But his friendship with Jude made him feel that there was something real and immutable about who he was, that despite his life of guises, there was something elemental about him, something that Jude saw even when he could not, as if Jude’s very witness of him made him real.

can feel myself slipping thru the cracks of my own life

"yeah idk I don't think I'm in a depressive episode I just [textbook symptoms of a major depressive episode]"

I'm too fucking old to be dealing with this shit. Should've killed myself when I was 16.

sometimes i mourn the person i could've been if i hadnt gone through all this trauma and didnt end up with a personality disorder

sorry my hands are so cold all the time it's cuz i died a few years back

I don’t miss them. I miss who I was when they were around

what do you mean you havent used mindfulness techniques to accept the state of the torture labyrinth as is yet. its like youre not even trying

“you’re so funny” thanks i would have been lobotomized in the 1940s