Keys to Life on Earth

The thing about waiting is it feels you are at a standstill while everyone else seems to move forward without you. You are stuck at the red light, getting left behind. You are excluded, standing on the banks of the river of time. Or so it feels.

Before my wife’s latest depressive episode, we both expected to be in a very different position in our lives. Molly was almost through school and was offered a job upon graduation. We expected our financial insecurity to ease up. We expected to plan a vacation and stop being a burden to our family. We both had expectations, and we hinged our hopes on them. When things would get hard, we kept our…

Where in the spiral are you?

I broke a streak.  I am so disappointed.  I try to give myself a break. What’s a day?  A day turns into two.  I sit paralyzed and anxious that I’ll never get back on the path.  I’ve done that before. Given up. Succumbed to a bad case of the fuckits. Self-doubt bares its bloody teeth in the dark.  I take a torch from the fire and wave it around in circles like a maniac. “Get back!” I growl…

How do I stay in a space of openness and trust?

I have been reflecting a lot on the thoughts you offered me when I first left my job last year on openness vs control. This was really helpful. I know a lot of my anxiety recently has been rooted in my feeling like I am not enough and therefore trying to control everything, then having scattered energy and feeling like I am not accomplishing anything at all. Do you have any tips on how to stay in…

When the going gets tough, how do you get going?

I recently took a Resilience assessment. I love assessments. I always go in to them thinking they will reveal something about me that will explain everything, give me the instruction to living I’ve been missing all my life and I will live happily ever after. Hey. A girl can dream. The assessment, developed by Resilience Alliance and administered by StarlingBrook Leadership Consulting, measures…

When the way is dark and the wind is cold, Keep dancing. When the air is thin and your chest hurts, Keep dancing. There will be nights filled with the sour stench of failure and disappointment. There will be mornings darkened with dread and shame. There will be silences as heavy as lead and longing as desolate as the vacuum of space. Still, keep dancing. Breathe in and breathe…

How do I stop comparing myself to others?

Dear Hospitable Alien, Been feeling very hollow today. Have been full of self loathing. I should be so much further ahead in my life right now. Especially when I see all my friends doing so well. Help! Dear one,  Sounds like you have a bad case of comparisonitis.  Comparisonitis (noun): The compulsion to compare one’s accomplishments to another’s to determine relative…