so much to love in this scene, of course the iconic “nothing” and their smoky kiss but more than that i adore the complete change in ryan’s demeanour here. this is such a contrast from ryan with hunter and ryan at the beginning—throwing stones, teasing, shoving, wrestling. all of this violence, as if making it hurt enough justifies what they’re about to do. pain is the price of intimacy, of desire, of giving in to himself. even the way he and hunter kiss is violent, it’s all grabbing hands and teeth and wrestling tongues with ribs still aching from the force of their throws. the stones are punishment to these boys, a kind of self-flagellatory ritual they’ve devised together. i don’t believe their kiss under the hills hoist is their first one. i think they’ve just built this pattern, because it’s the only way they know how to live with this thing between them that they shouldn’t have. hurt me, and i’ll hurt you. kiss me, and i’ll kiss you. make me ache and you’ll make it better, and then when we walk away from one another we’ll have the bruises to prove it.
then we get this stillness with naim. gentle hands passing the joint back and forth, touching with his lips the place where naim’s were a moment ago, brushing fingers as it moves between them. it’s this quiet intimacy, the openness of their bodies, the way naim rambles about his mum and apologises for it, and ryan doesn’t comment or try to make him feel small. soft smiles, soft gazes, so there’s really nothing you like about this place? what about me? am i alone in this? are you here with me? is this okay? do you really not want to hurt me?
Ryan and Hunters dynamic felt very similar to way men don’t feel like they’re allowed to touch each other without violence, if the can’t touch each other they can at least hit one other, they can at least hurt one another. They can make them feel something.
