“can you pass me the gummy worms back there?”

“oh my god, satoru. you’re going to have a sugar crash you literally have not stopped eating candy since we’ve been driving. it’s been, what?” you looked at suguru. the only part of him you could see from your sprawled out position in the second row was his jet black mane pressed against the driver’s seat headrest.

“almost 3 hours” suguru answered tiredly, all leftover energy focused on changing lanes.

“and why does that matter again?” satoru whined while he used his long ass arms to feel for the snacks next to you. it didnt take long for him to get his hands on the plastic grocery bag spilling over with treats, but he didnt grab onto it.

you were about to tell him he already got it but not before his hand moved again. the soft tips of his fingers silenced you as they suddenly grazed your thigh, his head still turned forward. goosebumps trailed the cold touch as they lingered on your skin for just a second—only for him to pinch you suddenly. a squeak burst from your mouth, breaking your momentarily frozen state. now you saw his snarky little smile faced towards you, the little shit desperately wanting to catch the look on your face. the corners of you lips quickly turned the opposite direction. you retaliated by taking the bag of gummy worms and sending them straight at his face, only for him to catch it without even a crack in that ragebaiting smile. satoru and his stupid reflexes.

if he wasn’t the last person who needed money, he definitely could’ve gone to college with a sports scholarship. in fact, crowds at each game had doubled since him and suguru had joined the basketball team, or at least the female fraction did.

your irritation faded quickly, the way it always did with your best friend, taking your frown with it. the next few minutes passed in comfortable silence, the only sound the smooth hum of the engine and the aggressive crinkle of satoru shoving his hand in and out of the plastic bag to fill his mouth with more future cavities. as usual he was the one to end the peace.

“sooo…what exactly happened last night?” his voice was slightly gentler, a reflection of genuine care coming from the guy who pinched you less than one gwen stefani song ago (satoru was dj)

“satoru—“ suguru began to chastise.

“no, it’s ok,” you stopped him. “it’s not like i’m gonna burst into tears and even if i did, it’s satoru.” you waved your hand with a casual manner. from the corner of your eye you could see him smiling smugly, seemingly proud of how he was the exception. if someone choso was there, he’d struggle he wouldnt even try not to rub it in his face.

a little more than last nights events had to be recapped considering you never actually mentioned to him that you and choso were sleeping together on and off for a little over a year. you knew he had his suspicions but you avoided confirmation at all costs. sadly, that wasnt an option now. thankfully he didnt comment. even though he liked choso, you fully expected him to throw an insult your other best friend’s way when it came your defense, but he was silent apart from the occasional hum and a few scoffs. his frown was reflected in the side view mirror; you could see it growing deeper everytime you shared another detail.

story time didn’t touch on any of the specifics, just saying that choso was always getting territorial without even giving to a relationship. even more details were omitted than in the version you told suguru, even substituting some. that’s not lying, right? either way you told satoru he was getting jealous over some random guys from your class and not the honored one himself. (a nickname he once referred to himself when he tried to be poetic while he was drunk. him and how great he was as his subject wasn’t even surprising.) but without laying out the entirety of each comment in the conversation, which left the explanation pretty bare bones. you were both relieved and a little bummed at how you could trust him to fill in the blanks the way only someone who really knew you could. you were thankful you didn’t have to actually repeat to his face the words choso had said to set you off in the first place, but you didn’t want him to think choso despised him he totally did it would be devastating to have two of the people you cared about the most, hate each other. whats worse is you also knew you wouldnt be able to help blaming yourself.

“i’m gonna be honest…i’m glad you’re not sleeping with him anymore,” he seemed so genuine about it. you tilted your head a little to the side in confusion.

cute.

the bright blue eyes that were previously boring into you shifted away from direct eye contact. if you didn’t know better, you’d say he was blushing, but you did know and ge definitely didn’t think of you in any way that would cause him to blush. he elaborated as per request by head tilt, “love moody boy, he’s got that whole boy next door thing going on, but he doesn’t deserve you,

you laughed it off, the way you usually do when youre not sure how to respond.

“oh yeah? who does? you?”

the always smooth satoru stalled for the slightest of seconds, or at least you could’ve sworn. he went back to joking so quickly that you wouldn’t put it past your stupid brain to have imagined it. part of you wanted him to react like that for some reason, to care more than he should, but you just shoved that weird desire off right as he responded, “nah i already have a girlfriend.”

“WHAT?” suguru and you shouted with a shock that iterally had him swerving the car, a few angry honks following.

“sugieeee why’re you pretending not to know?

suguru was struggling not to whirl his head around and show gojo the bewildered look he had directly.

gojo just continued, “is this you breaking up with me? oh no what do we tell the kids!” he slapped the back of his hand in his forehead, clutching his chest in exxagerated hurt. dumbass.

you sighed when he made it clear it was a joke, almost in a weird sense of relief. there was no way you could see him with a girlfriend.

i mean, he was handsome, rich, funny, affectionate, loyal, charming (when he wanted to be), secretly caring—wait why couldn’t you see him with a girlfriend? sure, he was annoying and arrogant but the wildly attractive guy hadn’t had a single one.

he flirted but no relationships in 21 years?? he didn’t seem like he had commitment issues, could he be scared?

you felt horrible with how ok you were if that was the problem. maybe you could see him with a girlfriend if you tried just a little, but maybe you didn’t want to? this ride was not the time to ask yourself why.

“youre such an idiot, man. we really thought you had actually kept a secret for more than 5 seconds.” suguru shook his head but the corner of his lips had a little lift to them.

you flopped back in your seat, not even realizing you had sat up in the first place. when he tried to clutch the hand suguru didn’t have on the wheel, his “lover” shoved him but finally let out a laugh.

“if we’re breaking up im not driving you.”

“first of all, my car, second, im the reason you guys aren’t sleeping outside,” he pulled the keys to the beachhouse from his pocket and swirled them around his finger for you guys to see. he wore another one of his shit-eating grins.

“ok so i don’t kick you out, but you drive the rest of the way. i need a nap.”

“deal. but youre feeding me the whole way there.” he turned to you.

”hell no,”

he winked as suguru pulled over.

10 minutes later, your former driver was passed out in the back row as you did in fact plop a skittle or two in satorus mouth whenever you found a purple, the one flavor you hated but he was happy to be fed. it wasnt actually so bad, not when you got to look at how pretty his profile was, from the slope of his nose to the bob of his adam’s apple every time he swallowed a skittle. you knew better than to have a crush on satoru, he flirted way too much to be serious, but you weren’t going to stop yourself from enjoying the eye candy. he joked once saying you were “objectifying him” but when you said you’d stop looking at him he stopped smiling and said seriously “dont.”

don’t stop noticing me. don’t ignore me. not you too.

it took you aback, but you never asked for him to elaborate.

“like what you see?”

“i like what i see, not what i hear.” you teased

“wanna hear something else?”

“hmm” you tapped your chin in faux consideration, “ill take the risk, sure,”

“ok rude, but, i just wanna ask, what exactly did choso say about me?”

“nothing, whywouldyouthinkhesaidanythingaboutyou?” well the way you said it so nervously it came out as one word he definitely knows now.

“cmon i’m not just a pretty face, y’know. it’s not too hard to figure out who makes him get all weird.” what was weird was the way you almost felt defensive about choso. “plus, the way he cut you off on the phone call like i was stealing you from him,”

“he just said that you were a spoiled brat. that youre always flirting” you didnt see a point in lying anymore, or maybe you were too tired to.

“so just the facts huh?” well he was right, when you quoted choso out loud the words didn’t sound too bad. just a jab or little complaint. it was his face and the deep seated…aggression…that scared you. he’d never ever hurt you, but it was like seeing a different choso. not the one you knew, definitely not the one you lo—

“just so you know, i don’t flirt with everyone,” satorus voice was softer, more serious and not for the first time this drive.

“you flirt with suguru,” you fought his seriousness off with jokes.

“it’s suguru,” he looked at you like you should already understand—which you did, “but i’m not, y’know, the kind of guy to do that,”

kind of guy? the one choso thinks gojo is or the one you do?

“but all those things you say—“

“you never really notice how i talk to other girls huh?”

“should i?” you were really confused now.

“i’m all yours to notice, baby,” he blew a kiss that you returned with an eye roll instead.

“shut up.” you did end up laughing, but added “and, i don’t think you’re a spoiled brat.”

“baby, we’re going to my five bed—“

“six.”

“six bedroom beach house right now. anyone can call me that. i don’t really care, as long as we get to spend a week long vacation together.

the beat of your heart went from something you weren’t even thunking about to pressing uncomfortably against your ribs.

he means suguru and you. not just you. right.

“still, you didn’t have everything as a kid, none of us did.” it was true, but thats what made you all so close. sometimes it wasn’t even consciously, the you would all try and fill in for whatever was missing, trying even when you couldn’t. but most of the time it worked. when your first date stood you up the same way your father always had, suguru and satoru took you out to an even nicer restaurant. (and beat the guy up the next day, but you didn’t need to know that. when suguru’s trauma made it hard for him to get out of bed, satoru and you would come to him, always with food or your homework so he could copy it. when satoru’s parents left a thick envelope with cold cash and an expensive but sugar free cupcake on the counter for him to make up for not being there again, the three of you spent hours baking one with a satoru amount of frosting together before taking him to the surprise party suguru and you had planned. “…sometimes you’re a brat, but not totally spoiled i guess.”

“me?? the brat??” sometimes you weren’t sure if he was just really good at acting shocked or if he was really lacking that much self-awareness

“yes you!”

“you’re such a little brat.”

“am not!”

“won’t even feed me, always saying mean things to me after i’m sooooo generous,”

“i take back everything nice i said”

“go ahead…brat!”

“ugh im not a brat!”

“there we go, sounding just like one.”

the two of you could go on forever, but you couldnt stop smiling even when you fought.

“that’s—no— why am i being baited right now?”

“because i like brats,”

“freak.”

“you would know.” the insinuation had your eyes blowing wide.

“satoru!”

“just sayin”

you jerked your head back to suguru, snoring softly in the back, mouth open and everything. you made a mental note to record him before he woke up, but you still had things to say right now.

“please don’t say shit like that in front of choso,” he looked like he was gonna fight you on it, even though he hadnt brought up what happened between the two of you in your bedrooml in years. “i mean im gonna the the one dealing with it. i just wanna have a good time.”

“fine fine i wont give you compliments even though you deserve them”

“thank you”

there was a beat of silence, too long for satoru to stay quiet.

“you look hot in that bikini”

“what??”

“i know you will, and if i can’t say it in front of cho-broi’ll just say it now,”

“well you look good with your shirt off,” part of you was surprised you leaned into the flirting instead of chastising him.

“i—really?” it seems he was surprised too. a compliment that wasnt playfully backhanded?

“you don’t need me to tell you,”

“it only counts when it’s coming from a pretty girl.”

“this pretty girl says shut up and drive,”

“so you agree? you think you’re really pretty?”

“are you really quoting mean girls?”

the rest of the drive was filled with laughing and entertaining conversation, the kind that came from knowing someone inside out, way too literally. eventually something felt funny in your cheeks, they…hurt? you didn’t realize just how hard he’d been making you smile, and how he had a way of occupying your mind so thoroughly that you forgot about your worries concerning choso for a moment. things came easy with satoru. there was a time when it definitely wasn’t, though.

satoru entered, no burst, into your life at the same time suguru did. it could’ve been luck or fate, but either way, being assigned to sit next to suguru for your third grade year made a hell of an impact on your future, considering a decade later he was literally snoring behind you as you were on your way to take a vacation together. bless you ms. saori.

it was the first day of class and your teacher, ms. saori, went for the classic “introduce yourself to your neighbor” icebreaker. suguru wasn’t talkative, but you were much worse.

you used to be the first to run up and ask another kid if they wanted to play with you. that was the case with choso when he moved into the house across from yours. things were different after your dad left a little over a year before.

it was inevitable that you, a child, would be heavily impacted in a way that flipped your world upside down. your dad leaving you imprinted the idea in your head that other people would probably leave you too. you clung to the friends you’d had since kindergarten, but then you’d started annoying them for being so clingy. they of course made new friends and only a few of them stuck with you. it was hard to blame them as you look back on it. kids don’t get that shit yet. they don’t think about the emotional consequences of their actions of being there for a traumatized friend unless they were naturally that caring, they just knew what they did and didn’t like and then continued playing handball. no, you couldn’t totally blame them, but it still hurt.

the friends that had actually stayed since the beginning of your elementary career were either in the other class or sat way across the room, and your best friend choso was home-schooled. being forced to talk to someone you e never met, especially a boy who had always intimidatedwith his dark hair and narrow eyes, was probably, definitely, your worst nightmare in that time.

he wasn’t like other kids though, he was more mature, spent more time watching, understanding. he could see how terrified you were, even though you tried to look as intimidating back, with the straightest face you could muster. he’d seen you across the playground, how you always hesitated to talk or to join a group, how you always walked a little behind everyone else. he could see how eager you were when it came to helping though, how you smiled so brightly when someone ran up to you. you didn’t hate participating or getting a little attention. but it was like you didn’t want to be a bother by getting near everyone, like you always felt guilty. it gave him the courage to be the first one to talk, feeling more pity for you than insecure about himself.

“i’m suguru, i’ve seen you before”

youu wuietly gave your name, telling him you’d seen him in the other classes too. he opened his mouth, but not before someone else opened theirs wider.

“i’m satoru!” everyone’s head turned to the boy who sat behind your guy’s table. you’d noticed him before he’d even yelled at you too. hair like snow and lashes to match. bright blue eyes that looked like they could see through anything.

“satoru, i’m glad you’re excited to meet the other students, but we’re still using our inside voices.” ms. saori kindly reminded the rowdy boy.

“yeah, idiot. why’re you yelling?” suguru said to him. that’s right, they knew each other, you’d seen them talking before. they were always together, it made sense you would meet them together too.

“because i wanted her to hear me.” he then turned his head to you “im sugurus best friend so if you’re going to be friends that means we’re gonna be friends too, dummy.” he said it nice enough but the way he looked you up and down, like he was sizing you up, irritated you.

“what if i don’t wanna be your friend?”

“everyone wants to be my friend.” he shrugged like it was just a fact of life. it was kinda true as the kid who always had the coolest toys and biggest parties.

“not me.” you huffed, raising your chin and jutting out your lip.

“well then you’re not sugurus friend either!”

suguru immediately stepped in (something hed be doing for years to come) “shut upppp. you can’t pick who my friends are, stupid. we’re going to be friends.”

“we are?” your big eyes widened with a hope you nervously and poorly tried to hide

“i thought we were?” he gave a sly little smirk.

“no, yeah i—yeah that’s—we’re friends”

the two of you beamed at each other, smiles carrying the underlying feeling that this was the beginning of something good.

“…why’d you stutter”

satoru just had to ruin the moment, smile falling as you whipped your head back at him, ready to bite his off. “im not talking to you. you’re not my friend. go be friends with nanami” you pointed to the boy sitting next to him. sandy blonde hair and thin rimmed glasses in front of the suicidally annoyed stare that gojo always brought out in him.

“yeah but you’re pretty.”

your face burned bright red. what kind of thing was that to say? there was only one way to respond in your young mind:

“i hate you.”

“i—“

“no i swear he’s really cool, he just talks a lot. he doesnt really think before he speaks.” suguru defended him again while satoru pouted.

“is don’t know yet.” your words held heavy skepticism.

“you’ll see, trust me.”

you did not trust him. suguru and you got along really well, but he annoyed the hell out of you, and wouldn’t leave you alone. at least he didn’t try to steal your new friend away, he seemed to genuinely want to be your friend, or wouldn’t have it other wise. if you were sitting with someone else he would ask them if you could sit with him and suguru. your friends would say yeah because he’s a cute boy and “omg he totally has a crush on you!”. then he would take your lunch and plop it down next to his and sugurus. you eventually decided to skip the torture and sit down with them from the get, definitely not because you liked hanging out with them the most.

the two of you never really hung out alone, suguru being the joining factor. you were naturally closer with the brunette, but you couldn’t hang out with him alone most of the most of the time either, satoru always popping in the way he did when you met him. they were truly a match set. you quickly noticed that satoru went home with suguru and his father almost everyday. you didnt want to ask why, he didnt go home with his own dad for fear it would lead to the topic of yours, or lack thereof . luckily you didnt have to, since satoru offhandedly mentioned one day that his parents were on another trip in another country, and theres no way he was going home with his “bitch nanny”, so he’d just have to go home with you.

“what?”

“i mean, suguru’s not gonna be at school for a couple days. his dads got a business trip or whatever and he gets to go with him,” you could tell he was bummed out, but it wasnt just because suguru was gone. he seemed like he was spaced out for a second. his parents took a million trips, for business and pleasure, but he never went with them. “i don’t really wanna go home,” he looked down, shy for once.

”well…” you picked at your nails.

”please? but it’s ok—“

”yeah. we can go to my house after school,”

hed never smiled at you that way before.

“i dont walk home, my mom picks me up, so i have to ask her when she comes after school.” you paused to look at the uncertainty in his face, “but she’ll probably say yes though!”

and that was that. satoru came over every day that suguru was gone. your mom was surprised that it wasn’t suguru you brought home first, having heard your stories about how loud and annoying he was, but she was just glad you were finally bringing home a friend especially one who pushed you out of your comfort zone.

she hated seeing you alone lately, but choso had become so busy helping take care of his brothers he didnt even have time to go across the street to play anymore. it was hard to see such a young boy take on so much.

your loud friend had a way of making your mom laugh, and she extended an invitation for him to come over whenever, without asking you of course.

a year later he was calling suguru and you his best friend. you didn’t deny it, and eventually you called him the same. the three of you went home altogether now, wether it be to your house, sugurus, or even satorus when you bugged him enough. he used to hate how big and cold it seemed, preferring the warmth and homeiness of sugurus, but now he didn’t seem to mind. as long as he was with the two of you. three voices overlapping to make the lonely echo off the marble tiles and the high ceilings almost unnocitable was exactly what he needed.

when your house was the meetup spot for the day, choso was always witness to the three of you laughing together and pushing at each other. sometimes you would wave him over through the window, but he always put his hand up saying he couldn’t. either he couldnt because his mom needed help, or because he was scared he wouldn’t fit in with your new friends, that they wouldn’t like him. they seemed so cool, the brunette looked so intimidating and the other one was so loud he could hear him through the window panes sometimes. even though, he knew you were the last person to abandon a friend, he was so scared of the possibility he might lose you, his first and one of few friends. still he felt like he was watching you slowly be stolen away, each time suguru made you smile or the satoru made you laugh. you said he should meet them, and eventually he did, but not before you had grown so close to them in a different way than choso, the kind of close that only comes from “having been there”. you could almost hear the “too late” echoing in his head everytime he came over to hang out, and you wouldnt stand for it

when it finally came to high school, you knew it was your last shot to bring together the people you loved most. it worked, they were friends now, and had welcomed him in excitedly, but “too late” echoed in chosos head a little too loudly whenever satoru made eye contact with him as he slipped a hand around your waist, almost like he knew what choso was thinking, not to mention whenever suguru talked about “home”. shared. singular. it wasnt your fault that your guy’s parents got married or that you lived in the same house as consequence, but it still sucked. satoru had sleepovers there all the time now, and he was invited but the look in sugurus eyes made it anything but inviting. it was his house now too.

sometimes he wishes he could be more like gojo. the prick invited himself to everything. even if it made him an asshole it’d be worth it if it meant he got to spend as much time with you as that spoiled brat. the one thing that stirred his conflicted feelings the most though was when the three of you simply walking together, hip to hip down the hall, same as it was in elementary.

same as it always will be.

he didnt know how to feel about how ignorant of the divide you seemed to be.

were you innocent? he told you were stupid. did you know and want to ignore it? we’re you just clinging onto hope they would be the kind of friends you wanted them to be? did you think they already were?

he’d give anything to know, anything to take back how he yelled at you, but you didn’t know that yet.

“yo, sleeping beauty!”

“ow what the hell satoru?” suguru had just been hit in the face with the neck pillow you’d been using in the front seat

“we’re here,”

you blinked at the sudden onslaught of sunlight when you stepped out of the car. you had gotten used to the aggressive and most likely illegal tint in satorus car. “sensitive eyes” he said. same reason he wore sunglasses indoors like a douchebag. you could use those sunglasses right now, the beach house a freshly painted white that was so bright it almost seemed to glow.

the modern style made it easy to tell how new it was even without the pristine paint. it was gorgeous and absolutely massive. the gojo’s owned the land around it too, leaving them no neighbors and the freedom to plant so many trees and plants around that it was like a tropical forest you had to go through before you could even see the beach. your first glimpse of the sand was through the large windows and the sliding glass door on the opposite side of the house that allowed gave your eyes a straight path to the beach. it was all white sand and bright waters. it made you gather your stuff from the trunk as soon as possible so you could shove satoru up to the door so he could unlock it.

”okay okay!”

he let you push him up there, resisting just a bit when you got to the door to mess with you. you looked at him with a frown, his blue eyes just crinkling at the corners as his glasses slipped down the bridge of his nose to reveal them. such a tease. it was easy for him to get you to go from frowning to jumping up and down once he pulled out the keys.

he held the door open for you and motioned for you to enter with a slight bow, as though you were a lady and he was a gentleman. it was a nice thought but no, it was just you and satoru, two dumbasses constantly messing around and annoying suguru. you entered, your awe of the interior cut short when you were suddenly jerked back. you had come in a little too fast without noticing that your suitcase wheels were going to be caught in the door trim, and the next think you were on your ass listening to two chuckles above you.

even as he found pleasure in your suffering (ok maybe thats a little dramatic), sugurus large hands wrapped around your waist, lifting you onto your feet. he could’ve just given you a hand, but he’d been acting a little differently since you told him about choso. he was always caring, but the way he pulled you closer last night, and the way he’d brushed his hands on your neck when he offered to tie it back after he did his own. it gave you goosebumps you prayed he didnt see (there was no way he didnt). you tried not think too much of it, telling yourself he was just trying to comfort you through your love languages, physical touch being one of them. you said thanks with a smile as he gave his own. his features including his mouth were sharp, and yet his face, especially his smile, held such warmth

the first thing on all of your minds was without a doubt: bedrooms. even satoru hadn’t been here yet, so the three of you ran around the house until you found them, suguru insisting on carrying your suitcase up the stairs with his. it wasn’t hard to find one when there were six, but you guys had to find the best one. having first pick was not a luxury to be wasted.

the master bedroom was always top pick, and the one in this house was a dream. a california king bed with silk sheets, a shower the size of a hallway with multiple waterfall heads, and of course the best view. miles of blue and you could even see the blinking lights of the city if you looked to the side enough. too bad it automatically goes to whoever planned the trip or owned the house, and that would be satoru.

he seemed to catch the speck of envy in your eyes and stuck his tongue out at you while unceremoniously chucking his louis vuitton duffel on the bed. a present from his parents, monogrammed and everything, for when he slept over at yours and sugurus house. he spent more nights there than at his house anyways. the only person who really spent time in the gojo house was their housekeeper/his nanny. it was an ideal situation honestly. you got to live in a mansion as long as you cleaned it, except the owners nor their son were ever there to make a mess in the first place. she basically got paid to live in luxury, and that sounded like a smart woman to you.

you called dibs on the next bedroom over, the same silk sheets on your king bed, the same ocean view through your slightly smaller window. it had its own bathroom too, but with a glass cased tub instead. the mirror extended across the wall and lit up around the edges. you were definitely going to play-pretend you were in a “vogue get ready with me” video tomorrow.

immediately you set your suitcase down in the corner eager to get to the bed and let your body melt into the cool cream colored sheets. it felt nice to starfish after being cramped in the car for hours.

suddenly the realization that you and choso were supposed to be sharing a room hit. you never addressed that the other night, a small detail compared to the rest of your conversation. it could’ve ruined your moment, but right now you just wanted to forget. youd deal with it later.

deal with it later. don’t think about it now. those wer thoughts you’d been having frequently now.

peace never lasted long, and a massive thump next to you had you bouncing up on impact. you didny have to open your eyes to know who it was, especially when you could feel his long locks tickling you.

“noooo i want chill,”

“this is chill.”

you heard satorus big ass feet padding along the hallway to join you. oh no.

FWOP

you were crushed by a 6’3 man, getting the wind knocked out of you. “shit, sorry” he at least moved some of his weight off you as you literally struggled to breathe under him. sprawled diagonally, head and arms on you, spider legs over sugurus. he just mumbled something annoyed sounding into the mattress.

“yup. chill.”

you did not expect to actually have fallen asleep in that position, but it was surprisingly comfortable, feeling satorus arm slung around you, and feeling sugurus soft breath across from yours. what woke you up was the doorbell ringing—repeatedly and with an aggression that was clear even though the bell was monotone. you opened an eye to see a stirring suguru, and behind him was a sky that was already multiple shades darker than it was when you first got here.

he went down to answer it first, since it took a moment to shove the manchild off of you. there were groans from you complaints from him but you both stopped to hear the door swing open.

“hey, bro.”

toji. of course he would be the one to ring the fuck out of the bell until someone let him in. he had the patience of—actually, there was no possible comparison. he just had no patience at all.

you heard the slap on the back from their bro hug ring out.

“took me a while to find i’m not gonna lie. wayyyy to many trees. why the fuck did they need a forest at a beach house.”

“don’t ask me.” the rumble of a motorcycle quickly interrupted, volume steadily rising. “wait who’s pulling up out there?”

“oh it’s choso and yuki. shoko and utahime shouldn’t be far behind,”

ok: yay shoko and utahime, but back up, choso and yuki? seems suguru had the same question. you heard a “mmm-mm” from toji that probably came with a shrug. you looked at satoru with wide eyes, only for his to be as big as yours.

you mouthed “what the fuck?”

he had the same question. those three words meant less, “what the fuck is choso doing driving up together with yuki?” and more “what the fuck is choso doing driving up together with his ex?” sure they were going in the same direction and they both rode bikes but you were sure the noise sounded like it came from only one. satoru just repeated tojis exact answer, hum and all. wow that helped so much.

“hi guys!” yuki voice was like sunshine, the bright kind not the soft, but warm all the same.

“hey,” and then there was chosos, the opposite, deep and calm as the night. you could still remember that voice, but a little more breathless and gravelly, saying the filthiest things in your ear. “you’re doing so perfect, that’s it just keep taking my—

“dick!” yuki responded to whatever random diss toji just gave her, just low enough so you couldnt hear his words from upstairs. it sounded like she shoved him too.

choso cleared his throat. ”so, uh where—“

”she’s up there with satoru. she rode with us.”

shit, sugurus tone was flat, even though him and choso actually got along well. a subtle way of telling choso that he was very aware of everything that had happened the other night. while it made your stomach do a little flip knowing he was defensive over you, the last thing you wanted was for there to be any drama this weekend.

you jumped up from the bed, not waiting for someone to say anything stupid without you there to keep them in check. long fingers wrapped around your wrist before you could make it out the door, throwing you on your ass for the second time since coming here. everyone downstairs undoubtedly heard the yelp and the thump you made. you snapped your head back to satoru just to throw him daggers.

“wait,”

you tried to pull yourself from his grip but he was stronger by far, no contest.

“just—remember, you cant be a hypocrite.” his eyes were so soft. his words forced a sigh out of you, shoulders deflating with your lungs. he was right, maybe for the first time when it came to making the mature decision. you’d point and poke about how much he’d grown if you weren’t obviously bothered by choso showing up with yuki. a million questions and circumstances made it worse, like the fact that they didnt even live remotely close to each other anymore. they had to have planned to meet up beforehand, and proceeded to spend hours basically spooning on a bike. sure, she was his high school ex, but you were his, well—nothing. it hit horribly, the reminder you were just a friend; who had no claim or right to be territorial, the same thing you had repeatedly told choso. ugh, you finally knew what he felt like, but there wasnt a single second where you even considered taking it back. your point stood, you just had to follow it too. although acting like a bitch sounded awfully tempting

instead of pulling your hand back, you twisted your it so your fingers wrapped around satorus wrist too. he smiled at your asking for him to please come down with you. you pulled him up but had to be the one to pull your hand out of his. you rolled your eyes as he gave you another one of those teasing smiles. if it was his choice he would eat, sleep, and shower with your hands laced together. you took the lead in walking down the stair

“hey guys!” you shouted before pausing at the landing a little too abruptly for your little follower. he fell forward, taking you with him of course. this time you ended up on your face rather than your ass.

being sandwhiched between satorus fully flattened chest and the floor was like being in a blackout tent. he was big enough for him to completely cover you, and there was no light or air getting in to replace the air that had been knocked out of your lungs on impact. can he get the fuck off? you heard some “oh shit”s and some “oh fuck”s as he finally lifted himself off of you. he groaned as he lifted himself up and sat back, rapidly spewing apologies as if he wasn’t taking his sweet damn time pulling his body off yours in the way that left you breathless. literally. you couldn’t breath under his weight and this bitch wasn’t getting off fast enough. you barely pushed up on your hands before two large ones to immediately swoop under your arm and lifted you. they were calloused and thick—choso’s.

you looked at the deep violet irises, the lids framing them shaped in concern. as he lifted you up, your gaze never wandered anywhere but his, as if they could. his eyes were always magnetic, even with the matching purple surrounding them, a combination of genetics and being the kind of guy who makes sure to fall asleep last so he can make sure everyone else in his house is taken cared of. he somehow made them look good.

once hr brought you to your feet he let his hands rest on your arms, looking at you like he was relieved and yet in pain at the same time. he made you feel so many things, not all of them good, but you thought it was funny how being close to him made any other thoughts apart that weren’t affection, maybe more, simply fade away.

“hey why didn’t you offer me a hand im pretty too,”

aaand all your sadness, anger, confusion, and attraction all flooded back in with satorus voice in your ear as he leaned his chin on your shoulder. he probably looked stupid struggling to squat but he definitely made himself unignorable to choso. you stepped on his foot as a warning, telling him that leaning on you was gonna take you guys right back down. when that wasn’t enough you gave him a severe look that made the much bigger man shrink into his shoulders like a scared puppy. you hid your little smile behind your hand after seeing his face, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing he made you laugh when he was supposed to take you sorta seriously.

“yo, shoko and utahime are here let’s go outside,” suguru announced but looking straight at you. you walked right to his side out of instinct, trying not to seem too hurried. you were more thankful for his rescue rather than satorus instigation. you just hoped that yuki and toji didnt see the disconcerted look on your face as you breezed by them. one glance back told you that choso most certainly did. after all he was wearing the same one.

you ran away from him towards shoko as she stepped out of her car.

“hey girl!” she said after pulling the cigarette from her lips.

“ahhhh!!” utahime came from the other side and nearly barreled into you, swooping you into a group hug. this was the vacation you wanted. you loved how sweet utahime was, until she saw who was standing behind you.

“ugh, trash,” she huffed out at geto and gojo, rolling her eyes dramatically.

“we’re literally staying at my house but thanks utahime,” gojo smiled, just the way she hated.

the boys helped them get their stuff from the car, excluding gojo who was being yelled at by utahime for you some reason you didn’t know. if you had to guess it was probably just for existing. she might be valid. you could say toji was being a gentleman, but he just liked to show off, taking the luggage the others had just set on the floor and carrying everything all the way up the stairs.

“where am i dumping this shit?” he hollered from the second floor. everyone ran up to pick out the rest of the rooms with the same excitment on first night of summer camp with your friends. toji put the girl’s things in the room across from yours.

“where are you staying?” choso asked you quietly. he said you. singular. not we, like you had planned. although there were six rooms and 10 of you, wasnt too hard to make arrangements most of you volunteering to share anyways. it was usually the same pairs anyways, satoru and suguru, utahime and shoko, nanami and haibara, and you and choso. when it came to rooms, toji wasnt gonna share for shit, and yuki got the extra, or at least thats what was supposed to happen.

“oh um, there. it’s the next biggest one.” the hallway felt too small. he just hummed. “so uh, what room are you gonna take?” if you weren’t sharing, and there wasnt an extra room for him alone, would he share with toji? take the couch even? he opened his mouth to respond just before you heard yuki confirm the worst option.

“hey, cho, should we take this one?” she popped her head out of the room next to yours. oh. he agreed, hiding a small grimace as he not so subtly looked for your reaction in his periphery. before you could ask any of the million questions you had, he just looked at you apologetically and followed the tall blonde into their room with his own belongings in tow. the way he looked at you so sadly had you feeling the complete opposite. did he pity you? you didn’t need pity for this bullshit. i mean yeah you cared more than you should, but he shouldn’t know that! let alone act all sorry when he knows exactly what he’s doing.

when they disappeared behind the door, toji leaned to your side and spoke in a low voice, “are they together again or just fucking?”

“no clue.” you shook your head immediately. why did he make it sound like there were only two options? even with their history couldn’t they just be friends? like you and choso were? unless their version of friends also included sex marathons the way yours did. you prayed not. “so what room are you taking?”

“first one. closest to the stairs. i like to get a drink or something at night.”

“maybe i’ll run into you.”

“i’ll share a beer but you better not fuckin’ touch my protein shakes.”

“ugh beer tastes like piss and i’m not going for an 8-pack so you don’t have to worry about either,” you flipped your hand casually.

he just grunted in acknowledgment with a little smile. toji was rough around the edges—very rough, but you counted yourself lucky to be one of the few to have a genuine friendship with him. he was closest to sukuna who couldn’t make it because he was on house arrest (a story you were definitely gonna get caught up on sometime this week) and haibara of all people. you guessed it was because haibara was like you in that he didn’t know how to quit once you decided to be friends with someone, a trait you rediscovered after years of healing with mostly suguru’s help. he was the one who made friends with you after all. you figured you fekt the same with toji as suguru probably did when he first met you. his own severe trust issues gave you the sympathy and the confidence you needed to become friends with him. at first it felt like you were putting a gun to his head, pursuing conversations in your shared classes, but you could see the scar on his lip twitch every so often, not into one of his smirks but into a real smile that he struggled to hold back. haibara, sukuna, and you all brought him in and years later you were still in each others lives. not many could say the same about their high school friends, let alone a whole group. then again it was easy to stay in touch when you all came back to the same small town for every holiday and all your parents were friends who would give you updates every so often. no matter what, you were extremely grateful for it.

just then you heard a knock on the front door followed the jiggle of the knob as it seemed whoever was outside outside realized it was already unlocked. with so many already here, it could only be two people. everyone stopped unpacking and ran down to meet nanami and haibara. he hadn’t changed at all since high school, while nanami had the glow-up one can only dream of. he looked so different you’d believe he was a distant cousin with a strong resemblance rather than the kento himself.

“so, what room do we get?”

—

finally, everyone who was supposed to be here was here, and now it was time to celebrate…with shots of course. satoru immedicatel headed to the kitchen and pulled out a handle of vodka. you asked him how he even knew that was gonna be there when hes never been here before and he basically told you alcohol was as necessary to a house as paint n his parents opinion. you’d only ever really met that at your high school graduation, and with the way his mom looked like she was going to fall over in her jimmy choos with each sip of her monogrammed stanley, that checked out pretty well.

after a round of shots, everyone had the same idea: the classic pizza and bonfire combo. you all gathered around the firepit on the deck of the house, steps from the sand, while someone called for pizza. the sound of tabs popping and drinks fizzing over mixed with the crackling of the firepit. the crisp noises signaled the beginning of a good vacation, and your body began to relax. between slices and jokes you all cheersed to anything and everything. everyone was required to give one at some point. some were boring like “to summer”, cough cough toji, but they got better and better after each can got crushed and a new one snapped open. better included toasts dedicated to “nanamis new abs”, “shokos lungs”, “all the hairs i know get stuck in sugurus ass crack” and “toji not getting an std”

“what the fuck?” he threw a hand up, questioning the audacity. surprisingly he didn’t retort, just contributed again, “well here’s to haibara and fat bitches!”

“toji!” utahime chastised him but he just wore a smirk that showed absolutely no regret.

“to hater-hime!” of course gojo couldn’t pass up the opportunity to rage-bait utahime.

“i’m gonna kick your ass gojo!” she might’ve, if not for shoko pulling her back. half her beer was now on the table instead of the bottle after waving it angrily at gojo, but it didn’t dampen the mood, someone tossing a few napkins on it.

“oh oh speaking of me and my big juicy ass, to all of this made possible by gojo,” even though you were all grateful to him in truth, there wasn’t a single one of you who’d say it to his face. its not like he needed it, obviously. i mean, considering he was doing the job of thanking himself on behalf of everyone anyways. his words did provoke multiple responses though, and none of them were close to a thank you.

“you can’t cheers to yourself”

“this bitch”

“oh yeah you’re a big ass for sure,”

“hey!”

you laughed at the bottom lip jutting out from gojo’s pretty pouty face as he sat to your side. your eyes continued to roam past him, the inebriation encouraging your body to drift wherever. choso was drunk too, multiple empty bottles he placed on the table in front of him said as much, but he held still, eyes trained on you, ready for the moment yours drifted to meet his. they didn’t hold any of the inner conflict like earlier, not that swirl of regret, affection, and yearning that irritated you. now they just held something…something more than adoration. love would be too far, right? you scarcely allowed yourself to contemplate the possibility, but the way he looked at you…it was like he was offering his soul and begging you to hold it close. his gaze was disarming in the most enticing way. those eyes lifted at the corners when you looked back. you had no idea what face you responded with, the alcohol in complete control of your expressions also.

“it was the look you had wanted him to give you, like everything that happened was in the past, that it wasn’t even a factor anymore, that he didn’t care about or want anything but to be with you. he subtly motioned to inside of the house with a small tilt of his head. you nodded instinctually, placing your hands on the seat to bring yourself to stand, but you were halted by the next toast before you even got to your feet.

“to not telling anyone you’re back together??” utahime was staring right at choso and yuki. it was less of a toast and more of a confronting statement. shoko flicked her arm not so subtly, but she just continued, “well why didn’t you tell us?”

the pain returned to chosos eyes even as he stared straight at the fire instead of meeting any of the 8 sets of eyes looking directly at him. yukis were caught up in the ceiling before offering an insufficient answer.

“don’t know if i’d say back together, more like, well…”

“yall fuckin?” gojo did mean it to hurt you, hoenstly. he meant it more as a confrontation to choso, drunk as he was and itching to get on “pigtail’s” nerves.

“gojo you have the worst tact i’ve ever seen.” nanami groaned

“well what abt you?” he retorted.

“what about me?”

“you fuckin’? oh wait, youre already getting fucked by that stick up ur ass!”

“why do you think i take it up the ass?” he said bluntly, responding calmly to gojo’s rage-bait in a way utahime could never.

“woah what’s wrong with that?? shokooo he’s being homophobic!!!”

“yeah nanami what the fuck?” she played along but her lounging position and lazy smirk was far from serious.

“oh my god he called in the resident lesbian!” haibara had his hand over his mouth in a dramatic display of faux disbelief.

“gojo, i’m gonna smother you in your sleep.”

“oh so your coming to my bed tonight?”

“oh my god toji make me something stronger”

“hell yeah”

usually it was shoko who made sure glasses stayed full, but she was too busy cackling.

you laughed but in the corner of your eye lay choso, melted into the couch with an arm on the back of yukis chair. it looked normal, but after looking longer than you should’ve you noticed how he matched every shift and lean of her shoulders to avoid touching her. you could see his gaze flick to you from his periphery, (it seemed neither of you were sly) no doubt checking for your reaction.

“need a water.” you excused yourself under your breath, ignoring the fact that haibara was offering you some right there.

it didn’t take any time to see a familiar shadow join yours on the expensive marble countertops of the still pristine kitchen.

“hey.” chosos voice rang low and deep behind you.

silence again.

“i just wanted to say—“

“what is there to say?” you refused to turn around.

“well me and yuki—-“

there was a bite to your words as you cut him off, “what’s between you and yuki is between you and yuki. i, personally, let people worry about their own relationships.”

“i just… i want to say im sorry. can i say that at least?” his pleading made you pause, heart softening the way it always did when it came to your first true friend.

“you know what. i appreciate it. i just need a little time.”

“ok.”

“i think im gonna go to bed honestly, im tired from the drive.”

“wait, you didn’t say whether or not you forgave me.” he called out, hand twitching to reach towards your distancing form.

“i don’t. i said i needed time.. i’m sorry cho but but there’s an actual conversation to be had before i do.”

“ok… goodnight”

“goodnight.”

“wait!” a waterbottle was slipped beneath your fingers, his hands wrapping yours around it tenderly. you twisted just to find your lips inches from his. “drink this and sleep on your side,” he says in all but a whisper before placing a swift kiss on your forehead. it happened so quickly you only processed it by the time he was walking back to the others.

leave it to him to still need to take care of you no matter what.

as you walked up the stairs, the water bottle felt heavier in your hand than it should, no doubt because it was carrying the weight of what choso was trying to say, was always trying to say, but never could.

you rushed through your night routine, wanting to get to sleep as sooon as possible. consciousness only meant having to dwell on your conflicted feelings, and looking in the mirror as you washed your face, being forced to see yourself and your inadequacy, your flaws, your existence, didnt help. you’d rather dissasociate, see the girl in the mirror as someone else, not the body that all your actions and choices and feelings marred.

you tucked yourself into bed, making sure to drink a lot of water and sleep on your side. you hoped it would ease chosos mind for some reason. he was sweet. yeah. his sweetness was good for yuki.he was sweet and a total gentleman and she brought him out of his shell, although he’s grown to be a lot more comfortable with himself over the passing years without needing anyone’s help. the cherry on top was how they looked so different but were both obviously gorgeous to where, if one of them wasn’t your type, the other definitely was. they had an ideal break-up too, the evidence being how they were both still in the same friend group years later, no drama or bad blood, although the reason why or even who ended it was never fully clear. choso had only mentioned that he couldn’t give her what she wanted, and that vague and very cliche line was all he ever disclosed no matter how much you badgered him.

you didn’t know how long you spent with your eyes closed but your mind running before you heard the door open softly. it wasnt as loud outside anymore.

“ou asleep?” suguru whispered from the doorway.

”no.”

the sliver of light from the open doorway disappeared as he closed it behind him, the comfortable darkness filling the room once again. he sat on the other side of the bed, your back facing him. he placed a hand on your shoulder.

“i noticed you left earlier. that choso followed you too…do you want to talk abt it?”

”no.”

you felt his weight lift from the bed but you turned to him quickly.

“stay?” your hand gently wrapped around his wrist.

when had he ever turned down that quiet whisper? he hummed as you shifted yourself to he could join you. he pulled up the covers and lay across from you. you didnt cuddle this time, just faced each other while he held your hand. you felt yourself drift off to sleep, feeling his warm hand engulf yours completely. he lay awake as you eventually shifted to where your head rested on his bicep, your whole body curled and tucked into his side. he hated needing an excuse like you being hurt to sleep with you like this, but he’d enjoy it while it lasted.

PART 3 >

ty for reading!! likes, comments, and reblogs always welcome n appreciated! comment for taglist <3

“me too baby, please, please cum with me,” his voice was much lower but his words ended with a high whine.

one of the best things about having sex with choso was how expressive he was, the man was unable to withhold a single reaction as soon as his tip brushed against your cunt. or it could be the fact that you knew him and his body so well that you couldn’t miss a single twitch. if he hadn’t responded you still would’ve known he was close by the way his abs flexed against your back as he leaned over you.

sometimes, when he fucked you from the back, he liked to watch the way his dick entered you and that pretty little arch of yours. he could slide his hand down the trail of your spine until he found the back of your head, wrapping his hands around your hair to pull you back into each thrust. this time was different, he wanted to feel you. he was hunched over and shielding your entire form, using the arm not holding him up to wrap around your waist and tug you flush against him.

you knew what his face looked like too, his jaw tensing between grunts, brows furrowed, trying his best to hold out so he could feel you for just a moment longer. it was hard for the both of you with the way he was rolling his hips, entering you impossibly fast and deep at the same time. the piercing on his tip—one few knew about—hit that sensitive spot that had electricity shooting through you each time they met.

he almost crushed you when you fumbled with the hand that was holding him up but he was glad you did as soon as you finally tucked your fingers under his palm. he was a sucker for gentle intimacy, even as he rearranged your insides so nicely. his other hand was occupied with gripping one of your breasts not gently, but desperately. your nipple was caught between his ring and index fingers, rolled around, sending even more pleasure down. choso was throbbing now, his cock pulsing like his heart between your walls. he’d never said it, but both were yours.

lips began to suck at your neck, only letting go to place another kiss next to it. choso’s swollen lips dragged across your skin until he had covered every inch from your nape to your throat with affection. he wanted nothing more than to leave marks, make his claim in purple, show everyone that you let him fuck you. but he would let go as soon as he felt the urge to suck on just a single spot. if he could get away with anything, it would be the handprints he was probably leaving on your hips as he leaned up to hold them in a white-knuckled grip.

with his last moments before he knew he had to pull out, he chanted your name and fucked you so well your screams turned to silence, unable to make a noise as he made the rest of the world fade out for just a moment, the only thing existing was the tsunami of white hot pleasure that blanketed and seized your whole body.

your muscles went numb and choso held your ass up one more time so that he could paint it sticky and white. he let out a small whimper once his balls were finally drained, then rolled over to your side as you slumped forward, the silhouette of choso’s name still on your lips. if either of you were less dizzy, one of you would have voiced your surprise at how much came out at all. after the 4th round, you half expected him to be shooting blanks. you guessed that’s what happens when you spend 2 weeks without sex, both of you promising to save your orgasms for the next time you could hook up.

that’s what the two of you did, hook up. just hook up. you used to want more, a time you liked to tuck away so deep it almost felt like you imagined it. i mean, how could you not want him? even right now, lying next to you, sweaty and drained, he was one of the most beautiful men you’d ever seen. the kind you’d do a double-take for when you walked past him on the street.

that’s exactly where you saw him first, after all. 6 years old, playing in the sprinklers during the summer, pausing to wave hi to the boy on the other side of the street. he had just moved into the house across from yours, and you made sure that very day that he made his first friend in the area: you.

first friend and almost first girlfriend, but he never took the leap. the only consolation for the emotional high school turmoil in your opinion was how, relationship or no, you still ended up getting to experience moments like this: admiring him as he cleaned you up, giving you a gentle kiss on the forehead like he didn’t just blow your back out. when he lay down with you and pulled you into his chest, there was no complicated past or future, just choso. you were lulled to sleep by the sound of his heartbeat gradually slowing as his eyes fluttered shut too.

the vibration of your phone rattling on the bedside table shattered your sleep like a brick through a window. you groaned, curling into choso like you could hide from your own phone. things clattered off his nightstand as he fumbled for your phone charging next to him.

you felt the rumble of choso’s groan on your cheek as you pressed your face into his chest. you had a good idea of who was calling by his reaction, which also meant you should answer it.

when you turned and cracked your eye open you were met with a blurry satoru gojo, his contact picture that he took when he was drunk. even in pixels he was obnoxious, shining brightly in your face. you rolled your eyes but a little smile still slipped onto your face, so small you didn’t even notice, but choso did. his thumb hovered over the red decline button, ready to press it before you realized what he was going to do, and snatched it out of his hand with a whine.

“choso you’re so mean, you know it’s probably about tomorrow” —tomorrow being your annual trip with hometown friends. it was actually impressive to most that you all kept in touch, but it was hard not to when a small town meant all of your parents still hung out too. this vacation, well actually most of them, was sponsored by none other than satoru gojo, this time by way of his beach house.

“and how is that supposed to make me care?” he grumbled but you felt his smile on your neck while he busied himself giving it more kisses as you answered the call.

“hey baby, how’re you doing?” gojo’s voice came through your phone, tone carrying his usual impish air.

you heard choso mumble “baby? oh please.” behind you. you just smiled at how easily satoru riled choso up no matter what he did.

“i’m good, i was kinda busy i can’t lie so please tell me you called about the trip or something”

“yeah im getting snacks with suguru right now, we were wondering what you wanted but you weren’t answering your texts,” you could hear the pout on his pretty face.

“i told you i was busy, but just get me some redbull, ill steal whatever snacks you guys got for yourselves.”

“nuh-uh, i’m not sharing my shit, that’s why i called, so you can get your own,”

“you’re gonna get diabetes, i’m just a concerned friend, willing to take on the burden of eating all that sugar,”

“aww, you care about me pooks?”

“no, i just know no one needs a party pack of starbursts just for themselves”

“are you watching me??”

“yeah, i’m the vents,”

“can you see how good my ass looks from there?”

“i—“

“hey gojo!” choso was tired of hearing his voice, pretending to be cheery if it meant your friend to shut up.

“who is—wait, cho-bro??”

“yeah,” “cho-bro” deadpanned. satoru never called him choso, not even cho, but his own special nickname, like they were close friends too, and not the kind who only had conversations with each other when none of their mutuals were around to talk to instead.

“what’re you doing there?”

“well actually we were—“

“hanging out, so gotta go! don’t forget my shit,”

“i won’t, but—” the phone beeped when you pressed the red hang-up button.

you glared at choso, who put a hand up in defense

“what did i say?”

“what were you going to say?”

“i mean— just that, well—“ choso didn’t look at you. you knew that choso was gonna say something about your little…arrangement.

“chosooo, we talked about this. you can’t get bothered every time gojo acts like, well gojo.”

“i just hate the way he’s so obviously flirting with you.”

“he’s been that way since we were kids, you know he just acts like that”

“you don’t see it, he clearly—“

“and if he did, what right do you even have to act the way you do over it? you always get so hung up on our friends, when that’s all we are. friends.”

“i’m just trying to—“

“protect me?”

“yeah.”

“please. you always say that but you just get jealous.”

“and i can’t be?”

“no! you can’t! especially when it gets in the way every single time cho!”

“you’re so blind.”

“and now it’s my fault??”

“i mean you just ignore it!”

“because it’s not a problem. it would be if you were my boyfriend or something but you’re not.

he didn’t say anything. choso wasnt afraid to throw the first punch, but whenever the confrontation got emotional, he shut down. being so used to taking care of other’s burdens tended to make having your own feel selfish.

“why don’t you trust any of our guy friends anyway? you don’t even trust suguru around me! the way you get hung up on it it’s like you want me to cut them out!”

“how could i trust suguru?” choso conveniently ignored your other points.

“i don’t know, maybe because he’s my brother?”

“not your real brother. that’s the difference.”

“and what do you want me to do about that?”

“i—i don’t know.”

“yeah. me neither.”

nothing, no words…until choso decided to throw gojo into the blender.

“i just don’t know what you even like about that stupid spoiled little brat.”

“hey, you can say whatever you will, but it’s crossing a line when you start actually insulting people i care about.”

“you can’t be serious.”

“why not?”

“i can’t believe you’re this stupid”

smack. you slapped him in the face, something you’d never done, something that had you both going silent.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean that.” choso whispered as his fingertips grazed his reddening cheek. you felt guilty, but couldn’t bring yourself to apologize for standing up for yourself with the wake up call he needed.

“i know.” your voice was quiet now, “i don’t think we should sleep together for now. maybe not ever.”

“i—yeah. ok.”

you didn’t realize tears were streaming down your face until choso’s hand reached up to wipe them. his urge to take care of you was so strong even when he was the one who made you cry. only a single fingertip was allowed to barely swipe at your tears before you shoved off the bed, mumbling about how you had to go. choso’s pleas for you to stay sounded like they were being filtered through water, the sound of your heart beating in your ear tuning him out. your flight response made quick work of collecting your things as your mind left the room without you.

“this won’t stop you from coming on the trip right?” you didn’t turn around as you kept your hand resting on the door handle.

“no”

you hmed, still glad to see him even after all this.

your belongings clattered with every step you took to your car, having haphazardly thrown them into your tote. you tugged at your shirt, just now making sure it wasn’t inside out or anything, not having taken the time to look in the mirror before you left either. you definitely didn’t want to. you swallowed down a fresh set of tears when you realized it was one you stole from choso years ago.

the click of the car door shutting behind you was comforting, a feeling of safety within the space of your shitty honda. it allowed you to let out the exhausted sigh you didn’t realize you were holding in. looking in your rearview mirror, you told yourself you were a big girl, tidying up your smeared eyeliner with the back of your hand. in a way, you were grateful that most of your makeup was on chosos sheets, not much left on your face for your tears to ruin. you pulled your hair out of your face and took a deep breath, stilling your tears and your shaking, tucking things away how you had always done, putting on a smile for no one in particular. it felt like you were looking at someone else, your lips pulled back in a manner that made your skin feel like plastic.

it took a second but you finally fished your phone out from among all your lip glosses, snacks, and all the random shit you carried around. when it took so long to find something you thought maybe you should go more minimalist, not carry so much, but then you remembered what it was like to not be prepared, and no one around you could help, you guessed that meant the mini sewing kit, face wash, extra pair of glasses, tylenol, and everything else would continue to stay on you at all times.

gojo’s face was still on your screen, but in a little circle by his text notifications this time. a long press let you peek at what he’d said. only three words, ‘are u ok?’ but they made your vision blur with tears all the same. it was easy, calling gojo, you didn’t even hesitate.

“hey, sweets—wait, are you crying? hey hey, let it out, i can come get you right now, just stay on the phone”

“no no i’m already in my car” you sniffled

“ok but where are you headed?”

“mine.”

“are you packed already?”

“mostly yeah,”

“ok that’s good, i can take you to pick up your stuff in the morning, if you wanna spend the night at me and suguru’s. i’m grabbing the keys to the beach house and some stuff from my parents’ house but ill be there a little later. we can watch shitty tv and eat the food suguru thinks we don’t know he hides in the back of the cabinet.”

“thanks toru,” you sniffled out a laugh, “it’s not that big a deal but yeah can i spend the night with you guys?”

“if suguru says no then it’s someone else wearing him. (nah it’s kenny) i’ll stay on the phone if you want to have story time, or just be in my presence.” you were tempted to share, but you didn’t want gojo to know how involved he was.

“can you stay? unmuted?”

“i’m gonna be packing and watching a movie is that ok?”

“can i pick the movie?”

“what are we watching cutie?”

—

suguru and satoru’s place was close to yours, which meant it was also far from choso’s. it made sense, given how suguru, gojo, and you all went to the same school together while choso went to community college to become an auto mechanic.

he was never really interested in going the full academic route, but his mom was glad it was still school. he was good with his hands, never wasting time waiting or paying for a handyman, and fixing his motorcycle happened to be his hobby too. the best thing about it was that he could do it and still be at home to help take care of his brothers, even when all he really wanted was to take it and drive far away.

after an hour’s drive with the only music in the background the slightly fuzzy soundtrack of mean girls coming from the other side of the facetime call. gojo was in the bathroom but you told him you were close so you might hang up before he got back. you slung your tote over your shoulder and flipped through your keys while you walked up the driveway. you smiled as your thumb brushed over the little cat printed on the metal, something suguru had added when he got it made for you when he and satoru first moved into their house. the first place truly theirs, not just a dorm, was also yours.

before you could even slip the key in the door it was swinging open for you, suguru pulling you to his chest. satoru presumably texted him, you’d forgotten to amidst your tears.

the scent of sandalwood and the firmness of his hold comforted you immediately. he finally let go to get a look at you.

“hey.” his voice was soft and whole. he nodded his head inside and put his hand on your lower back to usher you in.

he lead the two of you towards the kitchen, presumably for tea. he always made a warm cup of tea when it was you who came over, a habit you don’t know exactly why he developed, but it showed how he cared. you tugged on the back of his black baggy sweatshirt when he went to pull out some cups from the upper cabinets. he looked back at you underneath his lifted arm, brow also lifted to match.

“i just wanna lie down.” his confused face slipped into an easy smile, putting the mugs back and letting his arm fall around your shoulders instead. he led you to take a seat on the side of the couch while he grabbed a fuzzy blanket from the basket in the corner.

it was kind of nice how gojo kept the ac on so cold that it didn’t even feel like spring, letting you walk around in baggy sweats and make hot drinks before burrowing under a thick blanket from the start of summer to the end. sure it was expensive but he had the money to pay for it.

suguru didn’t get the tv remote or anything, something you loved. he didn’t need anything playing in the background or an excuse to lay across the couch with you, strong arms pulling you from the edge and holding your head close to his chest. there was just enough space between you so he could look down to see your face, eyes never leaving, making it clear that you were the sole owner of his attention without ever having to ask.

he was genuine like that. if only it didn’t come from knowing what it was like to want that from someone else, back when he was in a much darker place. you wished, and you know satoru did too, that you could’ve been there for him in the way he needed back then, but you were children too.

nut time has passed. you’re 21 years old, trying not to cry again as suguru held you while you told him about how you and choso had been sleeping together secretly and everything that had happened, leaving out the part where it was insinuated suguru was also in love with you.

suguru’s eyes told you he wasn’t mad at what choso said, but he was mad that he made you cry. when he was mad there was a certain look to him, not angry brows and a frown, but a rage in his eyes that paraded as emptiness. but right now his pupils were full and perfectly focused, enraptured by the way your lips molded around every word so perfectly, despite the hurt you were actually verbalizing.

“— i hate how he lets it come between us.”

suguru sighed before he spoke, “satoru can get on people’s nerves and cross the line sometimes but choso’s not the one drawing it, especially not if it goes through you.”

“the way you have with words, read it in a book mr. philosophy major?” you poked at his chest, watching him roll his eyes at you and tighten his hold on you just the tiniest bit. it was true though, your stepbrother always did take great care in choosing his words when someone was brave enough to be vulnerable around him.

“depends.”

“what could it possibly depend on?”

“well if you think it’s shit advice then i’ll say it’s from a book, but if you actually think it’s good, then it’s gotta be all me.” he gave you his stupid teasing smirk, the one that made all the girls blush. you rolled your eyes instead, glad that you were immune to “the suguru effect” after all these years—well, maybe not, but you were definitely a pro at hiding it. it was only surface level though, definitely not anything that validated choso’s claims even the tiniest bit. totally. 100%. nothing repressed at all.

“seriously though, sugie, i don’t want this to keep being a problem the way it already has been,”

“i don’t think—I just…” his gaze shifted to the side, avoiding your eyes. sometimes he was a little too careful choosing his words.

“don’t tiptoe around my feelings. you know i hate it when you don’t share things,”

“well, i don’t want to make you feel bad, but i think you should stop sleeping with him,”

“i know. it’s kind of an obvious answer, but…” now you looked away, a little embarrassed to admit that you were too horny too often to not have consistent sex, and you were too insecure to try and find someone new, scared of being rejected or disappointed. choso was safe, familiar, and it was guaranteed to be good.

“i know you… feel things for choso,” suguru could always see straight through you, something you both hated and appreciated. you could feel the slight flex of his fingers, itching to hold you closer as he continued, “and you have for a long time, but there’s always been a reason you’re not together.” pfft. if only he knew we fought over him too. “maybe it’s time to accept that you might not ever be, and sex is not going to help.”

you hated how right he was. sure, you considered your crush on choso firmly confined to the past, but he would always have a special place in your heart, one that let him get away with a little too much sometimes. still, you thought that being adults now would mean mixed signals and petty problems like jealousy were the last thing you had to worry about when you started fucking.

“once again, obvious.” you played it off with a smile, or tried to. you never could with someone like him.

“yeah, obvious” he flicked your forehead in teasing, “but are you going to stop?” he raised a brow with a knowing smirk, challenging you to be honest.

“i’m tired of it. so yeah. we already agreed on it anyway,” before he could say anything you added “and this time i’ll stick to it. pinky,” you held your little finger out for him to wrap his own around it, thumb stamping to seal it. you really hoped you could stick to it.

“that’s a good girl.” he looked at you so proudly for the smallest of things. as long as you were taking steps to take care of yourself, it didn’t matter if your promise was sealed the playground way. no one else made you feel so seen and safe the way he did when he looked at you like that, or maybe they had but you only noticed because it was him giving it.

“we should sleep though, crying can take a lot out of you, and we gotta head up early since satoru’s got the keys.” you hummed in agreement, your eyes falling shut as soon as sleep was suggested. sitting up just a little, he managed to hit the light switch behind him. he pulled you closer and away from the edge of the couch again then lay back down fully with you on his chest. you didn’t open your eyes when he got up, you just kept them closed and waited until you could tuck yourself under his chin. your hand splayed on his chest, finding a few strands of his silky hair scattered underneath your fingers. you gathered them and toyed with his locks while you let yourself finally rest. he could feel the smile against his chest that you didn’t even notice due to your barely conscious state. he hoped years of self-control kept his heartbeat in check.

the sound of the door being unlocked and swinging open didn’t even make you twitch. satoru walked in to see you completely knocked out in his best friend’s arms. suguru was asleep with his mouth open, a picture satoru would most definitely be taking. you looked so happy, safe. he was relieved, and he wished that was all he was.

he hated the tinge of disappointment knowing he arrived too late, even while ignoring the speed limit. maybe if he got there while you were awake he would somehow be the one holding you while you slept.

PART 2 >

ty for reading!! likes, comments, and reblogs always welcome n appreciated! comment for taglist <3

fanart creds: unknown, @narutoss.ramen, unknown (message me for credit or for removal!)

he thought about you since then. the passing of time was the only thing that kept his thoughts of you in check, pushing them to the back of his mind like a photo album left in the attic to collect dust. when shoko texted him you’d be coming to your unofficial jujutsu high reunion in a week, she practically tore that photo album open. time had no effect, each image of you was still so vibrant in his head. it only made sense, given the way his heart had served as a protective cover all those years.

immediately, potential greetings and remarks began to float around in his head and continued to do so for the days leading up to tonight. some were funny, some serious, some painfully embarrassing, and they all seemed to crash into each other, resulting in a dull headache that had nanami clutching his skull and knocking back some advil with a glass of wine the other night. a doctor definitely would not have recommended that, but he’d seen his own doctor doing the same, except shoko preferred beer.

that’s the state he’d been in, even as he sat in the cracked leather booth of a little bar utahime picked, pretending to listen to her rant about sports, only for every conversation starter and coherent thought he’d come up with to be thrown out and distilled into two words as soon as you actually walked through the door: “holy shit”

who could blame him? he was a man who’d walked out on a life he could have had with you, thought about it for years, only to find out that during the same amount of time you’d grown ridiculously hot. if you asked him later he would’ve described his first impression of the new you (well, new to him) as mature or even beautiful, but the truth is your presence hit him over the head like a club and the only thing his freshly dumbed-out brain could think was that you were hot; from the curves that had filled out and some of the baby fat that faded to the confidence in your shoulders and self-assuredness in your walk. he didn’t know why he expected you to still be the same endearingly shy girl who didn’t have the guts to say you wished he would stay.

your eyes met his, and your smile immediately grew bigger, calling his name as you came up to the group of friends.

“kento! its been forever!” your voice still sounded better than any song.

he was relieved that you didn’t seem to be holding anything against him, he just hoped you didn’t notice how wide his eyes had been behind his tinted glasses. as you pulled him in for a hug, you overwhelmed each one of his senses. he felt your body in his arms, smelled your seductively perfumed skin, and imagined what you’d taste like on his tongue. probably not like the mint chapstick you always had on you in high school, the same way you didn’t smell like lavender dryer sheets anymore. those things weren’t bad, they were part of some of his favorite memories after all, but the way you were now was just so much more intoxicating.

he wasn’t usually awkward, he didn’t care enough about other people’s opinions to get embarassed. but with you, he let his arms drop robotically to his sides as soon as he felt you start to pull away from the embrace. he squeezed his hands to make his movement less jerky but also to cope. you decided not to poke fun at him just yet and he was eternally grateful for your kindness, even though he didn’t know whether or not it was intentional.

the next second gojo was crashing straight through the rose colored glass. he practically threw himself at you, yapping about something nanami didn’t care about simply because he was the one saying it, but the way you laughed suddenly made him curious. the hell could gojo be saying to even garner that reaction?

“toru i literally saw you this morning!”

toru?

“and? more importantly how come you said hi to nanamin first?”

because i’m not an idiot.

“because i saw you this morning!”

you probably saw him at the school or something today.

“booooo. next thing you’re gonna say you don’t love me!”

obviously —wait, why ask that? it’s a joke right? he’s always been such a flirt with you.

”hmmmm…” you tapped your chin like you were thinking about it.

say you dont. please, please say you dont.

”don’t even play like that baby!” he grasped your hands dramatically.

this is a dream, no—a nightmare. what the fuck is happening?

you whispered something in his ear, making gojo smile in a way that made nanami frown. he’d only had one glass of wine but the way gojo’s hand drifted to the small of your back and the way you leaned into it so comfortably, like he’d done it a million times, like you liked it, made his stomach churn the way it did only after a long night of drinking. it honestly didn’t sound like such a bad idea right now.

you proceeded to give hugs to the rest of the party, embracing shoko, utahime, geto, yuki, and haibara affectionately. haibara was the only one nanami had truly kept in contact with, contact being lunch once a year and sporadic texts. he’d never mentioned you or gojo getting together or anything close, but haibara tended to get caught up in one story and go down a rabbit hole, usually his own relationship with yuki. gushing about her meant completely forgetting to mention other important developments, like the possibility that you had fallen in love with the one man who nanami hated.

it had seemed pretty obvious that was the case with the way you two were acting, but nanami was still clinging to hope it wasn’t true, with a desperation he was almost ashamed of. you couldn’t possibly find gojo’s personality tolerable, let alone attractive. he knew you, the girl he had his first kiss with, the one whose face he couldn’t help but imagine when he thought about getting down on one knee someday, even if it was just a fantasy.

that hope was both fueled and crushed within the next 3 seconds. geto had gotten up to give you a peck on the cheek, and after giving you a hug too, he slid back into the booth, keeping his arm slung around you and pulling you in to sit next to him. you had always had an oddly close relationship with geto, one that actually used to make nanami insecure before he realized geto was just, well, like that. he was just very comfortable with physical touch when it came to those close to him, and they all just seemed to embrace it. even shoko in her own way, although she couldn’t just smile without making sure to hit him in the head and threaten to put her cigarette out on his meticulously maintained hair. out of all of you though, gojo received and reciprocated geto’s affection the most. it was honestly enough to raise allegations that they still hadn’t technically beaten, but they probably didn’t care to anyways. maybe (hopefully) that platonic intimacy had simply extended to gojo.

but then the blue-eyed dumbass followed you back into the booth, playfully picking up geto’s limp arm and dropping it back on his side. he didn’t replace suguru’s arm with his own though. no, his hands wrapped around your waist to pull you onto his lap.

”always so possessive satoru.” geto smiled in that same handsome but sly way he always did, like he knew something you didn’t and wasn’t going to tell you anytime soon.

”if you had a girl like her you’d understand.” he looked at you above his blacked-out glasses. something in his gaze said you were the center of his universe, something nanami had never seen coming from him before. he didn’t even think it was possible for him to look at anyone but his own reflection that way.

you didn’t just respond with the same look, you went further. you kissed him. you placed your hand on satoru gojo’s cheek and pulled him in, your soft lips meeting his. gojo had lips that only opened to say stupid shit, and here you were, bestowing upon them something they definitely didn’t deserve. nanami couldn’t help the way he cleared his throat. aggressively enough to make utahime put down her beer to giggle.

“sorry if it made you uncomfortable ken…” you blushed, now embarrassed over the clear pda you had partly initiated. it seemed gojo didn’t like seeing you feel shy about your apparent relationship, not when he loved making it obvious that he adored you, both alone and in public.

“shit you didn’t know, did you?” his brows were pressed together in genuine curiosity, but the tilt of his lips he let slip for just a second showed that he knew exactly what he was doing. little shit was clearly trying to show that you were very much his girl and that wasn’t changing anytime soon. if nanami were a better man, he wouldn’t blame him, knowing he’d do the exact same thing if you were his. but nanami wasn’t a better man, not right now when he’s looking at you, more beautiful than ever, trapped in someone else’s arms.

“no. i didn’t.” nanami took a very large sip of his glass (downing the entire thing before telling haibara to order him another one as he already headed towards the bar) “how long has this been going on?” his eyes flicked between you two, tightly lined lips following his question.

”about a year and a half.” gojo responded as he shifted you to look at him, and only him.

“i thought you hated him.” he deadpanned.

”nah that’s you and hime.” geto chuckled out.

”i mean i was annoyed by him sure,” you made gojo pout, but to reassure him you scratched his hair, and it worked. he immediately perked up again like a damn puppy. you continued now that gojo was sure he was still your favorite, “but i don’t know, everyone else went off to do their own thing and since gojo and i are teachers we spent more time together. he grew on me, although i don’t think you really left me with a choice.” you directed the last tease at your boyfriend.

”would’ve waited forever for you to come around.” there was an unfamiliar tenderness in gojo’s voice that nanami was almost taken aback by.

”yeah yeah just don’t ever fuck in the infirmary again.” shoko rolled her eyes as nanami finally started trying to hide his disgust, only for your sake. he shouldn’t make you feel guilty… even if he was seconds from flipping the table over. the legs being bolted to the floor wouldn’t be a problem for him.

”are you serious?!?” utahime cried out in dramatic disdain.

”hey feel sorry for yu, he was the one lucky enough to find them.” yuki chimed in.

”lalalala” haibara stuck his fingers in his ears, trying to block out any mention of that scarring moment. the group erupted in laughter, including him. it was the kind of thing he expected from tonight. not news that the sweetest girl had gotten caught up with the worst possible guy, and he wasn’t there to do a damn thing.

nanami excused himself, mumbling out the word “bathroom” when you asked him where he was going. if anything, he was hiding in there, hiding from the disturbing truth. the creak of the bathroom door told him someone had followed him in, and his instincts told him who it was just before he saw him standing behind him in the mirror, all while his hands had a white knuckled gripped on the porcelain. unfortunately for him, suguru was always too perceptive for his own good even though it came from wishing someone would notice him in the same way (sry pookie i love u)

“so you really didn’t know, huh?”

“yu’s not exactly the best at updates unless yuki’s involved.”

suguru huffed out one of those humorless laughs as he looked down at his shoes, leaning against one of the stall dividers with his hands in his pockets. when his eyes suddenly flicked up, there was a new amethyst colored seriousness. and yet, you could see the speck of compassion and care if you searched for it.

“the answer is no, by the way.”

“answer to what?”

“the question i know you’re asking.” his words caused nanami to raise his brow. the blonde was never one to beat around the bush, so suguru relented and just told him straight, “‘would she be with you instead if you hadn’t left?’”

nanami’s harsh expression faded just a little, but he didn’t deny it, just breathed out softly, “how do you know that?”

“she loved you, but she loved gojo too. even she didn’t know, but if you look back, you can see it.”

not true, you couldn’t stand him either. always rolling your eyes when he talked, refusing to be his partner, complaining about him…but when you rolled your eyes there was a smile to accompany it, and when you refused to be his partner you weren’t angry, more like nervous, to be with him, and when you complained about him it was for ages, ranting about his arrogance, but always mentioning how handsome and strong he was. suguru was always right, and this time horribly so.

nanami turned to face the wall at the end of the bathroom, shoving his hands in his pockets as if the khaki fabric could hide the way he was clenching them again, his fists only getting tighter as suguru continued.

“gojo meant it.” he paused, “y’know, when he said he’d wait forever for her. he wasn’t gonna give up trying, and he would’ve won her over by the time you’d grown enough to fight for her yourself.”

“you don’t know that.”

“you do.”

he was right once again. nanami knew himself. when he knew you he was young and immature, shy and weak. he was different now, but that took time. he wouldn’t have had the courage until it was too late. the only difference was he would’ve had to watch.

suguru stepped out, giving the man some time to process the heartbreak he didn’t think he’d ever have to deal with.

as he exited the restroom, he passed by everyone. he held up two fingers to his lips, signaling he was going outside to smoke. shoko said she’d join him in a second and he just nodded, not missing the way you and gojo were looking at yuki, laughing at whatever she was saying. damn. you didn’t even have to be looking at each other for it to be painfully obvious you and satoru were in love.

leaning against the cold brick wall outside the bar, suguru took the first drag of his cigarette while he tried to convince himself he did the right thing. the real answer to nanamis question was yes. if he hadn’t left, you would be with him right now. it didn’t matter if you loved both gojo and nanami when you were all younger, because you loved nanami more. hell, you’d even cried to suguru about it. it didn’t matter if he didn’t have the courage yet, because you would’ve waited for him to gain it, as long as he stayed by your side. but that knowledge would only twist the knife, so he told nanami there was nothing he could’ve done, if only so his friend could sleep at night. suguru didn’t know if he could, not when he was a liar.

might do a pt. 2 in gojo’s pov or of background w nanami?? lmk if y’all would be into that lol.