        「 feat. @hrjungjin 」

if anyone were to ask blaqk his favorite moments at the ripe age of twenty-four, never would he have thought his answer to be his therapy sessions. however, they were his welcomed breaks; a guaranteed hour off each week, if his schedule allowed. often, he would use the time to nap or catch up on the movies or television shows currently saturating pop culture; often, also dragging jungjin to join him. 

every now and again, blaqk felt guilty over using his therapist’s time to mess around instead of what he was actually paid to do. some days he would discuss the ongoings of his life but truthfully, he never felt he had anything to complain about. he was making music, their fanbase was strong, and money was never wanting. he had everything he could need. at this moment, nothing was out of sorts and so, once again, blaqk was strolling into the man’s office and making himself at home. already setting up his laptop, he asked, “have you seen this show yet? kingdom? it’s royalty and zombies. the perfect set up for a good time.”

Most clients who came to see him were in serious need of help. They needed someone to help them with their fears, with the source of their anxiety and Jungjin was one of the persons who could do that. Some had a fear of sharks and others were terrified to go out in public to the point that just showing up at their appointment already required a lot of effort from them.

And then there was Blaqk. He was truly one of a kind. Jungjin could say with confidence that he didn’t have another client like him. The first time he had met him and had been told the other wasn’t there for therapy, he had been surprised, but Jungjin was quite laid-back and he had rapidly adapted to the situation. If Blaqk wanted to come to his office to escape for an hour, then so be it. As long as Jungjin was getting paid, he didn’t mind.

Of course in the beginning he had asked Blaqk questions and tried to figure out why he had decided to come see a psychologist, but it didn’t take long to realize that the other wasn’t here for an anxiety disorder. And yet, he hadn’t stopped him from coming back. He looked up from his desk when his client waltzed into his office and he smiled, leaning back against his chair.

 [...]

❝   – i’m definitely going to university so you don’t have to worry about that hyung,  ❞   with confidence and assurance comes his usual smile. but it also falters when he finally reaches the core of his problem. the thing keeping him up these days even though he should be enjoying the last few days of his high school life before he crossed over the page to another chapter. 

❝     – but i no longer know what i want to study. i always said i’d take psychology like you but…this past year i’ve been helping a lot of people with their computer science courses. and now i’m thinking because you always said i should go do something related to computers if maybe that is it? since…it does make me happy. but…i still want to do something like you too. helping people.  ❞ 

Oh, so this was what was going on. He could feel the corners of his mouth curling up and soon he was letting out a bark of laughter in relief. Finally, he thought, finally his brother had seen what he had been trying to make him see during all those past months. Of course, he wouldn’t have stopped Junjae from choosing psychology if that’s what he had decided he wanted, but this doubt would have always remained in his mind, about whether his brother was choosing that because he really wanted to, or because he wanted to do like him. He briefly rested his head back against the couch so he could gather his thoughts.

“Okay”, he says after a moment, and he looks back at Junjae and smiles reassuringly at him before patting his thigh just a little above his knee. “Jae, there are a lot of different ways you can help people in this world. Depending on what you want to do with your computer science degree, if you decide to choose that as your major in university, you could help fight cybercrime, help protect data of different companies, and if you decide to do something related to videogames with your degree, that’s totally okay too.”

“no problem,” jinhee returned his smile, glad to be able to do him a service this once. it was the least she could do, after all, for all his help with her anxiety issues. she’d come a long way since before she started seeing him, and she couldn’t be more thankful for it. “i figured you could use a warm drink, what with the weather being so cold nowadays.” she took a seat, watching as he blew over his mug of tea.

the next thing that came out of the psychologist’s mouth caught her slightly off-guard. she’d been expecting the usual, ‘how have you been doing?’ or ‘how is work?’, and instead received a different question altogether. she thought it was a nice change from the usual, however. “i’ve been trying out ice-skating, actually,” jinhee replied, laughing a little at the memory of her first time on ice. “i was so stiff, i fell over so many times. lucky for me, though, there was someone kind enough to help me through it. she’s been teaching me pretty regularly now.” she paused, before continuing, “i’m making progress. i’ve graduated from being overly-dependent on the railing, anyway.” she cast a curious glance towards jungjin. “have you tried it? i’d recommend it. it’s a challenge for sure, but it’s fun once you get the hang of it. i think. i’m not quite there yet.”

“You figured well. This cold is not good for my old bones,” he joked because he was still young, but sometimes he sure felt like he was older than his years. He couldn’t wait to finally take a sip and warm himself up from the inside. It was better from the outside now that he had found solace inside and was protected from the biting cold. But he still waited a little before doing that, instead listening to Jinhee and her suggestion.

“That sounds wonderful Jinhee. I am sure you must have been having a lot of fun,” he told her sincerely. The fact that she was trying something new and having someone to help her, and that she returned and kept going, that was really good. “Me? I can’t say I have taken the time to go skating lately. It’s a shame really, because I quite enjoy it. Are you planning to learn how to do spins?” he asked before finally taking a sip of his tea and humming softly when it went down his throat. “This is delicious,” he couldn’t help but point out, looking curiously at his mug before bringing it to his lips again.

Jungjin loved blankets. He always found there was something incredibly comforting about them and he was certain he was not the only one who had this sentiment. There was always one, neatly folded, resting over the back of each couch. Then there was a really soft one at the foot of his bed, and there were more in the closets for the colder months. He also loved knitting them. He was just about done with the one he had been working on for weeks. It was a beautiful mix of navy blue and shades of gray. He was quite proud of how it hard turned out.

He looks up when he hears Junjae’s voice and the corner of his mouth curls up. “That’s because it is. I was thinking of putting it on my bed,” he says just as he finishes his last row. He sets his needles aside and stands up from the couch so that he can hold out the blanket in front of him. Yes, it had been worth the effort, he thinks as he looks it over. “Should we see if it’s warm enough?” he asks then as he moves to put half of the blanket around his brother, before sitting back down on the couch next to him and wrapping the other half around himself. There’s enough left of the blanket to throw over their legs.