the answer is always niall

THIS IS THEEEE EDIT.

i did not once ever have a full night’s sleep from 2013-2015. nothing new to say that hasn’t already been said but it was so fucking fun being a one direction fan while they were still releasing albums/touring. can’t even put it into words or describe it. u were constantly terrorized while also having the best time of ur life.

"1D was a big part of my childhood and adolescence, so I'm allowed to be upset that one of its members died young even if he turned out to be vile"/"He died before getting to recover and left his young child fatherless"/"Him dying tragically and having a hard life doesn't redeem him from all the vile things he has done" are all statements that can coexist, btw

it's crazy to think that memories you've had for years will just never look or feel the same again. all those memories from 2012 when i first got into 1D, all the concerts, all the songs and the first time hearing those songs, the first time watching music videos, the posts and memes here on tumblr... like none of it will ever feel the same. it'll always be tinged by loss and a degree of emptiness from here on out.

you know the post that's like: one day I'll be 45 at a party and ill hear a one direction song and ill be dancing my heart out because I never learned to love anything as much as I love one direction?......... yeah.......thinking of that right now

hiding in the work bathroom right now because i’m grown up and i have things to do and responsibilities to meet and i didn’t even know him but. there’s a 15 year old inside of me who is absolutely reeling and panicking because that 15 year old did know his voice and his public persona and his contributions to a band that meant a lot to so many my age. like. this is a storyline from a horror movie. not something that was supposed to happen to someone so important to me in my adolescence. i don’t know how process it and I can’t imagine how the people he did really know are. i can’t wrap my head around it. so i’m. just gonna be. 15 years old in this work bathroom right now