Where is My Mind?

Not to indulge in childish fantasies but what if every time I checked the news it wasn’t worse?

I can’t believe if the universe had aligned slightly differently that I would’ve missed seeing this

I go to babysit for this kid and find him alone in the Masculinity Chamber scribbling "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" on the interior of his empty metal lockers and tearing a Tom Brady jersey to shreds with his teeth

I had a dream that Joe Biden kept trying to sneak back into the white house to become the president again and he had a variety of silly disguises like in one he was wearing a big moustache and top hat and introduced himself as Job Iden and tried to sell trump snake oil and trump was super interested until his moustache fell off and then JD vance was like "wait a minute.. that's joe biden!!" amd he was like "welp, gotta run, see ya later jack!" and then all the evil white house staff were shaking their heads cus joe biden almost sneaked into the white house and the newest aid was there and she was like "That was a close call, Mr President" and his new aide was actually kamala harris wearing a big cartoon wig and they were all too distracted by joe biden to notice

you are like an empty tip jar

Ready to be filled!

i would love to go to bed when i plan to, but unfortunately the person in charge of me is me and that bitch LOVES screentime and poor decisions

Need head from a broad with acid reflux. Make it sizzle princess

how does tumblr think they can possibly police the content on this website