𝓫𝓪𝓫𝔂 𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓸

"Brick shithouse" gotta be one of my fave body type descriptions.... so confusing to translate

the lesbian computer from portal was right. given the circumstances ive been shockingly nice

“Whenever this appears on your dash, we at Aperture request that you like AND reblog to preserve the insane like/reblog parity. For science.”

you can't convince me to ever give a shit about easter cuz i know that rabbit isnt real. (looks around nervously) (grips my axe a little tighter) i know it.

dry humping in its specificity as a term implies the existence of wet humping

worry not my lord, allow me to unscrew that jar for you. i would not want for you to strain your hand or break a nail. alright. hmm. HMMMM. HNNNGRGHHHHHH. HNNGGHHHH HRRRRRGHHH. AAAAAARGHHHHHHH fucking. squire fetch me my grippy gloves

it’s bullshit that being under this much stress has yet to awaken my latent psychic abilities

You're so sleepbait the way you're looking drowsy and tired right now. I'm going to make your bed so cozy and warm and comfortable and there's NOTHING you can do to stop me. Yeah. Hope you like comfy pillows, bedslut. Yeah. You're gonna take a nice, long, nap for me, my little sleeper.