•two lost souls just passing by•

**IF YOU’RE HERE FOR THE MASTERLISTS THEY’RE AT THE BOTTOM**

Hi, as my username implies, I’m Hope! I’ve been an author for a little over three years. I’ve previously dabbled in writing for the musical Hamilton. I currently write for Why Don’t We, as well as Harry Potter, The Outsiders, Criminal Minds, Outer Banks, and the Tv shows 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 Lonestar on my other blogs.

I made this account on Thursday July 02, 2020 at 12:46:54 pm (according to the website postlimit.com)

Somethings to know about me! My blog is very Why Don’t We and 5 Seconds of Summer focused. My theme almost always reflects what ever big book I’m writing at the time. When I’m currently not updating a big book, it will go back to a normal one. Themes that correspond to a book usually get a post like “new theme... what do you think the books about this time?” (Not this exactly but it’s the basic idea)

My writing inspiration comes from many lovely blogs, but one of the first writing ones I ever found was @chilling-seavey and now I have all my mutuals and my writing! Writing is something I’m extremely insecure about for no reason. I usually schedule any writing to be posted when I'm asleep. You guys never bash my writing, which has helped me with my confidence.

I honestly thank you guys for everything. I don’t know where I would be without all of you. So thank you everyone!

BELOW THE CUT IS INFO ABOUT MY BOOKS

when i was born, i suppose,

it was a bittersweet moment.

you had plans of 4 kids:

2 kids, older yet close

followed by 2 younger kids.

you had plans of giving your kids a friend;

to set them up for success early in life.

i was your last and i wasn’t a boy.

you had never said this,

but i don’t blame you for feeling it.

i can tell you had wanted at least one boy

would my life be easier if i were a boy?

what if i wasn’t so whiny or depressed?

would i make your life easier then?

i’m not saying your a bad mother,

because you’re absolutely not.

you just are to me.

my two older sister got to grow up together.

by the time i came along,

they were already in elementary school.

they were both “teenagers”

when i was just a measly 8.

by the time i needed the most guidance,

you were already burnt out.

you always compare me to my sisters,

and i’m sick of it.

and i don’t blame you for napping now.

you are the main source of income.

you are in college again.

yet sometimes i think about my sisters.

why did they deserve a mother who was young

and not tired all the time?

why did they get to do fun things with their mom

or go outside and play when they did?

what had i done wrong that i feel so alone.

at dinner, in a family of five like mine,

the parents talk,

my older sisters talk,

and i sit in the corner. quiet. alone. wondering.

when am i going to be noticed?

when will i stop feeling alone?

yet there is always one thought in my head.

it’s never a question,

and it’s the one thing in life i’m most confident about.

A/N: Hello!! I don’t know if this is an official end to my break writing, but I got a sudden burst of creativity and got this written for everyone! Thank you all for all of the love and support I've been given so far on not only this book, but everything too. I love you! Now for the picture of the chapter-

I hate making mistakes. In my opinion, they are the worst thing that can happen to me. There is nothing worse than realizing an error you’ve made after it’s way past when you can change it and correct yourself.

My mistake was not hooking up with Corbyn, but rather thinking I could easily avoid it. Standing in the mirror, I saw the purple mark on the underside of my collar bone and one placed almost too perfectly on my stomach.

“Bella, you good in there?”

“Yeah,” My voice cracked a little, and I cleared my throat. “Be out in a second!”

“Thank god!” I heard him yell, and I shook my head at him.

I let my shirt fall back down to where it was supposed to be and adjusted the collar of my shirt on my neck. I walked out of the bathroom and passed my brother. When I heard the bathroom door click shut, I sighed in relief and went to my room.

“See you at 3?” Daniel asked, leaning over to kiss my forehead.

“Yessir.” I nodded, then got out of the car.

Today was my first day of college, a small local college but still college nonetheless. I was nervous. I haven’t really gone anywhere since that night of the party, since I ordered my books online. I made my way into the building and headed straight for the library. My first class didn't start for 30 minutes, but Daniel was my only ride so I had to go when he did. I picked a table in the back so I wouldn’t be the center of attention. I grabbed a book out of my bag and started reading.

“Well look who we have here.” I heard the familiar voice 10 minutes later, and it made me look up from my book. “Hey there, Bella.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I looked up at him, angrily moving my hair from my eyes.

“Sorry sweetheart, it’s me. Live and in the flesh.”

“I know why you’re talking to me right now, Corbyn. Quite frankly, I don’t want to talk right now, nor do I have the time. My class starts in,” I glanced down at my watch. “6 minutes.”

“I don’t know why you’re being so grouchy right now.” I ignored him and put my book in my bag instead. He reached over and grabbed my arm lightly. “We are gonna have to talk about it at some point.”

“We’ll talk about it when we talk about it.” I scoffed and wiggled out of his grip, keeping my head held high as I stalked out of the library.

“Hey, Bella. What’s got you in a bad mood?”

I slid into the booth across from her. “You’ll never believe who I ran into today.”

Emily looked up from her milkshake. “Who?”

“The one and only Corbyn Besson!” I shook my head. “He demanded that we speak later. How weird is that?”

“Honestly, not that weird. A lot of people want to talk to you. Not like you’re trying to avoid him or something.” I looked down at the milkshake that she had ordered for me.

She gasped. “You are trying to avoid him. Why?” I gave her a half-hearted shrug. “You slept with him?”

My cheeks burned a rosy red as I glanced out of the window.

“Oh. My. GOSH!! You did the dirty with Corbyn?”

“Shh! Be quiet. I don’t think everyone in this place needs to hear about my sex life”

“But what about Jonah?”

“We, uh, broke up.”

“But you guys were perfect together. I wonder what went wrong…” She trailed off when she saw my face. “He’s not your soulmate, is he?” I shook my head, her eyes softening. “Oh, gosh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I sighed. “Wel, no it’s not fine. Worse things could have happened, you know? Besides, no telling Daniel. That’s the last problem I need to have.”

She hummed and I took a sip of my milkshake.

“So, was he good?” She asked nonchalantly. I choked. She winced. “Sorry.”

Within the next week, Daniel told me he wanted to catch up with me on my life. Ever since I started college, we haven't spent the amount of time with each other that we normally do. I decided it was best to tell Daniel what had happened. With Jonah, not Corbyn.

“Hey, Daniel” I walked into his room with a smile.

He didn’t look up from his computer. “One second, almost done.”

I stood awkwardly in the doorway, pretending to look down at my watch every few minutes. Eventually, he looked up and I could see the gaming screen behind him. I rolled my eyes.

“Yes, my lovely twin.”

“Oh, it’s nothing important. I got a 100 on my first important paper, your girlfriend and I had milkshakes the other day, and can we get a dog?”

“That’s wonderful, good job. Wait, are mom and dad okay with a dog?” I nodded. “Can you get Jonah to drive you?”

“No, we broke up.”

“What? What did he do?”

“It was a mutual decision,” I said with a scowl, leaving the doorway and returning to my bedroom. Gosh, why do people always assume someone did something.

“Corbyn, please,” She begged.

He looked down at her, a confident, cocky smirk smeared onto his face.

“You’re so pretty when you beg, you know that? Do you know how long I wanted this? I couldn’t have you when you were Jonah’s, but now that you broke up you could be mine.”

She answered with a soft whine of pleasure, Corbyn throwing his head back, hands roaming her body.

“So beautiful.”

I woke up from my nap with a start. No matter how hard I’m trying to forget, the events of that night slowly keep coming back to me. Why now though? Why couldn't it have been the morning after, or the night off?

Why did this moment, out of all my life that I have lived, keep fighting its way back to the surface of my brain. Maybe forgetting and moving on would be a mistake. I turned over onto my side with a huff.

I hate making mistakes.

My rainbows: @chilling-seavey @hiya-its-amber @theduckgoesquack @randomlimelightxxx @hopelesslylivv @the-girl-who-cried-wolf