House de Aubemarle

You have been visited by the Emmanellain of Encouragement!

This is your reminder that the future holds so much promise. So much joy. May this Emmanellain of Encouragement help you find your way to it.

Pale Blue Afternoon Dress

c. 1867

Silk taffeta and silk faille

Label: Worth & Bobergh / 7. Rue de la Paix 7 Paris

HELLO you are asking questions that literature and poetry THROUGHOUT the middle ages has asked, and it is from this questioning that we derive things like the Codes of Chivalry (which is not "how to treat a noble lady really nice" but is actually "how to be an ethical person when you're rich and you own a horse" and includes such things as "don't run people over with your horse")

In fact I daresay you already know instinctively just from cultural osmosis what a good boss -- a good liege lord -- is and does based on the tropes that have survived to the current day and the kinds of things that get Hugely Praised in things like legends of King Arthur.

A good boss (liege lord) is:

Merciful. He is not having his peasants killed for things like poaching rabbits during a famine. In fact, he is working to mitigate famine. During times of individual hardship, he might negotiate with a peasant for a payment plan on their annual rent.

Patient. He is not impulsive, he does not lose his temper.

Prudent. He makes choices that are thoughtful, considered, conservative (in the sense of not needlessly risky--he's not investing his entire fortune in having everyone plant an unproven crop). He is making sure local infrastructure like roads and public buildings are maintained and kept in good nick.

Gentle. He doesn't haul off and slap a servant or a tenant for breaking a dish or making a mistake. He doesn't abuse animals, his wife or children, or his employees. He doesn't rape the servants.

Generous (both in money and in spirit). He is not extorting the peasants for an amount of rent that is beyond their means, he is not raising taxes every year to cover his own lavish lifestyle. He is paying his servants a living wage (or, if wages are low, he's giving them room/board/clothing to make up the difference). If someone in a tenant's family dies, the lord is sending a gift of condolence, or helping to pay for the funeral, or possibly even ATTENDING the funeral and speaking a few kind words about the deceased, ESPECIALLY if they were a really upstanding and important member of the community. If one of his tenants is gravely sick, the lord is sending a basket of food or paying for a doctor. He is giving charitably (generally this will be, like, a bequest to the church so that they can run a hospital or an orphanage or a school for the local village children).

Pious. This classically means "goes to church, submits with humility to God" but to me this quality is subtextually standing in for "maintaining an ongoing sense of Perspective that HE'S not god, that there are higher powers he is Accountable to, that he too can be Judged, etc, so that he doesn't end up going on a weird fucked up power trip"

Humble. One of the most admiring things you hear about a lord doing in literature and epic poetry is, "He ate off of wooden plates while his followers ate off of gold and silver." Humility isn't about being meek, it's just about not thinking so much of yourself that you turn your nose up and sneer at what "lesser" people do. In other words: Don't be a fucking diva. If your carriage gets stuck in the mud, climb out and help everybody else push, you're not gonna die from getting mud on your shoes.

Condescending. This word has changed wildly in meaning/tone over the last couple centuries -- it's now a rude thing to do (because we've done away with legal social hierarchies, so someone acting like they're lowering themselves to your level IS insulting), but in older times, a high-ranking person "condescending" to a servant was worthy of praise and admiration: it means they were setting aside rank and privilege to speak to them with the easygoing, friendly respect and compassion they'd give a peer. This is things like... Treats those beneath him with courtesy and respect (ie: listens soberly and attentively when one of his servants or tenants comes to complain about a problem). Having a sense of humor and kindness about it when the lord and a servant both come around a corner at the same time and run into each other and the servant gets knocked to the ground and starts babbling apologies--the condescending (positive) lord helps them to their feet with his own hands and cracks a joke to show them that it's ok (as opposed to just walking off without a word or insulting/scolding them). This is also things like trusting a farmer, woodcutter, or artisan to speak with expertise about their own livelihood and taking their advice into consideration if they tell the lord that one of his ideas won't work.

Good boundaries. The ethical liege lord knows that it's normal for the staff to probably be softly bitching about him in private (even with a really good boss, we all grumble from time to time). He's not eavesdropping on them, he's not going into the staff areas where they should reasonably expect to have a degree of privacy, etc.

Righteous and protective of "the weak". The "weak" here doesn't necessarily mean physically weak, this is often used in the sense of someone politically or socially weak, aka The Marginalized -- the poor, the disabled, women, children, the elderly, etc. If a lord sees someone like this being mistreated or abused, he's supposed to step in and put a stop to that.

Committed to reciprocity. In a highly hierarchical system like feudalism, every person (from the lowest peasant all the way up to the crown prince) legally OWES their liege lord certain things (taxes, labor, service, loyalty, etc). A good liege remembers and takes very seriously the idea that this should be a balanced and reciprocal relationship -- in other words, he owes something BACK. Feudalism is modeled very strongly on the family system: If children owe their parents obedience and service, then parents owe their children care and protection. This still applies when the "child" is a farmer and the "parent" is a local baron. Or when the "child" is a duke and the "parent" is the king.

Basically, we get so caught up in the aesthetics of nobility that we forget that it literally is a managerial position that comes with responsibilities that were... very similar back in the day to the same ones we have now. Humans have not changed all that much. At the end of the day, a really good boss in the 1400s versus in one from the 2020s displays most of the same qualities of personality, even if the details of execution are different.

The next question is, of course, "well, but this theoretical liege lord is HIGHLY idealized -- how often did that actually HAPPEN? Wasn't it more likely that everyone was exploited all the time?" and to that I say: Well, maybe. But again, I don't think humans have changed all that much. Just like the bosses of today, there's a SPECTRUM: A really really good boss is rare and precious and one that you tell stories about for years after you've left that job, but a truly, genuinely, homicidally nightmarish boss is also pretty rare. Most bosses are sort of meh -- they have their good moments, they have their shitty moments, but they're tolerable and you can get along with them well enough to do your job, and then you roll your eyes at them behind their back. Generally, humans don't take outright exploitation lying down. Being a bad boss in the historical period is how you get peasant uprisings and revolts, and you know that to be true because your parents raised you with that knowledge, so unless you are very stupid or inbred or an egomaniac, there is literal personal incentive to at minimum be a Tolerable liege lord. And that means hitting at least SOME of the above bullet points.

TL;DR: In the words of Honore de Balzac, "Everything I have just told you can be summarized by an old word: noblesse oblige!"

I am still pondering how best to approach some sort of "ship" for one of my OCs, but it's proving to be quite the challenge to wrap my head around. So what better way to learn more about how other people approach the topics of sex and relationships with their characters than to put together a little Ask List. Not just focussed on ships between OCs and canon characters, but also open to relationships between your OCs - or your OC and someone else's OC (or OCs, as we are all very polyamory inclusive around here).

Did you create your OC with a plan to ship them with a specific character or another OC? Or was their relationship something that evolved all by itself?

The only character that follows the former is Zorya, who I made with @housedeaubemarle to experiment with vanilla couple gposes, following a person I follow on Twitter who does this with elezens.

I don't actively pursue relationships because online friendships from RPs are...brittle. One day you're both fine, then someone posts an apology for going silent and that their chara is now single. The ones I currently have (Escher x Adrian, Ross x Kin) came about after many, many years of slow burn friendship to lovers RP, and yet there is a voice at the back of my mind reminding me only death and taxes are eternal.

So uh. Treat RP relationships like actual ones. With care and commitment and carving out time for it if you really want it. Ok bye.

3. Were there any barriers to you establishing your OCs relationship? Perhaps social or cultural stigma? Or a concern that "ships" with that character were already overdone? Or simply a fear of being seen as "cringe"? If so then how did you overcome this?

Only the fear of having to explain why my character is suddenly single if it doesn't work out. It's never occurred to me to ship my OCs with NPCs, just never really had any chemistry with them? And FFXIV has a LOT of NPCs. Should I be worried?

4. How graphic or explicit are your explorations of sexual interactions involving your OC? Do you happily name body parts and actions? Or do you prefer to leave the mechanical details to the imagination?

Isillud was specifically created for me to practice writing erotica. That's it, that's the answer.

The only reason I fade to black is if the other person prefers it or I run out of RP time.

5. If your OC's relationship involves a gender or orientation different to your own then how confident did you feel about exploring or writing this? If your OC and the character(s) with whom they are in a relationship are the same as you in terms of gender/orientation then was this a conscious decision?

This line from the movie 'As Good As It Gets' stayed with me:

How do I write women so well? I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability.

I write male & female charas based on their personality; no gender is immune/susceptible to faults/quirks. No one's told me I'm writing men wrong so I guess I'm doing it right? Or maybe everyone's too polite, in which case here's your chance to tell me and help correct this!

Ireul is the only one who's in a relationship the same as my gender/orientation (with an OC I made hahaha), and I'd say it was definitely a conscious decision. Ireul started as an online avatar that's followed me through many MMOs over the years so I'm much more attached to her than my regular RP charas. If the best way to maintain that is to make her a boyfriend, so be it.

8. To what degree do you use your OC as a means to explore your own romantic proclivities (or shortcomings)? Is your OC a self-insert and the relationship a form of wish-fulfilment and/or an means to explore certain fantasies? Or do you enjoy exploring something completely different to your own experiences and preferences?

I will never be able to experience gay male sex in my life.

Then when I'm horny for teh h3t I use Ireul to gpose.

10. Is it important to include tension or outright areas of conflict in a relationship? If so then how do you explore these? Or does this not appeal to you?

I like the dramatic tension and look forward to how it resolves, but I've learned it's stressful hoping the RP partner is fine with it and whether this will make or break the friendship. So...I'm torn.

14. How do you feel about answering questions about your characters sexual/romantic activities or preferences in character?

I've only been able to do this with Isillud. The rest won't tell me what they like.

19. Do you have a sense of how your OCs relationship will evolve in the future? Or is it quite a fixed in terms of dynamics and story?

No, that's part of the fun. Escher and Adrian have been dating for 3 years and they still haven't banged it's becoming a running joke. Ross and Cres were doing fine until Cres's manifestation of her inner nihilist shattered her memories and they've had to restart their relationship from scratch.

24. How do you feel about people producing fanart of your character's relationship or ship? If this were NSFW would you want to be asked first?

I'm flattered you love my charas to draw them but please ask me before you start drawing so that you don't waste your time portraying them OOC and then get mad if I point it out.

35. Is there a way in which your portrayal of your character's relationship subverts the reader or viewer's expectations? Was this deliberate?

When the sun set over Lower La Noscea and painted the windmills of the Grey Fleet red, Joshua knew he would be in trouble; he did not care. Instead he pulled his knees closer to his chest to sink his face into and sighed. His axe laid on the ground where it had bounced off the rock he sat against.

Laura will be worried, he thought, she'll be looking for me if I'm not home by dark. Or that was what he told himself to drown out what she said two bells past:

"Ye should be on your knees thanking me fer bringin' ye in! Yer a swivin' kid and I ain't shared my bed with anyone 'cause everyone knows ye cough through th' night! Can't take ye out to save th' refugees, can't sell popotoes to a popoto, what are ye even good for?! If I found yer brother I swear I'd just-"

That was enough for him to spring back up on his feet, snatch up the axe and give the rock a few more notches. Blunted metal didn't ring as cleanly when it struck but at least it felt good. When the axe lowered and silence returned, the boy's ear pricked at the rustling grass. He expected dodos or a curious cluster of mandaragoras; a pack of wolves circling him was not on his list.

One on the left, one to the right, one behind. Joshua's heart was supposed to skip a beat. A pit was supposed to form for his stomach to drop into. Instead his fingers uncurled, dropping the axe. No one would see him stare dully at the ground, his shoulders drooping as he hollowed out till only one thought remained.

Izzy doesn't know I'm here, he won't know if I'm torn apart by wolves, he won't care-

"JOSHUA! JOSHUA? SHOUT IF YE HEAR ME, DAMN IT!"

A single lamplight bounced in the distance. Both wolves and elezen turn to the new voice. "Laura?" It's soft, barely audible except to the wolves. 

"I see somethin' up ahead!" A shrill voice beside Laura starts, the shape of Miqo'te ears clearly wagging even in the darkening sky. "'e's got company, miss! Stand back!" 

The wolves kicked up dust and grass as they sprinted towards the approaching figures. Now his heart jumped. It's three against two, they'll be surrounded. He snatched up his axe and started running. "Get away from them!" he shouted, launching his axe at the wolves. He couldn't see where it went but he heard the sharp yelp before the axe landed.

Laura waved her lamp at the two advancing wolves, pushing them a step back but stayed put as they growled. The miqo'te - a Yellowjacket now that she was closer - lifted her axe high above and brought it down on the wolf's skull. Realising it was now outnumbered, the remaining wolf crouched, before turning tail and fleeing into the grass.

Joshua searched the area for his axe - now harder without the sun or the moon with the lamp lighting only their torsos - so intently that it took Laura grabbing him by the shoulder to get his attention. "Ye alright, Joshua?" Despite the worry in her voice and face, he narrowed his eyes, jaw so tense the miqo'te guard could hear his teeth grinding.

"She wouldn't let me finish my shift wi'out finding ye, lad," the miqo'te shrugged, crossing her arms with a sigh. "Say yer sorries and let's head back 'fore more wolves sniff out their dead kin." 

The rage roiled in his stomach. The hollowness, space for the fire to grow. The audacity of the Yellowjacket to assume it was his fault when she started it, because children were troublesome  weren't they? Joshua sucked in his breath, about to make it a problem for the whole island when Laura spoke up.

"...Joshua, I'm sorry. For ev'rythin' I said. I know 'm bad at words and you…yer not a bad kid, aight? You're rough 'round the edges and ye flare up quick, but you're smart and quick on yer feet. Look 'ere, see? Tha's where your axe landed." The lamp drifted to the ground: Joshua's axe was  embedded in the side of a dead wolf at their feet. "You'll be a fine man, kid. I mean it." She gripped his shoulder, her voice quiet with awe and regret.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't angry anymore, though. "I suppose I could forgive you this time, like when you said the same thing last week." He rolled his eyes at the miqo'te, shrugging Laura's hand off. The Yellowjacket miqo'te, in turn, raised an eyebrow at the female hyur. "But I'll accept a new axe for saving your life," he added.

Laura was skeptical. "Wot, just an axe? No grovelling on the ground or anything?"

"If you wish, but you'd be grovelling every other day if you did," he deadpanned.

That got him a nervous chuckle from her. "Well, that's mighty mag- maga- generous of you!"

"Magnanimous."

"Wot?"

"Magnanimous. That's the word you were looking for." By the Fury, she really was shite with words. 

Laura grinned at the Yellowjacket, "Told ya he's a smart one! He's gonna be a damned good marauder when he comes o' age in two summers! Eh?" She rocked Joshua left and right from his shoulder while he avoided eye contact with her.

6 July 2026

working on some ffxiv blinkies because why not (and there's a stark lack in that department)

but at the same time you have to accept that it is an MMO published in 4 different languages that has been running for over a decade with multiple writers across easily over a million words in the main story quest alone. sometimes the writers were just making stuff up as they went along and had to make it all sort of fit together after the fact. sometimes things have been written in because they just need a convenient excuse for the player character to get to do MMO things (e.g. travel to any unlocked location at any time). sometimes localisation results in different implications for things depending on what language you played in. sometimes plot lines are completely abandoned or contradicted because they clearly just Forgor💀